“Why don’t the Grants just talk to them? Tell them the truth.”
“Because that’s not how they do business. Like I said, Logan, it’s complicated. Sam can tell you the rest if she wants to.”
“Is she home, at the loft?”
“No, Sam’s in Hong Kong. She’ll be home in a couple of days. That should give you plenty of time to clean yourself up. No more wallowing, no more feeling sorry for yourself, no more drinking. It’s time to find your balls, Logan. It’s not a request, it’s an order.”
I roll my eyes at him.
He holds up a hand. “I mean it, Logan. In your present state, you’re a threat to yourself and to Sam. I won’t have it. You get your shit together or I’ll have you shipped back to Canada. And I’ll make it my life’s mission to make your life hell.”
“Fine. I’ll get my shit together. I would never hurt Sam.”
“Don’t you think that’s what you’ve been doing?”
“Yeah, right. Are you forgetting she dumped me?”
“Is that truly what happened? She told me she needed time and space to figure out some things. That it wasn’t forever, only for now. She said you ended it. You decided it was over if she took this time, if she stepped back.”
“I only said that so she wouldn’t do it, so she’d have to choose. And she chose wrong. I lost her once, and it took me two months to find her. Those two months were the longest of my life. I wanted to be man enough to give her the time, to let her step back. But I’m lost without her; she’s my other half. I was afraid she’d step back and keep on going. She thinks she’s cursed. And that all my baggage, my past, and everything that’s been going on were some kind of sign or warning.”
“Logan,” he says, softy. “Sam has been through a lot; she’s lost a lot. She’s blamed herself for things she shouldn’t, things she had no control over. It’s been her way of coping with loss. If you blame yourself for all the bad that happens, you’re telling yourself you have control over it. Deep down, Sam knows she’s not cursed, she’s just broken.”
“I told her that; she wouldn’t listen.”
“Like you listened to her? If you hadn’t been so blinded by your own hurt, your own brokenness, you would have seen, would have heard what she was telling you.”
“What was she telling me?”
“I think you know. She was telling you to prove her wrong, to fight for her. To see beyond her stubbornness, her strength, her fears, her losses, and make her whole, help fix her, love her.”
“Fuck. I’m an idiot.”
The driver chuckles and Lee joins him.
“I agree with your self-assessment. I know another idiot who took years to finally get his shit together. Jaxson Ryan was a cocky bastard who chose not to see between the lines. He made some stupid choices, let bad people influence him, and it nearly killed the woman he can’t breathe without. I’m not going to let you do that, Logan. You’re going to find your balls, get your shit together, and became a productive member of the family. Do you get me?”
“I get you.”
We pull up in front of Sam’s office and loft. Press and paparazzi litter the sidewalk.
“Holy hell.”
“You should see what it’s like in front of Grant and at the estate. It’s a zoo, a circus. When we get out, you know the drill. Stay close to me, don’t look up, and don’t open your mouth. There’s a guard at the door and one across the street. You won’t see him but he’s there. I’ve had everything you need delivered. You don’t leave without my permission. Do you get me?”
“Copy that.”
He nods. “Are you ready to live the rest of your life, Logan?”
“I’m ready.”
He opens the door. “Then let’s go.”
“Are you okay?” Lee asks.
I look across the seat. He looks tired. The last few weeks have been hell for all of us.
“I’m okay. Are you?”
“I’m good. I watched the video of the board meeting. You were awesome. You had them eating out of your hand.”
“All I can say is, thank God I was in Hong Kong, and they were in London. I was so nervous; I called Lex and asked her how she does it. How she stands in front of all these intimidating people all the time.”
“She imagines them in speedos.”
“She told you?”
“Oh, yeah. I’d seen her giggle, cringe, and raise brows during one of the first meetings I went to. So I asked her, what the hell? And that’s when she told me.”
“My imagination is into details; I almost ralphed.”
He chuckles.
I look out the window. I’m nervous about seeing Logan. It’s been almost two months since I’ve seen his perfection. I’ve missed him so much, and I’ve been praying he’s forgiven me for stepping back.
“It will all work out, Sam.”
“I hope so. I’m nervous to see him, to tell him everything. I never saw myself in this position.”
“It’s hereditary.”
I roll my eyes at him. “How is he?”
“I’m happy to say he’s found his balls and has put them in the right order.”
I sigh. “Allie said he looked like Grizzly Adams. I didn’t know who he was. I had to google it. Did he really look that bad?”
“Worse and he reeked. Smelled like barf and dirty gym socks.”
I grimace. “Allie told me all about the smell. Just the thought of it made me lose my breakfast and lunch.”
“Is it bad?”
“I’ll live.”
Lee reaches over, putting his hand over mine. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been there for your family, stepped in for your sister and Jaxson, while dealing with some heavy personal stuff.”
“Thank you, Lee.”
His phone rings. He looks at the screen and smiles.
“Hot date?”
He shows me a picture on his phone.
