by Annie Rains
“I tried,” she said breathlessly.
“It’s okay. You can try again next time.”
She tugged on his jeans, peeling them down from his chiseled waist. Even in the dark she could see the defined ridges of his abs and hip bones. She wanted to take her time, to trace every beautiful line of definition with her fingers and tongue. “Take these off,” she ordered.
He cocked a sideways grin. “Public exposure is where I draw the line, sweetheart.” He sat up and unzipped his jeans just enough to free himself for her. Her dress was up around her waist. If someone came along, it’d be easy to push it back down and cover herself.
Making love with her clothes on—that was another first for her.
“Okay.” She lay back on the tailgate and smiled up at him, hoping no one saw, but enjoying the thought that someone might. She closed her eyes as he pushed his way inside her. After a moment, she forced her eyes open, meeting his gaze above her. Behind him was a black sky, accented by small, white stars. Time seemed to disappear as they clung to one another under those stars; as she stared into his eyes, falling a little deeper with every second that passed.
Somewhere in the distance, she heard a helicopter flying toward the airfield. Lawson didn’t flinch. His eyes stayed on her as he pushed deeper. He was focused on her, a man on a mission.
She pulled him closer. He’d opened up to her tonight. What did that mean, she wondered, trying hard, and failing, not to believe it meant everything.
Chapter 18
Lawson awoke to the sound of screams in his head. He sat up and looked at Julie, lying in the bed beside him. She didn’t stir. Good. He didn’t want to answer a bunch of questions about what he’d been dreaming about, not that he’d get dressed and leave her this time. No. She’d proven to him that she wouldn’t think less of him for having nightmares, or for struggling with what he’d been through.
Massaging his hands over his face, he tried to wipe away the images of one Marine’s bloody leg dangling off him like a broken tree branch. At least Rogers had lived. That’s what everyone always said. But with what repercussions?
“Hey.”
Lawson turned toward Julie’s voice behind him. Her eyes were still only half open, but a dreamy smile creased her face. He’d put that smile there. That was something to be proud of.
“Hey, yourself.” Leaning in, he kissed her, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him back down on the bed.
“Don’t even think about rushing off on me this morning,” she said, running her hands over his back. “I’m not done with you yet.”
His lower part went on alert at the sound of that. “Oh, yeah? You’re becoming one bossy yoga instructor, you know that?”
She laughed, wiggling under him as he kissed the crook of her neck and started to make love to her again. He’d lost count how many times they’d had sex over the last twelve hours. Twice on his tailgate last night and at least that many times after they’d returned home.
Twenty minutes later, Julie’s stomach rumbled as she lay beside him in a boneless puddle.
“Hungry?” he asked, unable to keep his hands from touching her silky skin.
“Starving.”
He kissed her cheek. “Me, too. Let’s go have breakfast at the twenty-four-hour diner.”
She lifted her brows. “This early? People will know we spent the night together.”
“What people and why do I care?” He kissed her again, on the mouth this time. “I want people to know that I won over a girl like you.”
Dr. Pierce’s words poked at his memory. He’d made a lot of progress, but she’d told him in no uncertain terms what she thought about him getting involved with someone. It was risky. He didn’t want to hurt Julie the way her ex had. She deserved better than that.
But he’d let Julie into his inner world last night, and she hadn’t thought any less of him. He had taken Dr. Pierce’s advice; that had to count for something.
Thirty minutes later, Julie winked at him across the table. “Gee, I wonder what made me so ravenous this morning.”
“At the rate we’re going, I have a feeling you’ll be ravenous again by lunch,” he teased, lowering his voice for only her to hear.
The waitress walked up and looked between them. She was a cute woman who was usually on shift when Lawson dined. “Well, this is a first. You brought a woman with you this time.”
He nodded. “I did. Fine food deserves fine company.”
The waitress agreed. “Your usual?” she asked.
“Always the Seaside Special for me,” he said.
The waitress nodded. “And for you, dear?” she asked Julie. “You want the same?”
Julie paused, taken aback by the question. Lawson could almost see her defenses rising. She couldn’t stand the thought of not being able to make her own decisions. “Um, no. I’d like a stack of pancakes, actually. And a black coffee.”
When the waitress was gone, Lawson reached his hand out toward Julie. “I thought you had your heart set on bacon and eggs. That’s what you told me on the ride up here.”
She shrugged. “A girl can change her mind.”
“As long as she doesn’t change it about me.” He squeezed her hand and let go. “Your choice today. What should we do?”
Her demeanor softened. Touching her pointer finger to her chin, she contemplated her answer. “You’re going to give me your entire Sunday?” she asked.
“Mm-hmm.” And she had no idea what a big deal that was. Sundays were usually reserved for riding the horses and meeting up with the guys. He liked to lift weights and jog.
“Anything I want to do?” she clarified.
“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”
She laughed. “You owe me a class, remember?”
“I remember.”
“Well, this afternoon is my first yoga class for kids. And it just so happens that I need an assistant.”
Lawson went still. He’d had a lot of things in mind that he’d like to do with Julie today. Teaching yoga to children was not one of them. “Sounds great,” he said, forcing a smile. Hopefully some of the things he’d had in mind for today could be squeezed in before or after doing the Warrior Pose with a bunch of elementary-aged rug rats.
