I fold my arms on the table and sigh as I concede, “It’s part of who you are. I can’t deny you of it. I’m just going to have to accept that you’re going to do these things. I don’t want you to resent me anymore.”
“I know you worry about me. I’ve never resented you, baby. I don’t want you to resent me for doing them, though.”
“Maybe we can reach some sort of détente?”
His interest is piqued. “Like what?”
“Maybe the amount of times you do them? Let me have some piece of mind.”
“I can agree to that. And maybe I can convince you to skydive with me one day?”
I nearly shiver. “Only if I can negotiate with you to maybe taking another kind of leap.”
He cockily smirks. “We’ll see.”
I offer him my own challenging grin. “Yes, we shall.”
Game on, Wilder.
Finn walks me to my car and I debate on whether to kiss him or not. Will he try to kiss me? I did tell him to wait until Sunday, and I don’t want to give in before then.
I open my car door to give me some sort of barrier between us and he says, “If I don’t see you before the wedding, I want to tell you to have fun and that you look stunning.”
I demurely smile. “You don’t even know what my dress looks like.”
He leans his arm on the doorframe and whispers, “I don’t have to.”
Anxiously, I tuck my hair behind my ears to distract myself from how close his hand is to mine. “Have a nice trip.”
I notice his fingers gripping the metal tighter. “I’ll try, but I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.”
“I’ll be thinking about you, too.” Our eyes lock but then float down to each other’s lips. We look back up into each other’s eyes at the same time, but we can’t hold the stare for long before we’re gazing at the other’s lips again. He slowly starts to drift closer and I want him to; however, then his kiss will inevitably make me fall under his spell.
Right before our lips meet, I avert my head and his mouth grazes my cheek. I close my eyes and revel at the feel of them on my skin. His lips sweep against me as he says, “I’m sorry.” He softly kisses my cheek and moves away. “You said Sunday. I didn’t mean to…” I tentatively glance at him, and he sighs, swiping a hand into his hair.
“It’s okay.” Impulsively, I reach up and stroke his strained jaw, causing him to bite his lip and close his eyes.
“Becks.” I didn’t realize how much I loved hearing him call me that until he didn’t.
“What, Sparks?”
“I…” Upon opening his eyes, he looks uncertain, which concerns me. Is he having second thoughts about staying with me?
He whispers, “I miss you.”
I smile. “I miss you, too. Thank you for dinner.”
He smiles back, but it appears to be reluctant. “Anytime. Thank you for being my date.”
I nod. “Anytime,” I mirror him. “I’ll see you Sunday then.”
His eyebrows pull together and he glances down at the car door. “Yeah. Sunday.”
Unable to resist him completely, I hold onto the frame and stretch to kiss his wiry jaw. My stomach hurts, but not as bad as it did. I hear him swallow and a low humming sound rumbles through his throat. I quickly move back to get in my car before I totally admit defeat. Again.
CHAPTER 21
During rehearsal Friday evening, we all goofed off and even Shane made me laugh. He further shocked me when he came up from behind, sweeping me off my feet, making me yelp in surprise. Morgan was taking pictures of all the action every chance she had.
After the rehearsal dinner, Morgan and I caught Rod using white glass paint to write Morticia + Jethro on her car’s rear window. Good thing she was feeling merciful and didn’t toss him into the ocean because then I’d be dateless.
The sun is beginning to set on the horizon as everyone gathers around a bonfire pit on the beach near our hotel. Chairs are brought, jovial laughing is heard, and a variety of music plays. The bridal party begins to relax, but I’m on edge.
Resting my chin in my hand, I stare out at the ocean, deep in thought about tomorrow. Morgan’s life will change. She’ll become Ivan’s wife. However, they haven’t even been together as long as Finn and I have. How will my life change because of her getting married? Will we still be close? I don’t want to lose my best friend, but I can’t be selfish. I’m happy for them. I just wish I could be happy for me, too.
