Wrangled

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Wrangled Page 7

by Natasha Stories


  “Naw, Annalee, he ain’t dead. Come on, now, let’s get you in the house.”

  Sitting in the kitchen with Janet fussing over me, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, it seemed like hours before I heard the wail of the siren. Red lights flashed on the window panes for a few minutes, and then the siren started up again and Cody was gone. I hadn’t even gotten to kiss him. That’s when I broke down in tears.

  Janet handed me a clean hanky, and left the room for a minute. When she came back, she had my four sister-wives with her, along with Charity. They all crowded around, wanting to know what had happened, but I couldn’t make it out in my mind’s eye. Cody was riding…and then he was flying. And then he was lying on the ground, out cold if not dead.

  Charity said, “He isn’t dead.”

  “How do you know?” Amber asked, just before I would have.

  “Because the siren’s on. If he were dead, they wouldn’t use the siren.”

  For the longest time, I strained to hear the siren as it faded into the distance. As long as I could hear that, my Cody was still alive. Once I’d calmed down and stopped crying, the girls all went about their business, but Charity stayed to talk to me.

  “Do you know what his injuries are, Annalee?”

  “No. There was a big ugly lump on his head, and a gash. I heard Russ tell someone on the phone that his leg was in a funny position, I think. What would that mean?”

  “Probably that it’s broken. Hey,” as I started crying again, “honey, stop it. You need to pull yourself together. If he’s badly injured, he’s going to need someone to take care of him. Are you up to it?”

  “Oh, yes, Charity, of course I am! Will that be okay?”

  “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. For right now, let’s go see which room to give him if he needs any nursing.”

  Charity kept me busy until Russ came back in and spoke to her quietly. She turned to me and said, “Hank called. They have him resting comfortably, and the doctor’s looking at the x-rays, but it looks like his leg is broken badly. If I bring you what you need, can you get this room ready for him?”

  “Yes, I can do that,” I said as sturdily as I could. I didn’t want Russ to see me being a ninny any more. The two of them left, and I caught a look of concern as Charity turned her head to look up at Russ. I almost asked then what they were keeping from me, but I figured they would deny it. Besides, I didn’t think I could take any bad news right then. Charity was back in a few minutes with clean sheets and towels, and Russ followed her with a few things for Cody’s comfort, including a little bell he could use to call me in from the classroom or the playroom.

  As I reached for the linens, I sent Russ a pleading look, and he heaved a big sigh. “Sit down, Annalee.”

  I looked around and spotted an easy chair in the corner, so I went over and sat in that, then looked at Russ wordlessly.

  “Annalee, there’s a possibility that Cody could be very badly hurt.”

  I gasped, and clasped my hands together up by my throat.

  “You need to be strong for him, if you have feelings for him. He hit that fence post hard enough to break his neck.” Russ held his hand up as my mouth dropped open. “Hang on. We don’t know that he has, but I can just about guarantee his leg has a compound fracture. Right now, he’s still unconscious. I’ll let you know as they update me. Charity says you want to take care of him if that’s necessary.”

  I nodded, unable to form a sentence. “Have you ever nursed an injured person?”

  “Not really. I mean, sometimes people got sick, and I’d take care of them. We all did.”

  “Well, if he needs skilled nursing care, we’ll have to get a real nurse out here, but I guess maybe you can see if you can help. If not, let’s see how it goes. Men that get laid up around a ranch can be rough company.”

  “I don’t care, Russ. I love him.” That seemed wrong, somehow, telling Russ I loved Cody before I ever told Cody. But if that’s what it took to get them to let me do this for him, that’s what I’d have to do. Russ’s face changed, though. He looked like he was trying to make a decision, and it must have been about me because he was looking at me the whole time.

  “Okay. Let’s see how it goes,” he repeated. Then he patted my shoulder and left. I sat there for a few minutes thinking what it would mean if Cody’s neck was broken. I knew enough to know that could cripple him. Would he be paralyzed? I didn’t know how to judge that. All there was to do was stop thinking about it and get his room ready for him, whatever shape he was in.

