“I have to take you away from here!” Conner growled under his breath. “You are not safe! We must go to Giller’s estate. No one would ever think of looking for you there. Giller is beside himself with worry. You know he wants to marry you. Let him have his wish, Florianna. You need a husband to protect you.”
“I could never put such a hardship on Mr. Giller,” I insisted. “Besides now, my very appearance would bring shame upon him, not to mention the fact that I could have gotten a baby, for what was done to me.”
“He wouldn’t care, Floriana. Believe me, he is an honorable man.”
“Then he deserves better than me,” I said firmly. “I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
“Very well, but we will still go to his estate. It is the only place to go, since I have nothing to offer you, at the moment. Once things settle down, you could purchase a home in the country, if you wish. You don’t have to return to the city again, if you don’t wish to.”
Connor, picked me up in his arms, and carried me to his buggy, in spite of my protests. “We will leave as soon as possible,” he told me. “No one should know that we ever found you! I shall have Giller take you, while I remain behind, to close up the townhouse and have your belongings sent on to Giller’s estate on the east coast.” There was no arguing with Connor, so I was forced to go along with his plans.
As soon as I got dressed, Mr. Giller was whisking me away in his hired carriage, sitting beside me, with his arm over my shoulder, as though to protect me from something unknown. “You have to listen to reason,” Mr. Giller whispered in my ear. “I could protect you from people like Sheldon. I know you don’t know me, but you must accept my offer of marriage.”
“I can’t put you in a position to carry my burden,” I insisted. I knew he was doing it out of some felt obligation because he had wanted to marry me before my face became disfigured. “Did Conner tell you what happened to me?” I asked.
“He only said someone attacked you. I don’t care about your scar,” he insisted.
But I knew he did not know the extent of my scars, and once he learned, even if he still insisted on my marrying him, because he had already offered, he would regret his impulsive actions, and pity me, while not wanting me to be anything but a wife in name only. Beside I could be with a child, and that would even be a bigger burden, once it was discovered. I stood firm on my refusal for Mr. Giller to marry me.
It took two weeks to reach Mr. Giller’s estate. We stopped along the way at various inns, and Mr. Giller got us separate rooms. He insisted I call him Gill, and we started to become good friends, at least. I could tell he was disappointed in my decision not to allow him to save me with marriage, but at least I now had a friend, and as soon as Connor arrived I would tell him that he didn’t have to remain my guardian, if he didn’t wish to. I would still have my governess and maid, who were going to come with Connor, and I could do perfectly well without him, considering Sheldon did not know what had happened to me, once Jim was finished with me.
Maybe Vance would come and visit me, I thought. I would write him, so he wouldn’t worry about me, I decided. We had become such close friends, and he hadn’t wanted Tamara to marry Sheldon either, once I told him about Sheldon compromising his sister, and his treatment of me. But Vance had several more months of school before he would be able to leave, and come see me. Until then, I would have to rely on Gill’s hospitality. If Connor knew Gill was looking out for me, he wouldn’t have to remain as my guardian any longer, I reasoned.
Gill had a huge estate. He must have had a lot more wealth than I had, I thought, as I looked down on his sprawling Manor, from our vantage point on the highroad, overlooking the east coast, where Gill’s estate was situated.
He proudly gave me a tour of the house, once we arrived, and it was filled with treasures of art, and sculptures, not to mention the fine furnishings, gold handled doors, sheer silk drapes, and oriental rugs, almost forests of house plants, marble floors, and cherry wood wainscot woodwork. Carved ceilings decorated each room, and chandeliers, dripping in crystal, hung on suspended chains. There was room, after room of wonders. Libraries with shelves of books from floor to ceiling, a music room with grand piano, harp, and other instruments set on stands. The ball room, with mirrored walls, several chandeliers, and hardwood floors stretching across the room, spoke of the splendor a ball would present, if thrown there.
