~~~
Between my regular work and the studies Russ had me doin’ every night, there wasn’t much time to go into town and see Annalee. It fretted me some, ‘cause I didn’t know how close Annalee was gettin’ to Jason Clark. Russ had finally told me his name, after I threatened to go into town and look for her in every real estate office. But he made me promise not to start nothin’. Said a businessman couldn’t afford no personal fights, and there was better ways. I meant to study hard and find out those ways, sooner or later.
Saturday, I hurried through my chores, ‘cause Russ told me to take a break from the studyin’ and I wanted to borrow the rig and go into town. I’d try to talk to Annalee, and I’d try to make nice with Celeste and Ciara, too. If it all went good, maybe we could take the kids to the park and let ‘em play on the slides and stuff.
It was about mid-afternoon, time I got there. The day was warm but not too hot, one of those few perfect fall days that was the only good weather we ever got. I knocked on the door at Annalee’s house, and Ciara come to answer it.
“Why, Cody Wayne! What are you doin’ here?” she said, but it wasn’t unfriendly.
“I come to say howdy and see if Annalee’d talk to me a bit, maybe take the kids out for a treat,” I said.
“You know she’s engaged to Jason Clark, don’t you Cody?”
“I do, but does that mean she cain’t talk to no other man? An old friend?” I tried to smile, make it look like I wasn’t desperate, but maybe Ciara seen right through me.
“I’m not sure she’d want to talk to you, Cody, but the fact is, she isn’t home. Neither are the kids.” Ciara’s eyes looked kind, like she mighta known that would disappoint me.
“Any notion when she’ll be back?” I asked.
“No, can’t say when she’ll be back. She and Jason took the kids over to Cheyenne to a carnival. They probably won’t be back before dark.”
That just about done me in, the thought that he’d be the one to show them kids a good time, instead of me. I never had no chance to take ‘em to the carnival, nor to take Annalee out for that matter. “Oh,” I said. Weren’t much more to say. I didn’t want to make a pest of myself and ask to stay ‘til she got home. Didn’t think Celeste would go for it anyhow. “Thanks, Ciara.”
“You’re welcome Cody. I’m sorry,” she added.
“You are?” Somehow, it would make me feel better to know that Ciara was on my side.
“I am. I wonder if she’s doing the right thing, marrying Jason for the sake of the kids.” Ciara looked like she might say more if I give her half a chance.
“What do you mean…she don’t love him?”
“No, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t. Sometimes I think she doesn’t even like him. But she has this idea that if she can’t pay Al’s hospital bill, the authorities might come and take her kids.”
“What? No way!” I said.
“It’s what she thinks,” Ciara insisted.
“Ciara, would you do me a favor? Would you tell her I come by, and that Russ and I have got a business we’re gonna run as partners. I can support her now.”
“Is that so? Well, she may be glad to hear it, but she’s about to marry Jason in just three weeks.”
“Just tell her, please? And tell her I love her.”
“Doesn’t she know that already?”
“I ain’t never told her so in so many words,” I said, hangin’ my head. “I’d like to tell her in person, but I cain’t stay out that late with Russ’s rig. Tell her I’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Okay, Cody, but don’t expect much. She’s wearin’ a diamond ring that Jason put on her finger. I don’t know if telling her you love her will top that.”
“Just tell her, please?”
“I said I would. See you tomorrow.”
Seemed like that was the best I was gonna be able to do tonight, so I went on home, dreamin’ about kissin’ Annalee and smashin’ that guy in the face with my fist.
The next day, I put on my best clothes and asked Russ to borrow the rig again. The minute he said yes, I tore outta there like a bat outta hell. I was knockin’ on Annalee’s door less than half an hour later, ranch road or no ranch road. This time it was Annalee answered it.
“Hi, Cody.”
“Hi, Annalee. Did Ciara…” She didn’t give me time to finish.
“Yes, she gave me your message. Cody, why didn’t you ever say that before? I loved you. I would have been glad to hear you loved me.”
