When the clock struck ten, Violet walked into the garden to await Romulus. She was surprised to find him already seated on the bench, his legs stretched before him and his hands propped behind his head as he watched the passing clouds, obviously lost in thought.
“Is it too early to talk about love?” she asked, casting him a hesitant smile. She took a seat beside him and opened her book where they’d left off yesterday.
He appeared relieved to see her, for he responded with a warm smile of his own. “Never too early for that. Shall we talk about last night first?”
“Which travesty would you like to discuss? Shall we start with Lady Withnall? Lady Felicia? Or Lord Forester?”
He winced. “I’d like to shoot all three of them out of my ship’s cannons and watch them drop straight into the ocean.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
He sat up straighter. “Violet, I won’t deny there was more between Lady Felicia and myself in the past. It was never anything serious, for she fully intended to marry the Marquis of Herringdon.”
“But she’s a widow now, and from what I hear, wealthy. She is free to marry whomever she chooses. This time, she can marry for love.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Felicia loves herself more than she can ever love any man. More important, I would never offer for her.”
“You wouldn’t? Why not?” Violet did not doubt him, but she was curious as to his reluctance.
“A thousand reasons. She would demand separate sleeping quarters, for one.”
“Isn’t this customary? Am I not the one out of step with such arrangements?” She tipped her head up and looked at him with some confusion.
“Yes, you are delightfully out of step. But so am I. This is what I would want in a marriage, a wife who wishes to sleep in my arms. A wife who would never consider taking on other lovers to stem her boredom.”
“Romulus,” she said with a roll of her eyes, “I don’t think any woman would ever find you boring.”
“Now, see…” He leaned forward so that they were almost nose to nose. “This is why I would choose you over her always. You may decide that I am boring once you get to know me better, but you would not respond by turning your back on the marriage and discreetly, or not so discreetly, taking on other lovers.”
“What do you think I would do?” She knew she was young and inexperienced, but the possibility of giving her body to other men? It wasn’t done in the Farthingale family. She couldn’t imagine herself breaking this tradition.
He cupped her face gently in his big hand. “You would find a way to make me less boring. Or you would accept me for the dolt I am. The point is, you are capable of caring for others and placing their needs before yours. Of course, being a pig-headed, prideful male, I would want to be the one sacrificing to make you happy, not the other way around.”
“Would you really?”
“Yes.” He dropped his hand and eased slightly back. “But I suppose you’ll just have to trust me on that. Violet, let’s get back to the book.”
“Very well.” She opened it to where they’d left off. “We stopped yesterday at the five senses. The strength of this book is teaching us to really see each other, and hear each other, and so on. So, let’s start with the sense of sight. What do you see when you look at me?”
“Someone very pleasing to the eye.” He grinned. “But I think we’ve already established that low brain response.”
She nodded. “So on to looking at me with your higher brain function.”
He chuckled. “Assuming I have one. Well, here goes…you have the loveliest eyes I’ve ever seen. Violet…”
“Yes?”
He shook his head. “I just mean that they’re violet in color. They’re intelligent eyes. That’s why they sparkle. Otherwise, they’d be dull. You have nice lips. I look forward to tasting them, but I’m jumping ahead a few chapters, aren’t I? That’s my low brain taking over again.”
He cleared his throat and continued. “You are beautiful in a sweet, warm way. I like that, because it means you can also be silly and fun. You don’t care if your hair isn’t always perfect.”
She gasped and put her hands to her hair. “Is it falling out of its pins already?”
“No.” He laughed.
She cast him a sheepish grin. “It appears I am vain.”
“It will take much more than worrying about your hair to make you vain. We all wish to look presentable in company. But if the wind were to gust and make those pins fall out of your hair, you’d probably laugh and simply accept it.”
She nodded. “There is nothing one can do against the wind other than don a hat and hope it stays on.”
“A vain person would be angry with the brazen wind for making them less than perfect.”
“Ah, well that is not a problem for me. I already know I am less than perfect.” She cast him an impish grin.
He regarded her unsmiling, but after a moment, his severe expression lightened. “I think you are closer to perfect than you imagine.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Well, that’s a big step forward. Truth is, I am very far from it. But if you believe I am, then we have made great strides. This is what The Book of Love says is most important. My goal is to become your ideal woman. Others may find me lacking, but it is your opinion of me that matters. But do you mean it, Romulus? I heard you tell Lady Felicia I’m not your usual type.”
“You aren’t. The comment you overheard was about my poor judgement, not about your lack in any way. But that’s all in the past and ought to remain buried there, never to be dug up again.”
She laughed. “Goodness, now I’m curious to know what you did back then. My past was exceedingly dull.” She laughed again. “Nothing in the least scandalous or exciting until those bees came along.”
“Ah, yes. I was warned about the Chipping Way curse and chose to ignore it. This is how we had to meet. Nothing tame or polite would do.”
“Far better than being introduced at a ball, I think. I doubt you would have remembered me among the crush of guests. Not when so many debutantes were being shoved at you all at once.” Of course, she would have remained in raptures over him. But so would every other young lady who met him.
