A Band of Steel

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A Band of Steel Page 21

by Rosie Goodwin


  Towards the end of the corridor the nurse stopped to tell them, ‘Dovid is in here. Would you like me to come in with you? He can be quite aggressive although he should be all right for now; he had his medication not long ago.’

  Freyde drew herself up to her full height and stared at the woman with disdain. ‘Dovi is our son,’ she told her imperiously. ‘And so we won’t need anyone to come in with us, thank you.’

  ‘Suit yourself.’ The woman selected a key from the bunch and unlocked the door before telling them, ‘There’s a buzzer at the side of the door. Just ring it when you want to come out.’

  Freyde and Ezra stepped silently past her and they were scarcely in the room when they heard the key turn behind them.

  The room they found themselves in was little more than a cell and very sparsely furnished. There was a narrow bed against one wall and an easy chair beneath the window that was set high up in the wall and covered by thick iron bars. The floor consisted of unpolished wooden floorboards and the walls were bare with no pictures or adornments of any kind. But it was not these things that Freyde was looking at now. It was the poor pathetic soul who was huddled in the chair with his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

  Suddenly she felt as if her feet had been glued to the floor and it was Ezra who first took a tentative step forward.

  ‘Dovi? Hello, son. It’s me, Papa. How are you?’

  Dovi showed no sign of having heard him. His head was lolling to one side and saliva was dribbling from his mouth onto what appeared to be some sort of bib that was fastened about his throat. Beneath the undignified bib he was dressed in old grey trousers and a grey jumper that hung from his thin frame. His hands and fingers were twitching convulsively, and as Ezra took one in his own the young man snatched it away and began to make terrible mewling noises.

  ‘It is all right, Dovi. We are here now,’ his father soothed, but the sound of his voice only seemed to agitate the young man further.

  Freyde longed to go to him, to comfort him, but somehow her legs would not do as they were told.

  ‘Look, your mother is here,’ Ezra told him as he struggled to catch Dovi’s hand again, but it was flailing wildly in the air now as if he was trying to knock away some unknown enemy.

  ‘It’s going to be fine.’ There was a note of desperation in Ezra’s voice now and he glanced at Freyde, silently pleading for help. She took a step forward and forced herself to say, ‘Come along, Dovi. Do not distress yourself so, please.’

  Now he suddenly lunged forward and Freyde flattened herself against the wall as he started to hammer his fists into the hard mattress on the bed. He then turned, and before either of them could stop him he began to bang his head repeatedly against the wall, keening loudly.

  ‘Ring the bell!’ Ezra barked urgently as he tried to stop him. Freyde turned and quickly did as she was told. Within seconds the door exploded open and two burly men, accompanied by the sour-faced nurse who had admitted them, charged into the room.

  The two men wrestled Dovi into the chair and once he was trapped they held him as the nurse plunged a loaded syringe into his arm. Within seconds Dovi began to calm down and soon his head lolled to the side again and he seemed oblivious to everyone as the nurse strapped him into a straitjacket.

  ‘I think you should be leaving now,’ she told his parents. ‘He doesn’t know anyone anyway.’

  On feet that felt like lead, Freyde and Ezra stepped out into the corridor and Freyde knew that she would never set foot in this place again. The young man she had just seen was not her son. Her Dovi had been so handsome, with a ready smile and a kind word for everyone. She could picture him now on the day he had been born and the proud way Ezra had looked on as their son snuggled into her warm full breasts. She could see him taking his first steps and remembered the day he had lost his first tooth. She still had it somewhere. It was one of the treasures she had insisted on bringing with them from Cologne.

  Shortly before she and Ezra had left to come here, a solemn-faced policemen had visited the house to inform them that Dovi would not have to stand trial for the three attacks he had committed.

  It was official now. The psychiatrists who had examined him at Hatton had declared that he was not responsible for his actions. Dovi would escape hanging: his punishment was to be far worse. He was to stay at Hatton for the rest of his life. It had been decided: their son was a danger to the public. Freyde had been appalled at their decision – until she had seen him, and now she knew that it made no difference where he was. That empty drooling shell was not her son. Dovid Schwartz was gone from her for ever.

