There's a section we can break through in the fence, right near where we were."
She gripped my wrist for balance, and groped around the metal edge of the bed.
"Calm down. Stop groping. I said I'm taking you with me when I get out!"
That didn't stop her.
"All right, go on, keep groping. You'll stay here locked up like a looney, and never see Miguel again!"
That stopped her. Really stopped her. She shot to attention and listened. I felt the air bristle and snap.
"Do what I tell you. Dig your nails in your hands when the coma gets too deep. Bite your cheeks all through it. Twist your toes inside each other, and they won't grab your entire soul." Huge tears started falling down her face.
"You'll realize Miguel never left you. How could he leave you? He's everywhere."
Her body started trembling. It was beautiful to see.
"It's only a matter of time, Duffino."
Then, suddenly, I heard someone rattling our doorknob. It
was Miriam Stony, coming to tell us that visiting time was over for now. I finished my last words breathlessly.
"Visiting hour is over," Miriam's voice lashed in as she
walked through the door. Then she came closer. "What's Duffino doing half out of bed? She's not strong enough for that yet."
"She can get up," I said.
"No she can't."
"Yes she can. She feels better."
"Ha."
"She's seen something!"
"What?" Miriam was startled.
"That's for her to say."
Miriam bristled. "She doesn't talk."
"But she will, Stony. She will very soon."
At that very moment Duffino called out, a sweet piercing sound. Her voice rang through the thick white chamber and bounced back at us like a silver sword.
Miriam and I jumped back together. The sound was so haunting, Miriam Stony covered her tiny ears.
The sound went on, got louder and louder, as if to say, look, I'm better. I'm here. That's all.
Chapter Thirteen
No one could believe that Duffino had yelled out like that. Especially Dr. Farbin. Sounds like that were the precursor to language.
Miriam ran up from Insulin and broadcasted the news over the loudspeaker:
"Urgent! Urgent! Come immediately to station One."
Doctors, nurses, and orderlies started running through the hallways to the nurse's station. The last time this call had been made, a suicide had taken place. Dr. Ethan ran so fast, he started panting.
Dr. Whitney arrived before everyone.
Miriam's face was pale. "Something's happening with Duffino," she announced, "she's cried out! Speech is coming."
"What?"
"Charlotte heard it and so did I."
"When?"
"Just a few seconds ago. Her silence is broken."
"I don't believe it," Dr. Farbin said. "It's too soon. Improbable."
"I heard it distinctly," Miriam snapped.
"I want full details," Dr. Farbin demanded.
Miriam didn't know exactly how to elaborate.
"Her silence is broken," she repeated. "She called out over and over in a high, thin sound. It was communication. She was reaching out."
"What did she say exactly?" Dr. Farbin repeated.
Dr. Ethan said nothing, just stood very still, with a dazed expression in his eyes.
Miriam continued unhaltingly, "Not words exactly. She just called out."
"That's it?" Dr. Farbin kept demanding.
"When I got to her bedside though, I thought I heard her talking to Charlotte. I could have sworn she was saying something."
Everyone turned to me at once, and looked. Finally. Now they cared.
"To Charlotte?" Dr. Farbin was perturbed.
The staff looked impressed. Now they all knew I was a special -that my life had purpose, that my time with Duffino hadn't been
wasted. But I wasn't prepared for so much commotion. Duffino wasn't ready either.
Ai, ai, ai I wanted to cry out, good angels come quickly - protect both me and Duffino. Give us more time together. Don't let them take her away from me too soon!
Dr. Whitney came over to me.
"Is this true Charlotte? Duffino seemed to be speaking to you?"
"Seeming and doing are two different things."
"What was it she seemed to say?"
"Confidential," I blurted out.
One of the orderlies snickered.
"Charlotte, you realize this activity is unexpected. The press are waiting. The courts are waiting. Duffino's entire family are waiting for her to speak out and claim innocence."
"I realize."
"Not only will it help her, but it will do wonders for our
Insulin Therapy treatments and research."
