by Tasha Ivey
Once inside the house, he doesn’t waste any time. He grabs my hand and leads me straight into the bedroom, immediately stripping off his jacket and tie while I watch from just inside the door. I don’t know if I should start undressing or sit down or . . .
“Stop thinking, Callie,” Wes orders, obviously sensing my unease. “You really think I’m going to pounce you as soon as we walk in the door?” He finishes unbuttoning his shirt and walks up to me. “You want one of my t-shirts and some boxers? I thought we might get comfortable and relax a bit.”
I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Okay, sure.”
He grabs some clothes from a drawer and drops them into my hands before rubbing a thumb across my cheek. “If you want to shower, you’re more than welcome to go first. Don’t take this the wrong way, but if you don’t shower, at least wash the makeup off. You’re gorgeous tonight, but you’re a damn knockout without it.” He pauses to kiss my forehead. “I’ll shower when you’re done, and maybe we’ll watch a movie or something. Sound good?”
I nod and force a confident smile before I slip down the hall and into the bathroom. What kind of cat and mouse game is this? I think I liked it better when I thought he was going to jump me as soon as we walked in. Now, I don’t know what we’re doing. It’s like he’s toying with me, so I’ll be constantly guessing when it’s going to happen. But will it be worth the wait and anticipation? Oh, I definitely think so.
After pulling a million hairpins out of my hair, I get in the shower. I have so much hairspray and gunk in my hair that I can’t even run my fingers through it, and I feel like I need to be sandblasted to peel off the layers of makeup, creams, and heavy perfume on my skin. I’m relieved that he likes me without all of it because I certainly feel better without it. I feel like my skin can finally breathe once I start scrubbing it all away. The bonus of it all is that I get to use his body wash and shampoo, and it’s like testosterone in a bottle.
Finally feeling clean, I dry off and pick up the pile of clothes on the counter—a plain white shirt and some pale blue boxers. After getting dressed, I swipe my towel across the mirror to clear the fog and laugh to myself at how big his clothes are on me. But then again, something about wearing his clothes is oddly sensual. Finally, I move on to the tangled, wet mop of hair on my head, and I’m rummaging through my purse for a brush when there’s a knock at the door.
“Cal, you decent? Open up.”
I peek through a narrow crack in the door at Wes. “Need something?”
“Yes.” He pushes the door the rest of the way open. “It’s my turn, and you’re a bathroom hog.”
I just stand here with a hairbrush in my hand, gawking while he turns the water on and adjusts the temperature. He turns to grab a towel from the shelf beside me but pauses as his gaze meets mine in the mirror. “You look damn good in my clothes.”
“Thanks,” I croak as he begins to unbuckle his belt. “I’ll, uh . . . I’m going to go see if Makenna ever sent another text.” I dart out of the bathroom. Was he testing me? Probably. Did I fail? Most definitely. The confirmation of that comes from the low chuckle I hear echoing from the bathroom.
Running the brush through my hair, I go down the hall to his bedroom, where I left my phone. A missed call and two messages. I knew Wes’ message would really set her off.
Makenna: ‘Wes just sent me a message. What exactly is Shane supposed to fill me in on? He’s busy talking and I have to know!’
Makenna: ‘OMG. Seriously? Shane didn’t know all the details, but he knew the most important one. You and Wes? Okay, you’re joking with me again, right?’
I have a couple of minutes, so I decide to call her or she’ll never shut up. She picks up on the first ring.
“Callie! If this is another one of your stupid jokes, I swear I’m going to strangle you.”
I take a deep breath. “No, it’s not a joke. I took a deal with the devil himself. We added some benefits to our friendship.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“Well, it hasn’t officially started yet, but I suspect it will within an hour or two. He’s showering right now.” I sink into the chair by the bay window and look out at the pinpricks of twinkling light in the obsidian sky. The stars are so much clearer away from the city lights.