  They waited patiently at the end of the corridor until the nurse came to unlock the door, and then they strode away without so much as a backward glance.

  It was late evening by the time they arrived home looking unbelievably tired and strained.

  ‘I’ll make you a hot drink,’ Adina offered the second they set foot through the door. ‘And have you had anything to eat? You must be starving.’

  Freyde flung her coat over the back of the chair. ‘I’m not hungry,’ she told her and swept up the stairs before Adina had a chance to say another word.

  When Adina looked questioningly towards her father, he sighed heavily. ‘Give your mother a bit of peace,’ he muttered. ‘This is very difficult for her.’

  Adina felt like saying it was difficult for all of them, especially little Sarah, but wisely held her tongue. Her father was obviously as wound up as a spring and she didn’t wish to say anything that might upset him further.

  Instead she asked cautiously, ‘How was he?’

  Ezra looked at her before saying, ‘From this moment on, your brother shall not be mentioned in this house again.’

  ‘But that’s so unfair!’ Adina cried, before she could stop herself. ‘He wasn’t responsible for what he did. He’s ill and—’

  ‘Silence!’ Her father’s voice rocketed across the room, stopping her mid-sentence.

  She stared at him for a moment before quietly walking past him and making her way to her bedroom with tears streaming down her face. It seemed that now she had lost a brother as well as a sister, and it was almost more than she could bear.

  Unknown to her parents she had spent the afternoon with Karl making the most of her parents’ absence. But soon he would be gone too – and then it would be just her and her mother and father. Until Karl came back for her, that was. And then they would be completely alone. She bowed her head at the thought.

  On a sunny June day, Karl and Adina stood together in the gloom of the copse in Riversley Park to say their goodbyes. Adina was sobbing unashamedly and Karl was greatly distressed.

  ‘Please do not cry,’ he implored her. ‘I shall be back before you know it, and then nothing and no one will ever part us again. Just keep the beautiful dress you made ready to be worn.’

  Ariel had returned the wedding dress some time ago and now it was back in the suitcase under Adina’s bed.

  She clung fiercely to him and listened to his heartbeat, unable to imagine what her life was going to be like without him. She knew without a doubt that he was the only man she would ever love. He was her soulmate and she would willingly have died for him.

  ‘Can you not give me any idea at all how long you might be gone?’ she asked again for the tenth time in as many minutes.

  ‘No, I cannot,’ he said regretfully. ‘But before I go, I must be honest with you or I could not live with myself. I have been trying to tell you for some time, but now I can put it off no longer.’

  Drawing her down onto the grass, Karl sat beside her, then staring over her head he composed himself before beginning, ‘Before I joined the war I was engaged to be married to a girl back home.’

  Seeing the hurt that instantly flared in Adina’s eyes, he hurried on. ‘It was not what you think. It was to be an arranged marriage between her family and mine. That is how things were done in my parents’ circle. It had been expected of us since we were children. The girl and
I were friends, but I cannot pretend that we were in love. Even so, I would have gone ahead with the marriage had I not met you. But now . . .’ He sighed wearily. ‘I am a man of honour, and before you and I can come together, I must go back and see if my parents are still alive. I will then free myself from the engagement and come back to you as soon as I can.’

  He cupped Adina’s chin and stared into her eyes. ‘All I can tell you is I will not be gone for a second longer than is necessary. Meantime, wear my ring and each time you touch it, know that I will be thinking of you.’

  She nodded as she fingered the band of steel suspended on the fine chain about her neck and then they were in each other’s arms and Adina wondered how she would bear to be parted from him. Now, as their lips joined, their passion mounted and soon they were lying side by side on the grass as his large hands played across her body. Adina knew that what they were doing was wrong, but she was powerless to stop it.

  Scarcely before she knew what was happening they were both naked, and she rejoiced at the feel of his firm skin beneath her fingertips. He stroked and sucked at her pert nipples until they stood to attention with desire, and she arched her body into his – and when he finally rolled across her and took her virginity, she gave herself to him gladly. There was one moment of intense pain but then she was lost in ecstasy as she called out his name. And then it was over and he lay at her side panting as she snuggled into him, fingering the silky blond hairs on his chest.