"I realize everything."
"So, think hard now. What was it Duffino was trying to say?"
Suddenly I had become someone significant, to be contended with. I had information. I had value in their eyes. If they only knew the full extent of her story that I had unraveled, they would be amazed.
"We must know immediately! What was it?" Dr. Whitney was losing control.
"Well now, Dr. Whitney," I said. "Anger is not a constructive form of expression. You must learn to be calm."
"Tell me!" he said.
But Duffino was not ready, and neither was I. It was too soon to expose details. The story as she wrote it, was still secret, and I suddenly decided keep it that way. Even though it would give me glory, I still wasn't sure Duffino wanted to go free.
"If you tell us, Charlotte, if you help her speak, it could change your position here as well."
I narrowed my eyes. "How?"
"Your whole role can be reconsidered. Time away, maybe?
Probation?"
They were bribing me. My stomach lurched tight at the word probation. How I longed to step foot outside of these grounds.
"Probation," Dr. Whitney repeated.
I took a big step forward. "It's up to Duffino, isn't it? It's her story, not mine. It's her life you're holding. What can I tell you? When she's ready, she'll talk."
"Is she ready?"
"How do I know?"
Dr. Ethan knew there was more I was hiding. The look in his eyes told me so.
Dr. Farbin, however, started interrogating intensely.
"That's all Charlotte? You're very sure."
I knew he wanted to grab Duffino, take her away, write up the case and claim a victory from it. If he had his way, the intimate details of her story would soon belong to the entire world. But I wouldn't allow it. If he simply thought of her as a patient, and
published papers with a scientific diagnosis, whatever he said would be wrong.
"I have nothing further to add Dr. Farbin."
At that the entire group fell silent.
"Let's give this time," Dr. Whitney said tightly. "We must be careful not to grasp at straws."
"All right," Dr. Farbin said, "we have some kind of amorphous beginning, the silence has been broken, there's been some wish to communicate. Duffino may actually speak again soon, or it still could take years."
Throughout all of this Dr. Ethan said nothing. Now he looked afraid.
"What have you to say about this, Dr. Ethan?" Dr. Whitney turned to him.
But Dr. Ethan could say nothing. His eyes just filled with helpless tears.
Suddenly I felt exhausted, as if I'd climbed a thousand walls, trudged through rocky mountains. I started to remember my days at the convent and saw myself kneeling at mass. The nuns in front of me were kneeling, too, their heads hanging. Sister Dorothea was with them, praying. I was not praying, though. I was watching her. What was she asking for, I wondered? I could never know. As I knelt behind her, I felt her face flushed pink, always too pink while she was praying. I didn't like it. Something here was very wrong.
"Charlotte," Dr. Whitney was watching me, "Are you sure that's all Duffino s
aid to you?"
Despite all my efforts to listen to the doctors, my mind rolled back to the convent again. Holy communion was about to begin. I didn't want Sister Dorothea to receive holy communion. She didn't deserve it. Her face was too flushed. I knew she was lying.
"Charlotte, pay attention to us! What are you thinking of?"
"Holy communion, Dr. Whitney."
"Stop. Stay in the present. A crucial event has taken place. Obviously you are involved in it. We need every detail. Now, think hard. Are you sure Duffino didn't say anything?"
"Well, yes, now that I think of it, she did say one thing."
All eyes turned to me and the room grew deathly silent.
"What?" he asked, almost a whisper, leaning forward.
I leaned forward as well.
"Nurse Stony's a Whore! Nurse Stony's a Whore!"
The orderlies giggled. Nurse Stony flushed.
"Enough of this," Whitney belted out, and pointed to the orderlies, who came and carted me back to my room.
* * * * *
The papers carried a story about this. Moe, the reporter,
tried to get a picture of me, but Whitney wouldn't let him. The story appeared on page 2.
Duffino Almost Speaking: The long silence of
Duffino was broken yesterday, shortly after her first series of Insulin Therapy treatments at Bingham hospital, when she started making sounds and cries. This is preliminary, we are told, to the actual use of words. Staff at the hospital were reported to be cautiously optimistic.