“He’s superhot. He looks familiar.”
“Richard is the head gardener at Ryan House.”
“The head gardener. Is he good with a hoe?” I tease.
He raises a brow. “You should see how he handles a blower.”
I giggle.
He shows me another picture.
“No fucking way. Are those… is she wearing overalls?”
He nods.
“Jules in overalls, gardening. Hell just froze over.”
He laughs. “Richard said she’s a natural.”
“He must have meant a natural blonde.”
“I think she’s bored to death and just wants to keep busy.”
“No doubt. But still… gardening?”
“We’re about five minutes out, sir.” Mike, the driver, says.
I blow out a breath.
Lee squeezes my hand. “You can do it.”
I nod as we pull up in front of my loft. There’s no press or paparazzi blocking the entry. I smile. “What happened?”
Lee smiles. “Carlo Coletti happened.”
“It there anything that man can’t do?”
“Helps to know the right people, Sam.”
Lee opens the door and gets out; I follow and wait while he retrieves my luggage from the back of the Rover. A young man I recognized as one of Lee’s team greets us.
“Allen, everything good?”
Allen nods. “Yes, sir. Quiet.”
“Just the way we like it. Sam, this is Allen Ladd, I don’t believe you’ve formally met.”
I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Can I get your luggage?” he asks.
“Please.”
Lee puts his arm around me as we walk through the outer security gate to the entry. He punches in the code and swipes my key card. It opens and I step aside to allow Allen entry.
Lee pulls the freight-style elevator door open and Allen places the bags inside.
“Thank you, Allen.”
He tips his chin. “I’ll be out front all night, Ms. Grant.”
I nod
and he takes his leave.
“Thanks, Lee, for everything.”
He kisses me on the cheek. “Do you want me to ride up with you?”
“I think it’s best if I go up on my own.”
“I’ll be meeting Jaxson at Grant and flying to the Estate. I’ll be there all weekend. You know how to get hold of me.”
“I’ll be fine. Have fun with Richard.”
“I always do, Sam,” he says, and pulls the door shut.
I inhale as I press the up button. As the elevator ascends, I exhale. Okay, Sam. You can do this. You’re a Grant, for hell sakes. You kicked ass in front of fifty board members. Okay, not exactly in front of, but you kicked ass.
When it stops, I inhale again and pull it open. My breath catches when I take in the man before me.
“Angel.”
I let out my breath. “Logan.”
He smiles.
I step out. “Is that lasagna I smell?”
He nods and I ralph at his feet.
I step out of the shower and he hands me a warm towel.
“Thanks,” I say and wrap it around me.
“Feeling better?”
“Much.”
“I put the lasagna in the fridge.”
I nod.
“Do you think you have the flu?”
“Um.”
“Maybe it’s food poisoning?”
“Maybe,” I lie.
“Can I get you anything? A new lung, perhaps.”
“It was bad, wasn’t it?”
“I looked for a lung in the toilet.”
“Could you…?” I point to another towel.
“Oh. Sorry,” he says, and grabs it.
I take it and wrap it around my wet hair.
Logan looks everywhere except at me. He’s just as nervous as I am, maybe more. No, not more.
“I’ll give you some space,” he says, looking at his bare feet.
I look down at them. Even the man’s friggin’ feet are beautiful. Big sigh.
“Sorry about your new Nikes. They were lovely.”
“Not a big deal. Can I get you anything?”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen.”
“Okay,” I say and watch him walk out and shut the door.
Ralphing on his shoes is not exactly how I’d hoped to greet him.
I dry, dress, and go in search of him. I find him in the main living area sitting on the leather sectional. As I approach, he stands.
“You made tea and toast?”
“I want you to try and eat something. You look like you’ve lost weight?”
I sit, tucking my legs under me. “I think you might have dropped a few pounds as well.”
“I’ve already gained most of them back.”
He hands me a cup of herbal tea.
I take a sip and relax against the cool leather.
“Sam, I….”
“Go on.”
“I’m sorry for everything.”
“As you should be. Holing up in the Tower, drinking, making friends with the doorman and a cockroach isn’t how I’d hoped you’d used the time and space I’d given us.”
“I didn’t exactly see it as a gift, angel.”
“Maybe not, but I’d hoped you would take the time and work things out. Think on your future and work on dealing with it, not wallow in it.”
“I didn’t see a future, angel. Not without you. I couldn’t get past the hurt.”
“Obviously.”
“I’m sorry, I know you’re disappointed.”
“I hurt too, Logan, but I didn’t have time to wallow.”
He frowns and looks down at his empty hands. I’m betting he wishes he’d gotten himself a beer so he could peel the label. “Go get a beer.”
He looks up. “How’d you know?”
“I know it helps you think, having your hands busy.”
He gets up, gets a bottle out of the fridge, and rejoins me.
“Better?”
