‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes.’ Emma’s voice gathered strength. ‘Everything’s fine.’
‘Actually, it isn’t,’ Luca snapped. ‘My mother is exhausted. How much longer must she nurse him at home before you admit him?’
‘Luca, I am trying to respect your parents’ wishes.’
‘Which means you are only respecting my father’s wishes.’ Luca’s lip curled as he added, ‘That is all my mother does.’ He turned to Emma. ‘Can you excuse us, please?’
As she left the room they faced each other, two proud, impressive men.
‘I am not leaving till my father is admitted to hospital,’ Luca said.
‘Then you may be here for a while, Luca.’ Leo’s words were born of exasperation. ‘Luca, what is going on?’
‘Nothing.’ He was eighteen years old again, Leo slicing the needle through the raw flesh of his cheek and asking questions, Luca pretending that he had a hang-over, that there had been a fight in the next village…
‘I’m worried about you, Luca.’
‘Worry about my mother.’
‘That I do,’ Leo said, ‘and Emma too.’
‘Emma?’ Luca’s voice was incredulous. ‘You worry about Emmam?’
‘I heard you fighting, and I could see the bruises on her wrist. I know this is a tense time,’ the doctor said, and Luca opened his mouth to make excuses, to lie, to cover up, to hide from it, except he didn’t. It was like a fist in his stomach—he had done nothing wrong, logic told him that, he had been stopping Emma from hitting him, that was all—and yet he felt as if he were being handed the baton.
The D’Amato curse being passed onto him, when he had sworn the line would be finally broken.
Only, unlike his father, Luca faced it.
Stood there and faced the truth.
And knew he had to deal with it.
‘I’m staying for a few days.’ Luca walked into the bedroom where Emma lay on the bed, staring upwards. He could feel her pain, sense her confusion and he could see the purple marks his fingers had left on her tender skin. He flinched inside but let nothing of his horror show on his face or in his voice. ‘You should pack.’ Luca’s head inclined to the wardrobe. ‘I’ll arrange the transport and ring Evelyn to cancel my diary for a week—I will stay on for a while. When you’re back can you speak with Kasumi…’ And he reeled off his orders, spoke of nothing but work and even managed to look her straight in the eyes as he did so.
‘I take it that means business as usual?’ Emma got his point—oh, she so got the point!
‘That was what you wanted. I assured you that you wouldn’t lose your job over this. Of course…’ he gave a brief, mirthless smile ‘…if you choose to leave, I will provide an excellent reference. I have some contacts…’
He wanted her gone.
With no excuse or explanation, he just wanted her gone.
‘What happened, Luca?’ she wanted to know. She just didn’t get it. ‘Everything was wonderful…’
‘For a little while, perhaps,’ Luca said. ‘But I’m bored with you now.’
‘Should I send myself some flowers?’ Emma sneered. ‘That’s what you usually make me do.’
‘Buy yourself a leaving gift,’ Luca suggested.
‘Who said I’m leaving?’ She damn well wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. ‘When did I say that I was looking for other work?’ Deep beneath the pain of his dismissal, there amidst her loss, there was a small coup—a little surge of triumph as, though his expression appeared unmoved, she registered the slight bob of his Adam’s apple and knew she had unnerved him. She felt a little flicker of satisfaction as she refused to dance to his beastly tune. ‘I’m very happy where I am—unless you have any complaints about my work?’
She watched his lips tighten just a fraction before he answered.
‘None.’
‘Good, then I shall see you on your return.’ She took off the earrings and attempting some dignity held them out to him, but Luca merely shrugged.
‘Consider them a bonus.’
And just like that she was dismissed from his personal life, they were dismissed, everything they had shared these past days was cheapened and soiled.
‘While we’re still on personal time, before it’s back to business…’ There were no tears in her eyes, no waver in her voice, as she meant every word. ‘I hate you.’
‘You’re repeating yourself now.’