“Aw, sweetheart, it ain’t an easy thing to say, ‘specially if you got no way to take care of a wife and a coupla youngun’s. But now I do, I mean I will. Russ is gonna stake me in a business. Didn’t he call you yet?”
“You mean about a small ranch? Yes, he did. But he didn’t say it had anything to do with you.”
“It’s for me, Annalee. Me and you, I mean. I’m gonna run a business trainin’ ropin’ horses, since that’s the only thing I’m good at.” It all come out in a rush, ‘cause to tell the truth, the strawberry smell of her hair was makin’ me a little crazy. I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to kiss her.
“But Cody, I’m getting married in a few weeks.”
“You can tell him you changed your mind, that you don’t love him. That you love me instead. You do love me, don’t you, Annalee? Tell me I wasn’t dreamin’ all those nights.” I never meant to beg, but there I was doin’ it, and I mighta dropped down to my knees if she hadn’t put her little hand on my chest to stop me talkin’.
“You weren’t dreaming, Cody, but I’ve made a promise. I can’t take it back now. I’m sorry, it’s too late.” Tears was brimmin’ up in her eyes. Like to have broke my heart.
“You don’t love him, sweetheart. You cain’t marry him. You don’t owe him nothin’.”
“There’s where you’re wrong Cody Wayne. I owe him a lot. More than I can ever repay. Please go, I can’t do this.”
“Annalee, I ain’t gonna give up. And I ain’t gonna let you marry him. No matter what it takes.”
“Please go.”
There weren’t nothin’ left to do but go. But I wasn’t makin’ idle threats. I wouldn’t let her marry him, if I had to kill him to stop it.
Chapter 12
After Cody left, I looked around fearfully for Jason’s car. In the week since I’d said yes to his proposal and then upset him by demanding he use a condom, he’d acted so different from his normal behavior. He wouldn’t leave me alone with a male customer, telling me that many a female real estate agent had been raped and murdered by male clients they met at empty listings. Whenever we went anywhere, he kept his big hand on the back of my neck, steering me here and there, staring at any man who gave me a second glance until he looked away. I never did get my hair cut. Jason said he wouldn’t hear of it.
None of this was fun anymore. The burning desire I’d felt for him that first time was washed away in the knowledge that I might as well have stayed in Bethel City. Sure, there were no sister wives here, but that didn’t mean he’d be faithful to me. I was willing to give him my body and soul for the sake of my kids, but he seemed to have no interest in anything about me but sex. I even tried to ask about his family, whether he missed his parents, but he didn’t want to talk about them. Like he had once before, he said, “Water under the bridge.”
This time, I asked him what he meant. “Nothing. Just that old people die and young ones take their place. I just got my business a little earlier than I would have otherwise.”
“Weren’t you sad they died, Jason?”
“Not particularly. Didn’t make any difference to me.” I knew something was terribly wrong with Jason inside, but I didn’t have the experience or knowledge to know what it was.
In the office, he was the same as he’d been before we started seeing each other. I began to think part of my life was a dream while the other was reality, and I wasn’t sure which was which. At nine a.m., I’d arrive for the day, and he’d come in with coffee and muffins at ten. After lunch, I
could go on listing calls, but only if he knew where I’d be at all times. He said it was for my safety. Or, he’d have me go on listing calls with him, to train me he said, though I thought it was to keep an eye on me. Then he’d take me home, and I’d feed the kids and get them ready for bed before he was back to take me out.
He usually took me to dinner first, but we always ended up back at his house, in his bedroom, with me stripped and vulnerable, and him free to do anything he pleased. Usually, he’d start by making me strip so he could look at me. He’d take my hair out of its confining pins and clips and spread it around me like that picture of Venus on a shell that I saw in one of the books we studied at the ranch.
Then he might take out his penis and have me suck it, kneeling in front of him naked while he stood with his legs spread and all his clothes still on, his cock sticking out of his pants like a flag. Other times, he wanted me to stand completely still, while he ran his hands over me, pinching my nipples and poking his fingers inside me. Sometimes he even made me wear some handcuffs he had, with fur all around them. He’d make me put my hands behind my back for that.
