I Take It Back

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I Take It Back Page 17

by Liza James


  I turned back, glancing over my shoulder and noticed that Tyler was no longer standing where I had last seen him.

  Chapter 34

  I quickly darted my eyes back and forth across the room, but my movements were slow and lazy as I fought to gain back that control that I had so willingly given up earlier. When I met his face again, he was closer to me, working his way to through the crowd far quicker than I was able to move away.

  Just before he reached me, I felt my back slam up against a hard wall behind me. Not only that, but there was something firm and strong pushing up against the front of me as well.

  Damn, my drunken mind.

  I closed my eyes, focusing my thoughts again before opening them back up and wrapping my arms around whatever was pinning me in place. I realized then it was a hard body and couldn’t miss the tiny bits of black tattoos peeking out under the collar of his shirt.

  Cade had his back pressed to the front of me, his hand had slid behind him and was resting possessively on my thigh. His long fingers snaking around so much of me that my mind immediately imagined them sliding in other places of me. My body tensed instantly, shooting small, quick sparks throughout my limbs at the idea of us being so close. Even drunk, I was annoyed with myself for having that uncontrollable reaction to him.

  Shaking my head, I pushed those X-rated thoughts from my mind as I peeked around his shoulder. Tyler had stopped halfway through the crowd but was giving Cade the coldest glare I had ever seen. Once again, it seemed completely emotionless, void of anything other than ice. He turned his back to us and moved in the opposite direction, seemingly choosing to leave us alone for the time being.

  “Shit, I’m sorry Bambi. Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to push you that hard, I was just trying to get in between the two of you as quickly as I could.” Cade turned around and faced me, keeping me pressed against the wall. His arms were firmly planted on either side of me, creating a small, private bubble where we could talk. We were as alone as we possibly could be at a college party.

  I felt it before it left my mouth. One of those stupid, drunken laughs vibrated in my throat and it flowed out of me.

  “You did. Not. Hurt. Me. Mister,” I said, poking his chest on each word.

  “Woah there sunshine, how much have you drank tonight?” A smile spread across his face but didn’t reach his eyes. Instead, his bright blue eyes were laced with trace amounts of concern.

  “Enough, Daddy.” I reached up and wrapped my hand around his wrist. My fingers didn’t even reach completely around him, but he let me pull his hand off the wall and I snaked out from under his hold.

  “Daddy, huh? Is that a weird, sexual nick name you want to call me? Kind of like how I call you Bambi. You can call me Daddy.” He winked, and I felt the heat rising to my cheeks. Even through the alcohol he could still make me blush.

  I hated him for it.

  And I needed more of it.

  “You wish,” was all I could force out of my throat when I felt his hands slide around my waist and pull me back against him. His hard, defined pecs pressed into my back, and all of a sudden every part of my body was sensitive to his touch. I could feel him everywhere, his fingers pressed into the fabric of my bodysuit, feeling the heat even through my clothes. His cock, probably not even hard, but fully felt against my back, sent my mind swirling with every scenario imaginable in order to get his hands all over me.

  My betraying mind crashed back to reality as Cade leaned in and whispered in my ear as we pushed through the crowd. “Listen, I don’t know why Tyler has this weird obsession with you. But I need you to stay away from him, okay? If you see him anywhere, you go the other way.” His voice was demanding now, pleading with me to listen to him even though my logical mind was clearly inebriated.

  I laughed again. “He’s not obsessed with me. I don’t know what he is, but I am pretty amazing. Hmm, maybe if I call him Daddy Tyler he’ll leave me alone?” I covered my mouth with my hand and giggled again. Cade’s hands tightened on my hips and I felt him tense behind me. In a split second, Cade was in front of me, pulling me lightly behind him until we reached an empty, dark hallway.

  Once again, I found myself being pinned against a wall, Cade’s large muscular arms holding me in place. This time, though, I doubt he’d let me slip away.

  “Aw, is Daddy Cade jealous?” I laughed, looking up and meeting his hard, stormy eyes with my glassy ones. “I promise your hands feel way better than his ever did. Does that make you feel better?”