Morgan startles me when she suddenly sits down in the sand, falling onto me, which makes her giggle. She playfully asks, “What’s up, baby? How are you doing?”
Scowling at her, I sit back. “Other than recovering from a stroke, not much. I’m great. Why are you asking me that anyway? I’m not the one getting married tomorrow.” Or ever.
She leans her arm against mine. “My nerves were bad most of the week. Now, I actually feel serene. I just want to get the ceremony over with.”
I look at her and say, “I really want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
Morgan genuinely smiles. “So do you. I mean that and I will do everything I can to ensure that happens, Hadley. I promise you.”
Putting my chin back onto my hand, I shrug. “There’s not much you can do.”
“I’m going to do my damnedest. If there’s anything I can do, I’ll do it. You will be happy.”
“I am happy. To an extent.”
“I know you want more. You deserve a man who will give you your dreams.”
As I look out to the ocean, I mumble, “My only dream is to stay in love forever with Finn. That’s all I want.”
“Even if it comes at a price?”
Glancing at her, I staunchly counter, “Nothing in life is free.”
Always the lawyer, she contests, “Yes, but not everything in life has to have such a steep price tag, either.”
I roll my eyes. “Maybe I can try to find a clearance sale or use a coupon.”
She laughs. “Did you bring it with you?”
Returning my gaze to the ocean, I whisper, “The ring? Yes.”
“So, are you still going to do it if he shows up?”
“I’m going to let the mood strike me. If he shows up and I feel the time is right, then yes, I’ll do it.”
“Are you nervous?”
I widen my eyes at the water, nodding. “Oh, yeah.”
“Don’t be. If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be.”
To our right, Rod pops and grooves over to us. “Hey, hoochies!”
“Ass Rod.”
“Let’s get this party started, yo!” Morgan and I grimace at each other as Rod throws his hands above his head, while lewdly shaking his ass. Too bad Rhonda isn’t here. She’d probably need mouth-to-mouth.
“Put it away, you freak!” Morgan yells with a laugh.
As they spar over his faux dancing, I listlessly gaze at the tumbling waves, remembering Sparks and I playing in the water at Bethany’s. We laughed and teased each other in the surf, and then he carried me piggyback as we watched the sailboats. It’s one of my favorite memories of us being carefree together.
I vaguely hear Morgan tell Rod, “Do you kiss your reflection with that dirty mouth?”
“No, just your mom.”
Behind us, a voice near the fire yells, “I’d rather kiss a dirty mirror!”
I abruptly get up from the sand. “I’m going for a walk.”
Morgan asks, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No. I won’t be gone long.” I set out to scout potential locations where I can take Finn. Shit. Who am I kidding? Why did I really think he would come to a wedding? It’s like Superman and kryptonite. He’d lose all his powers and be defenseless against me. He wouldn’t put himself in that vulnerable of a position.
When I’m far enough away from everyone, I stop walking and let the cool water lap at my feet, wishing I had my Sparks with me. I forgive that lying, skydiving, BASE-jumping ass. I just want to kiss him, forgetting al
l about his dangerous pastimes, and how he hid them from me. Even though it’s hard to accept, I understand why he did it.
“Is your boyfriend coming?”
Startled, I jerk and my hand flies to my chest. What is it with people scaring the hell out of me? I peer over my shoulder at Shane and say, “You scared me. Uh, no. Finn has to work.” I think he does.
“That’s too bad. Here.” Walking closer, he holds out his hand, offering me a bottle of beer.
Taking it, I dubiously ask, “What’s this for?”
He smoothly grins as he shifts to stand next to me. “Peace offering.”
I wrinkle my forehead and nose. “For what?”
“Most recently, for harping on you about your weight loss. I’m just doing my job, but I am concerned.”
Lifting the bottle, I read the label and ask, “Is that why you gave me regular beer instead of light? To fatten me up?”
“Possibly.” He laughs, which again surprises me. I honestly thought the sound of him laughing would sound more demonic. “Really, I was just trying to be nice.”
