by Annie Rains
This was not good. Lawson’s gaze slid to Julie standing a few feet away. She looked like someone had just run over her puppy, which yeah, they kind of had. She was really invested in making this yoga class work. He suspected it was as much to help the military community as it was to help herself get past whatever demons she was fighting.
“I’ve got him,” he told her. “I’ll take him to the emergency room.”
“I’ll go with you.” She took a step toward them.
“No! You stay away from me!” Mr. Banks ordered, barely able to open his eyes.
Julie blinked. All Lawson wanted to do was take her in his arms and hold her. Someone needed to. “Okay,” she said softly. “I hope you feel better, Mr. Banks.”
Lawson eased Mr. Banks out the door and toward his truck in the parking lot. Once Mr. Banks was seated, he drove toward Seaside Medical. “You were trying too hard,” he said, his growing resentment seeping through in his voice. “To prove to Julie that yoga was easy. It’s not.” His jaw tightened as he remembered the wounded look on Julie’s face just now.
Mr. Banks glanced over. “Are you saying this is my fault?”
“Yes, sir. That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Lawson kept his eyes on the road.
Silence rode in the truck between them. Lawson didn’t mind. Mr. Banks had no power over him; he needed him if he expected to get out of this truck and make it into the ER where he’d probably be given a couple of muscle relaxers and feel better in the morning. Lawson wasn’t so sure there was a magic pill to take away Julie’s misery tonight, though.
He slammed his truck door as he walked around to the passenger side and opened the door. “Lean into me and I’ll get you there.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Mr. Banks said after a few painful steps. “I don’t stretch much before I exercise usually.”
“Yoga is more than stretching,” Lawson muttered. He’d been guilty of thinking along the lines of Mr. Banks a few weeks back, too. Had he been as big a prick as this guy beside him? He hoped not. Otherwise, how in the hell had Julie forgiven him?
“You like this mumbo jumbo then?” Mr. Banks asked. “You must like it to be dressed like that.”
Lawson growled. They were five steps away from the entrance to the ER and then he was dumping this guy’s ass in the lobby and leaving. “Yeah, I like it. If you’d taken things slowly tonight maybe you would’ve, too.”
The automatic doors to the hospital opened. He helped Mr. Banks to the reception desk, then turned and walked out without saying another word. Someone else needed him right now, and no way was he going to let her down.
—
Fifteen minutes later, Lawson pulled his truck into Julie’s driveway and parked behind her car. The lights in her house were off, but he doubted she was sleeping. He walked to the front door and knocked. Then he knocked again and again until he finally saw the living room light come on.
“It’s me,” he called. “I need to see you.”
The lock clicked and Julie opened the door. Her eyes were red and swollen, and that undid him. Stepping toward her, he pulled her into his arms and held on tight. Her body was rigid against his at first. He held on until she softened. Then he heard her suck in a ragged breath, and she started to cry.
He was the first guy to leave a room when a woman cried. This wasn’t his thing. He didn’t do tears or crying. He also didn’t do counseling or yoga. That was the old Lawson, though. This was the new one—new and improved if you asked him. He lifted his hand and stroked the back of her hair, released from its ponytail. “He sucks,” he whispered in her ear.
She laughed against his chest.
He gently guided her inside and shut the front door behind them. After another minute of holding her, she stopped crying and pulled away. He’d have gladly held her all night, if that’s what she needed.
She headed for the coffee table, grabbed a Kleenex, and plopped down on the couch. “I’m sorry,” she sniffled. Her face was splotched now, and she wasn’t a fraction less attractive to him.
“Don’t be.” He sat beside her. “And don’t worry about Mr. Banks. He’ll be fine.”
She glanced over. “But he won’t renew my yoga program. That’s pretty clear.”
“Then screw him. Do it somewhere else. The Julie I know doesn’t give up that easily. I mean, look at what I’m wearing.”
