“Okay, scientists, what do I have in front of me?” Ms. Karp asked in a matter-of-fact voice. She pointed a long finger toward the top of her crowded desk. Alfie immediately raised his hand, waving it wildly. Everyone in the class, except for Grace, rolled their eyes at him.
Jerks, thought Grace. What’s wrong with Alfie being smart and knowing the answer?
“Mr. DaCosta?” Ms. Karp smiled warmly at Alfie.
“Animal habitats, with species from each of the main groups—insects, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals.”
“Bravo as usual, Mr. DaCosta! Your powers of observation continue to develop. Now, class, for the rest of the lesson, you will work in pairs, observing one species in its habitat. Six teams will work here in the classroom observing our live furry, scaled, and feathered friends. Each team is to write down everything they see—no detail is too small. The remaining teams will do research in the library. Tomorrow, we’ll compare book facts with in vivo observations.”
“In what?” shouted Larry Perlmutter, who was always calling out in class.
“In vivo, Mr. Perlmutter,” Ms. Karp said curtly. “Latin for ‘within the living.’ Studies that are in vivo are those in which the effects of various biological entities are tested on whole, living organisms as opposed to dead ones.”
Ms. Karp reached behind her desk and picked up a fishing net. “I’ll choose our in vivo teams randomly, by plucking names from my sorting net. Once your names are called, come up here and get right to work. Not exactly Hogwarts, but still exciting, don’t you think?”
“This sounds like tons of fun,” whispered Alfie as he turned to face Grace.
“I know, right?” Grace whispered. Then she crossed her fingers, closed her eyes, and prayed. Please, please pick me to observe, please, please, please.
“Amelia and Joseph,” Ms. Karp picked out the first pair. “You will watch our fine feathered friend Cornelius, the canary.” Ms. Karp reached into the net again, “Becca and William, you get Terence, the toad. Louisa and Larry, you get Leonardo, the lizard…Christopher and Sam, you will watch Mr. Fuzzy-Wuzzy, the angora rabbit… Kieko and Hallie’s eyes will swim in circles watching my glorious group of golden guppies, and let’s see...last but not least, Grace and Christi, you get the privilege of observing Earl, Eartha, Ellen, Egbert and Ella, the ethereal earthworms.”
Grace’s heart plunged to the pit of her stomach. Working with Christi? Un-be-friggin’-lievable. She wanted to sink into the floor and slink away.
“I’ll be praying for you,” Alfie sighed as he patted Grace’s shoulder.
Grace got out of her seat and walked toward the earthworm terrarium.
“Christi,” Ms. Karp called. “We’re waiting for you up here.”
“Ugh! Ms. Karp, do I have to? Earthworms are the grossest,” Christi wailed, sneering at Grace as if she were a piece of chewing gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. “I mean the second-grossest.”
“Enough, Christi. We haven’t all day. You’re using up valuable research time.” Ms. Karp said curtly, her arms flapping like wild bird wings.
“Oh, whatever. I’m coming,” Christi mumbled, stomping over to join Grace with much irritable sighing and eye-rolling.
“Okay, library scholars. Let’s go. I’ll get you set up with Mr. Wang and then be back in the classroom to help our in vivo teams. You all have twenty-five minutes to take copious notes and wow me with your brilliance.” Ms. Karp marched out of the classroom, followed by the rest of the students.
Once Ms. Karp had gone, Christi took out a nail file from the back pocket of her jeans and plopped down in Ms. Karp’s desk chair, her Ugg-booted feet up on the desk. She began studiously shaping her French-polished fingernails.
“What do you think you’re doing, Christi?” Grace hissed. “This isn’t study hall. We’ve got work to do.”
“I can’t stand worms,” Christi spat. “You’re the science nerd, Grace Minnaugh. You watch those slimy things yourself.”
As Christi turned her attention back to her fingernails, Grace imagined horns growing out of the top of Christi’s skull. “Thanks, bonehead,” she countered. “I’d actually prefer working by myself.”
