by N. L. Greene
J.T. came to the open bathroom door just as we were finishing up, and let out an appreciative whistle as he checked each of us out thoroughly. “You girls are lucky I look at you like little sisters, otherwise you might not be leaving the house tonight.”
“I wish,” Ash muttered under her breath; making me struggle to hold my laughter in.
J.T. noticed and gave me a questioning look. “What’s so funny, hot stuff?”
“Nothing!” I clamped my hand over my mouth and spun around to the mirror to check out what Ash had done. I saw J.T. watching me with a critical eye while he talked to Mel and Ash about where we were going and when we would be back, as well as making them promise we would call if we got into any trouble or needed a ride. I tried to ignore them all as I admired my new face. Ash had done a fantastic job! My make-up was natural and it made me look sort of exotic. It was a nice change from all the heavy eye liner and mascara I’d been wearing lately. Maybe I could get Ash to show me how she’d done it. I finally turned around and found J.T. watching me again. He shook his head and mumbled ‘dumb ass’ under his breath.
“Huh?” I asked, not sure if I’d heard him correctly or not.
“Nothing Nat, nothing at all. You girls have fun, but not too much fun,” he said sternly.
“Whatever. We won’t do anything you wouldn’t do. How about that?” Mel asked coyly.
“No way! You better not do even half that shit!” He tried to maintain his sternness but ended up smiling. “Just be careful and watch out for each other, okay?”
“Yes daddy,” we all chorused at once.
J.T. followed us to the door but stopped me from following the girls out with a soft hand on my shoulder. I turned back and looked up at him. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret later, Nat.”
I felt my cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and my anger grew. “Damn it, J.T.! I’m not a little kid. Why do you keep acting like this with me?”
“I just…” He stopped and blew out a breath. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk or hear about Miguel.” I started to turn away, feeling exactly like that, but he stopped me again. “Nat, just listen for a second! Miguel really does care about you, and I know you do about him. Just don’t do anything you’ll regret because you’re still mad at him, okay? And don’t let Mel talk you into anything you don’t want to do.”
“Why would you say that about Mel?” I asked; choosing to ignore what he’d told me about Miguel.
“She’s just got a pretty strong personality and I love that about her, but sometimes you give in when you shouldn’t. That’s all.”
I stared at him for a minute, trying to figure out what it was he wasn’t saying. Just then, Mel interrupted us. “Come on, ya slut! We gotta go!”
“Coming!” I shouted back at her, and then turned back to J.T. “I gotta go.”
“I know, just be careful babe, okay?”
“Okay, I will. Bye,” I said, but I was still confused. Everyone had been speaking all secretly and cryptically lately about Mel, almost like they were trying to tell me something but didn’t want to. Why couldn’t they just come right out and say whatever it was they wanted to say?
“Bye, and don’t forget to call if you need me.”
“’Kay!” I yelled back at him while climbing into the back seat of the car.
“What was that all about?” Ash asked, backing out of the driveway.
“I have no idea. He keeps treating me like I’m some little girl he has to protect. He doesn’t realize that every time he reminds me of that party and what almost happened, he makes me feel like a freakin’ idiot! I’m so sick of having to think about it. I just want it to stay in the past and move on.” I sighed.
“Well, let’s do it then! Tonight is a new night, with new guys and new memories!” Ash said enthusiastically.
“Whoo-hoo!” Mel and I both agreed, and then Mel cranked up the radio and we all sang along. The joint we’d smoked earlier and the reassurance from Ash had me relaxing enough to enjoy the music pumping rhythmically through the car. I was going to relax, enjoy myself, and maybe even meet a new guy. Maybe this one would actually work out.
