by Sawyer Belle
Once the door shut behind them, she led him down the porch steps and into the driveway light. Clouds of breath drifted between them and she hugged the small coat closer to her. She hoped this wouldn’t take too long. She was already beginning to freeze. Rick just stared at her, his eyes unblinking and pouring into hers like bottomless holes. It made tiny ribbons of fear curl around her pulse and quicken it. She shifted nervously from one foot to the other.
“I miss you,” he finally said and her shoulders drooped.
“Don’t do this to yourself, Rick,” she urged gently.
“What am I doing to myself?” he asked softly. “I love you. Nothing has happened in the last seven days to change that.”
“Rick, you and I were never going to work out,” she said sympathetically. “It’s my fault for letting it get as far as it did, and for that I’m sorry but trust me, I was never going to marry you. I’m so sorry, Rick. I know what a broken heart feels like and I hate that I did it to you.”
He bowed his head to stare at the ground. Mackenna watched as tiny wet drops fell from his eyes.
“Maybe,” he rasped, “we could just slow things down a little bit, call off the engagement.”
“No, Rick,” she whispered.
“Just date for a while,” he continued as if she’d never spoken. “I can hold off on school. We’ve always been too busy studying to be with each other. Maybe if we just slow it down and spend some quality time together…”
“Rick, you’re not hearing me,” her voice losing some of its softness. “You and I are done. For good.”
“I can’t believe that,” he said, raising his head again to look at her. “There has to be a way for us to…”
“I’m married, Rick.”
He stood motionless and all of a sudden emotionless. After a long pause, during which his eyes darted to the sapphire ring she wore on her left hand, he snorted disbelievingly.
“You can’t be married,” he said. “We were engaged only a week ago.”
“I am married.”
His face drew down in thought, shock and confusion soon giving way to a knowing anger.
“Brent?” he nearly growled and Mackenna took a small step back.
“Yes.”
He shook his head at himself. “I knew I should have never let you go to Montana.”
Mackenna’s spine straightened and a little boldness surged through the fear. “You couldn’t have stopped me,” she said.
“Oh, yes I could have, and I should have. And to think that you actually had the nerve to break up with me for basically being right. I knew something like this would happen.” The weepy, forlorn Rick was gone. In his place stood a soulless host of jealous rage.
“Do you even hear yourself?” she asked impatiently. “If you knew something like this was going to happen why would you want to be with someone who wants to marry someone else?”
“Because I believed that you loved me more.”
Mackenna shook her head in wonder. “Rick, I never loved you at all! Not once did I ever tell you that I loved you. Didn’t that send up a red flag to you?”
“I thought you were being shy and reserve.”
“No! I was being honest.”
“Don’t you dare!” he threatened as he thrust a pointed finger at her. “Don’t you dare stand there and tell me that you were being honest with me when you’ve spent the last year lying to me, making me believe that you wanted a future with me, playing me for a fool. You knew that I thought you loved me.” He stalked toward her until he was an arm’s length away. “And you knew all along that you were going to trash my heart.”
Mackenna scrambled for words, all courage gone in the face of his rage and the truth of his words.
“I lied to myself, too, Rick,” she said soothingly. “I really did try to love you, to believe in a future for us, but in the end I just couldn’t. Even if I had never seen Brent again, I wouldn’t have married you. We were heading for a breakup long before now. I just didn’t have the guts to do it to you.”
“That’s a cop out,” he spat. “No woman would go along with an engagement and a year-long relationship if she didn’t love the guy. So, tell me why you stopped loving me.”
His eyes were bright with fury, his fists balled at his sides. His breath was so hot that Mackenna turned from it as he leaned closer to her with his demand. She wanted nothing more than to be far from him.
“Rick,” she said nervously, calling forth whatever false bravery her voice could muster. “It’s time for you to leave. We have nothing more to discuss. It’s over.”
He reached out and gripped her upper arms in between his steely fingers, squeezing until she cried out. As he spoke his next words, he jerked her body toward his.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me why!” he shouted down into her face. Mackenna felt her body bending backward beneath the painful tightness of his grip.
“Take your hands off my wife,” Brent said, emerging from the shadows of the front door. His voice was calm and cool, but carried the heavy weight of a promised threat. He slowly walked down the porch steps toward them. Rick’s eyes narrowed as he studied his adversary.
“So, this is Brent,” he sneered. “I don’t recall inviting you into this conversation.”
“I’m not going to tell you again,” Brent growled and Mackenna felt her entire body flood with relief. Rick hesitated for a moment before finally releasing her. She stepped back and instantly rubbed her arms. They were already tender and she knew they would bruise.
“Now, you can go,” Brent said as he came to stand beside her.
Rick looked from one face to the other before finally snorting in heavy disdain.
“Screw you both,” he hissed. “Fine. You can have her, but always know that I had her first.” After his taunt he turned his sharp eyes on Mackenna. “As for you…” There was no way that he could form all of his thoughts into words and so on impulse, he did the one thing that he knew would convey what he thought of her at the moment.