‘Just so you know,’ Emma said, in a voice that was surprisingly clear. ‘When I smile and bring you in your coffee, or laugh at one of your jokes, or join you at some function, or when you think that I’ve forgotten what you did…’ Her eyes briefly met his. ‘I haven’t. Just so you remember…I hate you.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
SHE was preparing to leave.
Quietly, imperceptibly perhaps, but preparing all the same.
Like the lights being switched off in an office block, one by one, she closed the little doors to her heart—applying for other jobs, preparing her art portfolio, being more assertive with the real estate agent—all the while working alongside the man who had shattered her heart.
She had been back at her desk the next morning, ringing his clients, cancelling meetings, chatting with Evelyn, refusing to grant him his undoubted wish and immediately remove herself from his life so that he didn’t have to look at his mistake.
She’d take small victories where she could find them, and absolutely refused to be rushed.
And when his father was finally admitted to hospital and he returned, it was more business than usual.
Efficient, competent, she got on with her work and, on his first day back, she brought him in coffee and offered a pleasant good morning—and very deliberately set the tone.
‘Good morning, Luca.’
‘Good morning, Emma.’
Had she not known better, Emma might have been fooled for a second into thinking this was hurting him as much as it was her.
He looked awful.
Oh, by any other standards he looked divine, but there was an ashy tinge to his complexion, a fleck of silver in his hair she was sure hadn’t been there before, and the neck of his shirt was just a touch too loose, yet it looked as if it was choking him.
‘Your client meeting isn’t till nine. Evelyn has asked if I can go through your schedule for the next fortnight, if you’ve got time.’
She had been practising hard for this moment—Luca knew that. She didn’t blush, or avoid his gaze, and there wasn’t even a hint of aggression as she spoke. Never had he admired her more.
‘Now’s fine.’ He nodded for her to sit and pulled up his schedule on his computer as Emma took notes.
‘You’ve two international trips scheduled…’
‘Three,’ Luca said. ‘We will need to stay overnight in Paris.’
‘I thought…’ Her pen was poised over the paper. As Evelyn had started another round of IVF, it meant Emma would be accompanying him on all trips—the prospect was almost more than she could bear. ‘I mean with your father being unwell, Evelyn wasn’t sure that you still wanted—’
‘Paris is closer to Italy than London,’ Luca interrupted. ‘I won’t be cancelling anything—in fact, after taking a week off, there is a lot to catch up on. I’ll need one of you to stay back late tonight.’
‘Of course,’ Emma said evenly.
‘Probably tomorrow too.’
Emma knew what he was doing—he was warning her just how difficult this would be if she chose to pursue it, because it was she who would be doing the bulk of the travelling—she was here to lighten Evelyn’s load after all.
‘Not a problem!’ She gave him a smile. ‘Was there anything else?’
Leave.
He didn’t answer her, but it was the word that thrummed in his head during every meeting, every flight, every overseas trip.
Leave, his mind willed her—because it was killing him to be so close to her and not be able to have her.
He had thought it hard breaking things off with Martha—had thought for years that Martha had been ‘the one’, quietly safe in the knowledge that it would never be that hard again…
This was a thousand times worse.
Maybe she should just give him his wish, Emma thought over and over in the ensuing weeks as she worked alongside him, refusing to give in—it would certainly be easier to.
But she couldn’t quite close that last little door, couldn’t— just sever all ties—and for one very good reason.
‘What star sign would the tenth of June be?’ Evelyn had given up trying not to hope—she had a blood test in a couple of days that would determine her fate, and was frantically working out dates.
‘Gemini.’ Emma smiled, then put her head down and got on with her work.
‘What are Geminis like?’ Evelyn pushed, and Emma hesitated. She’d seen Evelyn’s devastation once and was dreading it happening again, yet was trying not to show it.
‘Charming, happy, witty,’ Emma said, wishing Evelyn wouldn’t get her hopes up so, but, then, who could blame her? It was, of course, all Evelyn could think about, all that was on her mind, no matter how she tried to get on with her day.