“Jeez, you make it sound more like a business transaction than anything else.” Shane laughs in the background. “I don’t get it, Callie. You just went through all that nonsense with Tanner, and you’re pretty much doing the same thing to yourself again. I love Wes to pieces, but I have to admit that I’m a little shocked. Don’t get yourself hurt.”
“Don’t worry about me, Makenna. Tanner was an idiot. At least Wes is honest about what he wants, and I can work with that. We’re both getting exactly what we want from this relationship, and there aren’t any other expectations. That’s the beauty of it.”
She groans. “You’re such a dude sometimes. Do you even like him?”
“I probably like him too much, to be honest, and it’s probably going to come back and bite me later. But I’m a big girl. I can deal with the consequences.”
“Suit yourself. I love you both, and I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“We’ll talk when I get home tomorrow. Goodnight.”
“Yeah, goodnight.”
I hang up and realize I don’t hear the shower anymore. “He’s fast,” I mumble under my breath.
“Because I’m not a shower hog.”
I turn to find Wes leaned against the doorway of his room. “Maybe not, but you’re an eavesdropper.”
“I’ll neither confirm nor deny that statement.” He straightens and approaches me. “What do you want to do? I can make us a snack. We can watch a movie. Play cards. Whatever you want.”
“I need a drink.”
He grabs my hand and drags me out of the chair. “Me, too.”
Once in the kitchen, he starts his spiel of every possible fluid he has in the house to drink, but I cut him off. “Whiskey.”
He cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. “The hard stuff, huh? Am I that bad that you have to drink yourself into it?”
“Not at all. I was just hoping to make things less weird. Easy. Like it was the night of your party.”
“Ah,” he sighs. “You mean when I was drunk and depressed.”
I take the whiskey bottle from him and pour a little into two glasses. “I thought you were kinda adorable.” Before I lose my nerve, I pick one up and shoot it, feeling my eyes water as the liquid fire runs down the back of my throat. “God, that’s disgusting,” I choke out.
He follows suit and shrugs. “It’s not that bad. More?”
“Hell, no,” I say, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“Okay, then. Now what?”
I can’t take this little game anymore. It’s like we’re circling each other in a wrestling ring, waiting for the other one to lunge first. “What are we waiting for?”
Wes leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m waiting for you to act like you’re not scared of me. You’re the one that said you wanted this, but ever since you did, you’ve been quiet and acting freaked out. I thought if we just chilled for a bit, you’d relax and realize nothing is different between us.”
Oh, but it is. “I’m not scared of you, Wes. I know what this is. I know your limitations. I know it will inevitably end. It’s not a matter of if . . . it’s when. And I’ve decided that it’s better to get it out of our systems and go on with our lives after it’s over, instead of acting like the attraction isn’t there. Then you can stop acting like an ass because you want me and can’t have me, and I can stop pretending that I don’t want it as much as you do.”
His mouth quirks up on one side. “It’s about time you showed up. I’ve been missing your big, opinionated mouth.”
I narrow my eyes at him and jump up to sit on the counter, crooking my finger at him to come closer. “Good because I’ve missed your mou
th, too.”
Taking the situation in my own hands this time, I grab each side of his face and pull him to me until our lips meet. The sweet hint of whiskey on his lips takes me back to that first kiss. With his hands firmly planted on the granite, he allows me to take the lead, only giving what I ask for and matching my pace. Gentle. Unhurried. All-consuming.
I let myself drown in him, in the feeling of his soft lips caressing mine, in the way his breath catches when I suck gently on his bottom lip. When my tongue grazes the seam of his mouth, his darts out to meet mine hungrily, and I suddenly need more.
Releasing his face, I break his grip free from the counter ledge and wrap his arms around my waist, and that’s all the encouragement he needs. He pulls me closer into the firm wall of his warm chest until I’m at the very edge of the counter, and I wrap both arms around the top of his shoulders, one hand diving into his hair and urging the kiss to deepen. He moans into my mouth as his tongue seeks mine out, swirling and dancing in rhythm with my own.