I could barely speak, as we walked together, my hand in his elbow, as he described the significance of each room, picture on the wall, or decoration, as we passed it. He told of his ancestry and how he became heir to the estate. When he was finished, I knew I did not belong here as his wife to mar the beauty of his surroundings, with my disfigured face, and secret dealings with Sheldon. I was glad I had turned down his offer.
Two weeks later, Connor arrived with my belongings, Miss Parker, and Sally. By then, I had gotten used to my surroundings, and enjoyed Gill’s constant attention. We had gone horseback riding over his estate together, as he presented acres and acres of countryside, that bordered the ocean. We rode in the surf, and I laughed in glee as the spray washed over our horses and ourselves. At night, Gill taught me to play chess and cards, and I prided myself at becoming good at the game of cards. Gill seemed proud of me, as well. The scar on my face had healed, and was a mere pink mark along the edge of my hairline. I could cover it with my curls, if I wished to hide it, but for some reason, I refused to do so, and showed it like a badge of honor. I knew I was doing it to remind Gill he could not possibly want to marry me, regardless of his claims otherwise.
When Connor came in, he grabbed me up in his arms and swung me around, laughing that he was so happy to see me looking so well. He finally placed me on the floor, and kissed my cheek, which was disfigured. He made it a point to kiss my scar, but I pulled away. As soon as everyone was settled in, I would give him his freedom to leave, so he wouldn’t have to worry about his responsibility towards me, any longer. He would be free to live his life as he pleased, and move from place to place, like he was used to doing, I told myself.
“Sheldon came looking for you,” Conner told me when we were alone in Gill’s study, in order to talk about my future plans. “He said he heard you had gotten hurt. I asked him what he knew of you getting hurt, because we could not find you. It seemed to frighten him, when I said that. He assured me, you could not be dead, and that we should send out a search party. I told him we had already done that and that if he knew anything about what had happened to you, he had better confess. I was hoping to trap him, but he turned away, and said he must have gotten unreliable information about you being hurt. But now he was worried that we could not find you. Let him worry that you have died, and that I shall accuse him of the deed when your body is found. At least now he will no longer plague you.”
“Which is why I have decided that you no longer need to remain my guardian,” I said, happy he had told me about not having to worry about Sheldon any longer.
“What are you talking about? I am to remain your guardian until you become of age, or get married. Since you refuse to get married, I am destined to remain by your side, until you are of age. I fear you are stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”
“But I know how you despise the task,” I revealed.
“What are you talking about? What makes you think I despise the task?” Connor asked.
“I know I am keeping you from living the life you wish to live. I am tying you down, just as a marriage would tie you down,” I insisted.
To my surprise, Conner gathered me in his arms and held me to him. “Never think that, my little ward. I agreed to the task, and I shall see it through to the end. I need to know you are safe, before I ever leave your side.”
I tried to pull away from his encompassing grasp, but he wouldn’t allow me to do so. He continued to hold me against him, telling me not to worry about him. I was the important person to be concerned with, and he would hear no more talk about him leaving his responsib
ility, until it was time for him to give it up.
In that moment, I knew I really didn’t want him to leave me. I had felt bad that he had to sacrifice his freedom to be my guardian, but I didn’t know what I would do if he ever stopped being my guardian. I even wondered how I would bear it, once I became of age? Living without Connor being there to rely on, was a thought I hadn’t wanted to contemplate, even when I was willing to give him his freedom.
I felt my arms holding against him as well. “Then don’t ever leave me,” I begged. “Say you will always watch over me!”
Connor did not answer, as we sat there holding on to each other. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but he did not let go of me, for a very long time.
Life settled back to normal, only now we were living at Gill’s estate, instead of my town house. My days were spent studying my lessons, playing the piano, riding horses, enjoying the grounds, playing chess with either Gill or Connor, and trying to forget about Sheldon and Jim, for that matter. Once again, God had saved me from getting a baby, and if nothing else, I appreciated God, allowing me that one small favor.