Emma could empathise with that.
‘I know I’m going over the top…’ Evelyn stood up to join Luca for his two p.m. meeting and glancing over and seeing Emma’s worried face, misconstrued it. ‘I think sometimes you just know—I feel different this time, I just know that I’m pregnant.’
For Evelyn’s sake, Emma prayed she was right.
For her own sake, she was frantically hoping that Evelyn was wrong because she was feeling different too. She pushed the thought firmly out of her mind and forced herself to concentrate on her busy afternoon.
Emma could hardly believe the variations in her workload. One minute she was arranging seven-star hotels in Dubai, the next she was dealing with a hysterical housekeeper on the phone and a dog that was convulsing.
Just another day behind the scenes of Luca D’Amato’s busy life.
Evelyn was with him in a meeting, so she texted her rather than rang.
There’s a problem with Pepper.
Housekeeper has to leave soon.
Vet on way.
She hit ‘send’—knew what the reply would be and wearily picked up her bag and summoned a driver to take her straight to Luca’s.
Somehow she hadn’t been to his apartment since that day—since their first kiss.
Stepping inside, it was hard to recall her innocence, her— naivety—that she had thought that she could handle things, could somehow deal with the force of his charm and his hot-and-cold affection and come out unscathed.
‘The vet’s coming!’ Rita, his housekeeper, was in tears as she bent over the little dog. ‘He’s just a few minutes away. I have to get to school to pick up the children.’
Pepper was a sad sight, lying on the floor in obvious distress but snapping and snarling if anyone approached.
‘You go,’ Emma said. ‘I’ll wait for the vet.’
‘Luca will be devastated,’ Rita sobbed. ‘He loves that little dog.’
‘Really?’ Emma couldn’t keep the note of surprise from her voice. ‘He’s hardly ever here to see him.’
‘But he liked to come home to him,’ Rita said, emotion countering discretion. ‘Oh, poor Pepper. I could never understand Martha just leaving him behind…’
Emma hated this.
Left alone with Pepper, she hated this.
These glimpses into Luca were killing her.
Working with him was bad enough, travelling with him too, but she could almost deal with business, only this job involved his personal life too…
Being in his home—amongst his things—sitting trying to comfort a little snapping, snarling, terrified dog that had belonged to a woman he had once loved, was more than she could take, more than she could bear…
‘Where’s the damn vet?’
She hadn’t been counting on Luca arriving, she had never thought he would dash out of an important meeting for a little dog he didn’t seem to particularly like.
‘He’s two minutes away—he just rang.’
He knelt down beside the little dog, his face grim and his voice not particularly tender.
‘You’re fine,’ he said to Pepper in a gruff voice, and then glanced up at Emma. ‘If I start being all nice he’ll realise…’ He put his hand out to the dog who bared his teeth and Luca ignored it, just stroked the little thing, and Emma watched as finally Pepper relaxed. ‘You know you like it really, you know you won’t bite me,’ Luca said, and then, when the intercom buzzed, he addressed Emma.
‘Can you let the vet in on your way out?’
‘I don’t mind staying.’
‘There’s no need.’
He was stroking the little dog with both hands now, soothing it and calming it and now saying nice things. She just didn’t get him—never, ever would she get him!
‘Should you ring Martha?’ she asked and watched him freeze for a moment.
‘She left him,’ he snapped. ‘It’s not her dog any more.’
‘Why did you two break up?’ she asked curiously. Now maybe wasn’t the right time for this discussion, but— it was the only window she had, the only possible time to ask the question she had for so long wondered about.
‘Things weren’t going too well,’ Luca said. ‘Here’s the vet now—let him in and then go.’
‘Or they were going too well?’ Emma stood up. ‘What, you were too happy, Luca, so you had to break it off with her?’
‘Just leave.’
But she couldn’t, instead she said what was on her mind. ‘Are you worried you might turn out like your dad?’ His face was black with anger as he turned to her, except— he didn’t scare her. ‘You’re not your father, Luca.’