Finally, I’ve had all I can take. Needing to feel his skin, I reach down to the hem of his shirt and slide it up his chest, breaking the kiss to get it over his head. When I drop his shirt onto the floor, our eyes meet. The usually frosty blue is somehow darker, smoldering. His lips are glistening with moisture, and his chest is heaving in and out with every breath. The warning bells are going off big time. This man is so going to break my heart. And I’m going to let him.
Deciding it’s only fair, I hold my arms straight up until he takes the hint to take my shirt off, too. He inches it up slowly, his eyes never leaving mine except for when it slips over my face. Even then, they find them again immediately.
“You’re so beautiful, Callie.” His voice is hoarse, barely audible. “And so damn perfect it kills me.”
I reach out to bring him closer until we’re chest to chest, skin-to-skin. Nuzzling my face into his neck, I take a slow, deep breath, taking in the warm scent that belongs only to him.
He follows my lead, doing the same. “You smell like me,” he whispers against my neck while his hands skim up my back.
“I like it,” I whisper back.
Wes straightens and kisses me softly. “It smells way better on you.” He stares at me for a long moment before groaning and lowering his chin to his chest. “Damn it, Callie. What are we doing?”
“Do you really need me to spell it out for you?”
“I’m being serious. You don’t want this. Not with me. I warned you from the beginning that I can’t give you more than this, and I can’t help wondering if you think you can be the one to change me. Trust me on this . . . it won’t happen. I need to be 100 percent sure that you realize that.”
I shake my head. “Wes.”
“No, I’m serious. Tell you what, I’m going to go into my room and give you a few minutes to think about it. And I really want you to think long and hard about what you’re getting yourself into. I’m not saying that it’s impossible for me to fall for you. I just want to make it clear that, if I do, I have no trouble walking away the minute the thought pops into my head. I’m not going down that road again.” He pushes away from the counter. “That’s how it has to be. You may end up hating me and will be relieved when that day comes. Hell, it may even work for us to just stay friends and have this, too. I just want you to be prepared for what could happen. Take a few minutes. Take an hour if you need it. Just let me know if you want to go or stay.”
He stalks toward his room, leaving me sitting on the counter, topless. I’ve known the hard facts all along, so I can’t help wondering if he’s afraid of the outcome. If he’s scared that it might sting a little when it comes time to walk away. Now that I think about everything he’s said, maybe the real truth is that he needs to know he’s wanted. Perhaps he wants someone to stop him from walking away for once.
By the time I hear his bedroom door close, I’m off the counter and jogging to his room. I push the door open just as he’s sitting on the side of the bed, and I rip into him. “I’m not like any of these other women you’ve been with Wesley Baxter. I know the risk. Yeah, it’s going to end, and it’s probably going to suck for one or both of us. I get that. But for once, you need to take ownership for the decisions made in your life. If you don’t want this to go any further between us, then say so. If you do, I’m making it abundantly clear to you that I want you. I want this. And if I end up hurt, so be it.”
He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “You never cease to amaze me. You know that? Every single time you call me out, I’m just as dumbfounded as the first time. I mean, you’re standing there, only wearing my boxers and looking hot as hell, and all you’re concerned about is setting me straight.”
“I can’t help it if you’re a stubborn ass sometimes.”
“It takes one to know one,” he chuckles and looks up from under his long fringe of lashes. “You want this. You’re sure.” It’s not a question. Just a simple confirmation.
I’m a fan of actions speaking louder than words, so I give the boxers one little tug, which is all the encouragement they need to fall to the floor at my feet. “Are you sure?”
As Wes’ eyes rake over my body, his throat works, fighting for one seemingly impossible syllable. His mouth opens and closes, but there’s still no sound. All I get is a curt nod. Yes, my friends, I can finally say the stone just cracked.