  She clung to him as if she would never let him go. It was unforgivable for a Jewish girl to give herself to a man before marriage, but in her mind they already were married and she needed to belong to him in every way.

  Eventually he pushed her away from him and stood up looking repentant. ‘I am so sorry,’ he muttered. ‘I should not have let my feelings get the better of me.’

  ‘Don’t be sorry,’ she whispered, as all the love she felt for him shone in her eyes. ‘I wanted it to happen, I am truly yours now.’

  They dressed hastily and then he was holding her hands again and gazing into her eyes.

  ‘I must go now. The jeeps will be waiting up at the Hall ready to take us to the plane.’

  He kissed her one last time and as he strode away without looking back she covered her eyes and wept.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  At the beginning of July Adina received another letter from Beryl informing her that she had given birth to a baby girl. She had called her Catherine and for the first time she admitted how much she was missing home. Adina’s heart ached for her. She could only imagine how hard it must be, to be far away from home with a new baby and a new family to adapt to. She was still delighted that mother and baby were doing well though, and hoped that Beryl would be slightly happier and a little more settled when she next wrote to her.

  The weeks since Karl had left had passed painfully slowly, with each day seeming like a week. As yet she had received no word from him, although that was not giving her cause for concern yet. Letters were still taking a long time to be delivered and she knew that she would have to be patient.

  She had been very busy at the school, which she supposed was a blessing, as whilst she was busy she wasn’t moping over Karl. The Headmistress, Mrs Downes, had her busily writing letters to the evacuees’ families, and the Red Cross were trying to locate them too, to see if it was possible for them to return home. Karl had agreed to address his letters to the school, as they had decided that Adina’s parents might wonder who was writing to her from Germany if he should send them to Edmund Street. Not that her mother seemed to notice much any more. Since the day she had visited Dovi in the asylum she had said barely more than two words to either of them. She was giving Adina serious cause for concern, and as well as the extra work at the school, the girl was also now almost running the house single-handed. She still tried to find time to see Ariel once a week, and her sister was distraught to hear how sad her mother was.

  ‘It’s not right,’ she told Adina one day as they strolled through the marketplace. ‘If only Papa would let me visit, I could help you. You have enough to do with the work at the school and all the sewing you take on. You’re as pale as a ghost. Are you sure it isn’t too much for you?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Adina assured her. ‘I’m just a little tired, that’s all. And anyway, you have enough to do, waiting for the baby to arrive. It won’t be long now, eh? I can hardly wait to meet my niece or nephew.’

  Ariel grinned as she stroked her swollen stomach. The baby was due any day now and she was waddling like a duck and hugely uncomfortable.

  ‘I shall be glad when it’s here now,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘Lugging this lot around in this heat isn’t much fun, I don’t mind telling you. And Brian is so excited. I think he’s going to make a lovely father. Did I tell you that he had managed to get a job? He’s working part-time at the post office sorting mail now. It’s done him the world of good. I think he feels useful again, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘That’s wonderful.’ Adina was genuinely pleased to hear the news. On the few occasions she had met her new brother-in-law he had seemed like a thoroughly nice young man, and it was obvious that he loved Ariel dearly.

  ‘You know, I’m so lucky,’ Ariel went on. ‘If only I wasn’t estranged from Mama and Papa, and if our brother had been well, everything would be perfect. But then I suppose we can’t have everything. And who knows, perhaps when the baby is born Papa will have a change of heart and want to meet his grandchild.’

  Adina nodded, although she thought there was very little chance of that. Ezra too had changed almost beyond recognition since Dovi had been locked away. He seemed bitter and angry all the time, and it had got to the stage where Adina was almost afraid to open her mouth in case he snapped her head off. On top of everything else she was helping out in the shop more now too, as Freyde just sat for hours in the chair that Dovi had once adopted, staring into the fire-grate as he had.