The one thing he never did was make love to me. I didn’t dare ask why, knowing that this was all about the condom incident. I was afraid that if I asked, he’d take it as an invitation, and what if he still didn’t have any condoms? I hated every minute he spent poking and prodding me, though my body betrayed me by responding to the stimulus, and he crowed about it.
“Look here, Anna, you’re all wet for me,” he’d say, after sucking at my nipples and playing my clit. But, when he pinched and twisted or bit my nipples, it was all I could do to keep from screaming in pain. Instead I bit the insides of my lips until they bled. He laughed when he thrust his tongue into my mouth and tasted the coppery tang.
I began to fear for my life and the lives of my kids when he took us to the carnival and put Tali in the Ferris wheel seat with Al even though she was too little. When I told him that, he said, “She’s fine.”
But Tali started crying and throwing a fit, so we got her off, and then Al decided he didn’t want to go by himself. I asked Jason to take us home after that. He seemed annoyed, so I told him I’d leave the kids with my sisters and go with him somewhere else if he wanted.
“Why do you call them your sisters?” he snapped. “They aren’t your sisters, stop calling them that.”
“Jason, please. I don’t know what else to call them. They’re closer than friends. They are my sisters.” I could tell he was displeased, though, because he clamped his lips together, and when he left us at the house, he said goodbye as if it were final.
After Cody’s visit, I started thinking about all that. What I needed was to have a talk with Russ. Maybe he’d know what to think of Jason’s strange lack of feeling was all about. Meanwhile, wedding plans went on all around me as if I weren’t involved in them. It was surreal.
~~~
“I just have the feeling that something’s terribly wrong with him,” I said, after explaining to Russ and Charity that I was having misgivings about marrying Jason. I had met them at a small, twenty-acre property with an older but nicely-kept house and a barn on it. From what the sellers had told me, it would be ideal for what Russ was looking for, for a new business according to what Cody had told me. I still didn’t quite understand what the details of the business were, but it didn’t matter, as long as the zoning matched up.
“Are you sure you aren’t just getting pre-wedding jitters?” Russ asked. How could I tell him about what Jason did with me in the bedroom? It was too embarrassing.
“Russ, would you mind if I talked to Charity alone, just woman to woman?” I said.
“Of course not. I’ll go take a look at the barn.”
“Thank you.”
When Russ had left, I turned to Charity, and to my horror, burst into tears.
Alarmed, she grabbed me and wrapped her arms around me. “Honey, what is it? You can tell me.”
“Charity, he…he…Oh, my God, he’s worse than Jed!”
Charity’s face grew hard, and she snapped, “What’s he doing to you? I’m going to kill the bastard!”
“It’s not what he’s doing,” I said, “it’s how he’s doing it.” Slowly, I began with Jason’s weird behavior about my hair. Charity’s face cleared, but darkened again when I told her about our first time and how he’d reacted when I told him to use a condom. By the time I got to kneeling blowjobs, handcuffs and sexual humiliation, she looked ready to kill after all.
“No wonder you’re having misgivings!” she exclaimed. “He sounds like a monster. That’s it, Annalee, you can’t marry him.”
“But, Charity, how can I not? He’s given me a career, he’s willing to take on my debts, I owe him something!” I wailed.
Charity took me by the shoulders with both hands and gave me a little shake, looking intently into my eyes. “You don’t owe him that. We’ll have to figure out what to do about Al’s hospital bill, but I’m going to tell Russ what an asshole Jason turned out to be. You can bet he’ll have something to say about it.”
“Oh, please don’t tell him about the sex! Charity, I’ll die of embarrassment.”
“No you won’t. I’ll try not to tell him the details, but you know Russ. When he gets mad, no one messes with him.”
“Tell me about it,” I said, laughing in spite of myself. It was Russ getting mad that had brought me to the ranch with my sisters. That reminded me of what Jason had said, so I told Charity that, too.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Russ will get to the bottom of it,” she told me.
