by Nicole Snow
I roll my eyes. I'm scared my brother's played too many games to take the military seriously, and he's going to get himself killed hamming it up.
“Not in Split Harbor,” I say. “This town doesn't have the skill to run a factory with robots, much less make them.”
Ryan looks at me while he bangs my brother's hand with his. “If you're not going to scamper off after dessert, Kara-bou, I'd be more than happy to sit here and talk all about local economics.”
He's challenging me to a debate. I want to stick my tongue out, but I'm supposed to be older and better by now. Immune to his teasing.
“Sorry, Ryan. I need to brush up on French before I turn in. Big test tomorrow.”
There's been plenty of teasing lately, too. Little remarks behind the garage when I come out for some fresh air, finding him back there on his break. He doesn't smoke like the older men, just leans against the wall, playing with his phone, studying lines of code that look as impenetrable as Egyptian hieroglyphics.
Nobody knows it except the two of us, but we walked into dinner with tension guaranteed after what happened the last time I saw him.
It's just my luck that everybody thinks I'm the second smartest person in our school after the boy genius. His very presence doesn't make me flush anymore like the sad little freshmen I used to be. I'll tolerate him, up to a point, but I'll never be comfortable.
Last week, we got into it over the school's funding for extracurriculars. I held my own.
He said the levies they passed last year, giving them a funding hike, were supposed to go directly to classrooms. I told him what happens after school is just as important. We need to fund sports and art programs, giving us a chance to round ourselves out before we hit college.
Ryan said I had a point, if only it was distributed equally, and the dance team had more chances to flash their short skirts in front of half the boys at school.
Like yours, Kara-bou. I remember how the bastard said it. Especially yours.
I hadn't blushed so hard since the day he dropped me off, savaged my dumb sketch, and called me cute.
Almost two years ago. Where does the time go? And what will another two bring?
“You know, dear, Ryan isn't the only one whose future should be under the microscope,” mom says, spreading butter on another piece of her awesome artisan bread.
“Shit, ma, you want to hear about boot camp again?” Matt's face lightens up, gloriously oblivious to the glare daddy aims his way for cussing at the table.
“Not just yet,” mom says sweetly. She reaches over and pats his hand, turning her attention to me. “I'm talking about our Kara-bou.”
My freshly eaten food gurgles in my stomach when she says Ryan's nickname. “What, the immersion school?”
“You're going straight there if they let you in, and I don't care how much it costs,” daddy says, looking happier than he has all evening. He's proud of something that hasn't even happened.
“Immersion school?” It's Ryan's turn to look glum. His baby blue eyes darken a shade as he looks at me, catching the light from an odd angle. “You mean you're leaving Split Harbor?”
This isn't his usual tone. His words are sharper, angrier, almost...betrayed.
I blink, surprised. “I haven't decided anything yet, honestly. It's not like it's official.”
“You're being modest.” Mom wags her finger. “If you want it, the letter last week practically said you're a shoe-in. Somebody at this table is going to Ann Arbor.”
I sigh, picking at the last of my mashed potatoes. I wonder why the bar is always so much higher for me than Matt, not that he's letting anyone down by serving his country. It's almost like being sent away to study something intense and respectable has been in the stars since day one.
But ever since I applied on a whim and took their assessment, thinking maybe I could wind up a teacher or translator, my parents have been waiting with baited breath.
They don't get it. Yes, I want a good education. I'm just not sure I want to jump on the first ticket to Paris and a fast track Masters I'm offered.
“Well, I'm going to follow up next week, if that makes you feel better,” I tell my parents, still glancing at Ryan. He's staring at his plate, quietly clearing the food, refusing to even look at me.
What's the deal? Did I say something wrong?
“Always had a feeling you'd graduate early,” mom says, a constant smile on her lips now. “If you do this, Kara, you'll be out in another year. Right on the heels of our boys.”
Ryan finally looks up and manages a smile. I think the way she says our boys, plural, really touches him somewhere beneath that mysterious, handsome mask he calls a face.
“Speaking of French, I really need to run. Can I be excused from cleanup tonight?” I ask hopefully, plastering on my biggest fake smile.
Daddy frowns disapprovingly. No matter how well I do, he isn't one to soften up, or grant any special privileges.