  Wow, I was seriously drunk.

  “I don’t want to hear about anything you and that piece of shit did before me, okay?” His voice was low, practically a growl as his head dipped and came inches away from mine.

  Instead of shutting my mouth and laying off the snarky comments, I did what my better judgment would have told me not to do. I pushed harder. “Seriously though. His hands never touched me the way yours did. Well, I mean, technically they did touch me like you did, you know the way he slid his fing—” Cade’s hand came up and covered my mouth, physically forcing me to stop talking. His eyes burned a darkness I had never seen, an all-consuming fire blazing within them. His shoulders were tense and I saw slight trembles shaking through his chest.

  What did I do? I laughed. For the millionth time tonight because obviously I felt that was the only reaction I had available. I laughed at fucking everything tonight.

  Damn I was missing the control that alcohol had zapped out of me.

  “Stop it. I’m serious, Emma. I already hear enough from Tyler about how many fucking times he made you come that night, I don’t want to hear that shit from you.” His words pushed through his gritted teeth, and I saw a muscle in his jaw ticking as he spat the words. He used my actual name. Shit must be serious then.

  I stopped in that moment, closing my eyes and doing that trick where I focus every ounce of my energy on acting on my sober thoughts.

  What did he just say? Tyler had made me come?

  “W-What?” Was all I managed to squeak out of my mouth. A lump was starting to form in my throat and I knew that this uneasy feeling, paired with my drunken haze would inhibit my ability to have this serious, rational conversation.

  Buzzkill.

  “You heard me. Tyler won’t fucking shut about how he made you—”

  “He made me what? Come? Listen, if Tyler’s talking about me having an orgasm with him, then he was even more drunk than I remember that night and hooked up with someone else. Because I sure as hell didn’t—” realization dawned on me, sobering me up quicker than a bucket of ice being dumped on my head.

  “Ah, shit,” I said, sucking in my bottom lip and biting down on it hard.

  “What? Tell me. What’s going on?” Cade’s eyes had softened the tiniest bit.

  “I faked it.” I dropped my head out of pure humiliation. I never wanted anyone to know that. That was a serious low point for me, but the fact that Tyler was somehow rubbing that in Cade’s face vetoed any desire I had to keep that a secret.

  The biggest grin I had ever seen came up and overcame Cade’s face, engulfing his eyes and every bit of his body relaxed in front of me. He let out a deep, guttural laugh from down within him and my insides flipped over at the sound of that beautiful noise.

  “No. You’re kidding, right? Fuck I hope you aren’t ... but seriously?” His eyes were wide with hope as he searched me for any signs of deceit.

  “I’m not lying, okay? I faked it. It’s embarrassing, so don’t tell anyone.”

  Just as quickly, his face dropped and worry clouded his features before he spoke. “Wait, if you faked it with him, does that mean you ... Did you fake it with me?”

  Well that was cute. His face instantly contorted with doubt and apprehension. Was he seriously scared that I faked it with him? That was insane, I thought it was obvious. My fake orgasm sounded absolutely nothing like what I had experienced when Cade touched me.

  “Hell no. I never faked it with you. You’re the only one who—�
�� I cut myself off again, the alcohol still bent on causing me to word vomit all of my deepest secrets. No one knew I had never had an orgasm before. Well, other than Sav and apparently Logan.

  “I’m the only one who, what, Bambi?” There’s my familiar nickname again. We must be getting back to familiar territory.

  “Nothing, Cade. Forget about it.” I shifted my gaze back down and broke eye contact. Just the way he looked at me had me saying all sorts of stupid things.

  His hand moved and grasped onto my chin, forcing me to look up at him, his gaze strong and steady into mine as he towered over me. “Tell me.” His voice came out as a demand, and honestly it turned on some sexual switch inside me, once again yearning for his touch against my bare skin.