I diffidently laugh. “Um, okay. If you say so.” His shaggy hair, smug attitude, and frosty blue eyes remind me of a surfer who probably would choke a dolphin if it got in his way.
“You don’t believe me?”
“Let’s just say I’m skeptical.”
“I suppose that’s justified, but I like boosting you to your parameters and then some. To see what you’re made of.” Though he appears to be cordial, he still sounds like a douche when he talks.
I raise an impervious eyebrow. “That would be a gross understatement.”
He chuckles. “I am a little rough on you, aren’t I?”
“Slightly.”
“You can handle it. You’re tough.”
“Me? No, I’m not. One of those punching robot toys could kick my ass.”
Shane shakes his head with a confident smirk. “You don’t think much of yourself. Why is that? I believe you have it in you and that there’s a fire in your belly.”
Moving to fold my arms, but can’t since I’m holding a beer, I doubtfully scoff, “Why? When have I ever given you that impression? I just do jumping jacks and lunges when you tell me to. I haven’t set the world on fire, let alone possess one inside me.”
“You’re wrong. It’s evident in everything you do. The whole world sees it.”
I laugh. “I thought you were against drugs?”
“I am. Why?”
“Because you are definitely on something.”
He laughs before taking a drink of his beer. “I told you you’re funny.”
Feeling uncomfortable, I mutter, “Um, thanks. Why are you being super nice to me?”
He gives me a side glance as he lowers his bottle. “I thought we were going to be friends?”
“Friends? No, you said we didn’t have to be friends.”
He complacently shrugs one shoulder while examining me, probably waiting for another pound to disappear so he can yell at me again. “I changed my mind.”
“You mean like the hanging-out-at-the-mall kind? We’ll sit at the food court, eat pizza and make fun of what people are wearing?”
“At least you’d be eating something.”
I argue, “I do eat. I’ve been nervous. I’ll bounce right back after the wedding is over.” I take a long drink of my beer and say, “Look! I’m drinking a regular beer! I can feel the fat returning to my thighs in droves!”
Shane again laughs, unsettling me. I cross my free arm over my stomach and he asks, “Why are you really here alone?”
I frown. “I told you Finn had to work.”
“He couldn’t have asked for the weekend off?”
“I guess not.” He just did last week and I screwed that up. “He’s a busy guy.”
“I would’ve. I mean, if you were my girlfriend and I had the chance to see you in a bikini, there’s no way I’d pass it up.”
I cringe and grouse, “I’m not wearing one of those in public.”
He waywardly smirks as he raises his beer to his mouth, while peculiarly watching me. “Just in private?”
“No way.” I look back to the water, feeling very awkward by this topic. I do own a bikini, but I’ve never worn it for Finn. I thought I could be that daring, but I’m not. I can only wear something that covers my stomach and thighs. I have a hard enough time when Sparks sees me in my bra and underwear or worse, naked, which I try to make sure is in a dimly lit or dark room, if I can help it.
“You shouldn’t be like that. You would look phenomenal in one.” Why do I feel so dirty from him saying that?
“I don’t think so.” I anxiously pull on my ponytail and wish we weren’t talking about bikinis. “So, don’t you have a date for tomorrow?”
He shrugs. “I do, but it can be cancelled if someone better came along.” I wince at his complacent smile. How gross. Manwhore, definitely.
“Eww. Why would you do that?”
“I suppose you can say I’m keeping my options open.” Double eww.
“Too bad for your date.”
His responding grin is a turn-off. “She’d get over it and if not, oh well.”
Disgusted, I sneer, “How gallant of you.”
As his smiles widens, Rod bumps into me and causes me to almost fall into the ocean, probably never to be heard from again. “Hadders, you want to dance?”
Without hesitation, I reply, “Sure.”
Grabbing my hand, he leads me away from Shane and when we’re far enough, I comment, “You hate slow dancing.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then, what are you doing?”
Stopping us near the fire, he pulls me into his arms and says over my head, “I don’t trust that creep.”