Conner told me, that after my sixteenth birthday, I would no longer need a governess, and when my birthday came, we would let Miss Parker go. I knew I would miss her, but I would not miss the lessons. Sally would remain, though.
I had been writing Vance, while he was at school, and he promised, that he would come visit me, at the end of the school year, since the break would be longer then. He was taking law, and had a few more years to go. I actually looked forward to seeing him again. I was also anxious to know how Sheldon and Tamara were getting along. Maybe Sheldon had really loved Tamara after all, and once Heather Ridge House was restored to its former glory, they would become acceptable to society again, and Tamara could live a normal happy life, raising her child, and being Sheldon’s wife.
Connor wanted to give me a birthday party, on my sixteenth birthday, because it was the age, when I would have come out, had I been living a normal life. Then I would be ready for young men competing for my hand. Being the heiress that I was, would have been the draw that would attract them all, but I knew that was never going to happen now, and I told Conner I did not wish to have a birthday party, seeing as how I knew no one where Gill’s estate was at, and no one knew me. Besides, since I had no plans of getting married to anyone, including his good friend Gill, I did not need a celebration.
Instead, Gill presented me with a horse of my own, for a birthday present. It was a lovely cream colored mare, with a long flowing mane, and tail. I named her Lady. Lady had a wonderful gate, and large soft eyes. Her pink nose nuzzled against my shoulder, when Gill presented her to me, and I threw my arms around Gill’s neck and kissed his cheek, to show my appreciation. Gill looked pleased at me, when I did that, and I knew he was hoping I would change my mind about marrying him. Had my life been different, perhaps I would have married Gill, but my life was too complicated, and I still had to decide about what to do with my houses in the city, and then, perhaps look for a house in the country.
Connor gave me a book of poetry. He knew I liked to read, and when he had to remain in bed because of getting shot, I often read to him from his own poetry books. I treasured Connor’s gift, as much as I treasured the horse Gill had given me, because Connor chose it for me special, and he knew how much I enjoyed poetry.
He had given it to me, in the evening, long after Gill had given me the horse, which I had ridden out on, with both Conner and Gill earlier that afternoon. Gill had gone up to bed, Miss Parker had already left, wishing me luck for my future, and Conner and I had been playing chess together in the parlor.
“You always know what I want and need,” I said, kindly to him. “I don’t know what I will ever do without you, once I become of age.”
“There is no need to worry about that now,” Connor smiled. “Just rest assured that I will be with you for as long as time permits.”
I smiled at him, and leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he must not have been anticipating it, because he turned to say something to me, at that very moment, and I ended up kissing his lips instead. For one confused moment, I paused, but then I felt Connor’s lips move beneath mine, and he returned the kiss. A moment later, he pulled away.
“Please forgive me for that,” he said, sounding ruffled. “I hope I didn’t upset you.”
“It was my fault,” I took the blame. “I know you weren’t expecting my kiss.”
“I had better go up to bed,” he said abruptly, and stood up. “Happy Birthday, Floriana,” he mumbled.
I watched him leave the room. I felt embarrassed for putting him such a position. He must think I was being a tart, and wanted something from him, he was not prepared, nor willing to give me, I thought in shame. Now I had disgraced myself, and Connor thought worse of me than he probably did already.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Vance had written and told me he planned to come see me. I informed Connor, and when I did, his eyes turned a dark green, and his brows pulled together, and he stared at me, as though he could not believe what I was saying.
“You allowed Vance to know where you were?” he asked in shock. “Do you not realize that his sister is married to Sheldon? Sheldon thinks you are dead. Now he will learn you are still alive, and where you are located. Is there not a brain in that head of yours? I thought you were smarter than that!”
My eyes widened at his sudden anger. “Vance would never breathe a word of it to Sheldon,” I defended. “He knows how I felt about Sheldon. He knows I was trying to keep his sister from marrying him.”
