by M. Stratton
“Lissa, breathe,” Hannah instructed walking over, and grabbed her by the upper arms, forcing her to look at her. “You are totally worthy. We have been telling you that for years. Suck it up. You aren’t as boring as you think, and people love your dorkiness. There is no one else I think who deserves this more than you. Just kick back and enjoy every little bit of the experience. You know that is what Will would tell you, too. Your man is right there for you. We are right there for you. Stop stressing so much and just be.”
“You’re going to make me cry, dammit.”
“What are friends for?”
“To kick your ass when you need it,” Christine yelled from the speaker. “And you know I can do it, even from all the way up here in Canada. Hannah is one-hundred percent right. Suck it up, buttercup, you rock. Bask in your glory, ‘cause it all could be gone tomorrow.”
“Now, there’s the Suzy Sunshine we all know and love,” Angelica added. “Don’t listen to her. While yes, it could all be gone tomorrow, it won’t be. Do you want to know why? Because you won’t let it. You fight too hard. To keep on writing, getting better with each book, telling better and better stories. The sky is your limit, and that my friend, is limitless.”
Lissa looked from one friend to the other and tears formed in her eyes. Unable to stop them, they flowed over and down her cheeks. “I love you, guys,” she wailed.
“Well, shit.” Hannah crossed to the refrigerator. “I hope we have more cucumbers. We’re going to need stock in them if you keep this up.”
“What’s on your mind?” Royce asked Hannah as they relaxed together on their back deck, watching the waves crashing in the moonlight.
She sighed. “What makes you think there’s something on my mind?”
“Do you want the long or short answer?”
“Let’s start with the short.”
“Because I know you better than I know my own self.” He nuzzled her neck.
Pulling away, she narrowed her eyes. “What’s your angle? Maybe you’d better give me the long answer.”
“Shit, what’s a guy to do? Here I am trying to be all romantic and get your mind off what is bothering you, and you shoot me down.”
She relaxed back into him and laced her fingers through his. “I don’t know. Everything is so different from a year ago, and when I look to the future . . .”
“Yes . . .”
“I don’t know. I see it changing even more. I know I said I’d give this a serious go, our relationship, and I am, but, wow, between Lissa and Will, and the two of us . . . things are going to be so different.”
“I’m sure it’s hard; you two have been a team for so long. The two of you against the world. Then Will came into that world. And we know I didn’t knock politely like Will did. I knocked the damn door down to get to you. But life is always changing, honey. Sometimes it’s just a little faster than other times.”
“I know, but is it too much to ask for a small peek to know that everything is going to be okay?”
“It would be nice, wouldn’t it, but then where would the mystery be?”
“I don’t like mysteries.”
“Yes, you do. You love Lissa’s stories.”
“Exactly, stories. Real life, not so much.”
He wrapped his arms tightly around her. “All I can give you is my heart and soul. It’s here for you as long as you want it. There’s your peek into the future. That you can trust in.”
Hannah closed her eyes and took a moment to enjoy being truly loved by a man. It was something she had never expected in her life, but here it was, with Royce. Pushing everything else aside, she was content, and happy to be spending a quiet evening with her man. A man who was strong enough to show her the way back into the light so she could start wishing for herself again.
March
“Oh, my God! That was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had!” Lissa danced across the room.
“Darling, I take exception to that last comment,” Will said, looking up from the book he was reading with one eyebrow raised.
“Ha!” She went to him and sat down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Ellen has to be one to the nicest people I’ve ever met.”
“Again . . . exception.”
“Poop. Come on, you know there’s no one better than you. You, my lover, are the bar that everyone else must strive to reach.”
“Speaking of poop, it would appear it is getting deep in here. Maybe you should prove your statements to me.” He nuzzled her neck with his nose.
She missed his goatee, but he had to be clean-shaven for this role, although he had been letting his hair grow out for the part and she had more to run her fingers through. “I’m sure something could be arranged, if you play your cards right.”
“But why should I have to play any cards right? You are the one who wounded me.”
“Hmmm . . . well let’s see what I can do to make things better.” She started to unbutton his shirt and kissed her way down until she was kneeling in front of him. “Oh, Mr. Martinsson, would you be so kind as to allow me the privilege of having my way with you?”
“Why, Miss Loring, it would appear you are already on the correct path.”
“Man, how come I keep walking in on the two of you?” Hannah covered her eyes with her hand.
“That’s because you don’t knock.” Lissa climbed back up on Will’s lap and snuggled into him.
“What is it with everyone and knocking?” Hannah mumbled.
“Hmmm? Knocking?” Lissa frowned at her.
“Nothing, nothing. Anyway, I was wondering what we had on the agenda for tomorrow?”
“Just the normal, why?”
“I think I can help with that,” Will interrupted. “I have a feeling you’ve already spoken with Royce?” After she nodded, he continued, “We have a big scene tomorrow, all of the main cast will be there. Would you like to go?”