I laugh and hold onto his shoulder with my beer-free hand. “You just wanted to get away from a certain someone.” Even though Tonya is married, she has an obvious crush on Greg Rodwell. So funny.
“True, but I can deal with her.”
“What’s there to not trust Shane about?” I take a sip of my beer as we sway together.
“You. That bastard wants to bone dance with you.”
Gagging on my beer, I pull away from him, coughing and wheezing for air. When I get a breath, I chokingly say, “You’re on crack.”
He hits me on the back, which only worsens the problem. “I’m speaking the truth, Kemosabe. Since when is he nice to you? You’ve always complained about him.”
Between more coughing, I say, “He’s wants to be friends.”
“Friends? He’s no Chandler. Doesn’t he know you have a boyfriend?”
“Yeah, he does.”
“He’s still trolling for you.”
“I don’t think he’s trolling for me, Greg. Damn. What’s up with you anyway? Why are you supporting Finn after what he accused you of?”
“Well, he is your boyfriend. You’re in love!” he dramatically shrieks and pretends to choke himself, making me laugh. “So yeah. I believe I am. I know Wilder’s jealous again, but I once told him he can trust me, and I’m keeping my word. He can trust me to look after his girl, too.”
Smiling, I pat his cheek like Val does. “You’re an unbelievably sweet guy.”
“Shit. Don’t tell chicks that. I’ll never get laid again. They’ll only want to be my friend,” he groans, “without benefits.”
“It’ll be our secret.”
Hugging him again, we slow dance in silence as I sip on my beer and gaze at the moonlit water, while shooting glances around us for Shane. Rod can’t be right about him, too. That would be like an apocalyptic sign if Greg Rodwell is that perceptive.
Rod asks, “So, are you going to propose to Wilder when we get home?”
Against his chest, I worriedly chew on my lip. “At some point.”
“Do you think he’ll really marry you?”
“That’s what I’m hoping and is my goal. Marriage will be the big stipulation. I want him to understand that I mean business.”
“Ooh. You’re ruthless. Wilder should watch out.”
“Yep. He should.”
“After you get married, will you make him stop calling you Becks?”
Leaning away from him to see his face, I laugh in disbelief at his question. “No, why?”
“You’ll be Wilder then, too. Since he doesn’t remember your first name, maybe he could call you Wilds, instead.” I grin at the thought of having Finn’s name, but I roll my eyes at my date’s musing.
“Shut up, Rod.”
Lying in bed at the hotel, I pick up my phone and stare at it. No messages. No missed calls. Is Sparks thinking about me? Or, is he drinking to forget me?
Though it’s 12:30 in the morning and he’s in a hotel, as well, I want to hear his voice. I know he’s still awake wherever he is. Propping my head up on the fluffy pillows, I speed dial him and wait. When Finn answers, there’s a garbled delay before he says, “Becks, hey.”
“Hi. Did I catch you a bad time?”
“Uh, no. Shit. I mean, yeah. I’m sorry. I can’t talk long.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just going over some things with Milo and Reed.”
“Oh. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.”
“No. I’m good for a few minutes. How was the rehearsal thing?”
“Good. I had a lot of fun. We had a bonfire on the beach. Rod insulted Morgan’s mother.”
“How? From just being there?”
I laugh. “Something like that. Shane offered me a beer. He’s actually being nice to me.”
“He’d better be or he’ll answer to me.”
“He wants us to be friends. I don’t think he knows how to be friends. I’m surprised he is with Ivan.”
“I don’t like this guy. From what you’ve told me, he sounds like an ass.”
“He’s had his moments, but I’m willing to be civil so he goes easier on me during my workouts, at least.”
“Why can’t Ivan work with you? Can’t he make an exception for you?”
“He’s booked. For some reason, people like him more. It’ll be easier to be friends with Shane than to not be.”
“If this guy says anything out of line to you, let me know because I’ll gladly put him back in place.” Like the things you’ve said to me?
Igniting the Wild Sparks Page 37