I cry into my pillow and he says, “Baby, no. Shit, Becks, I know this is about what happened last weekend.”
“Sparks, I told you that I get it. It hurts, but I just don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
He finds my hand and his fingers weave between mine. “I say the wrong things to you all the time and I’m so sorry.”
“You went to a new low by doing what you did. You were mocking me.” I snivel and dry my cheeks with my free hand.
“No, I wasn’t. I was telling you the truth, but you didn’t want to listen. Instead, you took off and left me.”
Intrigued by what he means, I slowly roll to face him and he lets go of my hand so I can move. We both prop ourselves up on our elbows, anxiously staring at each other. The moon casts light, yet leaves shadows over us and the bed. I whisper, “You said you don’t want to marry me. It’s not that you don’t want marriage. It’s me you don’t want.” New tears spring and I look down to the bed.
Lifting my chin, he shakes his head and brushes hair from my cheek. “Baby, no, no, no. I did say I don’t want to marry you, but that’s not the entire truth.”
“Then what is the truth, Finn? Then, you say you have a secret that you tell me all the time, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He moves his hand down to my hip, his thumb gliding over my skin and softly says, “I was telling you Saturday, Becks.”
My eyebrows pull together as I become even more confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I think you do.”
I sigh. “Why won’t you just tell me? Morgan’s right. You don’t want to ever give a straight answer. Finn, tell me. What’s your big secret that you’re keeping from me?”
Even in the dim light, I can see the battle he’s fighting as his eyes anxiously dart from me. Fretfully licking his lips, he marginally shifts away from me and says, “Go to sleep. You had a really rough day.”
“So have you.”
“At least I got to be with you today. I’m just glad I got to the field in time to be with you when you needed me.”
“I’m glad you were there, too. I didn’t want anyone else.” He mouth finally eases into a smile and I say, “I saw you at work earlier. Were you really that worried about me?”
He smile vanishes and he nods. “Yes, I was. You could’ve…”
“No. Even if I were bleeding, they would’ve done surgery and I would’ve been okay.”
“You don’t know that. It made me think about what it’d be like to lose you. I wouldn’t know how to go on without you.”
Without thinking, I reach up and caress his jaw, causing his lips to part as he quietly stares at me. “Same with you. You’re my Sparks. I miss you. I hate being apart from you.”
His hand still on my hip, he lightly grips my bare skin, his fingers trailing the edge of my underwear. “I don’t either. Have you come to any conclusions about us?”
“I want you, Sparks. No matter what.”
“You want me?” I hear him swallow before he says, “I’m yours. If you didn’t know it by now, I’m outrageously in love with you, Becks Beckett. I always will be.” His fingers slides up and down my hip and he caustically inhales. “Go to sleep. We can talk tomorrow. You might feel better by then.”
“I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt so much.” I pick up his hand from my hip and lightly put it over my bruise. “I’m tough.”
“I know you are. I admire that about you, but yet, it also scares me because you might not need me or want me around anymore. I love taking care of you.”
I raise a dubious eyebrow and play dumb. “You, scared?”
Sparks averts his gaze, mumbling, “I’m afraid of a lot of things, Becks.”
Wanting him to admit them, I probe, “Like what?” Eye surgery, kite festivals, dancing, marriage, and fatherhood. I think that sums up Finn Wilder’s phobias.
Looking back to me, he sighs and gruffly says, “Go to sleep.” No discussion about it, I guess.
I argue, “Well, I’m not that strong. I have my own weakness: you. I’ll always want you in my life. Always.” I smile at his handsome, but expressionless face. “I’m yours. If you didn’t know it by now, I’m outrageously in love with you, Sparks Wilder,” I pilfer his words and slowly move closer to him, our legs still tangled. He feebly gives me a crooked smile; however, his dark eyes are circumspect as he holds onto my hip but leans away from me. Perplexed by his action, I ask, “What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to hurt you by being too close.” He takes his hand off my hip to gently brush his fingers over the bruise through my T-shirt. Despite the dim moonlight, I’m able to see him intently looking up and down my body, and my nipples rigidly respond to his meagerly-veiled passion. I want to feel his lips on me. Anywhere.