  Sometimes when she dropped into bed each night, Adina was so exhausted that she was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow. She was feeling tired and unwell all the time, but guessed that this was because she was missing Karl so much. Every morning when she arrived at the school she would look through the mail hoping to see a letter addressed to her from Germany, but up to now she had been sadly disappointed.

  She and Ariel had reached the end of Queens Road now where they kissed and said goodbye.

  ‘Be sure and let me know if anything happens with the baby before next week,’ Adina told her sister.

  Ariel grinned. ‘Don’t worry. Brian will get word to you one way or another. Goodbye.’

  Adina set off towards home, and as she was approaching the shop she saw an ambulance parked at the kerb. Suddenly she was running and as she neared the entry she saw Mrs Haynes standing there in her turban and her pinny.

  ‘What’s happened?’ she cried as she sucked air into lungs which felt as if they were bursting.

  ‘It’s yer mam, luv,’ the woman told her tearfully. ‘Yer dad come runnin’ round an’ asked us to phone fer an ambulance. Apparently he popped out the back an’ she were in the chair. He couldn’t wake her. The ambulancemen are in there with her now.’

  Without bothering to answer Adina shot up the entry. She ran through the yard and the open door just in time to see two tall men loading her mother onto a stretcher. Her father was looking on with tears streaming down his cheeks.

  ‘What’s happened?’ Adina addressed the question to him but when he didn’t reply she looked towards the men. ‘She’s my mother,’ she gabbled. ‘Can’t you tell me what’s wrong with her?’

  The two men glanced at each other and then one cleared his throat before telling her quietly, ‘I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid she’s gone.’

  ‘What do you mean . . . she’s gone?’ Adina felt as if someone had slapped her in the face.

  ‘We can’t be sure yet, but it looks as if she had a massive heart-attack. She was already dead when we got here, alt
hough we did everything we could, I promise you.’

  ‘NO!’ Adina’s head wagged from side-to-side as shock coursed through her veins like ice cold water. ‘She can’t be gone!’

  Ezra placed his arm about her trembling shoulders as the men silently pulled a thin blanket across her mother’s pale face. They then lifted the stretcher and headed towards the door as she looked on in stunned disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. It just couldn’t! First Ariel had been sent away in disgrace, then they had lost Dovi, and now this!

  Freyde Schwartz was buried forty-eight hours later in Witton Cemetery in Birmingham. It was the nearest Jewish cemetery that the undertaker they appointed could find for them and the earliest that the undertaker could arrange for the burial and appoint a rabbi to perform the service for them. Freyde had been returned home to them within hours of her being taken to the hospital, and Adina had washed her mother’s body from head to foot in warm water and dressed her in a tachrichim, a plain white shroud as was their custom. Freyde was then placed in a plain pine coffin and the night before she was buried Adina never left her side. This practice was known as Shemira, honouring the dead, and whilst Adina sat there her father watched over her, reciting Psalms.

  The cemetery was a huge sprawling place that covered a hundred and three acres, but only two of these were used for Jewish burials and it was there that Freyde was laid to rest with no one but her daughter and husband present. Before the simple ceremony began, the rabbi tore black ribbons into strips, which Ezra and Adina pinned to their clothes to symbolise their loss. The rabbi then recited Psalms, followed by a short eulogy and a memorial prayer. The coffin was then taken to the grave that stood open, and as Ezra and Adina followed it they stopped seven times to recite Psalm 91. And then it was over, and as the funeral car drove them home, Adina sat in deep shock staring blindly from the window.

  Her father had confessed to her the day before that he had known for some time that Freyde had a heart problem, but they had decided to keep it from their daughter so as not to worry her. And now she was gone and Adina felt cheated because she had not even had the chance to say a proper goodbye, or tell her Mama how much she loved her. It seemed so unfair. But then as she was discovering, life was unfair. Now, more than ever, she needed to feel Karl’s strong arms about her, but still there had been no word from him. During the burial service Adina had glanced up to see Brian standing on his crutches some way away, and she wondered how he had managed to get there, and why Ariel was not with him. Surely she could have come to their mother’s funeral even if she had not been invited?

 

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