There wasn't a word about me, not even a hint that I was the one sitting at her side when the first real sounds came forth.
The staff was playing hardball with me. They wanted facts and details before I could receive benefit.
I was prepared to play. I could wait a little while longer. After all, I had the facts.
* * * * *
Two days later, Duffino came up from Insulin, and one week after that she was scheduled to attend her first group therapy
session. Pressure was up for her to speak. Public attention on the case was re-kindled. The papers wanted follow-up stories. They wanted results.
When Dr. Ethan heard that Duffino was to attend group therapy sessions, he requested that he too attend as an adjunct therapist.
At first Dr. Farbin was incensed. "It's out of the question," he complained to Dr. Whitney.
Dr. Whitney liked the idea. "It's unique and creative," he replied. "The press will be interested. It will show we are using all our resources on this patient's behalf. Request granted."
The next morning, both Duffino and Dr. Ethan joined us in our group therapy room.
The group was ruffled.
"It's too much," William complained. "When my craft landed I was all alone. Now anyone could get my secrets."
"I am only here to observe," Dr. Ethan told us. "Pretend I'm not here at all."
"You want us to be more Schizophrenic?" Irene belted out.
"You crazy or something? Telling us not to face reality?"
Dr. Farbin openly smirked.
"Not at all. I'm here primarily to accompany Duffino, so she doesn't feel like she's the new kid on the block."
"My horses reject that justification," Lanny pronounced.
"They tell me it's a lie."
Dr. Ethan scraped his throat.
Just then the door opened. An orderly pushed his way in, Duffino trailing closely. The room fell silent.
"Sit down, Duffino," Dr. Farbin motioned to a chair.
"You may sit there, Dr. Ethan," Farbin added, motioning to a chair far across the room.
Dr. Ethan nodded and went to the chair. I could see a moment of camaraderie between them.
Duffino sat at the far end of the semicircle, next to Barney, who constantly twirled his tufts of gray hair. I could see he was uncomfortable. He sat very straight, and started looking from side to side.
Else giggled. William rubbed his foot on the ground. Freddy hung his head and sighed.
Dr. Farbin spoke up. "Naturally, when a new member enters a group, there is a shift in the equilibrium. We all are feeling that right now."
Else giggled louder.
"It is normal to feel nervous. Our balance has been shattered. However, we all must learn to make room for change. New people and events come every day. We must learn how to welcome them."
"Welcome!" William yelled out.
Irene tugged at his sleeve. "Billy, shut up. You're making a fool of yourself."
"I'm not."
"You are. What kind of lawyer you must have been! Idiotic."
William stopped.
"That kind of inference is illogical," Lanny said to Irene. "Because William feels like welcoming Duffino, that implies nothing about his legal abilities."
Irene couldn't stand it when Lanny started.
"Shut up, squirt," she said.
"I'll knight you," Lanny threatened, clutching his pawn.
"Stop fighting," Freddy said. "This is my party. This is my house. I invited Duffino and Ethan. They kindly said, Yes, I do."
Sharon dug her elbows into her lap and grimaced at everyone. "This is a rotten, boring waste of time," she said, "especially for me, a professor of philosophy! If I knew I'd end up here, I wouldn't kill a fly."
Suddenly Barney sat more rigidly, and pointed to Duffino, who was immovable in her chair. "Why isn't she moving? Why isn't she talking? There's a reason behind her madness. She's sucking the messages out of my mind!"
"Barney," Dr. Farbin interrupted.
"It's happened before. I can feel when it happens. The information leaves through the edge of my hair." He clutched his hair intensely. "The last time it happened I yelled to the Captain, be alert for attack. He didn't listen. We were wiped out immediately." His voice was rising.
"Calm down, Barney," Dr. Farbin demanded.
"You weren't wiped out, you're right here now!" Irene hollered.
