'Yes, but… '
'I'll get my solicitors on to it. You mustn't feel that this is done only because of Simon. I always understood that there was a provision for you in his will, a fund of some sort. Since this hasn't come to light I feel it's only right I should make some money available to you in compensation.'
'You didn't run off with the money, if there ever was any, that is?' 'I called in a debt. It's possible that he liquidised the money he'd invested for you in order to pay it off.’
'If he owed you money it was yours by right.'
'I want to help you,' he said quietly. 'I'd like to take care of you.' She looked into his eyes and knew what he meant. 'I'm sorry but very soon baby will make two. I don't think you'll want to take care of us both!'
'You underestimate me. I shall make sure you both have a suitable little house ready and waiting when you leave here. After that, we'll just have to wait and see.'
'A house?' She was stunned, and felt tears in her eyes.
He touched her lightly on the cheek. 'You're overwrought at the moment. It won't be a mansion, and neither will it leave me penniless! Now I really must be going. Business calls, I'm afraid, but once I heard you were worrying about money I knew I had to set your mind at rest.'
'Will you come and see me again?' 'Would you like me to?'
She sensed it was an important question and hesitated. 'Of course,' she said at last. 'I never see anyone at the moment.'
'And even I'm better than no one?'
She smiled. 'That wasn't what I meant. I'm very grateful to you and feel better already.'
'Then I'll certainly come again. Just take care of yourself, and don't worry about anything, will you promise me that?' She nodded, and with a final smile he departed, leaving behind the same scent of expensive cologne that she'd noticed in the library so long ago.
Tranquilised, isolated and safe in her small room, she didn't question his motives as she would normally have done, and didn't think about any long-term relationship with him. All she did was look forward to his visits and nurture the baby she was longing to hold in her arms. Someone of her own at last.
On Friday 13th March, the baby was born. Lisa's labour was long and difficult but her daughter was beautiful and weighed a healthy 8lbs. She had a mass of dark hair, very smooth skin and an unusually mature look in her eyes. Lisa named her Jessica, and had never been so happy in her entire life. She remained happy for at least three hours, until it was time for Jessica’s first feed.
The trouble was that Jessica didn't seem to understand what breasts were for. She simply lay in Lisa's arms, staring upwards and totally ignoring the nipples. Even when Lisa managed to insert one into the baby's mouth it was allowed to slip out again, and the problem was intensified by her broken arm which severely restricted her movements.
After a time one of the nurses came to see how Lisa was progressing. She found her tearfully imploring her daughter to try harder, and had to suppress a smile as she hurried to reassure this already over-anxious young woman.
'It doesn't matter if she's not hungry,' she smiled. 'I expect she's rather sleepy. Your milk will be through better tomorrow. She'll soon be as greedy as anyone could wish, just you wait and see.'
'I thought they suckled instinctively! She doesn't seem to understand what's going on.'
'We'll give her some glucose mixture from a bottle this time. It's done more these days for the first feed. The important thing is that you rest tonight. Tense mothers have tense babies, you know. They're very quick to sense if you're worrying, and it makes them anxious.'
'But I wasn't worrying, I was happy!'
'Come along, Jessica,' said the nurse briskly. 'How about some nice glucose while Mummy has a rest?'
'I want her sleeping here with me,' said Lisa quickly, 'not left in the nursery.'
'Are you sure? It's surprising how every little snuffle sounds like a train going by when you're first left with them!'
'I'm quite sure.'
'Then I'll bring her back when she's had the glucose. What a lucky girl you are, Jessica. Most of our mothers are very happy to get a few nights' peace and quiet.'
'I want her to know she's loved,' whispered Lisa. The nurse smiled, privately considering Lisa highly eccentric but trained to keep her thoughts to herself. When she returned, Lisa looked at her anxiously. 'Did she drink the glucose all right?'
'Like a lamb. She'll be fine tomorrow just as I said.'
It was true that her daughter's small sucking sounds and mewing noises kept Lisa awake, but she didn't care. At last she'd got what she wanted, and in any case she was too strung up to sleep. At six in the morning she put the baby confidently to her breast, but once again Jessica lay still and placid, showing no interest in the nipple.