  It was hours later when Charity woke me with a hand on my arm. I had finally climbed into my own bed and tossed and turned until I fell asleep. It might have only been minutes ago, for all I knew. Charity whispered, so she wouldn’t wake the kids in their beds. “Annalee, I thought you’d like to know that Cody is awake and has sent word to you that he’s going to be okay.”

  That was the best news I’d heard since I saw him flying through the air. “When will he be home?”

  “That we don’t know yet. The doctors still haven’t decided about his neck injury, and I don’t think they’ve set the leg yet. It could be a while.”

  As long as he was going to be okay, I could deal with whatever else came at us. I whispered thank you to Charity and turned over to try to get back to sleep so that I’d be ready to help when Cody came home.

  It turned out Cody didn’t have a broken neck, thank God, but he did have a neck sprain and a brace for it. And his poor right leg was in a full cast. I was going to need to take care of him, all right. He couldn’t get in or out of the bed by himself, he’d need to be bathed in bed, and someone would need to help him in the bathroom. I was ready to do all of that, but I knew he wouldn’t want me to. I didn’t even get to talk to him until late in the afternoon the day he came home, because by the time Russ got through in there and sent me in, Cody was sound asleep. I wrote him a note and put it under the bell, then went about my business.

  I was in the playroom with all of the kids and Amber and Ciara, when all of a sudden there came a racket from the other room; that bell was ringing like Cody was panicked about something. I dumped Tali off my lap where I was sitting on the floor, jumped to my feet and ran down the hall. Swinging through the door to his room and expecting the worst, I said with what breath I could catch, “Cody, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothin’,” he said, calm as could be. “The note said to ring the bell.”

  “Oh,” I said, breathing out all the panic. I was so relieved, I plopped down on the end of the bed before I scolded him for scaring me to death. We talked a bit more, and then he told me he was hungry, so I went to get his lunch. After he ate, I offered to take him to the bathroom, but he seemed embarrassed, so I backed off and told him when the time came to let me know and I’d get Russ.

  “We’ll see,” he said.

  Honestly, I don’t get men. They act like they never have to go to the bathroom, or get sad, or anything like that. Do they think we’re stupid? They’d have to be something besides human to live up to all the rules they set for themselves. I asked if he’d like me to stay and talk or read to him, but he said he’d rather watch TV, which kind of hurt my feelings. But, I figured he was tired, so I left.

  I was taking Tali back to the playroom after changing her diaper when the bell rang again, just once like I’d asked. I didn’t even think about what he would look like to her, I just thought he might need something right now, and it would take time to put her down in the playroom. So, holding her in my arms, I went into his room. My poor daughter took one look at the monster in the bed, that big brace around his neck looking like his head was floating somewhere above his body, and started having a fit. Cody looked like he couldn’t handle much more screaming, and I was trying to shush Tali. Finally, she stopped screaming, and he asked what he did wrong.

  That’s the thing about Cody. He’s so sweet, but if anything goes wrong around him, he thinks it’s because of something he did. Sometimes it drove me cr
azy. But, he was asking me to get Russ for him, because he needed to go to the bathroom. I was glad to be doing something useful for him, even if it only meant that he was willing to let me help now.

  As the weeks went by, the weather turned and all of a sudden we were mostly confined to the house again. The wind and snow were too much for the kids, except on the rare sunny days, when it was still cold as could be. As much as time dragged for us girls and the kids, though, I’m sure it was worse for Cody. Fall going into winter was some busy time for the hands, making sure all the hay was under cover and rounding up the cattle where they could be kept warm in a bunch. Once winter set in good, they’d be able to spend more time with Cody, but for now, all he had was me and the kids. He seemed to enjoy them, though. Tali had gotten used to his brace and didn’t scream anymore when she saw it. Al was fascinated by Cody’s cast and neck brace, asking questions about them over and over again. If Cody was impatient with answering a three-year-old’s repeated questions, he didn’t let on.

