by Belvin, Love
Azmir took me by the hand and discreetly walked me away from the group, “I left money for you upstairs in my nightstand drawer. Take what you need.”
As I looked in his eyes I wanted to tell him thank you for making me feel like I was spoken for, but I couldn’t. I had to snap out of that fantasy and remind myself that just because I was in a fairytale-like place didn’t mean I was in a fairytale. I thanked him and we parted ways.
All the women, including me, looked at the men as they trotted off like we were children lost in the park.
Chanell walked over to me and trilled, “Girl, where we going?” very friendly and familiarly.
I smiled, “I don’t know. Kim has the keys to the wheels!” Kim giggled.
We went back to our rooms and met in the parking lot ten minutes later. We drove into town with directions from the bus boy. I could see all the girls had “the element”, even Kim who was apparently older. They all seemed somewhat familiar with each other, which led me to believe they’ve been out together before.
In the car, Syn, who was in the front passenger seat as I was in the back, turned and asked, “So, how long you been wit’ Divine?”
I had to think quickly, I didn’t know who Divine was. Revelation hit and I was able to place the D in A.D. Jacobs. I also recalled hearing the guys refer to Azmir as Divine. I stumbled a bit because I’d only referred to him as Azmir Jacobs. I felt her question was intrusive and rude in delivery but I had to remember her element.
“We’re not ‘together’. We’re just friends,” I answered in what I felt was a polite manner. I didn’t want any trouble on my much needed vacation.
“Hmmmmmm!” she hummed as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the front of the car.
I wondered what that was all about and asked, “Is that supposed to mean something? It missed me.”
“Syn, don’t start ‘dat bullshit. You always on some drama type shit. You don’t even know shortie like ‘dat! Let it ride!” Chanell demanded confirming how childish Syn was behaving.
“Yeah, girl! You need to stay out of Divine’s business before Kid kick yo’ ass,” Kim warned calmly. She seemed to play her position as second lady to the vice president very well. Everyone pretty much remained quiet for the rest of the ride.
We weren’t in town for long. No one seemed in the shopping mood. Syn and Chanell bought a few things but Kim and I didn’t indulge much. Chanell shopped with great enthusiasm. She seemed to have had the most energy out of the four of us.
Chanell was beautiful, thick with caramel skin and had a Kelis-type two-toned blonde curly afro. She was maybe five nine and weighed maybe two forty. She had an eclectic style, or maybe one she had yet to decide on. Chanell kept picking up different pieces of clothing that represented several approaches to fashion. I could tell the money that the guy, Wop, gave her was burning a hole in her pocket.
Syn was a red bone like her man, Kid. She was about two inches shorter than Chanell and could weigh no more than a hundred and ten. This girl was incredibly skinny! She wore a jet-black straight weave that came down to her shoulders. Her high-pitched voice annoyed the hell out of me.
Kim had bronzed brown skin and was about five feet five inches. She had to be well over two hundred and sixty-five pounds. I could tell she had an impressive body before the children, who she mentioned several times on the way into town. She wore a bun in her hair and had a pretty face, too. She seemed very reserved and watchdog-like as she observed the girls and me with her hands folded across her bountiful breasts. She chimed in on jokes and occasionally gave her opinion even when it wasn’t solicited, but still seemed very quiet all together. I hadn’t decided if she was chaperoning or just observing closely to get to know me.
After shopping, we returned to the resort and Chanell asked if she could join me on the beach. I told her it would be fine and before I knew it all the ladies said they’d be out there. I tried not to reveal my true desire of not wanting to be bothered. I realized that these women weren’t very entertained without their men, unlike me who was in an entirely different situation. I imagined that Chanell was in a unique one herself.
I arrived on the beach first and Chanell wasn’t too far behind. Eventually we were all seated together on the sand. We aligned our chairs together, or should I say Chanell put her chair next to mine and the girls followed. We were out there for hours and that Syn kept throwing me nasty looks and unearned scoffs. I was already over her antagonism. My menstrual cramping allowed limited patience for Syn. I’d taken several pills to help with pain.