She laughed again and his heart soared. “You’re right. I can do it somewhere else if the Veterans’ Center doesn’t keep me on.” A soft smile bloomed on her mouth. She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “Thanks for coming over, Lawson. I feel a little better now.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” He swallowed as he stared at her, wrestling between running for the door and leaning over and kissing her. Both seemed enticing to different sides of his brain.
“Can you stay?” she asked.
His mind screamed noooooo! “For a little while,” he said, ignoring his mind and listening to his heart instead.
—
Julie needed a distraction. That’s all this was. At least that’s what she was telling herself as she watched Lawson’s hand rub up and down her thigh. He was just comforting her. The fact that she wanted to take advantage of that was wrong. She’d returned to Seaside determined to be an independent woman who didn’t need a man.
She needed Lawson right now, though. She needed him so bad she could hardly see straight. She stopped his hand with hers and looked at him. Her heart stuttered in her chest. Maybe this wasn’t her giving up control; maybe this was her taking control. She leaned in toward him, keeping her gaze focused on his. Judging by the heat in his eyes, he wanted her as badly as she wanted him right now.
“Do you have a condom this time?” she asked, knowing he did. She had some, too. That wasn’t the point of asking the question. The point was to see if they were on the same page.
“In my wallet.” His touch became firmer, his hand moving higher as he rubbed her.
“Good.” Crossing the distance, she pressed her mouth to his.
He pulled her to him, parting her lips with his tongue. She didn’t care. His tongue could go anywhere he wanted to put it tonight. So could any other part of him, thanks to Trojan.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, pressing against her.
“Oh, yeah. I’m sure.” She stood and started leading him down the hallway to her bedroom. Once inside, his mouth went to hers hungrily, stopping all words. He pulled her shirt off and tugged on her pants, yanking them down. A low growl came from his throat as he laid eyes on her black lace thong. Just knowing he was looking at her, about to touch her again, made her ache with need.
His hands gripped her bottom as he dropped to his knees and kissed just below her navel. Then his tongue licked where he had kissed. Was he going up from there or down, she wondered, because both were a good idea. This was all a very good idea, even if they’d sworn it’d never happen again. Even if he was just comforting her after the yoga class from hell.
Laying her back on the bed, Lawson crawled up her body, taking his time and attending to every square inch.
“You’re still wearing clothes,” she said, pushing him off her after a time. He rolled onto his back as she straddled him and began to peel down his yoga shorts.
“So are you,” he said with a grin, flicking his gaze toward her underwear. “I’ll have to fix that in a minute.”
She undressed him and did the honors of taking the rest of her own clothing off, slow and deliberately, letting him watch.
“You are so fucking beautiful, Julie.”
The words turned her on as much as his touch. She moaned as he pulled her close and planted his face in the curve of her neck. Then he slipped his fingers between her legs and rubbed her gently before slipping on a condom and pushing his way inside her. She felt amazing, better than any ride he’d ever taken. He pushed harder, deeper, faster, taking Julie higher and higher, if her moans were any indication.
When
they were done, they both lay side by side, breathless and sated.
“How was it?” Lawson asked.
Julie opened her eyes and laughed. “How was what?”
“You know.” He looked at her. “ ’Cause if it wasn’t good, I can try again.” He grinned, trailing his hand over the curve of her waist.
“You know it was good. Great, actually.”
“I’m glad I came over tonight.”
Julie rolled her body toward his. “Me, too. There’s coffee in the kitchen if you want some.”
“Maybe later.” He kissed her mouth. “We have two whole boxes of condoms to put to good use, darling.” His hand wandered up her body again.
She arched and moaned with need. And then they enjoyed each other’s body again.
—
He should be getting up and leaving right about now. This was just sex between two consenting adults. Funny thing was, he didn’t have the urge to leap out of Julie’s arms.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked, eyes half closed. There was a dreamy look on her face, and he was responsible for that. He wouldn’t mind repeating what he’d done to put that look there, either. Three times was a charm.
