by Wild, Bella
He had a point. Dammit. I had no business doubting myself this morning.
“Okay. You’re probably right. Thanks.”
We waited for Fred, Larry and Kevin, who should be there any minute. While we waited, I observed the area. After all the security planning and anticipation for the Disk Spinner awards show, Kevin’s perspective turned out to be on the money—it was probably the safest place to be for any artist needing protection. There was a significant police presence, with officers lining a broad perimeter around the building. They had also laid out physical barriers to control traffic and the crowd. I also noticed the ballistic-rated vehicular barriers—subtle barricades at key entrances, that limited access to vehicles without hindering pedestrian traffic.
When the men arrived, Johnny’s PR rep joined us, and the six of us walked through the checkpoint to walk the red carpet. As Johnny was on the list of performers, we were earlier than most of the guests. I had no delusions of my obscurity. He was the center of attention, and his PR rep directed him to the media stops where he gave a few soundbites in the micro-interviews normally called for at these events. Fred stayed close at Johnny’s back, and Kevin and the rest of us hung back.
Only one minor incident took place near the end of our run on the red carpet. A new pop artist—who turned out to be Ed Sheerway—made the mistake of extending his arm for a handshake with Johnny. Fred did not recognize him. He blocked Ed’s arm and put him in a kimura-style standing double-wrist lock submission. Kevin cleared it up and apologized to Ed, but the mishap was captured by at least a dozen celebrity news cameramen. It was bound to hit the media gossip sites.
Once in the concourse, Johnny laced my hand into the crook of his arm to go backstage. We were taken for a quick walk-through and given instructions on who would get us from the audience when we needed to return to change for the performance. After the mini-tour, we met with the rest of the group in the concourse. There were private guards wearing suits everywhere. Most celebrities also had their own private bodyguards.
Kevin openly reminded Johnny that this event was a dress rehearsal for the Rock Hits Video Awards, or RHVAs, which were the premiere music award to recognize achievements in the music industry—a phrase he repeated almost verbatim each time. The two left for a while to do some schmoozing with several artist friends, colleagues and any RHVA organizer they could track down. Kevin called it socializing with purpose. I found it admirable—in spite of his temperament, he was always working, always pitching for Johnny. They weren’t gone for long, and when they returned, the PR rep, Fred and Larry were shown to the secondary seating for support personnel. Johnny, Kevin and I were led to our seats inside and the show began.
The rest of the night flew by like a fleeting instant. Johnny’s performance went off without a hitch—I even remembered my lines. He had three nominations, and won one award for Favorite Male Pop/Rock album. He dragged Kevin on stage with him to receive it, and humbly gave him full credit for his mentorship and guidance. They shared a warm hug on stage. It gave me goosebumps. Kevin was not all bad. Quite possibly, his animosity toward me was the natural protective instinct any concerned parent would have. If anything, from this angle, I had much more respect for him—he was nothing like my mother. All the more reason for me to remain objective where he was concerned.
We had been there for almost six hours when the curtains closed. The PR rep had left early to spin a story about the Ed Sheerway incident on the red carpet. We made our way to regroup with Fred and Larry. They left in the other limo to escort Kevin home, with plans to return to Johnny’s place. After performing and receiving an award, Johnny’s spirits were soaring, but he was also wiped for the ride home. At one point, he rested his head in my lap and closed his eyes. I ran my hand through his hair, looking down at his face in the dimness of passing streetlights. God, he was gorgeous. And somewhere along the way, I had been swept right off my feet.
Chapter Ten
Johnny
Three down, four to go. That’s what was running through my mind when I woke up the day after the awards show. Three stops on my tour were complete, and so far we had all gotten through it virtually unscathed. And yes, two of the three people I cared about had suffered minor injuries, but I held out hope we could get through the rest with no further trauma to anyone in my camp.
Amanda had slept in my bed last night, with minimal coaxing too. We were both tired, so sleep turned out to be all we did. It was great to feel her body pressed up against mine all night. For the first time since we left for Greece, there was nothing in my schedule today. It was a luxury to have a free day, so I slept in. Amanda was gone when I woke up. I was not surprised—it was already almost noon.
I got out of bed and threw on some gym clothes. A workout was in order. Just as I was leaving my room, I heard my phone go off. It was the ringtone for Lady and Kevin’s house. I walked to the bedside table and snatched it up to catch it before it went to voicemail.
“Hi,” I answered, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Hello, Lorne.” It was Lady. “Congratulations on last night, son.”
“Thanks. I wish you could have been there.”
“I do too, dear. I watched you on TV. Your performance was brilliant! I plan to come to the RMVAs for sure. Don’t you worry.”
“I’m looking forward to it. How is Kevin today?”
“Isn’t he over at your house?”
“Probably. I slept in. I’ll check when I get downstairs. So what’s up?”
“I wanted to talk things out. Just you and me. Do you have a few minutes?”
I let out a slow and steady breath, anticipating it would be another difficult conversation. “Of course.”
“Great. How are you feeling?”
I rolled my eyes and stood up from the bed. I paced around. I really wanted to tell her how disappointed I was that she had sided with Kevin on the topic of Amanda.