Throughout the many hours we spent on the beach, Chanell was covertly feeding me the scoop on everyone. She said that the fellas, along with Azmir, on this trip call themselves The Clan. There were hundreds of them according to her. She said Azmir was at the helm and, through Petey, he tried to inject positive activities for at risk youth in the hood. She said Azmir had serious ties to the streets and gives back although he’s now a successful businessman. I wanted to pry a little more but my gut told me to shut up and just listen. In between taking dips in the water, the others girls sleeping and going to the bar for drinks she gave me the back-stories on Kim and Syn and said that they’d been dating Petey and Kid for years. Their relationships’ beginning was unorthodox to say the least—all of these my words and not hers. Chanell was as hood as they come. Her disfluencies were off the charts…and I enjoyed it. She gossiped a lot, but I decided right away that I liked her. There was something very endearing about her.
Chanell reported that Syn was a local whore who lucked up with somebody in The Clan. She never knew her father nor had any brothers. All she had was a mother who had too many men with only one thing in mind, getting her ass. Because that was all she was surrounded with, all she knew was how to please a man physically. She would sneak into her mom’s closet and observe her sexual performances and developed skills. The first one she adapted was oral sex. Her mom would start off each love session with oral pleasure. So what she would do was wait until her cousin, Dinky, came over and practiced on him. Syn was seven while Dinky was six. Dinky didn’t exactly understand what was going on, he was a crack baby with brain deficiencies. While the words were pouring out of her mouth, all I could do was wonder why Syn would share this sensitive information with her. Did she have any dignity at all? Chanell continued her tale saying neither one of their mothers knew what was going on. They were always so high and drunk together; the children were doing them a service by getting lost. Syn’s sexual curiosities followed her to age sixteen when she was propositioned by one of her mother’s lovers. He offered to give her money if she shared her love with him every now and then. Ever since that day her dignity and self-value had been challenged.
Kid came along when she was at her lowest. Syn stayed with her mother along with a crack-head that ran with her mom back then. Kid was a young, very small time hustler back then and sold to her mother and friends on a regular basis. Kid worked out a deal where he would stay there with the women temporarily until he got on his feet and in exchange for rooming, he would supply her for free. The neighborhood that Charla, Syn’s mother, lived in was crack-head’s harbor and was not occupied by real runners so he was assigned to open up shop there. Syn wasn’t feeling him or the agreement but what could she do? At first Kid thought she was a freeloading broad that had no future and got high on the “low”. That was until he got to know her and after staying there for about a month a half she didn’t make any requests but would offer to make him meals when there was enough food. He took to that. He hadn’t had that type of care from a woman since his toddler stage. They say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Chanell quoted. So when his time came to move on to greener domestic pastures Kid took Syn. And they’ve been together ever since. Miserable at times, but a couple with children.
She started on Kim next. Kim’s from Detroit and came to L.A. to do some acting. She got a few gigs as extras but nothing of significance ever materialized. Depression started
settling in and in response she started partying wildly. This was back when Divine and Petey did local parties around the way. She went to one of the parties and met Petey when he was fresh out of the pen. He married her right away and they had five children right away. She put on an insane amount of weight as the children piled on and lost control of it. Chanell guessed that didn’t matter because they’re good together.
“She got his back and he take good care of her. She know Petey got crazy hours because he be out making sure all Divine street business is handled while he’s on the day job. She nice and all but she could just be so quiet!” Chanell told me. I was wondering what type of “street business” she was referring to but once again reserved my impulse to ask.
“So, where you from, Rayna?” Chanell asked. At this point of the conversation the other girls were around and listening in.