Russ came back then, and we all went through the house. Like most of the houses around Rawlins, it was a boxy brick ranch style house built in the 1960s. A living room, kitchen, three bedrooms and one bath were on the main floor. This one had its basement finished, with a family room, laundry area, and another bedroom with an attached bath. The current owners had also renovated the kitchen, a big plus in my opinion. Instead of dark, tiny cabinets and drawers stacks, there were ash fittings from IKEA, with big drawers for the pans and soft-closing doors on the shelving. Granite countertops and glass tile backsplashes looked easy to keep clean, and the floors were fourteen-inch tiles with warming lines underneath.
“I could love a kitchen like this,” I said to Charity.
“Who wouldn’t?” she replied.
“How was the barn?” I asked Russ.
“Adequate. We’ll need to build a bigger and better one, but this one will do for a start. I think this will do, Annalee, but I want Cody to see it first,” he said.
“Do you mind telling me what this is all about?” I asked.
“Not at all. Cody came to me with a business idea. I did a little investigation, and I think it will be profitable. You know that’s what I do, right?” he asked.
“No, I mean, what is it you do exactly?” I asked, confused by the change of subject.
“I fund businesses that look profitable, and I get a piece of the business in return,” he explained, in what I was certain was an oversimplification.
“Oh, okay. So you are part-owner of several businesses?”
“You could say that.” His droll delivery sent Charity into gales of laughter. She’d been holding back for several minutes.
“Ask him how many,” she prodded, still giggling.
“Uh, how many?” I asked.
“Um, when this one gets going, it’ll be number thirty.”
I must have looked stunned, because Charity stopped giggling and said as solemnly as she could, “He’s an angel investor. That doesn’t mean he’s an angel,” she continued, winking at him, “but the people he loans money to think he is.”
“Uh huh,” was all I could manage.
“Sometimes he’s a devil,” she stage-whispered, causing Russ to clear his throat and mock frown at her.
“Okay, you two. You’d better go home. I don’t know what the sellers would think if I allowed that kind of behavior in their house.”
> “No bed, anyway,” Charity laughed. “Next time show us an occupied house.”
We went our separate ways, but as soon as they left, I resumed my worrying and wondering what I should do about my life. It seemed I’d made a mess of it. What would I do if Russ turned up something really bad in Jason’s past? I shivered as I thought about the two times he’d chilled me with his careless attitude toward his parents’ deaths. There was something wrong there, but I couldn’t imagine what.
They hadn’t been killed by guns or poison or anything like that. It was an accident, a logging truck came out of nowhere and broadsided their car, killing them instantly. Jason had heard the news only an hour later, while he was out with friends he’d been with all day. The investigation turned up faulty brakes in the truck, and no one had been charged, though the logging company had been fined. Deciding I was overreacting, I put those thoughts aside, but I knew I wouldn’t risk my children to his sole care. Even if he had no evil intent toward them, he wasn’t attuned to their safety. Look what he’d almost done with Tali, and I’d almost let him. Well, that wouldn’t happen again.
I’d leave it in Russ’s capable hands, and decide what to do if and when he had more information for me. But if nothing turned up, I didn’t have much choice but to marry Jason. That hospital bill alone was the deciding factor, though the Cons list had grown to the same length as the Pros. Eighty-four thousand dollars and some change was worth a little worry and humiliation, wasn’t it?
Chapter 13
Russ came into the barn late one afternoon and said, “Cody, can you spare a minute?” I still wasn’t used to bein’ treated like a partner instead of an employee, in spite of the fact that we hadn’t started the business yet. I guess Russ wanted to get me thinkin’ like a boss before I hired me any hands for the trainin’ business.
“Sure, Russ. Be right there.” I finished inspectin’ the brood mare I’d been lookin’ at, and told Bill to make a note to call the vet to confirm she was pregnant. “What’s up?” I said to Russ when I met him outside the barn.
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