‘Don’t practise your high-school psychology on me,’ Luca sneered. ‘I don’t love you, Emma—in fact, I don’t actually like you.’ His words were very deliberate and aimed straight for her heart. ‘I slept with you because you wanted it, because you begged me for it. I warned you from the start an affair was all it could be. Now, when— I tell you, as I did from the start, that it would not last, you have to find a reason why I ended it.’
‘Okay, Luca,’ she said, feeling sick, ‘I get the message.’
‘No, you ask, I answer—the reason I ended it is because,— like the rest, you got too clingy, too needy…and frankly—’ all his attention was on Pepper now ‘—you’re not that interesting in bed.’
She closed her eyes and swayed on her feet.
‘Out,’ he said, without turning his head.
This time Emma went.
It was quick and it was painless and it absolutely had to be done.
Even with a dog-sitter and a housekeeper, there had always been a small dash of guilt at leaving him so much—but as the vet had often pointed out on increasingly regular visits, finding a home for a geriatric poodle with dementia would be a tough task.
It was his time.
‘Do you want me to take him?’ the vet asked.
‘Please.’
‘Do you want his collar?’
‘No, thank you.’
He shook the vet’s hand and thanked him, saw him out, and then spent ten minutes trying to find where Rita kept the bin liners. Walking around the apartment, he filled it with Pepper’s things, kneeling and checking under the bed, in the laundry, under the sofa, making sure that every last thing of his was gone, then throwing the bag down the chute. Annoyed at the dog hair on his favourite suit, he stripped it off and changed, then threw his suit down the chute too.
Only when every last trace of Pepper was gone did Luca head back to the office.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘I’M SURE I’m pregnant,’ Evelyn said firmly. If she said it assuredly enough then the universe wouldn’t dare to argue.
‘Let’s just wait and see what the clinic says.’ Emma attempted caution. ‘You’ll know tom
orrow.’
‘I’ve got all the symptoms,’ Evelyn insisted. ‘I mean, I feel sick all the time, my breasts are hurting…’ It was like water torture—drip by drip, Evelyn listed her symptoms, each one causing a further stab of unease in Emma. ‘I just want to know now.’
So too did Emma.
‘Evelyn…’ Emma picked up her bag. ‘I’m going out for my lunch break, okay?’
‘Out?’ Evelyn frowned, as well she might. There was no such thing as a lunch break—it was either out with Luca and taking notes or a quick sandwich at the desk. The requisite lunch break in this place was non-existent. ‘I’ve got some things I need to do…’ Emma slung her bag over her shoulder ‘…and I doubt I’ll be out of here by five.’
The public toilets in a department store wasn’t the best place to find out the news, but somehow she needed to be away from Luca for this. Leaning against the wall, the short wait was interminable. Picking up the indicator, she stared at it, not trying to work out the hows or whys, as the internet had already told her that—new job, lots of travel, different time zones…She had been vigilant taking her Pill but sometimes, apparently, these things happened. Picking up the instruction leaflet, she didn’t need to check it as the answer was perfectly clear—whether or not it was to her liking was another matter entirely.
She walked back to work, her heart in her mouth, not even attempting to fathom Luca’s reaction to the news—she was having enough trouble fathoming her own!
‘Where the hell have you been?’
Luca was not in the best of moods—in fact, he hadn’t been in the best of moods for a long time. Since his return from Sicily the pretence of business as usual had soon worn thin, but since Pepper’s death his mood had darkened further. Still, as she slipped off her jacket his harsh tone had no impact on Emma.
‘I asked where you’d been,’ Luca said. ‘I’ve been ringing your mobile.’
‘At lunch,’ Emma said, ‘and I forgot to charge my phone.’
‘You went to lunch two hours ago.’
‘And I stayed here till eleven p.m. last night,’ Emma retorted, her head too full of the sudden news to feel threatened by Luca’s tone.
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