“Here you go!” The waitress slid Lawson’s breakfast in front of him.
Julie stared at his bacon.
“I don’t mind sharing,” he said, placing some on her plate.
She grinned as she lifted a piece to her mouth and took a bite. “Man of my dreams.”
—
Julie stared at the room full of seven children, ranging in ages from five to thirty-two. The thirty-two-year-old was clearly a man—all man—but looking at him enjoying himself with the children, he could easily pass for one big kid.
Wiping the smile off her face, she raised her hand and got everyone’s attention. “Ready, kids?” She teasingly looked at Lawson. Lowering herself to the floor, she crossed her legs in front of her and waited for the others to do the same. Then she went through some basic poses, giving them animal names to make it more fun.
“This is the Cobra,” she said, lying on her stomach and lifting her upper body high off the floor. The kids laughed as they followed along. And if she wasn’t mistaken, watching from the corner of her eye, Lawson appeared to be just as into the moves as they were.
After a series of moves she’d put together over the last several days, she sat upright and gestured to him. “And it’s tradition for the class assistant to demonstrate the last pose of the day.”
His face visibly dropped, making her suppress a laugh. “Last pose? But I don’t—”
She held up her hand. “We want Mr. Lawson to show us an animal pose, don’t we, kids?”
The kids cheered, turning to him excitedly. “Yay!” they all yelled in cacophonous unison.
“Animal move, huh?” He flicked his gaze toward her as his mouth curled at the corner. “Let’s see. What kind of animal move should
I do? Okay. I got it.” He stood and held out his arms, turning his palms toward the wall in front of him. “How about we do the Eagle? An eagle holds its head high, no matter what. It symbolizes freedom.”
The kids all mimicked his movements. Julie did, too. Her throat was tight as she followed along. Here was this big Marine helping her with something that was important to her. And he was being sincere about it, not belittling.
“You’re awesome. You know that?” She went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek after the class had been dismissed. They were still standing in the small studio that Allison had opened to her. Everyone was gone now, however, and they were alone.
“I could say the same about you.” He placed his hand on her lower back as he pulled her to him. “I love watching you move, even when you’re moving like an alligator.”
She shoved him playfully, then allowed him to pull her toward him for another kiss. “I’ll be your assistant anytime you need,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.” His mouth lingered on hers. The day they’d spent together had been unbelievable. After breakfast they’d taken the short drive to the ocean. They’d walked along the beach and he’d held her hand, just like they were in a real relationship. And that wasn’t such a scary thing in her mind anymore. The only thing that scared her was that he might not feel the same.
“Want to come back to my place?” she asked, meeting his gaze.
“I shouldn’t.” He shook his head. “If I do, I doubt I’ll get any sleep. And tomorrow is a workday for both of us.”
“Right.” She nodded.
“You’re hard to say no to, though. Let me stop by my place and grab my things,” he said.
Her heart squeezed. “Sure. No problem.” They walked to his truck and got in. Then, as natural as breathing, they went home together.
—
On Tuesday night Julie walked into the local Mexican restaurant that Kat and Val went to routinely. They looked up from their margaritas and stared at her like she had two heads.
“What? You said I had a standing invitation,” Julie said.
Val pulled out the chair beside her. “Of course you do. We just figured you’d be spending the night with Mr. Cowboy Marine.” She waggled her eyebrows.
Julie rolled her eyes as she plopped down in the chair. “He’s working late.” Heat moved into her cheeks. “But we’re going to catch up later.”
“Catch up, huh? Is that what they’re calling it these days? I’ve only been married a few months and the terminology has already changed,” Kat said, shaking her head.
Julie laughed. “You guys. I didn’t come here to get harassed about my love life.”
Kat and Val exchanged a glance.
“Your…ahem, love life?” Kat sat her drink down. “We are long overdue for drinks, sis.” She raised her arm to signal the waitress. “We are going to need a peach margarita for my sister here, please. We need to loosen her up so we can squeeze information out of her.”
“You got it,” the waitress said, heading toward the bar.
“Sooooo.” Val stared at her expectantly, molding her lips around her straw. “Spill it.”
Julie shrugged, suddenly wanting to keep what she and Lawson had a secret. The rules had changed and she didn’t want anyone else’s opinions about it jumping in the mix, making her second-guess what felt right. “Let’s just say, Lawson and I have been exploring our arrangement.”
“The one where you sleep together at night and are just friends in the day?” Kat asked.
Julie nodded. “Yeah. That one.” The waitress slipped her drink in front of her and she sipped gratefully. She didn’t want to get drunk. Allison was meeting her here later for a business discussion, and even though they were friends, Allison was still her boss.
“Is Lawson ready for more? He’s been through a lot this past year,” Kat said.
“Well, he has a few nightmares and he’s a little skittish around helicopters, but other than that, he’s fine.” She nibbled her lower lip. “He’s perfect, actually.” More heat flared in her cheeks. She took another long sip.
“Perfect, huh?” Val’s smile stretched along her face. “Sounds like someone is falling in love.”