  “You’re the only one who has ... ah.” I paused, I could barely get the words out. He continued watching intently, though, patiently awaiting my explanation. “You’re the only who has ever made me come before, okay? Happy now?”

  Reaching up, I moved his hand off of my chin so I could look away again. Heat flooded my cheeks, and I knew for a fact that I was blushing a deep, crimson red. I didn’t want to look at him, I was absolutely mortified and figured he must think there was something wrong with me.

  Instead of making me look at him, I felt his warm breath across my ear, his lips grazing across my skin. “You have no idea how that makes me feel, Bambi. Fuck, that is so sexy.” The way his words consumed every part of me left me feeling dizzy. My body reacted to him in such an instinctive, animalistic way and I felt the spark light deep in my core and spread between my thighs.

  “What? That’s definitely not what I was expecting. I didn’t want you to know, I thought you’d think there was something ... something wrong with me,” I said as I mustered the courage to turn back and face him.

  “Something wrong with you? Hell no. The idea that I’m the only guy who can make you completely unravel at my touch, or feel you coming around me? Fuck that makes me want to take you right here, right now.” He rocked his hips forward and I felt his thickness press tight against my belly. A wave of red hot desire surged through my body, shooting straight to my sex.

  In a moment of unfortunate weakness, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and pulling his face toward mine. I knew this choice was going against every single mantra I had been repeating to myself tonight, every thought I had about being done and over Cade. I truly was frustrated and hurt. I spent all of last night sick to my stomach over him. But fuck it. I was drunk and my mind was clearly not making the logical choices right now.

  It was hard to deny the fact that we were magnets to each other, every moment or circumstance bringing us back together and to this exact place. As much as he questioned whether he was good for me, and as much as I worried about the circumstances I found him in last night, at the end of the day, we always ended up back with each other.

  He kissed me with urgency, a different feeling than I had felt between us before. It was like he was hungry for only me and my taste. His tongue dipped out and slid across my bottom lip, moving forward and coaxing at my seam to open up to him. I responded immediately, letting a quiet moan slip from my lips as he slid back out and tugged my bottom lip in between his teeth.

  He pulled back, breaking our kiss and our ragged breaths filled the air between us. “We can’t do this, not right now.”

  “And why is that?” I asked, genuinely confused and a little taken back after the kiss we just shared.

  “Because you’re trashed. And as much as I’d love to take all of you, right this fucking second, as deep as I can possibly get. I can’t.” His head came down next to mine, leaning against the wall behind me so that we were directly next to each other.

  I focused on my breathing, forcing the knots in my stomach to unravel and relax at his words.

  As much as every single part of me wanted him to have his way with me right now, I knew he was right. I fucking hated it, but it was true. And I hated that I still wanted it.

  But I also wanted to know that I’d remember every single moment of it when it happened. I wanted to be fully present and fully engaged.

  At that moment, as the silence and heavy breathing settled between us, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I reached down and pulled it out, holding it between us when I saw that name SAV dance across my screen.

  Shit, how long had it been since I left the dance floor?

  The time on my screen read twelve AM. Midnight, already?

  Sliding the answer button with my finger, I put the phone up to my ear.

  “Sav? Shit, I’m sorry. I’m still at the party, I just got ... distracted —”

  “Emma? Listen. I need to tell you something, but I need you to promise me you won’t freak out. Promise?” Savannah’s voice was hoarse. It sounded like she had been crying.

  What the hell happened?

  Chapter 35

  I pushed Cade back in a panicked frenzy; of course her words would make me freak out. Those words literally scream freak the hell out.

  Stepping forward I pressed my palm to my other ear, trying to drown out the noise from the party.

  “What the fuck do you mean, don’t freak out? Where are you? What’s going on?” I was rambling, trying to sober up completely and focus on exactly what Savannah was saying.

  “Emma, please. Don’t freak out, I promise we’re okay. But Logan and I left like twenty minutes ago, he was driving and—”

  No. No. No. No. No.

  Everything started crashing around me. Those words, seemingly simple and meaningless, held way too much weight for me.