“As if you need to even ask, and Hannah is coming too? Now it’s perfect.” Lissa turned to Hannah. “How cool is this? Did you ever think a year ago, when we were watching the first movie for like the hundredth time, we’d actually be going to see film one of the sequels? Not to mention the fact we are dating two of the stars. Crazy, huh?”
“Yeah, totally crazy,” Hannah mumbled.
“I couldn’t make something so perfect up in a book.”
“Yes, you could, and have,” Hannah reminded her.
“Well, yeah, but you know what I mean. I’m so excited.”
“I hate to rain on your parade, darling, but it’s an early call,” Hannah said dryly.
“Figures, but this is going to be so amazing. I’ll deal.” Lissa jumped off his lap. “Is Ruby going to be there? We’ve stayed in contact since the premier last April and I want to get her a signed set of my books. She’s read them all.”
“Yes, she’ll be there.” He smiled at her.
“Perfect. I want to get a couple things done now since we’ll be busy tomorrow.” Lissa hooked her arm through Hannah’s and led her out of the room. “This is so cool. I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl.”
“You’re a nut job,” Hannah said.
“That goes without saying.” Lissa stopped in the hallway. “What’s up?”
“What do you mean, what’s up? Nothing’s up.”
“How come you’re pulling away from me?”
Hannah sighed. “Things are changing so fast. I just need some time to catch up.” Hannah raised her eyes and locked them with Lissa’s. “You know everything is going to be different. We can’t go back to the way things were before. It will never be the same. On one hand, everything we both ever could have dreamed of is coming true, but it will never just be the two of us again.” She laughed without humor. “Here we are roll reversal, wasn’t I just talking you off of the ledge yesterday? At least we’re on a different schedules, eh?”
“Yes, I know.” Lissa’s smile was sad. “But that’s life. We’re always on the move, always changing. But
one constant is the fact we will always have each other, no matter if we are in the same room or thousands of miles away. I know I’ve been upset about everything lately, and I’ve been having my own issues with all the changes, but you know what? We both deserve to be happy. We deserve the wonderful men in our lives, and that, my dear, is going to be the most amazing ride of them all. And as a bonus? We can still share everything with each other. We have the means to be able to hop on a flight and see the other, not to mention video calls. And the guys are filming at least two more movies in the superhero franchise together, we’ll see each other then. We can totally do this.”
“Have you been talking to Royce?”
“No, why, did we both give you the same pep talk?”
“Pretty much.”
“Ha! Well, smart man, smart man.”
“Shut it.”
Lissa laughed and flung her arm around Hannah’s shoulders and they continued on their way.
It had been a long day on the set but Hannah and Lissa enjoyed every moment of it. They were standing outside Royce’s trailer enjoying the last rays of the sun as it slowly set and the men were getting out of costume.
“Well, there was another dream come true. How cool was that, Hannah? Seriously, remember when we went to the premier of the last movie. This totally tops that.”
“Excuse me, but fans need to leave, now,” a snide female voice said.
Both women turned and saw one of the new cast members standing behind them.
Lissa gave her a tight smile. “We aren’t fans. Well, we are, but we also happen to have been invited by Will Martinsson and Royce Rivers, who we are waiting on.”
Hannah tried to remember the woman’s name. She only had a small role and wasn’t famous, yet. “Really you don’t need you to play security.” There was something about her that rubbed Hannah the wrong way.
Looking Hannah up and down, the actress couldn’t keep the contempt out of her body language and facial expressions. Her lips curled back and she hissed. “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Amanda Larson. I’m an actress and so much better than you are.”
“Wow, and humble too. How’d you get this far in the business?” Hannah said.
“Listen, bitch, I wouldn’t be so cocky if I were you. There’s no way a man like Royce would be interested in you for long. He’ll be bored soon, and then he’s all mine.” A wicked smile spread across her face, but didn’t reach her eyes.
“Well, geez, since you put it like that, I’ll just back off and you can have him. Yeah, there’s no way I could compete with a completely selfish, shallow package such as yourself.”
“Listen, you fat cow—”
“Oh no, you didn’t.” Hannah stepped closer to Amanda. “Listen, you delusional teeny-bopper, my size, while yes, larger than your size zero, is still below the average size of a woman. I’m healthy. You, on the other hand, I can see the sickness bleeding off you. You might want to eat a cheeseburger.”
Amanda’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.
“There, there, there,” Hannah cooed. “I know. You are completely shocked someone like me would have the audacity to talk to you so rudely. Well, sweet-cheeks, you treat people like shit, you’re going to get shit on. You may want to change your attitude; otherwise, you really aren’t going to be happy in life.”
Hannah looked up and saw Royce’s door open. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have a hot date with my man.” She brushed past Amanda and tried not to show how pissed off she was as she walked up to Royce.
“Well, you told her,” Lissa said from right beside her and Hannah jumped. She hadn’t realized she was right there.
“Can you believe her?”
“Kids these days.”
“It’s amazing how, what, ten years, can make a big difference in maturity.”
“Oh, yeah, ‘cause we’re always really mature.”
“Shut it.”
“See.”
“Well, ladies, how much did you enjoy today?” Royce spread his arms and Hannah walked into them, sighing when they wrapped tightly around her.