'Come on, sweetheart!' urged Lisa. 'Don't be difficult, they’ll think it's my fault. Have a drink for Mummy.'
After ten minutes she rang for a nurse. It was a new one who was quite used to first-time mothers having feeding problems. She swiftly moved Jessica around until, with her head tilted at what even the nurse acknowledged to be a strange angle, she finally began to suck. She sucked strongly and well, but after four minutes when she was moved to the other breast she reverted to placid indifference and not even the nurse could find a position where Jessica was willing to continue feeding.
'Obstinate!' she laughed. 'Don't worry, she must have had enough or she wouldn't stop. Remember to start on that breast next time.'
Lisa put her daughter back in the cot and looked carefully at her. It was true that she was beautiful, far more so than most wrinkled newborn babies, but for some reason she felt uneasy. Whilst she was experiencing the most incredible love for her child, she had the peculiar sensation that her love wasn't going to be returned.
That evening, Neal came to visit. She'd just finished feeding Jessica—on one side only again—and the baby was lying peacefully next to the bed. 'She's lovely,' he said appreciatively, glancing down at the child. 'Far more beautiful than any of mine were at that age. You look beautiful as well,' he added softly. 'Motherhood suits you.'
She was so pleased to have someone to talk to that she scarcely noticed the compliment, although the enormous bouquet of roses that he handed to her was impossible to overlook and she rang for a nurse to arrange the flowers straight away.
'Do you really think she's all right?' she asked anxiously. 'Of course. Don't you? '
'I suppose she looks fine, but somehow she doesn't seem to… I don't know, respond I suppose you'd call it.'
He laughed, but kindly. 'What do you want? A conversation with her?'
'No! But I'd imagined that when you picked a baby up and cuddled it, you sensed that it felt happy and secure. When I pick Jessica up she just lies there like a doll. And she’s incredibly difficult to feed.'
'Let her have a bottle. That way you'll keep your figure better.' 'I'm not bothered about my figure!'
Neal was, but decided he couldn't really say so. Instead, he sat close to Lisa and took some papers out of his briefcase. 'I've had my solicitors working on your divorce. It will all be settled very discreetly. He won't deny either physical or mental cruelty, and he won't ask for any access to his daughter, although he's willing to pay a token amount of alimony if you want it.'
'I don't want it, but I might need it.'
'I think it's better to cut him right out of your life. If he pays maintenance and then at some future date decides he does want to visit Jessica, a judge might well feel he was entitled to do so.'
'Well, in that case I… '
'Fine, it's agreed he won't help maintain her.'
'Neal, I'll have to go out to work to support her if Toby doesn't pay me anything. I don't want her left with childminders.'
'Money won't be a problem. I've no intention of letting Simon's daughter live from hand to mouth.
Lisa sank back on the pillows and looked thoughtfully at him. 'I didn't know you were that close to Simon.'
'I'm afraid you kn
ew very little about him.' 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'I'm only saying that he didn't tell you every detail of his life, and anyway I rarely have personal contact with people who do business for me. I find it makes for a difficult situation should anything go wrong.'
'You mean he worked for you?'
'Sometimes. An antiques dealer works for a lot of people. If he was going to America and I happened to know of some particular painting that was coming on the market around that time, then I'd ask him to purchase it for me using his own name. It's better with a private art collection to maintain strict secrecy over purchases; otherwise theft can be quite a problem.'
'What exactly do you do?' she asked with interest. 'I'm a commodities dealer.'
'Copper, gold, that sort of thing?'
'Correct, but why are we talking business when I've brought some champagne to celebrate little Jessica's birth?'
He found some glasses in a cupboard beside her bed and together they toasted the sleeping baby's future. After two glasses, Lisa felt quite light-headed. 'Does your wife know you're here?' she asked with mock innocence, her front-fastening nightdress revealing rather more than she realised when she lay back.