Chapter 18
We got to the party and my apprehension grew a little when Mel told me that Sean lived in his own apartment with a few other guys. That was not a normal situation for high school kids, and so I hadn’t even considered the possibility. It was sort of weird walking into the apartment at first, because it was like walking into a giant version of a high school boy’s bedroom. You could instantly tell that eighteen year olds ran the house. None of the furniture matched, the kitchen was a mess with dirty dishes everywhere, and the only thing in the fridge was alcohol. I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose in disgust. Boys were really gross.
Sean greeted us right away, thrusting a beer in each of our hands before showing us around, and I noticed that Mel’s hand was in his while he did. Ash and I both gave her a covert thumbs up. It looked like Mel was going to get what she wanted, as usual. Sean seemed to be just as in to her as she was in to him. After the five second tour of the two bedroom apartment that apparently five guys lived in, Sean introduced us to two of his friends, Will and Paul. Both of them were his roommates, and both were in the Navy. They also both seemed to be in on the whole ‘set up’ thing and already knew who they wanted, because they parted right away. One moved toward Ash’s side and the other went to mine. Paul picked me and I had to admit, I was not the least bit disappointed. He was tall and thinner than what I would normally go for, but not too skinny and he had short blonde hair, deep green eyes, and tattoos peeking out of his shirt sleeves that covered both of his arms. He was ridiculously hot in a bad boy sort of way. I wasn’t usually attracted to tattooed and pierced guys, but when he looked down at me with a cute grin, showing small dimples in his cheeks, I decided I could totally get into bad boys.
“Hey Natalie. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to shake mine and I giggled at the gentlemanly gesture. I returned the handshake while Paul explained. “Sorry, it’s sort of a habit now.” His cheeks turned slightly pink, making him even cuter.
“It’s okay. It’s very polite.”
“Do you like polite guys?” He hadn’t let go of my hand yet, and took the opportunity to pull me just slightly closer when he asked.
“Yes, I think I do.” I smiled up at him.
“Good.” He let go of my hand but didn’t move away. “Do you want a drink?”
I had just finished my first beer and knew I probably shouldn’t drink anymore, considering I was already high when I got there and now had a slight buzz from knocking back the beer, but it was a party. “Yes, that would be great.”
“Be right back.” Paul was back in no time with another beer, which I drank quicker than I should have, but being around Paul was making me nervous! He was adorable and genuinely seemed in to me. I’d promised Mel I would try to get to know him, and I was. It was surprisingly easy, too. We all stood around and talked as a group for a little while, but eventually paired off and went our separate ways. I wasn’t sure who decided it, probably Mel, but I soon found myself sitting next to Paul on the couch. His arm was behind my head, absently playing with my hair as he told me the story of how he’d ended up in the Navy, and I told him about my family and school. I didn’t lie about my age like Mel was always telling me to do, and Paul didn’t seem to mind our two year age difference. He was nice and seemed to be listening intently to what I said. It was nice to talk to someone new who didn’t know anything about my past embarrassments.
“You wanna walk with me to get another beer?” he asked after we’d been talking for a while. He wiggled his empty beer bottle at me, showing that it was empty. I glanced up to try and find Mel and Ash. I saw that Ash was in the small dining room animatedly talking to Will, but I couldn’t find a trace of Mel. I didn’t even want to think about where she was or what she was doing. We’d promised to stick together tonight, but neither of them seemed to be paying much attention to m
e anyway, so I didn’t bother to check in with them.
“Sure.” I smiled and followed behind Paul to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door and motioned me over so that we could both peer into the fridge; heads bent close together to view the contents.
“What would you like? Beer, beer, or…beer?” He chuckled softly and I glanced slyly at him. He was exceptionally good looking, he seemed really nice, and his laugh was super sexy. I thought I might be able to get over Miguel with a guy like Paul. Paul looked at me then, probably because I had been so lost in thought I hadn’t answered him, and caught me staring like a love-struck fool. He blinked once and closed the gap of the few inches that separated us to touch his lips hesitantly to mine.