“Why don’t you want to kiss me?” I tentatively scoot closer and I feel what he’s been trying to hide from me.
Sparks’ hand leaves my stomach and slides up into my hair, dragging his fingers down through it, and whispering, “Baby, I want to kiss you, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop there.”
We do think alike. Slowly, I move my knee up to his erection and glide it along him, making him close his eyes and to harshly inhale before groaning, “Shit. Don’t do that to me.” He tries to pull away from me again, but I cling to his arm and go with him.
Putting my hand on the back of his neck, I caress his skin until my fingers find their usual way into his hair, lightly tugging, and hearing his breath quicken. “I’m okay. Just sore. You’ll have to be gentle with me.”
He shakes his head along with my hand. “Becks, don’t.”
“Sparks, don’t,” I counter and lean as close to his lips as I can without straining my stomach. “What do you want to do with me in our bed?”
His throat rapidly bobs and his voice is husky. “Becks…”
Inhaling his cologne, I bring my hand down to roughly stroke his bottom lip and he nearly pants. “Tell me what you want,” I whisper.
His eyes widen and sparkle in the dark, sending chills through me. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can. Tell me. What do you want?”
He inclines his face close to mine and urgently whispers, “What I want? I want world peace. What I need? I need to make love to you. To erase those bad dreams from your mind and to make you understand how much I love you, Becks.” His hand falls out of my hair and slides down the side of my body, back to my hip, where his fingers dig into my waistband.
I push his hand down into the front of my underwear. “I need you to show me.”
He gasps and his fingers promptly explore me, causing me to gasp in return. He darkly whispers, “Fuck. You’re so wet.”
Hooking my arm around his neck, I tug him to me, whispering over his lips, “Only for you, Finnigan.”
“Damn it.” Successfully spurred, he starts to yank my underwear down. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“I know you won’t.” We both pause, silently staring at each other, his imploring eyes still begging for permission. To end our suffering, I grab his white T-shirt and pull him down to me, and he loudly groans as our lips feverishly reunite. As always, he tastes delicious and we consume each other in a fiery kiss that feels so long overdue.
Sparks kneels up, but holds himself above me. My hands unconsciously return to his enchanted hair. Without breaking our kiss, he straddles me and delicately, yet impatiently, lifts my shirt before stealing his lips from mine. I watch him as he moves down to tenderly kiss my bruise, while his fingers slide up onto my breasts, kneeding into each one, his thumbs swirling around my hard nipples that scream for his touch. Just as the rest of my body does.
He raises his head to say, “I’ve missed these. I haven’t had my hands on them since Easter.”
“They’ve missed you, too,” I purr, loving his hands on me.
Letting go of my right breast, he moves back up over me. My hands don’t leave his hair, while he’s ever vigilant to not put his weight on m
e. He says, “That’s why I have to wear sunglasses at all times during practice. I can’t stop staring at your body. Most of the time, I have to hide behind a clipboard or everyone will see how much you turn me on. You’re so fucking hot, Hadley.”
Shyly smiling at his compliment, I take my hands out of his hair, down to his ass and I squeeze, pushing him against me. He involuntarily huffs and I say, “And I can’t stop staring at this. Every time you turn your back to me, I’m enjoying the view.”
I feel his grin over my lips. “So, you’re checking me out? Am I a 10?”
“Maybe a 5.5.” I giggle and trail my hands over his muscled back, and up into his hair once more. It’s one of my favorite places to be.
“Baby, I’ll get you to change that score.” He swoops down and takes one of my nipples into his mouth, licking and nibbling. I heavily gasp and moan, yanking on his hair as I writhe beneath him. His rough goatee on my skin feels so erotic.
I want him to possess me. I’m forever his.
He moves to the other one, frantically sucking and licking my breast as if I’m going to melt, making me sigh in delight. “Oh, Sparks.”