  Best of all, for me, was when I could put the kids to bed and then come back and snuggle in Cody’s arms, up on the bed with him. We figured out after a while how to get a kiss in here or there. Sometimes I thought he wished he could do more. Then there were the times I’d bathe him with a basin of warm water and a sponge, since he couldn’t get the cast wet in the shower. The first time, I know he was embarrassed because his penis got hard when I touched him there. I didn’t mind, though. I knew that’s what happened, when a woman touched a man there, even if it wasn’t for sex. So I tried to tell him it was okay, but he wouldn’t look at me.

  ~~~

  Before his accident, I thought Cody and I were getting close and might have sex soon, and I was ready. After I talked to Charity about the feeling that scared me, she came into my room one day and handed me some books and a DVD.

  “Annalee, your sex education has been neglected, so I got these for you. When Celeste is eighteen, pass them to her, but for now you study and learn.”

  “What is all this, Charity?”

  “The books are to understand your body and a man’s body and how they fit together.”

  “Well, I think I know how they fit together, Charity White. I have two kids, after all.”

  “Maybe so, Annalee, but you didn’t know that it’s supposed to feel good, did you?”

  I widened my eyes at her. “The Prophet always said that the pleasure was for the man, and the woman shouldn’t feel any. That it was a sin because it was woman that caused mankind to be cast out of the Garden.”

  “Bullshit,” Charity said. It was so comical! I couldn’t help but laugh. “Annalee, sex is one of the most beautiful things in life when you have it for the right reasons. One of those reasons is because it feels good, and you deserve to feel good. The other is to be close to the one you love, and the third is to make babies. You read those books, and then I want you to watch that DVD. It isn’t porn, but it shows some of the ways people make love.”

  “What’s porn?” I said.

  “Oh for god’s sake,” she replied. I didn’t know what to make of that. “Porn is short for pornography. It means pictures and videos of people fucking.”

  I gasped. I knew that word, but I didn’t think it ought to be coming out of Charity’s mouth.

  “Annalee, close your mouth, you’re going to catch a fly. It’s just a word. It can be a crude word, or it can be an intimate word, and I can tell you know what it means. Grow up.”

  Tears started leaking out of my eyes, then. There was so much I didn’t know. How would I ever fit in if I left the ranch? I asked Charity that question.

  She looked kinder then, like she was sorry she’d snapped at me. “I’m sorry, Annalee. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at your fucking ex-husband and his whole church. You deserved better.”

  This time when she said that f-word, I giggled a little. That might be fun to say sometime. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes, it was fun to say!

  “So, what’s the difference between this DVD and porn, Charity?”

  “Porn is for titillation. This is educational.”

  I didn’t know that big word, but I could guess what it might mean. “So this DVD won’t titillation me?”

  “Titillate. It might, but it’s not dirty. Yeah, it probably will. I watched it to make sure it was what I wanted for you, and it turned me on. That means the same thing as titillate.”

  Now I was more confused than ever, so I decided that I’d better stop asking questions before I didn’t know up from down. “Okay, Charity. Thank you for getting these. I’ll watch the DVD tonight.”

  “You’re going to want to wait until your babies are in bed asleep,” she warned me.

  I started reading the books right away, and I couldn’t believe people did all that together. When Celeste came in and caught me reading, I turned bright red and hid the book behind my back.

  “What’s that, Annalee.”

  “Never you mind, Celeste. It’s for me. When you’re older, I’ll let you look at it.”

  “Don’t be a pill, Annalee. What’s it about? Is it about sex?”

  “How’d you know that?” I accused.

  “That’s the only thing I could think of that would get you so twitter pated. Come on, let me see.”

  “No, not ‘til you’re eighteen. You’ve only got a couple of months to wait.”

  You’d never know she had a child of her own, the way she reacted to that. She stuck out her tongue at me and ran off, singing “Anna and Cody, sittin’ in a tree, K- I -S -S -I -N -G.” No, she was definitely not mature enough to handle this book. I went back to reading avidly.

  That night, after I got the kids to sleep and after I watched Cody train Abo and then kissed him for awhile in the barn, I went into my room and locked the door, turned the sound down low so all I heard was a whisper of the narrator who told what was happening. What I saw on that DVD made me ache and throb in places I didn’t know I had. I couldn’t wait to try some of that with Cody, if only he’d make a move to let me know he was ready. In the meantime, I learned how to pleasure myself, from the books and the DVD both.