“Lorne?”
“I don’t know…I’m just tired. Mostly.”
Lady was never one to skirt around issues, so she launched right into it. “I know you think Kevin and I are being unreasonable,” she said softly. “Amanda seems like a nice girl. I’d like to get to know her.”
“Thanks, Lady. That means a lot.”
“I know Kevin would too.”
“I’m not sure I buy that part. He has made no effort to get to know her, and so far, he treats her like the hired help. No, I take that back. He treats her worse than the any of our staff.”
“’Hmmm. I hope you know me well enough to understand that if you’re happy with her, all I’ll ever do is support you. You know that, right?”
My chest tightened. “Yes, Lady. I know.”
“My only concern is for your safety.”
There it was. “That’s why you’ll love Amanda. She’s done an excellent job of being my bodyguard.”
“So tell me. What’s been going on between you and Kevin, son?” Her voice was calmer than before.
I sighed. “I don’t know anymore. We’ve had our differences, but lately we don’t agree on anything. Has he talked to you?”
“Yes. After the physical assault in his car, he came clean with me and told me what’s been going on with the two of you. Until now, I’ve kept at arm’s length when it comes to your working together.”
It was true. I had gone to her on numerous occasions over the years to ask for help dealing with Kevin. Each time, she would tell me she didn’t want to meddle or take sides.
“Today, however, I’m breaking my own rules.” Her words intrigued me. “I love you both too much to watch you let this crazy business rip you apart. Lorne, please believe me, Kevin loves you like his own son…”
I never doubted Kevin cared about me. He and Lady had tried to have children, but it did not work out. Around the time they gave up trying was when my parents were killed and I became theirs legally. Being godparents had always been something they had taken very seriously and to me, they were already family lon
g before my parents passed. Both my mom and dad had full confidence that Lady and Kevin would raise me as their own, and when tragedy struck, they did exactly that. Kevin’s love for me was clear—it was his methods that were the problem.
Lady had a way of tugging at my heart and softening me up. She was not trying to manipulate me; she only said what she did to remind me of what was really important.
She continued. “Lorne, you have to remember, he was my manager too. He can be so infuriating, and his neutral position in business is arrogant, domineering and inflexible. Believe me, it nearly ended our relationship on a few occasions.”
My ears perked up. I had never heard this side of the story before. “Really?” I asked, finding it hard to believe. After they adopted me, Lady and Kevin had been so close and so compatible, I never once questioned their commitment to each other.
She laughed. “Yes! He used to drive me crazy!”
“How so?”
“There’s so much. Where to start? He despised my wardrobe choices. Any song I picked out, he instantly hated. If I wrote it, he disliked it even more. He also had a problem with everyone in my band. And he worked me like an animal on the road. The worst was a twenty-two city tour in seventeen days. What can I say? He’s strong-willed and outspoken. Kevin is an alpha male through and through. And you are too, Johnny. So you’ll never stop butting heads until there’s some give and take.”
“So far I’ve been doing all the giving and he’s held on to the taking, Lady.”
She chuckled.
“What’s the secret, then? How did you get him to let you do what you wanted?”
“Eventually, over time, we found a way to work together that was more cohesive.”
“Did it have to come out as a threat?” I asked because Kevin only understood ultimatums.
“You know him too well, son,” she admitted, her melodious laugh setting me at ease. “That’s why some of my later albums sound like they were somewhat bipolar, dear.”
“So basically you’re telling me to stick it out and hope that someday he might cut me some slack? Or are you saying I need to put my foot down and stand my ground?” I could not see either option working well.
“No, no, Lorne. It’s about balance. Stand your ground where it matters… and pick your battles wisely. Right now, you both feel like all you do is argue. The two of you need to sit down and get it all out there…without the hostility,” she warned, placing emphasis on her final point. “He has to get credit for some of the things he has done to this point, like the way you were so gracious at the Disk Spinners last night. By the way, that simple gesture put you in a good place in his books. He’s so proud of you, Lorne. Talk to him today. Really talk…and then, you can inject your ideas and find a middle ground.”
“Okay.” If talking alone would get Kevin to come around, I was willing to give it a try.
“He wants to make this right. Please give it another try. I think you’ll get much farther.”
“All right, Lady. Thanks.”
A silence settled between us. I wasn’t sure if the conversation was over, or if she was just thinking.
“How is Amanda doing?” She asked.
I took the opportunity to say, “If I can give him another try, he needs to accept that Amanda will be a part of the picture. Not just during the tour. Amanda is performing her role well…I would argue that she has done more as a bodyguard than anyone we’ve ever hired. I just have to say…I know this is awkward to hear, Lady, but Kevin does not get to tell me who I can care for, be friends with, love…or share a bed with. That part of my personal life is off-limits.”
“I can relate to that, son. But I was asking how Amanda was doing, because I want to know how she is.”
“Oh. Sorry, Lady. I guess I’ve been on the defensive lately. Amanda’s fine.”
“You really care about her don’t you?”
“I do.”