Finn swiftly lifts his head from his task. “Am I hurting you?”
I shake my head and smile. “I love what you do to me.”
“Baby, you don’t even realize what you do to me.” He peels off my underwear and eagerly dips a finger inside of me again, hissing his appreciation as he firmly massages me, sparking the same, intensely brash need I had for him Saturday night.
Tugging on his hair and with my other hand, I embrace his jaw, scratching my nails into his light stubble growing in as he ardently gazes at me, bringing me close to an orgasm. With the overwhelming desire for him engulfing my body, I whimper, “Finnigan, take me.” He suddenly moves and hurriedly pulls his boxer shorts down. I don’t even want to take our shirts off. I need him too much to care.
Am I the easy, little whore he called me in my nightmare?
When he has his shorts off, I slightly sit up and yank on his shirt, obliging him to fall, but he catches himself before he lands on me. Our lips joyfully collide and I avidly kiss him, attacking his tongue with mine. I move my hands down to his biceps, pressing my fingers into his barbed wire tattoos. If they were real wire, my fingers would be shredded, I’m holding onto him so tightly.
I try shifting beneath him to push my hips up; attempting to coax him inside me before he can even put a condom on, but it hurts my stomach to try so hard. Regardless of the pain burning in my stomach, it doesn’t compare to the piercing, aching need I have for Sparks. I’ve never wanted Finn Wilder more than I do right now.
Neither one of us mentions protection. Why? I know I should, but I desperately want to feel his skin against mine. That’s selfish of me after our arguments about it; however, Finn isn’t stopping, either. I imagine he knows I don’t have in my birth control.
We heatedly kiss as he lifts his hips, lining himself up with me, but he doesn’t execute the one action I’m yearning for. His dick teasingly grazes me, but I can’t move much. Between kisses, I say, “It was insane how much I wanted you Saturday and how much I want you now.”
He purposely pushes his erection against me, burrowing into my thigh. “Is this what you want?”
Clutching his neck, I fervently kiss his lips before replying, “Yes. It’s been so long. I need all of you, Sparks.”
“I need you, too, Becks.” He kisses down my neck to my collarbone, sucking hard with his full lips, growling against my skin, and driving me wild.
“Finn, tell me your secret.”
His lips stop moving on my neck and he mumbles, “I will. I promise. When we’re making love, I’ll tell you.”
I push on his shoulder, and he lifts his head. Clasping his jaw with both hands, I look into the sensual eyes that hide so many secrets. “Then fuck me, Finn. Hard. Right now.”
He gulps at my demand, but readily complies, not breaking our stare until he carefully slides into me, despite me ordering him to be rough. Only then do our eyes close, and we happily moan together as we become one.
“Hadley, you feel so good on me. I’ve missed us together like this. We had to stop the last couple times.”
Finn is still temperate with his thrusts. Tugging on his hair, I plead against his lips, “Harder and faster, Sparks.”
“I’m supposed to be gentle. What’s gotten into you?”
“You.” He disbelievingly chuckles, but he speeds up enough that we’re heavily panting over each other. However, he abruptly slows his pace and licks my bottom lip. “We need to take it slow. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you.”
I shake my head, not feeling the pain anymore. “Finnigan, don’t be too gentle.”
“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re so damn sexy.” He called me sweetheart again. I love it.
I grab his ass and encourage him to go faster again, in which he does as he kisses and licks my throat up to my ear. He then whispers. “I swear to God I can’t get enough of you, Becks. I’ve missed you so fucking much. Don’t ever keep me from you again.”
I grimace, feeling horrible about upsetting him. “I won’t, baby. I was miserable without you.”
He nips my earlobe and adds, “I can’t live without you by my side.” He loudly swallows against my ear. “So, you want to know what I tell you when you’re asleep?”
“Asleep?”
As Sparks intensely grinds into me, he huffs, “Becks, you already know what it is.”
What? I have no clue!