“No. We’re just—”
“Exploring your arrangement,” Kat said, finishing her sentence for her. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“I won’t. I’ve become a lot more confident since returning to Seaside. I feel like I’m finally in control of my own life again, and it feels incredible.”
Kat nodded. “Have you spoken to Daren yet?”
Julie avoided her sister’s gaze. “No.” She was confident and in control, but still not ready to face the man who’d stolen those two things from her. She would be soon, though, she promised herself. She and Daren had unfinished business, and she was going to handle it at the first chance she got.
“I’d like to have a talk with that guy myself,” Val said. “He and the spike of my highest high heels need to meet.” She raised her glass. “To new beginnings.”
Kat and Julie tapped their margaritas with hers. “To new beginnings.”
“Speaking of new beginnings.” Allison stood at the edge of their table.
“Hi, Allison.” Julie set her drink down and glanced at her watch. “You’re early.”
“I hope that’s okay. I’m just so excited about the news I have to share with you. Mind if I sit down?”
“Not at all.” Julie looked at Kat and Val to make sure.
“I actually have to get home to Micah,” Kat said apologetically. “Meet us again sometime soon,” she told Julie. “You, too, Allison. The more the merrier. And call me tomorrow to tell me about this good news.”
Julie waved. “You got it. Kiss Ben for me,” she said.
“And kiss Micah for me.” Val winked, then stood also. “I’m out, too. Great seeing you, Julie. Bye, Allison.”
Julie watched them leave, and then turned to Allison. “So what’s up?”
Allison sat down. She was already holding her own drink, which made Julie feel less awkward continuing to drink from hers. “Guess who walked into my office today?”
Julie thought for a second and started to answer before Allison cut her off.
“I’ll tell you who. Mr. Banks.”
Julie lifted her brows. “Okay. How is he doing? Is everything okay?”
“Better than okay. He says he has a new lease on life since his”—she used her fingers to make quotation marks in the air—“near death experience.”
“I see,” Julie said.
Allison nodded, excitedly. “He wants to buy the empty building next to ours and turn it into our new health and wellness center!”
Julie nearly spat her drink out of her mouth. “Holy crap! That’s huge.”
“He’s going to renovate it to look similar to our main building.”
Julie smiled. “That is amazing news, Allison. I’m sure you’re over the moon.”
“And the sun and the stars. You should be, too.” She narrowed her eyes.
“Me? Why?” Julie asked.
“Because I think you’d be the perfect assistant director.”
Julie sat back and dug a finger into her chest. “Me?”
“Of course. You’d be great. You have a degree in business and exercise science. You’re from Seaside and know exactly what our military community needs.”
Julie was nodding along. Allison was right. She was the perfect woman for the job. “If Mr. Banks has a say in this, it will never happen. I might have won him over a little bit, but I don’t think he’ll go for that.”
“Mr. Banks just needs some convincing. That’s all.”
Julie met Allison’s mischievous grin. “I admit I would love the job.”
“Great. Then let’s make sure you get it,” Allison said.
Chapter 19
Lawson stared down the dimly lit hallway. He’d been sitting here for forty-five minutes, trying to make
his feet move toward the flight simulator at the other end of the building. It wasn’t the real thing by any means, but it was a step in the right direction. If he was going to do this, he needed to do it soon. He was picking up Julie tonight to go to Kat and Micah’s for dinner—a couple’s dinner. That was another step in the right direction.
Commander Oakes turned a corner and started walking toward him.
Damn.
“Captain Phillips.” The commander’s steps quickened until he was standing right in front of Lawson. “What are you doing here? I thought we were still giving you time to lick your wounds.”
Biting back the sting of that comment, Lawson forced a smile. “I thought you just needed someone to push papers for a while. Give the other paper-pushers a break.” He laughed even though he didn’t see anything funny right now.
Commander Oakes shook his head. “No. You’re too valuable to keep behind a desk. You’re one of the best pilots we have on this base. Your record is clean, aside from that accident last year. That wasn’t your fault, though, Captain.”
Lawson nodded. Not his fault. He knew that, but it didn’t keep him from feeling guilty about it. That wasn’t something they’d taught in flight school—Guilt 101: How not to let it devour you.
Commander Oakes stared at him. “Are you still doing that yoga thing down at the Veterans’ Center? The one that’s supposed to be helping with your stress?”
Lawson looked up. Stress got elevated to PTSD in some minds, and that diagnosis had killed his buddy’s career. “I am doing the yoga, sir. Dr. Pierce recommended it. And the instructor isn’t bad to look at, so…”
This made the commander laugh. “I see. How are your visits with Dr. Pierce going? You ready to fly again?”
Lawson’s gaze flicked down the hall where the flight simulator loomed. As if reading his mind, Commander Oakes nodded. “Light duty is temporary, but there’s no shame in asking for reassignment. A lot of pilots go on to instruct on the base in Camp Neally. I happen to know that Major Pete is retiring and—”
Lawson shook his head. “I’m a pilot, sir. I’m fine and, frankly, I’m tired of pushing papers. Of course I’m ready to get back in the sky.”