Christi stuck her tongue out at Grace and went on filing. Grace knew that fighting with Christi would only get them both in trouble. Blind worms squirming around in the dirt didn’t make for a whole lot of action, but Grace kept her eyes glued to the terrarium for five minutes, jotting down every boring fact of earthworm activity: The big grayish worm with the skinny rear-end worked its way from the top left side to the bottom right side in ten minutes. It made a thirty-second pit stop midway to check out a white pebble. The two brown worms keep bumping into each other and not getting anywhere very fast. The small white worm with the pink head seems to like the bottom left side and hasn’t moved at all. I hope it is just asleep and not dead.
Ten minutes later, Christi sat up suddenly as Ms. Karp came bounding back in the room. Christi grabbed the pad and pen out of Grace’s hands and moved toward the terrarium.
“What are you doing?” Grace hissed.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m being scientific,” Christi shot back. She scribbled away as if she were taking dictation.
“How are you girls doing?” Ms. Karp asked.
“Great, Ms. Karp,” Christi chirped. “Look how many notes I have already.” She flipped the pages over to show Ms. Karp Grace’s notes.
Grace was on the verge of crying out that they were her notes, not Christi’s, but she resisted. The last thing she wanted was for Ms. Karp to think she was a bad sport and a tattletale.
Ms. Karp read Grace’s notes and smiled. “Interesting observations. Keep up the good work.” Ms. Karp handed the pad back to Christi before her attention was diverted by the rabbit team at the other end of the room. “Christopher!” she cried, “Don’t grab Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy by the ears!”
“That was low,” Grace growled at Christi.
“Deal with it.” Christi shoved the pad and pen back at Grace, then approached the teacher holding her right wrist with her left hand. “Oh, Ms. Karp, my wrist is killing me from writing all those notes. Can I go to the nurse and get an ice pack?”
“I suppose so. But don’t be too long.”
“Thank you soooo much,” Christi replied as she staggered dramatically out the door.
Grace steamed with rage. I’ve got to do something about that gargoyle before my head explodes, she thought. She stared at the little pink worm—Ellen, or was it Egbert? The poor little worm was definitely no longer of this world. The worm was deader than dead. Then an idea came to her. Grace walked over to Ms. Karp and asked her a quick question. Ms. Karp was busy trying to get Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy out from under the file cabinet, so she was slightly distracted. But Grace got an answer that fit perfectly with her plans.
Grace returned to the terrarium. Quickly and discreetly, she reached into the terrarium, plucked out the deceased earthworm and carried it to Christi’s desk. Grace opened Christi’s backpack and placed the earthworm inside the brown paper bag containing Christi’s lunch—an apple, yogurt, three dry crackers, and half a peanut butter sandwich. “Rest in peace,” Grace whispered, before scooting back to the terrarium just as Christi strode back into the classroom. Christi made a beeline for her desk and her Day-Glo pink make-up compact. Checking her reflection in the tiny mirror, she primped, smoothed, and puckered—completely self-absorbed, as usual.
Grace didn’t say a word. Now, actions would speak louder than words. Grace could not help but smile to herself, just a little, as she pretended to write more fascinating facts about Egbert. A few minutes later, the rest of the class returned from the library.
Ms. Karp deposited a very dusty Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy back in his cage and clapped her hands. “Okay, scientists, time to pack up your things and say adios to our fine-feathered, cold-blooded, fuzzy, and sl
imy friends. Tomorrow we compare notes. I hope everybody had a chance to make some interesting observations.”
Christi passed Grace on the way out the door, her protein-enriched lunch swinging from her shoulder. Grace cheerfully gathered her own belongings. Before leaving the classroom, she turned back to where the teacher leaned against her desk. “Ms. Karp?” she called.
“Yes, Grace?”
“I just wanted to thank you for this wonderful opportunity. I will remember this day for the rest of my life.”
Chapter Twenty One: Showdown at Table 12
Grace and Alfie took their usual seats in the cafeteria at lunch. Between bites of shrimp salad sandwich, Grace stole glances at the central table, where Christi sat with her group of faithful followers.
