There was nothing I could do, but obey, and as soon as I had, he was laying me on my back and in spite of my screams he did not stop until he had done what he came for. The fit test had been accomplished, but I knew I did not fit well with Sheldon.
“Don’t worry I’m not going to neglect you, just because you don’t like the tests anymore. You don’t have to like the tests. When I finish with Tamara I will be back, to remind you, that you belong to me, whether you like the tests or not!”
Sheldon fastened his trousers back up, and went to the door, turning the key in the lock, after he left. I dissolved in tears on top of the bed, after cleaning myself up. I never should have come here, I cried inside.
I was woken up, by Sheldon, pulling me by my leg, and placing me over the edge of the bed on my stomach. “You get a new test, this time,” Sheldon growled. I was half asleep, when I felt him taking new and different test that I had not expected. I screamed out in horror at his debasement at even wanting to use me in such a manner, but it didn’t stop him from his goal.
“I heard it was just as good this way,” he told me. “Apparently they were right,” and then he continued debasing me, as I begged him to stop. But he didn’t stop, until he had had his fill, and I was racked with pain.
“I think I have used myself up, between Tamara and then you. You should have kept quiet, Floriana, and everything would have remained the way it had been, until I got married. By then, you never would have wanted to leave me. But now you can’t, even if you do wish to leave.
“If I tire of this, I may just chain you to my wrist, and bring you out on the street to earn your keep, while I watch and instruct your customers. But for now, I will tell my father, you are ill, and I will have to tend to your needs, until you are feeling better.” I heard the door open, and the key turn in the lock. I thought about jumping out of the window, but I was too tired and sore to even do that.
Early, the next morning, before anyone was up, Sheldon woke me, unceremoniously, finding the place he needed to deposit his seed. He didn’t utter a word as he took his time defiling me, until he was satisfied. And then he left.
No one brought me any food or water, because Sheldon had the key, and he was the only one expected to take care of my needs anyway. At first, I just slept, but as the day wore on, I remembered the book I had found when I first made the bed. I reached under the mattress, and pulled the book out.
After reading the yellowed pages, written by Claudia Bogart, I came to the conclusion that it was her husband that was probably mad, and his sickness had been passed on to future generations. According to her account of what happened to her, I began identifying with Claudia, and thinking Sheldon was just like her husband, Hector Bogart. He had married her when she was sixteen years old, and the first three years of their marriage, she had not born any children, no matter how hard they tried. Hector insisted he do it every night, like the church condoned, and the whole three years, he continued his constant vigil. Hector blamed her, saying she was barren, but divorce was not condoned by the church, just as it was not accepted now either.
Then one day, Hector met another woman, and he wanted to take her on as his wife, but he was already married to Claudia. So he took Claudia to the tower, and locked her in, telling everyone that she had fallen over board when they had gone sailing. Her body was never found, and six months later, he married Bernice. Bernice was with child, almost at the beginning of their marriage, only the doctors said she was frail, and could not have any more children, after their son was born, and so Hector could not take up the matrimonial bed, any longer.
In order to satisfy his need, Hector, used Claudia, coming as often as he pleased to deposit his seed. He did not allow her to wear any clothes, and I wondered where the nightgown I had found in the drawer had come from? It had been the only piece of clothing in the dresser.
His use of Claudia continued, until she believed she was actually going mad, and then after about five years of such treatment, she discovered she was with child. She knew when her husband discover she was carrying his child, it would be taken from her, as soon as it was born, and she did not want to give him the satisfaction of raising her child, and then telling it that its mother was dead.
That was when she decided to jump from the window, to not only put an end to her life, and her unborn child’s life, but to let Bernice discover that she had not been dead all of that time after all. When they discovered she had been carrying a child, Bernice would also know her husband had fathered the child. It was Claudia’s way of getting back at her husband for what he had done to her. It took her months to chisel away at the bars, in order to put an end to her misery.