  “We got into an accident and we’re okay, but we had to have an ambulance come and—” She was crying now. Damnit, she was crying. This was bad, it had to be.

  I was thrown back in time, five years ago to be exact. When I heard these all too familiar words and the tragedy that literally tore my world apart.

  My parents dying.

  I felt Cade’s arms wrap around my waist as he brought his ear closer to the phone, listening to what Savannah was saying about her and Logan. The warmth of Cade’s body so close to mine brought the tiniest ounce of relief. But it wasn’t enough.

  “We’re at the Bridgeway Hospital. Mom and Dad are on their way up here, I needed you to know. But please, don’t worry. This isn’t anything like before, okay? God, I know you’re already freaking out.”

  Tears were already streaming down my face uncontrollably. When did I start crying? I hadn’t even felt them hit my eyes before my face was soaked completely. Hot, salty streams burning my cheeks.

  “Emma? Emma, are you there?” Savannah asked, but I couldn’t respond. I felt my body go completely rigid as fear paralyzed me and muted me all at the same time.

  Cade must have taken the phone from me, because all of a sudden it was gone and I heard him muttering something on the line to Savannah. He hung up and came to stand in front of me, bringing his hands up to my face and laying his palms on my cheeks. Worry was etched into every crease of his face.

  “Bambi? Hey, look at me. What’s going on? Savannah said her and Logan are fine, it wasn’t a bad accident.” His eyes darted back and forth between mine and suddenly his hands were sliding up and down my arms in a comforting, stabilizing way.

  I was shaking, pretty violently, in his arms and I hadn’t even realized it. My breathing was becoming and more and more rapid, leaving my body in quick, sudden strokes. It felt like more air was leaving than was coming in and, suddenly, the edges of my vision started becoming black and fuzzy. My mind was spiraling out of control. I could feel it, every thought whipping one way and another one racing in the other direction. It was like I was grasping for the smallest shred of reality, trying to hold on to it and force myself to know that this was different than the last time. But I couldn’t control it.

  “Hey hey hey, Emma. Look at me,” he commanded. I could hear the slight tinge of panic coloring his tone. “Focus on my voice, okay? Focus on me. They’re okay. Everything is
okay.” He gently tugged me to the floor and pulled me up against him so that we were facing the dark hallway ahead. Pressing my cheek against his chest, he muffled out the sounds of the party around us and brought his lips closer to my ear. In that moment all I could hear was his voice cutting through the anxiety and the fear that had taken over my mind. He spoke and it rolled over me, his words tightly wrapping around my body.

  The waves of panic that had begun ripping through me, pulling me under and drowning me were being interrupted by the continuous sound of his words, unrelenting as they poured through me. It was as if he were able to reach directly into the darkness that I had found myself crippled in and pulled me out, at least partly, so I could suddenly take a deep breath that filled my lungs with oxygen.

  I couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying, and honestly it didn’t matter what he said. His voice alone was all I needed to bring me clawing back to reality and to the idea of what I needed to do next.

  I needed to get to that hospital.

  I pushed myself back, looking him in the eyes and clinging tightly to his shirt. “I-I have to go. I have to get to them,” I said quickly, rushing to stand up but stumbling slightly into the wall.

  Damn it! Why the hell did I drink tonight?

  “Woah there, Bambi. We can go, just let me drive you, okay?” He grasped my hips with his hands and holding me steady.

  “No. No, you don’t understand. This is a huge thing, for me. Okay? I can’t explain it. But I’m not dragging you into my shit. I can find a way to get there on my own.”

  “Fuck, no. I can see this is all something much bigger than just Sav and Logan getting into a minor accident. But if you think for a second that I’m leaving you in the middle of all of this? Then you’re insane. And you’re sure as hell not driving while you’re drunk unless you want to cause a second accident tonight.” His voice was deep and demanding in the best possible way. Part of me wanted him to leave me alone, to let me deal with this on my own. But the other part of me, the part that won out, needed him to keep me out of the darkness he had just pulled me from.

 

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