“When is she gonna eat, already?” Grace muttered under her breath. She was starting to wonder whether the worm prank had been a brilliant idea or a really stupid one. She had never done anything so downright mean before. Was she stooping to Christi’s level? Or lower? Revenge might be sweet, but it was also anxiety provoking.
“What are you mumbling about, Grace?” asked Alfie. “And why do you keep looking over at those jerks?” He jammed a stack of potato chips inside his bologna sandwich and took a big crunchy bite.
“You’ll see soon enough, Alfie. Promise you won’t desert me if things get ugly.”
“Ugly, how?”
Grace was distracted watching Christi and her apostles and didn’t reply. Christi finally stopped gabbing and opened her lunch bag. Grace closed her eyes, scrunched her head down between her shoulders, and steeled herself for what she knew would follow. Sure enough, a second or two later, Christi let out a bloodcurdling yell that silenced the entire cafeteria.
“Ew, ew, ew, EEEWWWWW!” Christi threw the paper bag across the table and everything—including the rigor-mortised worm—spilled to the floor.
Grace opened her eyes in time to see Christi bounding across the cafeteria in her direction, a fearsome scowl on her face, her hands clenched into fists. Here we go, thought Grace. I am dead meat.
“That was, like, so unbelievably NOT funny!” Christi stood over Grace’s seat, shaking her fist in Grace’s face. “I’m telling Karp that you killed her precious earthworm. Your bony butt will be in detention for, like, forever!”
Despite the violent trembling that seemed to have overtaken her limbs, Grace managed to stand up and meet Christi eye to eye. “Gimme a break, Christi. You deserve to eat worms. Real food is too good for you. Tell Ms. Karp. See if I care. And, news flash. Once I turn in my handwritten homework, she’ll figure out who wrote those earthworm notes today.”
The rest of the kids in the cafeteria stared at the two girls in shocked silence. All sorts of kids smiled furtively at Grace. Skaters, Preppies, Jocks, Nature Nuts. One really cute Dude with blond hair gave her an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Grace had never received so much positive attention. She felt downright heroic.
“Oh, shut up, Miss Goody Good,” growled Christi. “You’re such a nerd. Why don’t you go back to wherever it is you came from? Crawl back under your pathetic little rock with the worms.” Christi shoved Grace’s shoulder, which sent Grace flying backward. Luckily, someone caught Grace before she hit the ground. Grace looked up and smiled. It was Tanya who had saved her.
“Enough, Christi. You’re totally out of line,” said Tanya as she helped Grace to her feet. “I’m sick of you bossing me and everybody else around.”
“Fine, Tanya. Who needs you anyway, you…you…foreigner!” Christi sneered. “Hang out with losers like Minnaugh and your midget cousin, see if I care.”
Alfie bolted out of his chair and stood face to face (actually face to neck) with Christi. “Watch who you call a midget, Worthlesston. You may be taller than me, but I bet I have more brain cells in my little finger than you have in your actual brain. That is if you have an actual brain.”
The kids watching burst out in giggles and cheers. Grace, Tanya, and Alfie grinned triumphantly. Grace looked from cousin to cousin. She had a crew. How cool was that?
Just as Grace was feeling really victorious, the lunchroom monitor sprinted over and broke up the action. Christi marched back to her table with a face redder than a cooked lobster, while Grace and her posse returned to their own seats.
Grace turned to Tanya. “You okay?”
Tanya glanced back toward the Fashionistas’ table and took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. I should have done something like that a long time ago.”
“Well, just be glad you did it now. And welcome to our special table in lunchroom Siberia.”
“Thanks,” Tanya said. “I should’ve thought to bring my lunch with me. It’s over there with Christi. But this is one former minion who is not going anywhere near that witch, just for half a yogurt and an overripe banana.”
Grace passed Tanya the remaining half of her sandwich and a handful of grapes. Tanya smiled. “Thanks. That’s super sweet of you.”
“Here, cuz,” Alfie picked the soggy potato chips out of his sandwich and offered his cousin a bite as well, but Tanya made a face that told him not to bother. After a few seconds of quiet munching, they all began talking.