“I’m from the east coast. I went to school in North Carolina,” I said coolly. I didn’t want to go beyond that and didn’t have to because that’s when Syn shrilled, “Oh, you one of them brainiac bitches, hunh?!” and began laughing manically. She was inebriated but I didn’t care. I lost it at that point. I couldn’t understand what was written on my forehead to make this chick believe I could be tested. Was it my feminine docile manner? I had to check her and right away.
“I don’t know who the fucckkk…” I enunciated, “…you take me for but you got one more time to come out your face with another smart remark and Im’ma slap the living shit out you!” I bawled, calling on all of my around the way flair.
Syn’s neck snapped. “Who the fuck she think she talking to?” She seemed to have asked someone else instead of me.
“What I tell you, Syn, about your mouth? Just shut the hell up before all this shit get carried away and back to Divine and Kid!” Kim advised.
“Oh, no! Don’t tell her another muthafuckin’ thing! Let her keep running her mouth. And fuck what any of them gonna say because I’m gonna whoop your high yellow ass!” I said as I walked up on her ready to swing. I was out of breath and had clearly lost control of my temper.
She followed up and walked towards me, too, like she was ready to brawl. The girls got in between us so that it wouldn’t go down. Once she saw she had a barrier Syn hog spit and aimed it at me. It landed on my foot. Anger rose from the pit of my core. I pulled my fist as far back as my arm would recoil and swung forward with such force that I lost my balance when Chanell pushed Syn totally out of my range. Syn stumbled but managed to land on her feet. At that time I moved closer to her to swing again when Kim belted out, “Stop it!!”
People back in L.A. had to hear that. It seemed as if everyone on the beach obeyed that command because there was dead silence and all eyes were on us. Chanell gave me an “I can’t let you fight her” look as she shook her head forlornly. Kim’s expression told me she wasn’t letting anything go down on her clock either. I was so infuriated that I grabbed my things and trekked back to the hotel building just a few feet away.
I had to calm myself down and realized that I was with people of a certain element, as Jamie Foxx so profoundly put it. And although I was, too, I was out numbered. To take it down and summons my class and dignity as well as manage my back pain and cramping I put on smooth music I managed to find on the radio. I took a bath in the gigantic whirlpool, submerging the back of my head to soak all the salt from my weave. I ran about three baths to be sure most was out and after which, I showered and washed my hair. When I got out I began blow-drying my hair so the braids underneath wouldn’t be so damp. Having extensions added to your natural hair was so much work but well worth the look when it was complete.
As I was looking in the mirror taming my hair I jumped when I saw Azmir’s alluring gaze upon me from over my shoulder. He had a soft smile that took my breath away, but for some reason I knew he had heard what took place on the beach. I was prepared to handle him, I’d just hope this wouldn’t get too ugly.
“You startled me,” I said dryly. Self-protection mode on.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you are visibly upset and cute as hell about it.” His smile disappeared and I secretly wondered if my callous tone was the cause. When he used words like visibly in such an articulate way, I totally forgot I was talking to the thug and pulled back. He confused the hell out of me with that. But I just played along.
“I take it you heard what happened?” I tried goading him.
“I have.” His expression is impassive. “Don’t sweat it. Girls like Syn are very insecure, so insecure that they try to sniff out the insecurities in well-put together women. You can’t allow her to get the best of you, but unfortunately you have to demand your respect and that’s the only way it works with people like her,” he said with such calm and wisdom.
With guards still up I turned to him. “Look Azmir, I didn’t come out here to cause any trouble or to be tested by some chicken-head. You told me that I’d vacation during the day and retreat with you during the evening.”
“And you haven’t done that? Have I not been true to my word?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. This is when I found him intimidating.
“For the most part—yes, but if you knew this girl was going to test me why didn’t you at least forewarn me?”
“I didn’t know it was going to happen, but I have to be honest, after my last relationship I told myself my next woman in my life had to be able to mingle with my people and not just the refined ones, either.” His voice was firm and my nipples hardened at his subtle warning. But who said I want to be yours?