“You have been writing to him all this time?” Connor demanded. “Why haven’t you told me about it?”
“I didn’t think it was important. Vance is my good friend. You said yourself that he was a possible choice for a husband. I didn’t think you would care.” But the truth of it was, I knew Connor would not like me risking writing to Vance, and so I never told him. Only now, I knew I could trust Vance, and that Vance still loved me as a friend.
“That was before this business of having your face cut, and needing to get you as far away from Heather Ridge House as possible. Hadn’t you even thought of that? As it is, he could have informed his sister of where you had moved during the time he was writing you, and she could have informed Sheldon. Is that what you want? After all the trouble Giller and I have gone to in order to keep you safe, and then you just toss it all aside, as though nothing matters?”
I had never seen Connor so angry before, except when he discovered what Jim had done to me, when he found me at my parent’s house. But then, he was not angry at me, except that I had gone out alone. Now he seemed furious with me. “You are worrying over nothing,” I said stubbornly. “Sheldon would be stupid to try and come all the way out here to find me. He is married, with a child by now, and I am under the protection of both you and Gill. He has his house and Tamara’s wealth. What more would he want from me?”
“It seems he wanted more when he sent someone out to disfigure you, and you want to take that chance again?”
“Vance is my friend. He would never let anything happen to me, nor would he inform Sheldon of my whereabouts,” I insisted.
“You had better pray that is the case,” Connor said, and strode off, making me feel guilty for ever inviting Vance to come see me.
The day the carriage pulled up, I ran out to greet it, as Vance stepped down, looking older and handsomer than I remembered him to be. He hugged me to him, and before I realized it, he was kissing me, telling me how much he missed me.
“I loved receiving your letters,” he whispered against my lips. Then his eyes went to my scar, and he made a little gasp.
Then, it seemed, to cover up his moment of shock, he kissed me again. I should have pulled away from his kisses, but I was so happy to see him, and so upset at Connor for doubting him, that I kissed him back, and that seemed to please him.
“I brought you a surprise,” he said softly, and I gave him a questi
oning look. It was then that I noticed that someone else was in the carriage with him. “When I told Chandra I was coming to see you, she insisted I bring her with me. She has missed you, Floriana, so I let her come.”
I took in my breath. Now Sheldon’s sister would know where I was, and Conner would be even angrier at me. “I thought I told you that no one should know where I was, or that I was alive,” I whispered if fright. “Don’t you remember the things I wrote you about?”
“I didn’t tell anyone where you were. No one knows but Chandra and myself that you are even alive.”
“But everyone will know now!” I bellowed, stepping back from Vance.
“I would never tell,” Chandra piped up. “Jim bragged to Sheldon what he had done to you, and I overheard him. I don’t think Sheldon wanted him to hurt you. He only wanted Jim to frighten you. I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for how my father, and Sheldon, along with Jim have treated you. Sheldon treated Tamara almost as bad, only he never locked her in the tower.”
“That is one of the reasons I wanted to come see you,” Vance said, pulling me back to him. “Tamara is dead, Floriana,” he choked. “She died in child birth. The baby died as well, but I don’t believe that is how she died. Chandra claims she fell down the stairs, and it brought on the baby, and both of their deaths. She was afraid to remain at Heather Ridge House. Sheldon had been in a rage, because he couldn’t get any information about what happened to you. Jim assured him that he had not killed you, but no one knew where you were. Sheldon was taking his anger out on everyone. That is another reason I brought Chandra with me. I wanted you to keep her safe. If Sheldon suspects she knows anything about what happened to you, or knows about Tamara falling down the stairs while arguing with Sheldon, no telling what would happen to her. There is nothing my father can do to prove Sheldon harmed his wife in some way, and even if he could, a wife is chattel, and a husband is allowed to discipline her however he chooses. If it results in her death, not many questions are asked by the authorities.”
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