"There's a Spy in our room," Barney insisted. "She's a Spy!"
"Hardly," Irene hollered.
"How do you know? Don't be so sure. Look at her carefully, she's not really sick. Anyone in his right mind can tell that in an instant."
All eyes turned to Duffino.
"She's one of them. Why do you think they all give her so much attention? They've brought her in to give them the inside story about each one of us."
A moment of quiet fell over the group.
"Why else do you think Ethan likes her so much?"
William stood at his seat. "Not a spy. She's here from Alutia. It's a little known planet, behind the one I came from last year. Alutia is famous for people like Duffino. The kind that holds everything in. Secretive. Nasty. Don't be fooled."
"Shut the hell up, Billy," Irene cried out.
Else's giggles turned into moans of despair.
Dr. Farbin clapped both hands together.
"You are projecting your own worlds onto Duffino."
"That's what they say in Alutia," William glowed.
"Sit down, Billy," I interrupted.
He looked at me and sat down.
"Extraordinary," Dr. Ethan murmured, from his corner of the room. "Truly extraordinary."
"All right," Dr. Farbin took control. "Feelings like these will surface when we are faced with change - when someone new enters our family unit."
"This is not my family unit. It never will be!" Irene yelled out.
"Wrong. We are a temporary family, placed together by circumstance, striving to work things out."
"That's not a family."
"Don't be so sure," Barney declared. "The enemy has come to invade our family. . ."
"No one is invading your family, Barney," Lanny chimed in.
"My pawns tell me Duffino won't be here long."
The room grew silent and stared at him.
"Neither will Charlotte."
The silence deepened.
"They've come temporarily, as a warning to us."
Barney clicked his hee
ls together violently. "A warning. There's danger ahead. The enemy's landed."
Dr. Farbin stood up and walked to Barney who could not be quieted. He kept clicking his heels and calling, "General, General save us from the enemy!"
"The enemy's only in your mind," Dr. Farbin shouted right at him.
"Ridiculous," Sharon called.
"There is not one person in this room who's an enemy! You're imagining enemies in your Mind!" Dr. Farbin said. "Imagination is the greatest enemy!"
It did no good. A wave of terror rippled across each inmate.
Dr. Ethan walked over to Barney and Dr. Farbin.
"We may need restraint," Dr. Farbin muttered to him.
Dr. Ethan looked sad, reached out and touched Barney's shoulder. "All is well, Barney."
"Horse shit," he yelled. This only incited him further. "General, it's Counter-Intelligence! Messages are being sent to camouflage danger. Leave us unguarded. All is not well! Protection is needed."
Dr. Farbin leaned over and pressed the buzzer for restraint.
"Not restraint!" William yelped.
"It will be over in an instant. Barney needs help!"
In what seemed like an instant three orderlies came, pushed the door open, took the shivering Barney in their arms, and pulled him, yelping, out of the room.
"General! General!" we heard down the hall.
The room fell into dead silence. Duffino put her head in her hands, and looked down at the floor.
Dr. Ethan went to his seat soberly.
"This is not routine behavior for our therapy sessions," Dr. Farbin said to Duffino. "But when a new patient enters, anything can be expected. Old terrors can be re-activated. Fantasies grow. Each one must re-define his role in our circle."
"Speak for yourself," Lanny yelled.
"I have no need to define my role in this circle," Irene called out. "Everyone knows, I am the world's mother."
"Not you, Irene," I crooned.
"Who? Duffino?"
"Not Duffino either."
Sitting there like that, staring at the floor, Duffino reminded me not of the Mother, but of the sisters at the convent.
"Then who?" Irene howled at me.
"Me," I said, definitively. "I am the Mother and always will be.
Chapter Fourteen
The next afternoon Duffino was allowed out for Free Hours. It was the middle of October, windy and cool. She stood behind me on line, waiting for her pass with a wool scarf wrapped around her neck. She scraped her foot back and forth restlessly. I turned around to give her a smile but she didn't smile back, or acknowledge me in any way.
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