“Much.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you, Logan, but I needed the space. I needed to think about my behavior, and what I was going to do about it. Deep down I knew I wasn’t cursed and things happen that we can’t control. I’ve been afraid for so long, I don’t know how to live without fear. I’m always waiting for the next event, the next tragedy. I thought if I was always on alert, somehow I could control things.”
“I knew you were afraid of losing me, afraid I’d be seriously injured on the ice. I was always afraid of losing you. I was afraid if I told you about my past, about Luke and the accident, you’d leave me.”
“Did you read my last e-mail?”
He nods.
“Then you know I’m getting help, seeing a shrink.”
“I think that’s good, angel.”
“I want you to see one as well. And I’d like us to see someone together. You and I are so similar we need someone to help us see past ourselves.”
“I’ll do any and everything to make us whole and healthy. But I can’t do it without you. I can’t be separated from you.”
“I agree; we need to work things out together.”
“I’ve been doing lunch this past week.”
“I heard. Yesterday Lee, today Jax.”
“Lee told me about your mom and the Colettis.”
“He told me.”
“Wow, is all I can say to that.”
“That’s about all any of us can say to that.”
“I met Jaxson at Grant today.”
I nod. “He called me a few days ago. Said he wasn’t asking my permission but he wanted to inform me he was going to interfere.”
“We talked about the takeover and what happened in Dublin. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“It’s been a long few weeks.”
“We also talked about the time he thought Alexia had left him. How he lost it, went on a bender for months.”
“I remember.”
“He told me it was just a huge misunderstanding and he regretted not seeing through the lies and having more faith in himself and his love for Alexia. He said to never let you out of my sight, never let you separate us.”
I put my tea down on the coffee table and hold out my hand. “I’ll never let you leave me, Logan. Never.”
He puts down his beer and stands. Ignoring my extended hand, he scoops me up. “I need you, angel. How’s your tummy?”
Getting bigger. “Fine. I’m good.”
He carries me to the bedroom and sets me on the bed. I lean back on my elbows as he strips. “Oh my. Is that for me?”
“Always for you. Only for you.”
He helps me remove my sleep pants and tee. Taking a step back, he scans me.
“Like what you see, Romano?”
“Fucking love what I see.”
He grasps my ankles and pulls me to the edge of the bed. Spreading my thighs wide, he kneels. “We’re going to play a little game.”
“We are?”
“Yes, we are. You are going to beg me to touch you, to fuck you, to make love to you.”
“I am?”
He runs the back of his hand down my inner thigh. “Yes, you are.”
“Okay.”
“And you’re going to address me as Sir.”
“I am?”
“Yes. You are.”
“Okay. Please, Sir. I beg you to touch me, fuck me, make love to me.”
He frowns. “Not yet. I haven’t started the game.”
“Oh. Well, I have a game of my own.”
His frown deepens, clearly annoyed by this bit of news. “You do?”
“I do. Do you want to know what it is?”
“No. I wanted to play my game,” he whines.
“You need to learn how to take turns, learn how to share, Logan.”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes life gets even more complicated and we have to open up our heart, and minds to other… possibilities.”
“I don’
t like your game. Let’s play my game first and if we still have the energy we’ll play yours.”
“No. We are going to play my game first. It’s called Guess What?”
“Okay, but I’m telling you right now, my dick doesn’t like it.”
“Does it always come down to your dick?”
He bites his lip, thinking. “Yeah, it does.”
I sit up slightly and he frowns.
“My game will change your life.”
Shit ass grin. “Oh, yeah.”
“Not like that.”
He frowns.
“It won’t take long, Logan. Then we can play your game.”
He sighs big as he looks between my legs. “Okay, but make it fast.”
“Guess what happens when you go to your doctor and they give you birth control samples, and said samples have expired?”
He shrugs, looking bored and seriously annoyed. “Well, I guess it wouldn’t be good. Said pills might not be as effective and…”
“And?”
“No way?”
“Shit happens.”
“Anngeell,” he says, as his eyes roll back and his head connects with hardwood.
I sit up. “Score!”
Years later….
Madison Square Garden. Grant Private Suite, aka Romeo’s Nursery.
I look around for my daughters, which, by the way, isn’t easy. Between Lex’s triplets, my twins Avery and Alisa, Jules’s daughter Noel, Marco and Henry’s adopted daughter Chloe and Krissy, there’s a lot of estrogen.
“Have you seen Avery and Alisa?
Jules lowers her binoculars. “They went with Lex and her girls. Something about food, I think?”
Chase, JB, Gray, and Allie and Matt’s son Marcus play a loud game of cards on the table behind us.
I turn. “Chase?”
He looks up from his cards. “What?”
“Where did your mom go?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
“I hope she went to get some food. I’m starving,” JB adds.
A very pregnant Allie waddles into the suite and sits next to Jules.
“Where have you been?”
“Do you need to ask?”
Jules chuckles. “Kegels help, ya know.”
“Kegels are Band-Aids. Vasectomies are the cure,” I tell her.
Beyond Layers: Layer Series Book Four (Layers Series 4) Page 23