With my bravery fueled by the stunned look on his face, I saunter toward him, but before I can make it halfway to the bed, he jumps up to meet me in a kiss that has me forgetting everything. I forget the ticking time bomb awaiting us. I forget the fact that it’s going to hurt like hell when it detonates. All I can do is live in the now, to let the present consume me. If we only have a short time together, I’m going to make sure every second is worth it.
Lost in his kiss, I barely register that he’s staggering backward toward the bed. He bends and hooks an arm around my back, picking me up, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. I cling to him helplessly until he lowers me onto the bed and settles in beside me. He urges me closer until we’re just a tangle of limbs, and there’s not even a fraction of a space between us.
Wes shocks me by cupping my cheek and kissing my forehead and then the tip of my nose before his gaze finds mine. His eyes hold more than lust. There’s admiration in there. There’s a raw sensuality that I wonder if anyone has ever seen before. And unless I’m completely delusional, there’s a hint of promise hiding in there, too.
Without a warning, I feel it all click into place, and I have to swallow down the lump forming in my throat. He’s made it clear that the moment he starts to feel something, he bolts, so if he’s registering at all what I just felt, tonight is all we’ll ever have.
And given the urgency behind his next kiss, I know he realizes it, too.
MY FEARS ARE confirmed when I wake up alone. Even after being awake into the wee hours of the morning, he’s still out of bed before seven o’clock, but I expected it. I knew he felt what I felt. I could see it. He knew just as well as I did that it would be our first and last night together, and he made it count. Several times.
But just because I saw it coming, it doesn’t make it any less depressing. Then again, I guess I asked for it repeatedly, claiming I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. Yeah, stupid, don’t feel so smart now, do you?
Maybe I’m wrong. He could’ve just had trouble sleeping and is watching television. Or he might be making breakfast for me. Or doing laundry. Or . . . yeah.
“Don’t be so damn ignorant,” I growl at myself, rolling over on my side. The little folded slip of paper on the nightstand is all I need to know that I’ve been right all along. The realization of it settles into my stomach like a lead ball.
Callie,
I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to get out and run some errands. I have to go up to my folks’ house to pick up some stuff, too. I’m going into the office this afternoon, so I’ll drop you by your place on the way. If Shane happens
to be going that way any earlier, he will take you. Feel free to find something to wear in my closet if you want. Not sure when I’ll get time to see you again, so if I don’t see you before you go home, have a good week.
Wes
Wow. Well, that’s a brush-off if I’ve ever seen one. He’s even trying to get out of taking me home? I thought this personality was long gone, but it seems like Tall, Dark, and Moody just stepped back into the picture with his walls fully reconstructed.
That’s fine, though. It’s better to deal with all of this now before I really fall hard. Maybe, I shouldn’t fault him for pushing away so quickly because, if he’d let this go on for a few months, I’d be bawling my eyes out instead of just wanting to claw his out. Bastard.
I’m not going to inconvenience him by making him take me home, either. I’ll just give Makenna a couple more hours of sleep, and I’ll call and see if she’ll come get me. She’ll know something is up, but then again, she’ll know anyway once she doesn’t see Wes coming around or calling me. All I can do is try to make her think it was nothing more than a one night stand—which I guess it actually was—and that Wes and I will remain friends, nothing more.
See? I have it all worked out, so now I can go back to life as I know it. Back to normal. Back to the way things were before he swooped in and, in a matter of days, managed to change everything I thought I knew about myself. He—and all of his stupid personalities—can just swoop right back out.
Okay, so I’m bitter.
I finally get the motivation to roll out of bed and put on the t-shirt and boxers that he folded neatly and laid at the foot of the bed. As I walk through the eerily quiet house, I take notice of the perfectly annoying order that everything has been left in. I normally like everything to be organized, but I can’t help but feeling like it’s all a ruse. He’s a control freak on the outside to cover up the screwed up mess on the inside.
Deciding I need some caffeine before I go off the deep end, I’m searching through the pantry for some coffee when I hear the crunch of gravel under tires. I have to give him a little credit. I thought for sure he’d be gone for hours before daring to show his face to see if I gave up and went home.