Neal looked at the swollen creamy breasts and felt his mouth go dry. For some reason even the knowledge that she’d been Toby’s didn't bother him any more. He still wanted her, and he was going to have her however much it cost him.
'Naomi never asks me about anything these days. She spends all her time at our house near Iver in Berkshire. It's quiet there. She doesn't like London life—entertaining, theatre, shopping—it's a nightmare for her. As long as I go home regularly, she's quite content.'
'Why doesn't she like London?'
'She grew up in a quiet village in Greece, and her family were very poor. I'm afraid she doesn't like the lifestyle of the wealthy.'
'Then she shouldn't have married you!' Lisa stated with the cruel logic of the young.
'I was poor then. It's the usual boring story. I've spent a lot of time making money, and while I've been busy with my work she's brought up the girls while remaining basically the same person I married. I, on the other hand, have changed out of all recognition. It isn't her fault.'
'But difficult for you both?'
'For me certainly. I need someone in town to act as hostess and companion. For her? Not really, as long as she's allowed to live as she wishes, she's quite content.' Neal's ability to lie through his teeth with apparent sincerity was notorious but Lisa believed him. She might not have done except for the champagne, but as it was she accepted all he said. She also realised that the price of her small house and raising Jessica might be paid for by acting as hostess and companion when Neal was in town. The prospect wasn't displeasing. Provided that sex wasn't involved, she'd be perfectly willing to accept if he asked her.
'So how do you manage?'
'I've got a very good friend, Kay Masters, who stands in for Naomi as necessary.'
'Is Kay married?'
He laughed. 'Hardly! Not many husbands would be that complacent. No, Kay's totally free.'
Oh well, thought Lisa, wrong again. He didn't need her as a hostess. It was almost a disappointment. The sophisticated, powerful older man watched the emotions flicker across her face and was pleased. He'd sown the seed and then taken away the pressure. He'd return to the subject in time but leave now while she was relaxed and at ease. 'I've got a late night appointment and ought to be going. Is there anything you need at the moment? Mr Heywood says you can come out in another six days.'
'I'd like a good book. Something big but not too taxing on the brain. My concentration's gone at the moment, I keep looking at Jessica!' 'I'll drop in a few paperbacks. My wife's a romance fan, is that your genre?'
'No! Comedy or horror will do me nicely.'
'I'd have thought you'd had your fill of horror,' he said dryly, and then gave her the briefest of kisses on her forehead before leaving. That night she slept better than she had since Simon died.
The next morning, Steve arrived. She remembered how kind he'd been to her on the night Toby attacked her and tried to thank him but he brushed it aside. 'It wasn't anything, Mrs Walker. I was only doing my job.'
'You were marvellous. I'd have been in hysterics without your comforting presence.'
'Here are some books from Mr Gueras,' he said quickly, handing over a box that must have held at least twenty. 'If you don't like any of them he said he'd be ringing later and you could let him know.'
'Please thank him for me.' Her tone was cool now that she realised the young man no longer wished to be friendly.
'May I look at the baby?' he asked, sensing her change of mood and not wanting to offend.
'Of course, although she's probably asleep.’
'No, she's awake. Her eyes are wide open, she's obviously going to be very bright.'
'Unlike her father!'
He was surprised by the tartness of her tone. 'I suppose so. Good luck in the future.'
'Thanks. Oh, Steve?'
He turned, looking apprehensive. 'Yes, Mrs Walker?'
'Why don't you call me Lisa? I only wondered if you knew where this house of mine is going to be?'
'I'm afraid not.' She was sure he was lying, but guessed that Neal wanted to surprise her.
Turning her attention to the books she found them all excellent, and they kept her occupied during her spare time, which wasn't as much as she'd expected because for some reason bathing and dressing Jessica took a great deal longer then she'd anticipated.
'She's so passive!' she complained to Neal one evening as she struggled to put Jessica's limp legs into the babygrow.
'What did you think she'd do? Lift up her arms and put her hands down the holes?'
'No, but… '
'Lisa, how many babies have you handled before Jessica?'
'None.'
'And how many have I handled?' 'Three.'