I didn’t feel the same immediate, magnetic reaction that I’d felt with Miguel when he kissed me, but it still felt nice. Paul’s lips were soft and moist, warm and gentle. He pulled back and looked questioningly into my eyes, and when I didn’t say anything or move away he touched my lips with his again, firmer this time. He reached a hand up and gently cradled the back of my head, pulling my body up and closer to his, all while our lips were still joined. I closed my eyes, tilted my head and opened my mouth to his kiss. He didn’t need any more encouragement. He greedily plunged his tongue into my mouth, not roughly but definitely demanding. He moved me back against the counter with his body, and I vaguely heard the refrigerator door closing as he did.
My back was jammed against the kitchen counter and Paul’s muscled body was flush against the front of mine. The kiss may not have sizzled right away, but the more I kissed him and the longer our tongues mingled while his body rubbed against mine, the more turned on I got. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and one of my hands moved up to thread my fingers through his short hair. Paul’s grip on my neck held me more firmly as his other hand moved to grab my waist. He ground his hips into mine and I groaned at the feel of his hard body thrusting against mine. At my groan, he growled and wrapped his arm completely around my waist, lifting me effortlessly onto the counter top. He spread my legs with his hips and moved in as he jerked my body flush with his once again.
My heart was racing, my chest was tight, and my entire body heated like it never had been before. I kissed Paul just as frantically as he kissed me; our tongues battling and our hands groping. I groaned again when I felt his warm palm cupping my bare breast. I hadn’t even felt his hand move from my waist and up my shirt, but it felt so good. He rubbed his thumb over my nipple and my hips bucked into his.
“Get a room!” someone yelled from right beside me and I jerked again, this time out of Paul’s arms; slamming my head forcefully into the cabinets behind me.
“Fuck!” I yelled at the pain in my head. Whoever’s head was stuck in the fridge heard me and started laughing. He grabbed a beer, winked at me, and then left the kitchen.
I looked at Paul. His chest was heaving and his fists were clenched at his sides. He was still standing between my legs, but now the only points of our bodies that were touching were my knees and his hips. He looked up into my eyes and I gasped. His pupils were dilated and the thin strip of green I could still see was almost glowing. The sight of what I’d done to him made my body tingle and my thighs clench.
“I want you Natalie, now.” He took a deep unsteady breath before continuing. “Tell me what you want.”
Holy shit! If possible, he sounded even hotter than before. My body was on fire, my mind was hazy and I knew that I’d never felt this level of passion before. I heard a faint moral whisper in the back of my head telling me to be careful, that I should wait, but my body said something totally different, and so did my mouth. “You,” I whispered.
He didn’t hesitate after that. He grabbed my hand, tugged me from the counter and out of the kitchen. I followed closely behind, weaving in and out of people and down the back hall. We quickly made our way to the last room on the right, where the door was closed. He opened it and peeked in before pulling me in behind him. He pushed the door shut and locked it, and then he turned back to me.
I could feel my body shaking. I’d never been remotely this close before, and I was absolutely terrified. But I also wanted to just get it over with. I heard Mel’s insistent voice in the back of my head telling me that my virginity wasn’t that big of a deal, and that I needed to just get rid of it as fast as I could. Paul was hot, he wanted me, and he stirred up fires I’d never felt before. I may have just met him, but I already knew it would be good. I liked how passionate and wild he made me feel in the kitchen, and I wanted to feel it again. Now.
“You sure?” Paul asked gently, which pulled me from my carnal thoughts. I looked into his eyes and answered with my body, wrapping my arms around his neck and pushing my lips to his again.
***
I wanted to cry.
Although Paul was gentle and did a really good job of getting me all hot and ready, it didn’t stop the intense, burning pain when he pushed inside of me. I cried out, but he was too far gone to notice. We were both too far gone to remember a condom. When it was all over I found myself sober, sore, and completely humiliated. How was I going to walk out of that room and face everyone, knowing they knew exactly what had just happened in there?