“Have you known each other for long?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that question without admitting to being a harmless brand of cyber-stalker myself. “I knew of her before, during her MMA days. I only got to meet her in person at the same time Kevin did, less than two weeks ago.”
“Really, dear? Because the way you look at her, I thought you may have known her for ages.”
I let that comment go. I was not going to lie to Lady, or admit to obsessively following Amanda on social media for years.
“Do you think we can have dinner sometime? The four of us? It can be after the tour ends, when you have more downtime.”
Doubtful, I thought. There was still the issue of after the tour. At the moment, all I had to go on was Amanda would be nearly three thousand miles away, and it was too soon to expect her to disrupt her life to move in with me after four weeks of us knowing each other. The only thing I was sure of was I did not want to be part of her past, reduced to some story she would tell at parties about the rock star she had gotten to know in LA.
“Maybe, Lady. I’ll ask her,” I mumbled. “Um, I have to go now. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”
“All right, Lorne. Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” I said and hung up quickly.
I sat on the bed again. Just what I needed; another heart to heart with Kevin. Lady might have believed things were on the way to resolution with him. I had no resistance to the idea, as long as he would respect the boundaries of my relationship with Amanda. It was a longshot at best. I composed myself as best as I could and went down to the main floor to look for him. It would be a start.
Chapter Eleven
Johnny
I went to the kitchen to get my hands on a cup of coffee. I had to be alert and quick on my feet for this talk with Kevin.
“There you are!”
I turned at the sound of Kevin’s voice as he came out of the pantry beside the kitchen.
“Hi Kevin. I need to talk to you.”
“Same here. Let’s go to my office.”
“Sure,” I agreed.
I followed Kevin past the back stairs to his office. Armed with Lady’s advice, I mentally prepared for the uneasy dance of negotiation I was about to have. He let me pass through the office doorway and closed the door behind us, motioning for me to take a seat. That defiance in me was already on alert. This was going to be a battle, simply because he was used to telling me what to do, and I had grown used to resisting his bull-headed tendencies. It brought to mind Lady’s point that we were both controlling men, used to leading the pack, and her advice about picking my battles. I sat and crossed one leg over the other, resting my ankle on the opposite knee.
“I talked to Lady this morning,” I said.
Kevin nodded. “She mentioned she would phone you. What did she say?”
“That you were a colossal pain in the ass as a manager, and you treated her the same way.”
Kevin’s jaw clenched at the assessment, but then he let out a booming laugh. “Knowing Lady, that’s just how she said it too.”
I nodded. There just wasn’t enough zeal in me to muster a smile.
“I’ll get right to the point, Lorne,” he said, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. “I know I’m hard on you, and I’ll be the first to admit that I have a very specific vision for your career. Nothing is beyond your reach. You have the raw talent and the natural charisma to do anything you want. I’m just afraid you’re going to squander it. That’s why I’ve had to be so inflexible—”
“And overbearing, arrogant, intrusive, meddlesome, obstructive—”
“Okay I’ll give you that. I was and I still am all those things. I didn’t want you to lose your spark, or your motivation, and end up kicking back like so many artists who hit it big right out the gate. This is one of the reasons I continued to book you for small events like the one in Greece, and Whiskey River in two days. It’s to keep you grounded, connected to the fans, and to propel you forward.”
I understood his perspective. I viewed myself as the
least talented of my original band members, yet none of them went on to do much with their music after Kevin had kicked them out. They had gone from first hit single to twenty-four seven rock star party mode in no time at all. Still, he seemed a little harsh. I would like to believe I was more ambitious and driven than his fears seemed to allow.
“But, after talking with Lady, I’ve realized just how short life really is. I mean, in that car, anything could have happened. That crazy bitch had a knife against my throat, Lorne, and I—” his voice faltered slightly and I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable with his sudden break of emotion. “There was a moment where I wondered how you would remember me, if things had gone south.”
Besides my initial adrenaline-filled reaction the night Kevin was assaulted, I had not really thought much about it once we found out he was okay. Even now, I could not wrap my mind around how different things would be if he had been seriously hurt or worse, if the woman had taken his life.
Kevin continued. “I don’t want you to look back and resent me someday for wasting some of your most precious years, chasing after you to help reach the goals I set for you. Honestly, they were my dreams, and like any father…I wanted only the best for you. Maybe I was focused on my own selfish image of how your success should play out.”
I did not expect any of this. My chest tightened like a vice with all the emotion coursing through me. All of a sudden it was hard to remember why I had been so angry at him in the first place.
“I want to show you something,” he said. He picked up a large brown envelope on the small table between us, and he pulled a stack of papers from it. “This is our second contract, the one you signed when you were twenty-two. It’s a five-year contract, so only one year is left.”
I took the contract from his hand and glossed over it. A rush of memories came rising to the surface as I glanced over my sketchy signature. I had been so young…so much had changed since the first contract. My band had been replaced, I had recorded numerous albums, produced many music videos, performed in front of millions of fans, made hundreds of TV and radio appearances, and done countless media interviews. I had been on magazines and my face had been splashed all over the internet with pictures from photo shoots and the paparazzi. I had done a lot. Now, anything was possible.