'Then let me assure you that Jessica is perfectly normal, and you are setting ridiculously high standards for a five-day-old baby! God knows what you'll be expecting her to do in a year's time. Compose a symphony or something?' She laughed, but deep down she still wasn’t happy.
On the day that Neal collected her from hospital the paediatrician gave Jessica her final examination. He went over her from head to foot, checking and double checking because he'd been told about Lisa's worries. Finally he put the baby back in her cot and smiled. 'She's perfect in every way. Normal responses, excellent physical development, and if anything a little forward. You've nothing to worry about there, I assure you.'
'Why won't she let me move her from one breast to the other at feeding times?' demanded Lisa.
He shrugged. 'Perhaps she doesn't like change. Her weight gain's fine so it obviously doesn't matter.'
His first sentence was, if Lisa had but known it, a pointer to what was wrong, but it was to be a long time before the truth was revealed, and realising that to continue worrying against all advice was insane, Lisa finally accepted what everyone had been saying all along and told herself firmly that she was taking home a perfectly healthy, normal baby daughter.
At ten-thirty, Neal arrived with a case containing Lisa's clothes, all of them collected from Toby's flat, and a beautiful hand-crocheted shawl for Jessica.
The trio were escorted to the entrance porch where two nurses waited until the chauffeur had ushered them into the back of the car and settled himself behind the wheel before they gave a final wave and turned back to their duties.
Rebekah Geuras had been born in the same private hospital, but although both nurses remembered that, they made no comment, not even to each other. They knew how unwise it would be, and no other hospital offered such superb working conditions. In any case, Mr Gueras looked far more interested in this child—and its mother—then he had been in Rebekah, despite the fact that it was yet another girl.
Naturally they both thought he was the father of the child. This assumption was to be made by other peo
ple too, and wasn't discouraged by Neal until later, when the truth about Jessica finally came out.
'Where are we going?' Lisa asked, half-nervous and half-excited. 'To your new home.'
'But where is it? '
'Wait and see! Baby all right? '
Lisa hugged Jessica closer to her, telling herself that it was only natural for the tiny limbs to stiffen in protest against such sudden restriction. She was too young to realise it was a gesture of love and not aggression. 'She's fine. What did Toby say when he heard about her?'
'Who?'
' Toby! I just wondered… '
As the car slid to a halt outside a beautiful Chelsea mews cottage, Neal Gueras turned to the slender, fine-boned girl beside him and put one well-manicured hand lightly on her wrist. 'He's gone, Lisa. He's no longer part of your life. Forget him. As far as I'm concerned, Toby Walker never existed.'
She felt a flicker of apprehension. 'But he's Jessica's father! I can't forget him. She's even got his hair.'
'Then I'd prefer it if you kept your memories to yourself.’
Lisa looked out at the enchanting little whitewashed house and then at the heavy-boned intelligent face of the man next to her. For a moment she wished that there was a choice; that she wasn't so totally dependent upon his good will. Then he smiled at her, his eyes kind, his voice deep and reassuring.
'It's for your own good, my dear. After the things that he did to you, it's only sensible to put him firmly out of your mind.'
'I wasn't intending to conjure up action replays of our fights, I'm not a masochist.'
'Lisa, this is the beginning of a new life for you and your daughter. That's all I'm trying to say. Toby doesn't belong in it any more.'
She nodded. He was right. Whatever lay ahead of her now it was quite obvious that Toby Walker wouldn't be a part of it, and for that she was extremely grateful. So grateful that she pushed the other worry, the worry over exactly what Neal would want from her in the future, to the back of her mind. He was a friend of Simon's and she had to stop thinking the worst of everyone.
If he wanted to help her, he could obviously afford it. For the moment, Jessica was her priority. With Neal's help she could spend as much time with Jessica as she liked, without any financial worries at all. It was an offer anyone in her position would find very hard to refuse. And so, holding her baby daughter in her arms, she climbed out of the sleek silver Rolls-Royce and up the two steps into the entrance hall of her new home, leaving Toby Walker behind her.
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