The master bedroom overlooked the path where her body would fall, and she was hoping that Hector’s wife would see her first, since it was her custom to go to the window first thing in the morning to breathe in the sea air, because of her frail constitution.
The view from both the master bedroom and the tower room was spectacular, since it over looked the cliff and the ocean below. I wondered if Hector’s wife would want to look out that window again, after she discovered his wife’s body sprawled on the path, covered in blood.
I wished I had some way to write down my feelings like Claudia had. I assume that Hector gave her writing material to keep her occupied. I wonder if he ever imagined she would write in a diary the truth about her life. But Hector was long gone, along with both of his wives and now only his grandson and his great grandson, remained in the house, to carry on his cruel legacy.
Perhaps my mother hadn’t wanted to marry Aldridge because of the scandal that hovered around his family. Maybe she had learned something of Aldridge’s character, the same way I was discovering Sheldon’s true character. But if that was the case, she never would have made him my Godfather, I reasoned. Maybe it wasn’t Sheldon’s fault he was the way he was, having been raised by Aldridge.
I had finished the book, and was looking out of the window, to the place where Claudia had landed. As I looked down, I saw Sheldon, Tamara, Vance, and Chandra, walking below. Vance glanced up, and saw my head sticking out of the window, watching them. He waved at me, and I waved back. Sheldon looked up too, when he saw Vance wave, and he did not look happy to see me looking down on them. Then all of them continued walking along the cliff path, to the other end of the property.
An hour later, I could hear the key turn in the door, and Sheldon entered with a loaf of bread and a picture of water, along with a glass, which he sat down on the bedside table. I started to reach for it, since I hadn’t eaten or had anything to drink all day.
Sheldon stayed my hand. “Not until after I leave,” he warned. “When I am through doing the missionary position with you, I will rest a bit, until I am ready to do it again,” he told me.
He pulled my dress up over my head, and put me on my back. I lay still until he had finished. Then he remained pinning me to the bed, until he was able to start all over again. This time it took much longer, and he was frustrated.
“I think you broke me,” he growled.
“Maybe it was Tamara that broke you,” I spit at him. “You probably don’t have enough in you to do the tests with two girls!”
At that Sheldon slapped me. “You aren’t even worth the time it takes to feed you,” he muttered.
Sheldon left, and I used some of the water to wash me. Finally I began eating the bread, but it was the bread that the cook usually threw out for the chickens, and it had spots of mold on it, and otherwise was dry and crumbly. I sank down on the bed, and went to sleep, since there wasn’t anything else to do. The sound of the key in the door woke me. The room was dark, but it lit up, when Sheldon came in with a candle.
“I brought a surprise for you,” he told me. I blinked, and then I saw he had someone with him. “The groom told me he was lonely, and since you are liable to break me again, and I don’t care what kind of bastard child you end up having, I thought I would give you a taste of what it is going to be like, if
I decide to take you out on the street to find customers.”
“No,” I cried, as the leering eyes of the groom glared at me.
“He likes em young, don’t you Jim?” Sheldon chuckled. “Show him what you got, Floriana. Don’t be shy.”
“You can’t do this!” I rebelled. “I come from a respectable family!”
“But I don’t consider you very respectable, so you can stop putting on airs. I will hold you down, if I have to,” Sheldon told me. “It would be a lot easier if you just let him do what he needs to do, while I watch on. I liked watching my father doing it with that servant. I want to see it real close up. I might even help, if I get in the mood too.”
The groom looked anxious, as he started unfastening the front of his trousers.
“You take her first, to lubricate her for me,” Sheldon, said to Jim.
Sheldon pushed me down on the bed, lifting my nightgown away, holding my arms, while Jim mounted me. When Jim was finished, Sheldon took his place, laughing when I tried spitting at him. It seemed to excite Sheldon even more, when he knew I was angry, and his movements sped up. “Guess I’m not broken after all,” he grinned.