I felt Paul’s hand delicately trace up my arm to my shoulder and it took everything in me not to flinch away. I didn’t want him to touch me! I felt dirty and stupid.
When I didn’t say or do anything, he rolled me over on my back. “Hey baby.” He smiled down at me before kissing me tenderly on the lips.
“Hey.” It took everything in me to keep my voice steady.
“That was great,” he said with another soft kiss.
“Umm…yeah, it was,” I said quickly. I was soooo embarrassed! I didn’t want to talk about what had just happened, not with him right there, with no clothes on!
He narrowed his eyes slightly to look at me better, but thankfully there was a knock on the door. “Nat? You in there?”
It was Ash! I let out a relieved breath. “Yeah, hold on!” I yelled as I scrambled out of the bed; putting my clothes on as fast as I could. Paul hesitated for a second as he silently watched me, but then he did the same. By the time I opened the door, he had his pants on and was pulling his shirt over his head.
Ash stepped back abruptly when I opened the door more forcefully than necessary. “Hey, you…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes widened at the state of Paul and his manner of undress. Her gaze quickly moved back to mine and her concerned eyes searched my face. “You okay?” she asked softly, so Paul couldn’t hear.
“Yeah, I’m okay. What’s up?” I said way too cheerfully. Thankfully Ash caught on to my unease, but didn’t give me away.
“I need you for a sec. Sorry Paul, girl stuff. Be right back!” she yelled over her shoulder as she dragged me away; not giving him a chance to object or follow. I didn’t look up, or even around as I trailed dejectedly behind Ash. I held on tightly to her hand and kept my gaze glued to the floor until I knew we were safely ensconced in the bathroom with the door shut firmly behind us. Then I cried.
“Oh my God, Nat! Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Ash demanded as she gently pulled me into her arms.
“No…no...he…didn’t,” I tried to say between sobs, but couldn’t manage to give any more of a detailed response than that.
“Okay, just calm down and tell me what’s wrong.” She rubbed my back soothingly until I was able to calm down and tell her what had just happened. All of it – every embarrassing, irresponsible detail.
“Oh baby girl! I’m so sorry you feel this way! You shouldn’t have done it if you weren’t ready honey,” she said softly.
“I know, but Mel kept saying it wasn’t a big deal and how lame I was for still being a virgin. I just wanted to get it over with, and Paul was so nice and cute and he made me feel special. I just thought…” I trailed off helplessly.
Ash let out a frustrated sigh. “Damn it, Nat! You have got to stop letting Melanie dictate to you like that! She does
n’t know everything, and she certainly doesn’t know what’s best for you!”
“But she’s my best friend!” I said lamely.
“Yes, sweetheart I know, but you need to start standing up to her and doing what you want for a change. Okay? If not, then maybe you need to start shopping around for a new best friend.”
“But why?” I sobbed again. I was finally starting to piece things together, other things people had said and hinted about Mel, including what Ash had just said, but right now it was too much to absorb. My heart was breaking for so many reasons, and I just couldn’t think straight.
“Okay Natty, calm down honey. You gotta stop crying. We’ll talk about Mel and all that other shit later, okay? When you feel better. For now, I think we need to leave and make plans for you to go to the doctor A.S.A.P.” She gave me a look, which was her way of chastising me for being so stupid without actually saying the words.
“Okay,” I said, but I was still really dazed and didn’t even understand what it was I had agreed to. I felt overwhelmed and humiliated by what I’d just done, and mortified over the fact that I would have to face Paul once I left the bathroom.
Sensing my feelings, Ash quickly reassured me again. “Look, its okay. Paul seems really great, and I’m sure he’s going to be cool when we get back out there. We’ll find Mel wherever she’s at and leave as soon as we can, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I sighed in defeat, anticipating the agony of facing him and everyone else out there.
“Okay, let’s go.” Ash opened the door and Paul was there. I saw worry and fear in his eyes and apprehensively looked to Ash for help.