“I'll take over clean up tonight. Let her study,” Ryan says, sitting up extra straight. “It's the least I can do to say thanks for another home cooked meal.”
My father lets out a low growl, buckling to the pressure. I narrow my eyes, staring at Ryan, knowing he's just made an offer my perfectly polite parents won't refuse.
What I don't know is why. He's always done favors before, but he knows full well what the usual expectations are. He never gets between daddy and me.
“Thank you, son. Very kind. Matthew, go help your buddy,” daddy says, reaching for the rest of his beer in the bottle next to him. “Kara!”
I'm standing, halfway to the stairs, before I freeze, wondering what I missed. “Say thank you to our guest. He's taking your chores tonight, after all.”
I turn, one hand on the banister, and try my best to imitate Ryan's mysterious smirk. It must work, at least a little bit, because his gorgeous eyes widen a second later.
“Thanks for the dishes, Ryan. I owe you one.”
I turn around in a hurry as soon as the last part is out, racing upstairs. I'm not giving him a chance to wave it away like it's no big deal, especially when he's acting so strange.
Besides, if there's one thing I've learned when this boy is in the house, it's to avoid feeding his huge ego.
I wake up with my French book slumped over my chest. It's the third time this week I crashed out early, my sleepy teenage brain getting the better of my over-study habits.
About a minute passes before I hear the noise. It's dark in my room, and someone is gently knocking. Except it isn't coming from the door – it's my window.
I slide out of bed, pad across the room, and pop the window open. “Ryan?”
He lifts himself up, swinging his legs over the sill, crossing into my room. Why is he here? He should have left after hanging out with Matt hours ago.
“Why didn't you tell me about the immersion school, Kara?” he asks.
Kara. Not Kara-Bou. His face is flat and serious beneath the dim shadows in my room.
I'm more surprised that he cares so much, rather than the fact that he's standing here when he shouldn't be, just after midnight.
“Why do you think it's any of your damned business?” Crossing my arms, I glare at him.
I'm tired of the guessing games. I'm also blushing because I'm standing in front of him in my nightgown. It's a silky princess pink, a little more revealing than I'd like near the top.
Ryan reaches out, grabs my hand, and brings it to his chest. “Because I don't want to lose you, Kara. You're practically family. You and Matt are the only true friends I've got in this town, and your old man took me under his wing like one of his own.”
I'm stunned. The man who never likes to reveal anything actually has a heart.
Deep down, maybe I'm also a little annoyed that he doesn't see me as anything except a surrogate little sister.
“Who knows,” I say, letting him twine his fingers through mine. “None of this is set in stone. There's a good chance I'm going to wiggle out of it
. I don't know if I want to graduate early, miss my senior year, go away to Ann Arbor, and then the other side of the world. I –“
“Be serious. Your dad's right. Opportunity like this doesn't just fall into your lap every day. Not for people like us, here in these little towns nobody remembers except when it's time to go on a summer drive.”
“Well, it's my decision. Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of the pressure coming from everyone.” I pull my hand away and turn, leaning into the fresh air spilling through the open window.
He's behind me, and I know his eyes are all over me. I've been disappointed too many times to think he might be studying my curves, looking at me differently, like more than his best friend's tag along.
The trouble with treating him like family means I'm just the annoying little sister. Never anything more.
“Kara-bou,” he whispers.
Why won't he let this go?
His hand lands on my shoulder, and squeezes hard. “You're going to do great, whatever you wind up doing. You're as smart as I am. You've got your shit together. I have big plans I'm going to chase – won't be able to live with myself if I don't – but there's no guarantee they'll go anywhere. You don't have to take my questionable risks to live a great life, and I'm happy for you.”
I do a slow turn. My jaw practically hangs open. He's never been known for modesty when it comes to his genius. His hand stays on me, and when we're face-to-face again, I realize how close he is. Just inches apart.
“Thanks. Means a lot coming from Mister Perfect.” I'm trying to sound sarcastic, but I actually mean it. “I wondered why you were acting so weird over dinner. You never cut in like that to cover for me.”
“You needed the break. Things keep changing for everyone, and they're exciting. I'm on your side, Kara-bou. I know you're tired of everybody else breathing down your neck, telling you what to do. Never doubt it.”