“Had we been introduced in a crowded ballroom, would you have signed my dance card? Or spent time talking to me?” she asked, somehow thinking he would not have done either. More likely, he would have run to the card room and hidden there all evening with his bachelor friends, imbibing brandy or champagne, and commiserating over their misfortune to be hunted like wild boar.
He seemed to read her mind. “I would have noticed you. I would have remembered you. It is even possible I would have dreamed of you for nights afterward. But I would not have pursued you. At least, not yet.”
She nodded in agreement. “I didn’t think so. You’ve hardly had a moment to enjoy your bachelorhood.”
“Ah, yes. Setting up my own household. Being on my own to do as I wish, not answering to anyone but myself. I was looking forward to that.”
“Until me.”
“The bees weren’t your fault. I could have listened to the warning about the Chipping Way curse and purchased a house elsewhere. I didn’t want to. I liked General Allworthy’s house. Something about it called to me.” He shrugged. “Perhaps it was the beautiful Farthingale I was told lived next door.”
She laughed. “You had no idea I existed when you offered to purchase the house.”
He shrugged again. “I knew of the possibility of you.”
“Warned of the possibility of meeting your doom is more like it.”
“No. I was intrigued by the possibility of love.”
She clasped the book a little tighter, needing to hold onto something sturdy as her heart began to beat faster. His words sounded quite romantic, but how could they be?
“I did not expect it to slam into me so soon, but I was not afraid of it. Had Lady Withnall not been there as I slathered vinegar all over your body, I mig
ht have remained unattached a little while longer. Pretended you did not affect me.”
“But you just said you would have avoided me at the upcoming social affairs. Not signed my dance card. Not courted me.”
He nodded. “Remaining unattached for now was my plan. But plans are often dashed. I’ve never been in love. I’ve never even had a youthful infatuation. But that doesn’t mean I disdain it. I always held out the hope of finding the one person who would brighten my heart.”
Was he suggesting she was the one?
She didn’t believe it.
If anything, he was convincing himself that she had to be the one because fate and the Chipping Way curse had willed it.
“Being alone is not as glamorous as it appears. I realized it almost immediately. My house is a mess. It has yet to be cleaned. I have very little furniture. And the only young woman I’ve brought there has been you.” He grunted, shook his head, and then chuckled. “The movers adored you. They were enraptured by your singing and your family’s thoughtfulness. They congratulated me on my good taste in a wife. I didn’t bother to correct them. There was no point since we will be married soon anyway.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Are you admitting defeat already?”
“Not at all. Lady Withnall’s edict may have moved up my plans, but the result would have been the same. Once I’d noticed you…I would never have forgotten you. Violet, my dreams of you would not have lasted a mere few days. You would have haunted them all the nights of my life.”
Her heart took a small leap. “Really?”
He nodded. “Really.”
She sat back, noting that his arm was stretched across the back of the bench. It would take nothing for him to put his arm around her.
She would like to be in his arms.
But he would not reach for her while they were in view of everyone inside the Farthingale house. “May I ask you something?”
He tipped his head in a curt nod. “Certainly.”
“What is it about me that would make me memorable to you?”
“First, and this is speaking only from my low brain, you are stunning.” He slid her a sideways glance and smiled. “Now, speaking from my high brain, you are stunning on the inside as well. In truth, I don’t think you appreciate just how lovely you are in every way.”
She blushed. “That is nonsense. There are dozens far prettier and more accomplished than me.”
“Not in my eyes, and we know from that book,” he said, nodding toward the tome she still gripped in her hands, “this is what counts most. It isn’t merely that you are pleasing to the eye. Lord knows you are.” He rolled his own eyes and glanced upward before returning his gaze to her. “I also like that you want to be something more as a person. You said earlier that looks fade over time. But a good heart, intelligence, generosity, those attributes don’t fade.”
Violet listened intently, surprised Romulus was taking their predicament so seriously and reaching deep into his heart for answers. He wasn’t merely asking how do I get out of this mess with my bachelorhood intact? He’d gone beyond it. What do I want out of life? What sort of partner do I wish for?
“This book speaks of the five senses as a means to connect us,” he said, the resonant depth of his voice quite soothing and at the same time exciting. “But we can also connect through common goals and aspirations. Or common likes and dislikes. I think our senses form the bond of our attraction to each other, but it would be our common goals that truly bind us.”
“Are you suggesting we already have strong connections to each other?”
He nodded. “Yes, isn’t it obvious?”
“How?”
She leaned forward, eager to hear his thoughts, because she did not know how a brave and worldly sea captain could have anything in common with a sheltered debutante who felt more comfortable climbing a tree in a country meadow than dancing a waltz in a London ballroom. Why would such a man want anything to do with her? What was their common bond?
“Violet, if your eyes grow any wider, they are going to roll out of their sockets.”
“I can’t help it. You amaze me. Please, do go on. I am very interested to hear what you have to say.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Braydens and Farthingales marry for love. That is one of our strongest connections. We’ve been raised to respect the sanctity of marriage. Another connection is that we both come from large, meddlesome families.”