Jim smiled at me showing black and missing teeth.
“Give us a kiss,” he insisted, “I think I’m ready for my second go,” he leered, once Sheldon was panting, and removing himself from me. Jim plunged in for a second time, and then put his slobbery mouth over mine. “Don’t bite now or I will have to pinch you,” Jim said, taking one of my breasts between his fingers.
Jim continued to work at bringing himself to an end, and his mouth slobbered over me, nipping me with what teeth he had if I didn’t cooperate the way he expected me to. When I whimpered, he would pinch whatever tender part of me he could find. Sheldon laughed at my torture, and I could tell he was enjoying this more than he had enjoyed giving me tests that brought on pleasure, instead of pain.
Finally Jim found his finish, and panted that he was used up, but appreciated it. Sheldon opened the door and let him leave, locking it again.
“No more looking out the window, when we are around,” Sheldon said to me. “Vance asked about you, and I told him you were not feeling well, and would be confined to the tower for a while. He told me he had invited you to Tamara’s birthday party, but I told him you probably wouldn’t be able go.” I just stared at him, not speaking. “Next time you try getting Vance’s attention, I will bring more than just the groom to try your wears,” he threatened. “I might even bring up the dog, and let him try you.”
I started to shake. My life was not going to get any better, I realized.
I could barely move, when I woke the next morning. I had a bitter taste in my mouth, and the water was all gone. I had used some of it to wash Jim and Sheldon’s smell from me, but Sheldon had not brought me any more water to drink. I wondered if there was any way to get Vance’s attention, but I feared what Sheldon would do, if I tried.
Sheldon had not come that morning, like I expected he would, and when I looked out the window, I could see the four of them were out on the moor, riding horses, along the cliff edge, away from the house. I looked at the sheet, and the top cover spread out on the bed. Suddenly, I began ripping the sheet up in wide strips and tying the strips together. I just hoped they would reach far enough down the tower, for me to make it close enough to the bottom where I wouldn’t break my leg, if I had to jump. I sat on the window seat, and pushed open the panes. I put my makeshift roop out the window, and kept adding a new strip, until I could see it reached far enough.
I put my dress on, and felt the card Vance had given me, in my pocket. I looked down at the card between my fingers. It had his address on it, but I wasn’t sure if I should risk going to his home. I knew I looked a mess, and if anyone saw me, they would surely try to avoid me.
I pulled my boots on and used the button hook Sheldon had left there for my use. My feet had gotten used to wearing them without stockings, and calluses had formed where the blisters once were. I put my cloak around my shoulders and tied it at the neck. Then I dangled my feet out the window, held onto the makeshift rope, and hoped the strips would hold my weight. But even if they didn’t, I believed it would be a better end than remaining there.
CHAPTER SEVEN
My feet finally touched the path, and I let out a breath of relief. I could hear noises in the distance, and I saw Sheldon and the others were returning to the house. I waited until I was out of their line of view, and then I started scrambling down the side of the cliff, hanging onto rocks as I made my way to the beach below. I knew I could not follow the road. As soon as Sheldon discovered I had escaped, he would be out on the only road leading to and from Heather Ridge House, looking for me. I vowed I would never return to this place again.
I had been there for almost two months, and I wondered if that was long enough for the sickness to leave the city? If so, I would return to my house, and stay there, until I could decide what to do.
Once I reached the shore line, I took my boots off and walked in the sand in my bare feet, staying close to the cliff, so no one from above could see me or my footprints. It was a lot easier, and the sand felt good between my toes. I vowed I would never get married, or be friends with another man, for as long as I lived. I decided men could not be trusted, and besides, Sheldon had ruined me. No man would want me now anyway, I admitted to myself.