“Uh, I never did. Even before you came through my window.” Remembering how he got here reminds me to keep my voice down to a low whisper.
We live in a modest house. Matt's room is next to mine, and my parent's isn't much further down the hall. If daddy catches him here, in the middle of the night, I don't want to imagine the consequences.
“There's something else,” he says, loosening his grip, pulling his hand away.
It's back a second later. Both of them.
Heat spikes through my blood as his arms go around me. For a second, I'm wrapped in his muscle, bathed in his beautiful eyes. Anxious for what's coming next, even though I've never felt safer in my entire life.
“Fuck it. Kara-bou, I'm just going to come out and say it, because I'd be kicking myself if I let you jet off to Paris next year without telling the truth. I love Matt, your ma, and your dad more than I do my own family. You, though...you're more than that. You're all I think about after I've wrapped up for the day and I lay down on that crappy couch they give me to sleep on.”
“Ryan...”
This is either a terrible idea, or the best thing that's ever happened. I'm scared to find out which. Fireworks are blooming in my young brain, and it seems like every sense has been heightened, like there's a steady current humming through my skin.
“No, don't say anything,” he tells me, gently bringing one hand to my face. “Let me take you out. We missed prom a couple months ago. We've got the whole summer ahead, and I'm cashing in my savings for a car soon. I want you by my side. We'll go wherever you want, see if this works, or if it's just in my head.”
Scared or not, I'm smiling. It's even cuter that he's doubting himself because I haven't said anything yet.
“As long as you have a plan to keep yourself from getting killed when daddy and Matt find out, I'm game. They're going to know what's going on as soon as I'm asking permission to hang out. I like you, too, Ryan, by the way.” I bat my eyes, a giddy warmth spreading through my veins.
He grins. “We don't need to worry about them.”
“Huh?” Panic shoots through my chest for about the dozenth time that night.
“I spoke to your family after dinner. Told them my intentions, and assured them I'd be the best boyfriend you ever had. They made it clear I'd be a dead man walking if I ever let you down – and I'd expect nothing less – but they gave me the nod.”
I can't believe it. I'm lost for words, too, so I just wrap my hands around his broad neck and bring myself in closer, laying my forehead on his.
“You remember the day I called you cute? First time we really met, and I took you home, after you tumbled in that oil slick?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. Like I could ever forget.
“I've been biting my tongue the last two years so it doesn't happen again. Holding in all the things I want to say. Hell, let's be honest, you're not cute anymore, Kara-bou.” He pauses, moves his fingertips gently into my skin, tipping my face to his, forcing me to look at him. “You're beautiful. And you'd better believe I'm going to treat your beauty, your brains, and ever other part of you like gold.”
There's about one second to prepare for my first kiss before his lips are on mine. It's rainbows, lightning, and crackling fire racing through my blood. My heart goes mad, pounding in my chest like a drum the whole ten seconds our lips are locked, exploring each other for the very first time.
When he pulls away, I've learned what swooning means.
“I have to get out of here before we get really crazy,” he says, brushing his lips against mine one more time. “We're going to be dynamite. Try being patient, Kara. I know, it's not easy – you've been wanting a piece of this for years, every time I see you give me that look across the table.”
“Look?” What look is he talking about?
“Did not!” Smiling, I push him, trying not to laugh, knowing full well I'm lying through my teeth.
“I'll call tomorrow. Let's figure out where we want to go for our first date. I hear they're starting the summer tours at the Armitage Lighthouse next week. Awesome view up there. Perfect for a couple of history nerds.”
“Yeah, perfect for you.” I stick my tongue out. He laughs, and I blush, knowing I can't hide anything. “I'd love to check it out, Ryan. We'll talk after school.”
We share one more smile, and he's gone, crawling out my window. I hear him bounce into the bushes, and run off into the night. I always feel bad when he leaves, knowing he has to go back to his disgusting, lazy foster parents for the night.
Tonight, there's extra guilt, because he deserves better. I hope he finds it sometime in the next year, whatever happens with us, especially now that he's turning eighteen and he can finally move out.
I'm going to make him happy, any way I can.
It's the least I can do. He's just made me the happiest girl in Split Harbor High, and I'm excited to see what it's like when a dream comes true.
GET MARRY ME AGAIN!