His arm shot out and whipped her hard across the face with the back of his hand. Her head spun halfway around from the force and she gasped, bringing her hands up to cup the side of her cheek as she stumbled away. Before Rick could enjoy a moment of satisfaction Brent was on him, one fist sinking into the center of his face, the other into his midsection.
As Rick doubled over Brent’s arm, Brent threw him to the ground, following him there with fists flying. Soon, David was wrapping his arms around Brent, yanking him back and away. Mackenna felt the protective arms of her mother as she struggled to regain her balance. Brent was pushing his way out of David’s hold until another few pairs of hands came to his aid, subduing him completely.
Rick laughed and moaned as he rolled over to his side to spit out a mouthful of blood.
“I told you you’d regret it, Mackenna,” he spat.
“If you ever touch her again, I’ll kill you!” Brent shouted, still fighting against the restraining arms around him. “Do you hear me? Dead!”
Rick carried on laughing up at the sky. David stepped forward and leaned over him.
“That goes for me, too,” he said. “Now, get your ass off my property before I have you arrested for trespassing and assault.”
Rick rolled over onto all fours then slowly made his way unsteadily to his feet. His laughter continued, growing deeper and more sinister. He looked at Mackenna shuddering in her mother’s arms, and Brent steaming nearby and laughed in genuine entertainment. He limped off toward his car and climbed inside. It wasn’t until his taillights were out of sight that Brent ripped his arms free of the men behind him.
He went instantly to Mackenna, whose mother handed her over without complaint. Her entire body quaked in his arms as she buried her face in his chest. The people in the driveway were chattering in disbelief at what they’d witnessed until Helen ushered everyone inside and out of the cold. As Brent led Mackenna toward the door, David stepped in his path.
Both men had hellfi
re in their eyes. No words were spoken, but David reached out a hand and Brent took it in his grip. Restrained anger flowed between them toward the same cause and as they nodded at one another, they shook hands.
Chapter 39
Mackenna winced as Brent pressed a towel full of bundled ice to her cheekbone. The cold compress made the bruising beneath tingle with a searing heat. She let out a calming breath and stared at the floor. She and Brent had not spoken since it happened. He had just led her straight up to their room with her mother hot on their heels with the ice. She soon left them alone and Mackenna sank onto the foot of the bed in a daze. She felt Brent’s fingers gently cup the bottom of her chin and pull her face up to look at his.
Her eyes were wide with shock and confusion. Her face was pale except for the dark shading of what would become a wide bruise across the upper part of her left cheek. Her mouth fell in unspoken words and she shook her head slowly.
“He’s never done anything like that before,” she said, her voice almost desperate. “I don’t understand.”
“He would have done it eventually,” Brent said softly to her. “Men don’t just become that way.”
She shook her head again in disbelief before focusing once again on the floor.
“Mackenna,” Brent began, “I don’t believe in telling a person what to do, especially a spouse, but I don’t want you to see him again, and definitely not on your own. Now that he’s shown what kind of man he is, he’s not to be trusted.”
She looked back up at him, her eyes flooding with fear. “Do you think I have to worry about him?”
His gut told him that she did, but he didn’t see the point in heightening her fear.
“Nah,” he lied with a small smile. “He knows you have a husband who will make good on his threat.”
She knew he was trying to cheer her up, but she felt incredibly low. She’d never been struck before, not by anyone. She was never confrontational, and she was naturally comfortable and confident in the chivalry of men. Rick had more than wounded her face. He had made her vulnerability painfully clear. She pushed the ice away softly and rose to stand before the window, her arms crossed over her chest.
Brent watched her retreat from him. He knew she was shaken and he couldn’t blame her. She’d been hit pretty hard. He was glad that he’d followed her onto the porch despite her reassurances. He didn’t like the man from the second he saw him. Something inside him warned that he was dangerous. How could Mackenna have gotten mixed up with someone like that? Part of him wanted to scold her for not being more discerning, but he knew that wasn’t what she needed right now. He moved to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.
“What are you thinking?” he asked quietly.
“I’ve never been hit before,” she said wearily. “It was so easy for him, even with you standing right there.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t see it coming before it happened,” he said with hurt in his voice.
“That’s not what I mean,” she soothed. “I mean he wasn’t afraid to do it, even knowing that you would beat him for it. He didn’t care about the consequences.” She took a deep breath. “That’s what scares me.”
He turned her in his arms so that she faced him.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said looking down at her.
“You can’t promise that,” she returned sadly. “You can’t be with me all the time, and even if you are, he proved tonight that he can still hurt me when you’re there.” She walked away, covering the tender part of her face with a hand. “I just don’t understand how I could have misjudged him so badly. I swear he never showed any tendencies toward violence.”
“How long have you known him?” Brent asked.
“A year and a half,” she answered. “I met him just after Ty’s wedding.”
“God, Mackenna, how could you be with a guy like that for a year and a half and not know he was like that?”
She shot him an angry look. “I just told you that he never showed any signs of violence.”
“He must have said or done something that would have raised an eyebrow. What could have possibly drawn you to someone like him?”