“You promised to tell me.” I try to slow us, but he presses his weight into me as he angles his hips, sending me into a frenzy with the steady pressure. Fuck. He’s exceedingly good at this.
He implores, “Give it to me, Becks. I need you to come. I can feel I’m getting you close.”
“Finn, tell me!” I beg him in return.
I can’t halt the rise and he goes even faster as I moan louder. As my body hugs him firmly and I yell his name, he softly gasps and whispers in my ear, “Hadley, I want to be your husband.”
CHAPTER 11
FINN
My damn heart stops.
We both freeze instantaneously, and just as fast, I regret telling her.
What the fuck did I just do? I never thought I’d tell Becks this secret. I’ve been successful with keeping it from her since that day in the park three years ago when I first realized I wanted to marry her. Granted, I tell her repeatedly when she’s unconscious, but damn it. Those words were supposed to be sacred to me.
I remain motionless, freaking out because I’m unsure of what I should do or say. Yet, I think I’ve said more than enough.
“Sparks?”
Still next to her ear, I stiffly ask, “What?” Maybe she didn’t hear me. Shit. Like that would happen. She’s been waiting years for me to say this.
She excitedly whispers, “Tell me again.”
Damn it.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I coolly say, “You heard me, Becks.” Hoping she’ll let it go, I slowly start thrusting again to get my momentum back, but my mind is spinning. I’m not going to be able to finish now. I can’t focus anymore.
“Are you okay?”
Sighing and hanging my head over her, I morosely admit, “I don’t know.” Moving back, I debate on whether to keep trying to come or give up since I’m going soft anyway. When I try to pull out of her, I’m surprised when she tightly grips my shoulders, stopping me.
Becks’ eyes shine in the moonlight and her hair sweeps her pillow as she slowly shakes her head. “You’re not done.”
“I don’t think I can.”
“Come on, baby,” she encourages. “You need to let go.” Biting her lip, she unsteadily moves her hips up and down and it ignites me, not from the action, but because I know it’s causing her needless effort with her injury. And she’s doing that. For me.
Forgetting my world-rocking admission, I blow out a breath of air as I harden inside her again. “Fuck. You’re unbelievable.” Bala
ncing myself over Becks again, I fervently kiss her, my tongue invading her mouth as I solidly thrust into her, but then awareness strikes me and I pull back both my assailing tongue and dick. “Wait. Am I hurting you?”
“No. Shut up and concentrate on how it feels.” She tries to keep riding me, but not wanting her to hurt herself more, I use my weight to essentially pin her with my cock, so she can’t raise her hips anymore. All she can do is keep her legs apart as I screw her. Becks’ eyes widen and she opens her mouth to protest, but I stop her by forcing my tongue between her lips. She doesn’t have to do anything. Just let me love her, which I find myself falling more into every time I’m with her.
I honestly can’t get enough of Hadley Beckett. She’s my drug. My air. My heart. My soul. My life.
The taste of my Becks, combined with the love I have for her and how much I’ve missed us being together like this, compels me to greedily drive into her amid the protests of the squeaking bedsprings as our background music, knowing I’m going too fast, but I just can’t stop.
I had asked what had gotten into her, but now I’m the one possessed.
Panting as I hungrily fuck her and feeling the soaring high vigorously approaching, I loudly groan and warn, “Baby, I’m coming.”
“I’m all yours, Finnigan.”
I savagely growl as I rush into her like a fucking freight train, relishing the feel of being deep inside her and giving her the part of me that Becks only gets. Sometimes. I know the risk, but being without her for three weeks, I’ll take the risk.
I love her that much.
Yes, and the extent of my love for her includes me wanting to be her husband. More than anything. Nevertheless, I just don’t know if I can take that risk. A baby could conceivably be a gain for us, yet a marriage would probably be the end for us.
Becks surprisingly again cries out as her pussy grips me like a vice, making me feel rather proud of myself for the multiple orgasms I gave her. As we ride our high together, I close my eyes and breathlessly utter, “Fuck, Becks. Baby.”
Igniting the Wild Sparks Page 17