She laughed. “Oh, dear. Is yours as bad as mine?”
“Possibly worse. You haven’t met my Aunt Miranda yet. There is no one quite like her, and I’m not sure I mean it as compliment. I love her, of course. But she can be quite scary, at times. Even Lady Withnall would cringe in fear.”
Violet clapped her hands. “I adore her already!”
Romulus gave a hearty laugh, but after a moment, he turned serious. “Braydens are faithful to their spouses. I don’t know what you thought was happening between me and Lady Felicia last night, but it is important for you to know that for my part, nothing was happening. Nor will it ever happen with Felicia or any other woman. It isn’t the Brayden way. It isn’t my way.”
She nodded. “I hope you know it is the same with Farthingales. We are faithful to our spouses. I’m not sure how we prove it to each other except over time.”
“Some things must be taken on faith, Violet. We’ve had good examples to follow. Big, loving families. That is our common connection, and it is a very good start.”
She closed the book and set it aside, then folded her hands on her lap. “How else are we connected? You are a sea captain, used to commanding sailors and doing battle. I am no one of consequence. I’m not saying it to belittle myself. It is a simple fact. I’ve done nothing of importance in my life. And honestly, you do not look like the sort of man who really needs a woman to support him or to help him make something of himself. I think this is what troubles me most. I am inconsequential to your life. But you would be very important to mine.”
“You are looking at it all wrong, Violet. I don’t need you handing me cannonballs in the heat of battle or hoisting mainsails. What a man looks for in a wife…I’m not quite sure how to explain it.” He ran a hand through his hair in obvious consternation as he struggled to find the right words.
She waited quietly, watching in fascination as he collected his thoughts. Indeed, she marveled at the care and determination he was putting into their situation.
“What a man needs…is a reason to be. Why am I on the high seas tackling pirates? Why do I bother with civility or etiquette when I’m home or out in Society? If only men existed, we’d all be sitting about a campfire drinking ale until we passed out. We’d live in caves and fight over everything and nothing, because men always fight unless they’re held back for reasons more important to them.”
He reached out and tucked a finger under her chin. “A man adopts civility in order to make a better world for his family. His children, his wife. Even those meddlesome relatives he wishes would go away and leave him in peace.”
“I had no idea you were a soldier and a philosopher.”
“I hadn’t thought of myself that way. But yes, I suppose. When asked who I am, I don’t think of myself merely as a captain in the Royal Navy. Nor do I think of myself as the brother of an earl. When asked the question who am I, I may respond by stating my military rank. That’s the easy answer I would give in casual conversation. But it is only a small part of me. Who am I is more about my character and my goals in life.”
He released her and leaned back once more. “When James returned from war so badly injured, I grew mad at the world. I was also angry with him. Why did he go off to fight? He could have paid someone to take his commission. Other noblemen did and thought nothing of it.”
“He is a Brayden, so he wouldn’t. That is his noble character.”
Romulus nodded. “The war almost destroyed him. If not for Sophie, I don’t think he would be alive today. She is why he wakes up each morning rea
dy to experience the new day. What she offers him is something not easily definable. Truly, I can’t explain it. But when I look at you, I see that same quality.”
She put a hand to her heart, for this was no longer a lighthearted discussion or even a moderately serious one. It had taken a leap to something quite profound. “Romulus, surely you jest.”
“Not at all. I don’t know what it is about you, Violet. I just know that if you were in my life, it would be a good life. A happy one.” He groaned lightly. “Oh, hell. Why aren’t you breathing?”
He was watching her, so he noticed her eyes begin to water. He groaned again. “Are you going to cry?”
“No, of course not. Even if I do, it is only because your words overwhelm me.” She wiped a stray tear as it trickled onto her cheek. “I’ve had gentlemen tell me I’m pretty. I’ve heard it for years now. Perhaps I should have taken it as a compliment, but inside I always wondered, so what? What else am I? A vase is pretty. A flower is pretty. But what you said just now about Sophie’s influence on your brother’s life, this is what I hope to be. This is what I’d like to mean to someone. To be needed, to be looked upon as someone’s reason to be. Now that is the best compliment anyone can receive.”
She wiped away another tear. “Romulus, I know we’re only on our second full day. But must we wait?”
“To marry?”
Her heart was in a rampant, roaring beat as she nodded. “Yes. Will you marry me?” As the import of her own words struck her, she gasped. “Oh, dear! Never mind. Forget I said any such thing. I was swept away in the moment.” In all her life, she’d never dreamed she would be the one proposing to a man. But how could she not after what he’d just told her?
He laughed. “I’m flattered, but if you will recall, I asked you first. You refused, and my response was Miss Farthingale, your answer cannot be a rejection of my offer.”
He took her hands in his and nudged her to rise along with him. “There is something important we must do before this goes any further.”
“What is that?”
“The kiss. You insisted upon it, if you will recall.”
Regency for all Seasons: A Regency Romance Collection Page 78