“I don’t know,” she quipped sarcastically. “What could have possibly drawn you to Princess Yoga? Oh wait, I remember.”
Brent sighed. “What’s going on, Mackenna? Why are we fighting over this?”
“Because you’re blaming me for Rick hitting me, and I don’t like it! It’s not my fault!”
Brent studied her and read the message behind her words. “Sounds like you’re blaming you, Mackenna.”
Her eyelids fluttered nervously and she turned away from him, retracing her steps to the window. Her breaths fogged up the panes until she could no longer see outside. Brent stayed where he stood, waiting for her to respond, just as Ty always did with him. To his surprise, it worked and she began talking. He couldn’t see them, but warm tears slid down her cheeks.
“Maybe it is my fault,” she said. “Rick was right. I knew all along that I was going to trash his heart. I knew that I was never going to marry him. So, why did I string him along for a year? The more he loved, the worse I felt about crushing his love, but I still knew that in the end I would do it. I knew I could never marry him, but I let him believe I would.”
“Why?” Brent asked softly, struggling to understand it himself.
Her voice was choked with tears, so it took her a few swallows before she could answer.
“I just…wanted someone to love me,” she covered her mouth with a hand as she sobbed quietly, remembering the depth of her loneliness. “I know it’s selfish, but I wanted to be wanted. I wanted someone to wake up with dreams of me fresh in their mind, to picture me when they thought of complete happiness, to never leave my side. I wanted someone to look at me the way Rick used to before I broke his heart. I wanted someone to love me…the way that I was loving you.
“Rick offered all of that from the beginning, and I thought that his feelings for me would make me stop loving you, make me forget you. I knew that I didn’t love him when he said it to me, but I just kept talking myself into giving it more time. I tried to force my mind to stop comparing him to you. I tried to make myself love him. I just kept thinking a little bit more time. More time, more time! Before I knew it, we’d been together for six months and he was asking to marry me.”
She wiped angrily at the tears wetting her cheeks.
“I should have ended it right there,” she said. “I should have walked away and admitted to him, to myself and to everyone around me that you were the only man I would ever love.” She spun around to look at him, a flushed look of regret on her face. “But I felt so damn guilty! He was offering me everything I thought I wanted. How could I tell him that it wasn’t good enough? How could I tell him that it would never be good enough because he wasn’t you?”
Brent looked on with sympathy and regret of his own. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t been such a stubborn jackass. If only he could go back and erase so many of his choices.
“So, you’re right,” she said, defeated. “I am blaming myself. I played with his emotions and I deserved to get slapped.”
A righteous anger roared in Brent.
“Stop it!” he commanded then crossed the room to cradle her face in his hands. “You’ve made mistakes. God knows I’ve made more. This is killing me, what I did to you, but there is nothing that you’ve done that gives him the right to put his hands on you like that. Nothing! I don’t ever want to hear you say that you deserve to be beaten. This man is sick. Any man who raises his hand to a woman has got something wrong with his head.
“I’m not blaming you,” he reassured her. “I’m just trying to figure this out. Stop feeling guilty over him. He doesn’t love you. A man doesn’t hurt the woman he loves, even if she hurts him. That’s not love. What he has is some twisted obsession. I need to know how sick he is so I know how to protect you. Has h
e ever done anything that’s made you feel uncomfortable before? Has he ever said anything that’s made you pause?”
“Don’t you think you’re overthinking this a bit?” she asked, growing fearful by the worry in his eyes.
“It’s possible,” he admitted, “but I’d rather overthink it than underthink it. I don’t want to take any chances when it comes to your safety. Now, think.”
Mackenna slowly pulled free of his grasp and paced quietly back and forth, scanning the memories of their relationship. One stood out first.
“On Christmas Eve, after I got your email, he and I got into a fight. I’d never told him about you during our relationship but he all of a sudden knew all about you and my feelings for you. He finally admitted to reading my journals, but he had to have done it when I was still in my apartment because they are packed right now. The weird thing was that he never had any time to read my journals because I was always there any time he was. He didn’t have a key.”
She paused, yet another memory springing to mind.
“Now that I think about it, I never did know how he always knew where I’d be and where I lived.”
“What do you mean?”
“We met in class, and always spent our time together on the campus for the first few months. Once the fall semester started, he’d just show up wherever I was, like he knew I was going to be there. Then, one day he showed up on my doorstep with flowers, asking me out.”
“And you didn’t think that a little strange?”
“I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly that day, Brent. I’d been crying, once again, over you. I was so livid at how upset I still was that when he knocked and asked me out, I just agreed, hoping it would get my mind off of you. It was only later that it dawned on me that I’d never told him where I lived, but by then we were dating and he was acting completely normal so I never brought it up.”
She recounted more stories to him as they came to her. She told him how emotional Rick always got, how the engagement came about, how he’d refused to take her to his place, how his jealousy and possessiveness had raged after they’d had sex, how he’d begun checking her text messages. The more she remembered and revealed, the more idiotic she felt. She could see it clearly now. How had she missed the signs back then? How could she have let their relationship keep growing, feeding his obsession? She sat back down on the bed and shook her head at herself.