“It was fabulous,” Lissa answered. “I learned so much. I’m going to have to put something like this into a book.”
Royce laughed. “Of course you are. Just make sure I’m handsome and charming.”
“Oh, you mean lie?” Lissa laughed when Royce gently shoved her shoulder.
“Why do I put up with you?”
“Because I’m cute, and you think I’m funny.”
“Well, there is that. Now, let’s see if we can hurry Will up. I’m starving. Hannah, baby, please tell me you’ve got some food in your purse for me.” He held out his hand to her as they started walking the short distance to Will’s trailer.
Hannah dug out a bag of dried blueberries. “Who loves you, baby?”
“Not as much as I love you right now.” He grabbed them and quickly ate some. “I’ve never had anything taste as delicious in my whole life.”
“Boy, you’re easy.” Lissa smirked.
“Hey, now . . . sorry, I got nothing.” He grinned and popped some more into his mouth.
They only had to wait another fifteen minutes before Will came out to join them. As they were walking out toward the car, Hannah noticed Amanda partially hidden in the shadows watching them. She knew she was going to have to keep an eye on her.
Hannah and Royce were lying in bed together when he turned to her. “How would you like to run away with me for a week? Anywhere you want, just the two of us.”
She pulled away and looked at him. “Aren’t you filming a movie right now?”
“Yep, but, I’m not needed for the next week. So that means you and me, alone . . .” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
“But I have to work.”
“No, you don’t. I’m having Will let Lissa know what is going on.”
“Excuse me?” Hannah jumped out of bed and pulled on her robe. “You just decide, on your own, that we’re going away, and instead of, first off, asking me, you just assume I’ll agree to go somewhere with you and just . . .” She threw her arms up in the air. “Just forget about my responsibilities? Really? Do you not even know me?”
“Honey, come on. I thought you’d be excited about it.” Royce got up, went to her, wrapping his arms around her wiggling, pissed-off body and started kissing the back of her neck. “Can you blame a man so hopelessly in love with a woman he’d do whatever is necessary to show her how much she means to him by, like finding a way for them to spend some time together without distractions . . . except each other’s bodies?” He moved his hand up to cup her breast.
She slapped his hand away and elbowed him in the stomach, freeing herself. “Royce Rivers, you are not going to sweet talk me away from the issue here. You know I take my work seriously and you’re making me feel like what I do isn’t important. It can’t just be pushed to the side whenever a whim floats into your head.”
“You wouldn’t like the whim going through my head right now.” Royce rubbed his stomach and narrowed his eyes at her. “What’s the issue with me trying to make sure you allow yourself the time to have some fun?”
“The issue is the fact you essentially passed a note to Will to ask Lissa if it’s okay I take some time off. We aren’t in high school.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“No, Hannah, what’s really up your ass? Because it’s not the fact that I want to spend some time alone with you.”
“Nothing.”
“Fine.” He turned and started to walk out of the room. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready to pull your head out of your ass and talk to me about what’s really bothering you.”
Hannah sighed and watched him leave the room. She was being a bitch; there was no way around it. But that Amanda chick had gotten under her skin, more than she wanted to admit. The last thing she wanted was to tell Royce about her because she knew he’d try to ride to her rescue. Not as gallantly as Will would do for Lissa; Royce would come b
arreling through the door with both guns blazing. She had to decide what she was going to tell him, and soon.
Slowly she walked down the stairs and found Royce in the kitchen leaning on the counter staring at a bottle of vodka. For a moment, she was taken aback. He’d been sober for so long; she wondered what he was doing. “Hey . . .”
“Hey.” He used two fingers at the neck of the bottle and slowly spun it around. “You know being sober is like second nature now, but in the beginning, man it was rough. All I thought about was the drugs and alcohol, now not so much. But every once in a while, I need to . . . what . . . dance with the devil? I need to have it right in front of me to make sure I’m still strong enough, that I can stay sober.” He turned and leaned a hip against the counter and looked at her. “I am strong enough for you. If you’d just let me in, we can conquer anything. This, I know deep down in my soul. Now you need to know it.”
“I do know it. I trust you. I don’t trust me. Look what happened last time I allowed a man into my life. Before I knew it, I was fighting for my life. My judgment sucks.”
“Or maybe he was just that good at deceiving you.”
“Maybe.” She shrugged. “But you’re an actor. Who would be better at deceiving me than you?”
He looked at her for a moment before speaking. “Then why are we doing this? Why even bother?”
“Because my being was made for you. I know deep down there is no one else as perfect for me as you. My heart and soul tells me this every single second of the day. My brain on the other hand loves to analyze everything and poke holes in what my heart wants.”
“Why did you get so upset earlier?” He crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for her answer.
“It was nothing.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Well, it should have been nothing, but my brain decided to pick it apart.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“Not really, it’s all my issues and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
Walking over to Hannah, he took her hands in his and made sure she was looking him in the eye. “Please know, you can come to me with anything. Big or small, if it affects you, I need to be there for you.”