“I’m thinking a cup of that coffee you offered earlier sounds good right about now. You stay there. I’ll get it. Want a cup?”
She nodded. “Otherwise, I’ll fall right to sleep. You wore me out.” She smiled wider.
“I could say the same of you, sweetheart.” He stood, fully naked. Pulling on the cock-hugging yoga shorts Julie had persuaded him to buy, he headed down the hall toward the kitchen. A cup of coffee would be nice, but the real reason he’d gotten out of bed with Julie was because he’d been too comfortable there, which in turn made him uncomfortable. Julie was a sweet girl. And Dr. Pierce had warned him that jumping in too soon would ruin everything. Then Julie would hate him. And quit sitting for his niece.
Ah, shit.
He poured two cups of coffee, then searched through the cabinets for cream and sugar. Finding them, he made the long walk back to the bedroom.
She pushed herself up and took the coffee from him. “Thank you. Looks like you found everything you needed.”
“Your kitchen is very organized.” He sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled. “I’m sorry, Julie.”
She looked at him over her cup of coffee. “Sorry?”
“About what just happened? I shouldn’t have—”
“Taken advantage of me?” Julie laughed. “Is that really what you were going to say?”
Lawson took a sip of his coffee. “You’re a nice woman.” A caring, beautiful, multi-talented woman.
“Stop backtracking, Lawson. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. And I’m not going to turn into Mel. You don’t have to worry about me. I just got out of a serious relationship, so I’m not looking for another commitment.”
“I see.” He looked over. “Who is it exactly that you’re getting out of a serious relationship with?” Because he’d been wanting to meet that guy in a dark alley alone for a few weeks now. It was obvious the guy was bad news.
Her smile faltered. “My ex in Charlotte. Daren.”
“How long were you together?” he asked.
“Three years.”
“Geez.” He’d never had a relationship that had even lasted one year. “Do you mind telling me what happened?”
She stared into her coffee, the look on her face making it clear that she didn’t enjoy revisiting the memories. “Daren was a great guy when we first started dating.” Her eyes slid sideways to meet his gaze momentarily. “He was my boss at the gym where I worked. He gave me the job and I was grateful. Then he started giving me more responsibility. I was honored at first. And when he asked me out, I was flattered. It was good between us for a while.” She shrugged.
“So what changed?” Lawson asked.
“He started working out obsessively for a weight-lifting competition in Charlotte. He and several of the gym’s members were really serious about it. Turns out his muscles weren’t just coming from his extra reps with the barbells.”
“Drugs?” Lawson asked. He’d known guys in the past who’d done the same. You couldn’t get away with it in the Corps, but he’d had classmates in high school who’d experimented with things to get ripped.
“Steroids,” Julie confirmed, nodding. “His whole demeanor started to change. He wasn’t the sweet boyfriend who brought me flowers for no good reason anymore. Suddenly he was angry and possessive. I didn’t know what was going on at first. He’d criticize what I wore and tell me to change. He started ordering for me at restaurants. If another guy so much as looked at me, Daren would fly off the handle. And it was always my fault.” She pulled her knees toward her chest as she sat, guarding herself as she confided in him. “I finally realized just how pathetic I had gotten when he vetoed the cake I had chosen for my birthday dinner with friends last year. It was my birthday. I wanted chocolate cake.”
“What woman doesn’t want chocolate on her birthday?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t want her to stop talking. He suddenly wanted to know more about the woman in front of him.
“Right. He decided we should have yellow cake. He also ordered my dinner that night. And the wine. We went back to his house afterward, even though I wanted to go dancing with the others. And we had, um…” Her cheeks darkened.
“Sex,” Lawson supplied, hating this guy she’d dated.
Julie nodded. “But it had been the way he’d wanted it. It was about his pleasure and not mine. And it was my birthday, damn it. Mine, not his.” Her voice grew louder as she spoke.
“Sounds like a royal asshole.”