  Once the kids were asleep, I’d start by remembering the kisses Cody gave me that night, and his hand brushing against the side of my breast. I always wished he would push it up under my shirt and squeeze my breast, but even though I invited him by pushing them forward, he didn’t. I’d put the DVD in the player and try to do to myself what the man did to the woman, as much as I could. I’d brush my own hands over my bare breasts, then caress and squeeze them until the nipples felt like they did just before my milk came down for Tali, kind of hungry to be sucked into the warmth of a mouth. Then I’d twist and pull at them until they tingled and I ached for a man’s lips and tongue on them, like in the DVD. That usually made something down between my legs twitch, and I’d reach down to feel the folds and moisture there.

  It was a source of wonder to me that I never knew about all that down there before, not really, I mean. It’s not like you can see it, unless you get in front of a mirror, but I never thought to do that. The first time I was with my husband, it surprised me that there was a space he could put his hard penis in and it would fit, even though it burned and hurt until I got used to it. But I still didn’t ever think about putting my fingers in there to see what it felt like. Now I did, though. I put my fingers in to feel the warm, squishy insides and paid attention to where else I was having feelings. It was funny to feel my fingers with my insides, and my insides with my fingers. Tingles and waves ran up my belly outside and in and made the muscles squeeze my fingers. I pushed them in and out, and the tingles got stronger.

  Watching the DVD, I’d see where the man parted the woman’s folds and found a little knob thing, called a clitoris according to the narrator. She seemed to really like it when he stroked that, so I tried it, and barely kept from yelling out and waking my kids. That was like a bolt of lightning hit me right between my legs, especially when I learned to bring some of the slickness from inside m
e to spread around. Now I didn’t have enough hands, because I wanted one for each breast, to squeeze and twist the nipples, and one to touch that little knob, and another one to push inside of me.

  I settled for pinching one nipple and then the other, moving back and forth whenever one got numb and the other called for some attention, while stroking the knob and circling it with my finger faster and faster, dipping in for more slickness whenever I seemed to need it. I forgot all about the DVD, focused entirely on myself. If the house had caught fire, the babies and I would all have died because I didn’t know anything except that drive to stroke harder and faster, until my body suddenly tensed and some kind of electric shock ran through me. After that, I laid on the bed, shaking and rocking back and forth, wishing for all I was worth that Cody’s arms were around me. And then, I cried, that first time. I didn’t know then and I still don’t know why it made me cry. It was just too much to take in, I guess.

  It took me quite a few tries to watch that DVD all the way through, each time seeing something I had missed before when I got too involved with my own pleasure to keep watching. Every night, I’d watch Cody in the corral, work myself up by kissing him passionately in the barn, and then rush back to my room to watch that DVD and find my bliss. The only thing I hated was that it would have been so much better with Cody’s hands on me instead of my own.

  The other thing about not having a man to do these things with was there were some things that the woman was doing to the man that I couldn’t try. I just about died the first time I saw her bend down and put her mouth on his penis. That was nasty, wasn’t it? But, from the look on her face and the look on his, maybe there was more to it than met the eye. I watched that part over and over until my mouth watered, wishing I had a chance to do that for Cody and see his eyes roll back in his head like that and hear him moan. I shivered a little, wondering if he would like it like the man in the DVD, wondering what it tasted like, what it smelled like.

  One night, I risked turning up the sound enough so I could hear the people that were having sex, not just the narrator, and hoped it wouldn’t wake the kids. That made a whole new experience in watching it. I did it because the narrator said something about some people finding sex was enhanced when they talked and used sex words while they had sex. I guessed that enhanced meant made it better. I could remember my ex-husband muttering some words when we were together, and I thought they sounded like that f-word, but it just never seemed like he’d say those words, even if we did sometimes hear them from the other men when they were working.

 

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