I tried to put it all behind me. I was thirsty and hungry. I felt weak, and it was starting to get dark, so I found shelter against the rock cliff. I fell into an exhausted sleep, wrapped tightly in my cloak. Suddenly, my eyes flew open, as I felt water splashing over my feet. I couldn’t see anything, but I knew the tide had come in, and it was right up to the cliff. If I remained there, I would probably drown. I began climbing up the cliff, but it was dark, and I couldn’t see. I had to feel my way, and it took me a long time, before I found a cubbyhole in the side of the cliff, where I could push myself back, and hope the waves did not reach up that high.
I could hear the waves crashing below me, as though they too, wanted my destruction. I decided that in the morning I would finish climbing the cliff, if I had enough strength to do it. I figured I was far enough down the beach, that coming back up to the moor, would not put me in danger of being found by Sheldon. Besides, the cliff was quite a ways from the road, and I would be able to see and hear anyone approaching long before they ever noticed me. The thought comforted and frightened me at the same time, but I knew it was my only hope of getting back to the city alive.
By morning, I was stiff and sore, not only on the outside, but the inside as well. I wondered if Sheldon or Jim had torn me inside, because I hurt so much. I started bleeding, and I hoped it was my course come, that was causing the bleeding. If so, I knew I was not going to have any of Sheldon, or Jim’s bastard children. God had saved me from that trial, anyway. I wondered why, though? God should hate me by now, and not give me any small blessings.
I made it to the top of the cliff an inch at a time, chipping my fingernails and scraping the pads of my fingers against the rough rocks. Finally, I sat in the grass, at the cliff’s edge as the blood of my course seeped into it, trying to figure out how I was going to soak the blood up, so it didn’t run down my legs? I saw something in the distance, and it looked familiar, but it was close to the wall that bordered the road, and I didn’t know if I should risk going that close to the road, to retrieve it.
The bleeding had let up some, so I started walking again, towards the object. Then I was sure I had been right, when I had suspected what it was. It was my satchel! The old man must have tossed it out of his wagon, over the wall, when he saw it had nothing in it but girl’s clothes.
I stumbled to it, and picked it up. It still felt heavy, but it was damp from the rain, and dew over the time it had been laying there and I wondered if anything inside was still dry? But even if it wasn’t, those clothes would be better than the servant dress I was wearing, and they would dry eventually.
I looked in
side, and almost cried from joy when I saw my familiar belongings. I took off the dress I was wearing and tore it up to make a pad to wear, tying the ends up to a strip of material I ripped to go around my waist. Then I put on my clean pantaloons. I even put on stockings, but I didn’t have anything to tie them up with, so I just rolled them down below my knee, since my skirt would cover them anyway. There wasn’t an extra petticoat, but I didn’t care, as I pulled my yellow dress over my head, twirling in glee at my luck at finding my belongings. I found my button hook inside the satchel, so I could put my boots back on, which I had tucked under my arm. I buttoned up my boots again, and I almost looked brand new, except for my tangled hair, and I am sure my face was covered in dirt. Now what I would give for a drink of water, I thought.
I started walking along the outside of the rock wall. If I heard anyone coming, I decided I would lie down along the wall until they passed. But this time, I did not have any food to eat, and it was two more days walk before I returned to the city. I hoped they had not quarantined the city, because then, I didn’t know what I would do. At least it was not raining, nor did it show any signs of rain. I felt myself lucky for better weather.
The morning dew, glistened on the grass, and I knelt down and started licking against the strands. It tasted gritty, but it was wet, and I continued to lick the grass until I felt a little refreshed. Then I started walking along the wall, in the direction of the city. Like before, no one passed me either direction. I decided either Sheldon didn’t care that I had escaped, or he had already been down the road and could not find me.
I had taken Vance’s card that had been in my servant dress pocket, and put it in my yellow dress pocket. I pulled it out and looked at it. Before, I hadn’t bothered to look at the address, since I had no intentions of going to where Vance lived. But now I took in my breath. Vance lived in the same city I did. This frightened me though, because if Sheldon ever went to the city to visit Tamara, I might end up running into him.
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