Julie smiled at this. “He was. At least that’s what he became. I’d known it was time to leave for a long time, but I hadn’t done it. I’d lost myself to him and his stupid steroids. So I woke up early the morning after my birthday and started packing. I left before he even woke up.”
Lawson looked at her now. “You didn’t break up with him first?”
“I left a note,” she said, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and avoiding his gaze. “I knew if I actually talked to him he’d just control me more. And obviously I can’t stand up to him. If I could I would have had chocolate cake on my twenty-ninth birthday and gone dancing.” She shook her head. “He was just mean. I don’t know what I ever saw in him.”
“And he hasn’t tried to mess with you since you came here?”
Julie looked away. “He’s called. Left me messages. He doesn’t know where I am for sure. He called my mom and she told him she thought I’d gone to the West Coast to visit a friend….I think he just calls every now and then to remind me how weak I still am. And that really pisses me off.” She lifted her eyes to look at him.
“You’re anything but weak, Julie. From where I stand, you’re pretty damn strong. You whipped me into shape, after all. It sounds like he’s just a dick. A really small one.”
Julie laughed. “Yeah. It’s not just about Daren or my birthday and the cake. I realized that night that my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be. He wasn’t who I wanted to be with. I didn’t love him. I didn’t love anything about my day to day, either. I was homesick.”
“I’d say leaving was the brave thing to do.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’m honored to be the guy you trust yourself with after all that. Some might call me your rebound guy. I’m fine with that if that’s what you need,” he said, setting his coffee mug on the nightstand and pulling hers from her hand. Then he kissed her, long and hard. She’d taken some of the pressure off by telling him about her past. But she’d also made him wish that he was ready to offer more.
He couldn’t right now, though. So instead, he’d give her what he could: a night that rivaled all others. He wouldn’t stay the night, of course. For more reasons than he cared to count, one of which being that sleeping for him these days always ended in a cold sweat. He wasn’t ready to explain that to a
nyone right now, even if Julie had just entrusted him with all of her secrets.
Chapter 14
Julie had noticed at some point in the night that Lawson was no longer beside her. He’d quietly gotten his things and left. Which was fine. They’d agreed to nothing. This thing between them was nothing. But it sure had made waking up this morning easier, considering what had happened last night in yoga class.
Julie flinched at the memory. Disaster. She just hoped Mr. Banks wasn’t seriously hurt. She knew he’d had a heart issue a month or so back. Hopefully she hadn’t killed him. Forcing herself to get up, she padded down the hall to turn on the coffeepot. Then she showered and dressed. She had to get to Beth’s to take care of Sabrina. They were catching bugs this morning. Julie had been able to put Sabrina off on this one thing for a while, but now Sabrina was adamant. They needed to catch ladybugs, roly-polies, and earthworms. Julie cringed. The bright side to the activity was that walking around the yard was bound to wear Sabrina out. And after last night, Julie really needed Sabrina to nap today.
Climbing into her car, she sipped on her thermos of coffee, summoning her courage to check on Mr. Banks. She needed to make sure he wasn’t on his last breath because of her.
First, she sucked in a breath, held it. Release and let go. With her courage gathered, she dialed Mr. Banks’s phone number and waited, relieved when his voicemail picked up. After the beep, she took a breath and left a short message, telling him she hoped he felt better. Then she dialed Allison’s number. She figured she would rather hear she’d been fired from Allison anyway.
“Just the person I wanted to talk to,” Allison said as she answered the phone.
A feeling of dread anchored in Julie’s stomach. “So you heard?”
“Heard what?” Allison asked, her voice lowering a notch.
Julie’s fingers unconsciously curled around the steering wheel. “That I sent Mr. Banks to the hospital last night.” She grimaced just saying the words.
“You what? What happened?”
“Oh, you know,” Julie said. “He took my class and ended up in excruciating back pain. Lawson drove him to the ER last night. That’s not what you’re calling about?”