“Um, Grace,” said Alfie. “I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but that was sort of cruel. To the worm, not Christi.”
“What? The worm was dead already,” Grace explained. “When I realized it had croaked, I asked Ms. Karp what I should do. She said I should take the worm carcass out of the terrarium and dispose of it.”
Tanya giggled. “I doubt Ms. Karp wanted you to dispose of it in Christi’s lunch.”
Grace shrugged. “I think her exact words were ‘Whatever you can do to safely dispose of Ella would be very helpful.’ I don’t think she really cared where I put it.”
Alfie opened his sandwich and stared at the remaining slice of bologna. “I did read somewhere that earthworms are seventy percent protein.”
Grace sighed. “I can’t exactly see Christi thanking me for improving her diet.”
“Maybe not, but many cultures eat insects all the time. The Aborigines and the Maoris eat all sorts of grubs and crickets and stuff. And you can order grilled silk pupae at fancy Japanese restaurants.”
“Gross me out, Alfie,” Tanya scowled. “Whatever appetite I had left is now totally gone.”
Alfie plucked his slice of bologna from what was left of his sandwich, rolled it up in a skinny tube, and dangled it over his opened mouth. “Mmmm. Worms. Yummy.…” He gulped the bologna, then turned and grinned at his cousin.
“You are so disgusting.” Tanya shook her head.
Alfie shrugged and turned to Grace. “So, fearless leader, where’s our piece of the Sally Mae?”
Tanya looked back and forth between Alfie and Grace. “What are you guys talking about? Who’s Sally Mae?”
“Not who, dodo. What. The Sally Mae is—or should I say was—one of the most awesome ships in the world,” Alfie explained. “It was wrecked off the California coast in 1857, with a billion dollars worth of gold on board. Grace found a piece of it, and we’re both gonna find the rest of it soon. Our very own Operation Sally Mae, right, Grace?”
“I guess…” Grace hesitated.
Tanya rolled her eyes. “Alfie, is this from that book you’re obsessed with? That Seafaring Legends of Something Something that you keep under your pillow?”
“I am not obsessed,” Alfie grunted. “And I do not keep the book under my pillow. I keep it on my nightstand.”
“Same difference,” Tanya countered.
“Guys, please,” Grace pleaded. She turned to Tanya and whispered. “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. We are going to find the Sally Mae. Maybe.”
“No way.” Tanya shook her head.
“Way,” Grace said, seriously. She dug into her backpack and pulled out the S LLY E box.
Tanya
scrutinized the box lid. “Um, sorry, but this looks more like it says SILLY, rather than SALLY MAE.”
“Use a little common sense, Tanya,” Alfie whispered. He pointed to the spaces between the letters. “S, blank, L, L, Y, space, larger blank, E.” Alfie grinned at Grace. “I think we may really have something here. So, what’s the plan?”
Grace hunkered low against the lunch table and laid out her half-baked plan for Operation Sally Mae. When she was finished, she added, “But, Alfie, I can’t promise there’ll be any gold.”
“Whaddya mean?” Alfie asked.
“I just can’t promise, okay? Just because no one has claimed to have found it, doesn’t mean they haven’t. And they’d keep it quiet if they had taken it illegally.”
“Well, that sucks.” Alfie picked at the edge of his sandwich and rolled little brown crust balls between his thumb and forefinger.
“You in it for the gold or the adventure?” asked Tanya.
Alfie stopped playing with his food and clasped his fingers together, as if in prayer. “We owe it to society to locate the Sally Mae for historical, cultural, and educational purposes.”
I guess there really is no way out now, thought Grace. Then she remembered another snag. “And one other thing. I haven’t figured out how to get out there yet.”
Alfie grinned at Tanya. “I know how.”
Tanya shook her head. “I dunno, Alfie. When was the last time you even looked at that boat?”
Grace looked from cousin to cousin. “What boat? What are you guys talking about?”
“Remember that motorized rowboat I told you about? The one we played Pockmarked Pete and the Pirate Princesses on?”
“Yeah,” Grace replied.
The Tantalizing Tale of Grace Minnaugh Page 12