“So this was a test?” That came out just as harsh as I intended it to. I needed to know.
“No, but it was probably inevitable. You handled yourself well and I don’t think you’ll be getting any flak from her again. Chanell told me if it wasn’t for her you would’ve knocked the wind out of that girl!” he snorted.
I didn’t find it funny at all. He didn’t understand. I was out there trying to get my sexy on not my thug!
“Yeah, whatever…” I muttered and continued doing my hair. He walked away as coolly as he appeared. Once I was done, I got dress and lay across the bed with a book. About a half hour later, Azmir came in and asked if I wanted to go to the local store with him off the property. I told him I would and slipped on shoes and grabbed my bag.
We caught a cab and then walked to the store that was a few miles away from the resort and into the residential area. The community was humble and the locals were sitting out in front of the buildings looking at everything that moved out in the heat. We talked as we walked. Azmir had an interesting way of theorizing life, a way of simplifying the complexities of it. A way of influencing my views. I absorbed his wisdom but clandestinely. I couldn’t relinquish total trust to him. As I told Michelle, who thought I was crazy, I could feel there were some things he was keeping from me.
We made a turn down a rather dark alley. Although it was dim I could see the lights from the bodega that was some yards away. Azmir was in the middle of telling me a story about his first visit to Puerto Vallarta when out of nowhere I see two small but round images in my periphery scurrying around. In a clearer view, once they were upon us they encircled Azmir who was already in a defensive stance when my eyes landed on him. Both guys were significantly shorter than Azmir, but one of them was very bulky. They rushed him and began swinging on him.
I should have screamed but instead I froze momentarily in total disbelief of what was occurring not knowing what to do. The fight or flight response is real when faced with danger because in that moment my mind perpended with running for protection, but my heart cemented me in place reminding me that Azmir was here and I should stay with him. Protect him. Adrenaline coursed through my body and I experienced intermittent periods of hot and cold flashes as my heart pulse drummed in my ears.
Unlike me, Azmir was calm. He immediately went into fight mode and punched with measured forces, rarely did he miss a punch as tried to gain distance to have a vantage point. He kept his chin down and hi
s eyes were dark and predatory. He scared even me. When one of his punches dazed the taller of two assailants Azmir began jabbing him with lightning speed. He was tagging them with thunder. The shorter guy kept giving him body shots in the right shoulder to try to prevent him from being able to use it because he saw Azmir was lighting up his struggling partner with harsh jabs.
After I came down from my shock and disbelief, I pulled out my knife and pepper spray. I had to think quickly; they were not taking Azmir down. I couldn’t sit back and watch it happen; it just couldn’t go down like that.
I drew the pocketknife and started slashing the big guy in the back with rapid speed. He yelped with pain as he turned around to attack, spewing vulgarities in his native tongue. That’s when I maced the hell out of him and quickly kicked him in the balls as hard as my bare feet in my flip-flops would allow me. I could’ve kneed him but I didn’t want to get too close for him to grab me. As I watched him fall to his knees, I saw him cup his jewels with one hand and his face with the other and saw that it worked. When I looked about to see Azmir, he had the bulky guy on the ground beating him to a bloody pulp.
I shrieked, “Azmir!”
It tore my heart out to see him incensed with rage. I needed to let him know we had to go in case more came. He jumped up to leave but not before using those same angry eyes to access me. That’s when I realized I’d had blood on my hands and clothes.
“Where are you hurt?” he barked with flared nostrils.
“I’m not. This isn’t my blood.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Azmir, let’s go before more come!”
Azmir went over to the guy that I maced and stomped him in the head before kicking him in the nuts. I winced as the man shrieked in pain. Azmir then grabbed my hand and we ran to the nearby store. As we approached the building, Azmir yelled, “Where the fuck is Papeto? WHERE’S PAPETO!” so loud it frightened even me and apparently the young olive boy in front of the store. The little guy jumped off the stool and ran to open the door for us after calling for someone.