by Mary Smith
“What, your mom didn’t do it for you when you were home?” I joked.
“Um, no, I didn’t stay with my parents, and where I was staying, the washer and dryer hadn’t been delivered yet.”
I sat back from him. What did he mean by that? “Where did you stay, if not at your parents?”
“I… um… I… well…” he was looking all over the room, but at me.
“Oliver Jacob Thomas, if you don’t tell me right now, I will break your nose.” My jaw was clenched so tightly I was sure I cracked a tooth. My mind was reeling from the possibilities. I knew that he wouldn’t cheat on me. Oliver was nothing like that, but I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t stay at his parents.
“I was kind of house sitting for someone. My parents had converted my room into something else, so I couldn’t stay there unless I slept on the couch, and I wasn’t in the mood to do that.”
“House sitting?” Who would he be doing that for?
“Please, Amaya, stop questioning everything. Let’s enjoy this time together before we go back to Unit and reality.”
I looked deeply into his green eyes. He was right. Again. Soon, I would be banished and never see him again. He would go on with his life in Unit. I was sure that Mrs. Thomas had his next Matched lined up already. I was sure that he heard an earful from his parents every time he went home because he was still here with me. I wondered if he’d told them what had been happening up here.
I wouldn’t have been shocked if he had. I was positive that he was telling Xaviera everything. I bet she wasn’t thrilled with all the details. Then again, maybe he had kept some of them private.
“I’ll make us something to eat.” I tried to give him a big smile, but I didn’t have it in me. Oliver let me go and headed into the kitchen.
I moved around, cooking and preparing a salad for lunch, while he took a shower, changed, and started his laundry. I did my best not to think about Unit, Rebecca, and everything else that I had truly cared about.
There was so much that Oliver was keeping from me. It was killing me that I didn’t know. Everything was changing and I wanted to know. At least I knew that Rebecca was okay. I was very happy about that. I guess my parents were leaving her alone. I bet it was because everyone was talking about them. Maybe the Royals were putting more pressure on them, or watching them more closely.
I set the table and brought out the soup and salad for lunch. I hadn’t eaten a lot while he was gone, and I didn’t want to overdo it.
“This looks and smells delicious.” Oliver stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. He kissed my hair.
“Let’s eat.” I leaned against him.
I felt him nod, and he released me. I followed him to the table, and we had a quiet lunch. I didn’t ask any questions about Unit and he didn’t volunteer anything else.
From the corner of my eye, I saw that my journals were still there. All lined up, still staring at me. I hadn’t even noticed that I wasn’t journaling anymore, and I had forgotten about it.
How could I have forgotten?
It was something that I had done almost every day for the majority of my life.
What had changed?
I sat my fork down and continued to stare at them. The looked foreign to me, like they didn’t belong in the cabin. They weren’t a part of me anymore.
Why?
“Amaya, are you okay? You look pale.”
I turned my focus to Oliver. He seemed worried.
“A thought just sort of hit me, that’s all.”
“What was it?”
“I haven’t been writing.”
“You haven’t?”
I shook my head and pushed my plate away. I felt the anxiety pulsing through my blood.
What had changed?
Why wasn’t I writing?
I always wrote in my books. Always. There had never been an exception to it. Broken bones had not even stopped me.
I lifted my eyes from the hole I was staring through the table and looked into Oliver’s green eyes. The anxiety left me and the realization hit.
Him.
It was Oliver.
He was the difference in my life.
“Amaya?”
I continued to stare.
“Amaya?”
“Oliver, it’s nothing.” I shook my head.
“Don’t do that. Don’t push me out. You and I have come a long way.” Oliver pushed his plate away.
Do I tell him?
It wasn’t like he didn’t think I was crazy. He has spent the last seventy days with me. Crazy was my middle name.
“I’m debating if I should tell you or not.”
“You might as well tell me because you know that I’ll pry it out of you eventually,” he smiled.
“Right, again.” This time, I rolled my eyes.
“So,” he pushed on.
I took a deep breath. “I’ve changed.”
“I know you have. Is that why you’re not writing?”
“I’m not scared anymore. I have you,” I mumbled.
Oliver’s eyes widened as my confession finally hit him.
“You’re the bravest person I know.” He took my hand and kissed the back of it.
“You’re a very sweet liar.”
“Sweet is my middle name,” he winked.
I giggled and smiled at him.
“And I’m not lying.”
I ignored him and my attention went back to the books at the end of the table. There they sat. All my memories, dreams, heartache, bruises, broken bones, they all sat right there. It was like they were haunting me.
“I want to burn them,” I declared without even thinking about what I had just said.
“What?”
“Yes, I want to destroy them.”
Oliver tilted his head. He wasn’t sure if I was being serious or not. I could see it written all over his face.
“I mean it; these books are holding me down like an anchor. When I’m banished, I want to start anew.” I paused, and a single tear fell from my eye. “Even though I will miss you.”
“Will you please stop saying that you’ll be banished.”
“Oliver, you can think whatever you want; but you know that it’s still possible, no matter what you say.”
“Fine, but you’re wrong. If you want, we can burn them in the fireplace?”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat. Was I going to cry? It was a possibility because these books had been everything to me.
“Amaya, you don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t, but I know that if I keep them, all those memories will keep haunting me.” It was the truth. I had to close that chapter of my life. I needed to move on. I needed to show myself that I could be strong on my own.
Will I have the memories?
Of course, but memories fade, but not when they were on paper.
Oliver rose from his chair and took my hand. I followed his lead to the end of the table and he stepped back.
“What are you doing?”
“I think this is something that you have to do on your own. I’ll be right here, but I can’t do it for you.”
He was right. Again. That was starting to make me mad, too. Then again, it was refreshing that someone was smarter than I was. It was nice to hear what I was thinking coming from his mouth. I couldn’t say certain things aloud, because it would make them real, but there he was, saying it for me.
I picked up a stack and headed over to the fire. It wasn’t raging by any means. I had added some wood to it an hour ago so there was a still a good flame in it. I was memorized by the oranges, reds, and yellows dancing around the wood.
I felt Oliver sit next to me and take my hand.
“Whatever I say, just let me say it, and please don’t mess with my emotions.” I whispered to him as the tears began building up.
“You have my word.”
I let go of his hand and picked up the first book in the stack. I flipped through the slightly age
d pages, and saw that it was one of the first ones. There were more pictures than words.
I closed my eyes, trying my best to keep my emotions in check, and tossed it into the flames. When I opened my eyes, I saw the fire overtake the pages and quickly, it was gone, nothing but ash.
Even though there was a ping of hurt in my heart, a small piece of my soul was healed as the weight of that burden left me. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek as Oliver ran his hand up and down my back. He wasn’t calming me, but his presence there helped more than I could ever express to him.
First day of high school.
Broken bones.
Bruises.
Laughter with Xaveria and Gia.
Thaddeus.
It was all there.
One by one, I put the books into the fire, retrieved another set, and continued my process until they were all gone.
I sat close to the fire and watched the flames continue to devour all of my written memories. The tears continued and Oliver never said a word or left my side.
“Thank you,” I finally said when I was able to find my voice.
“There’s no need to thank me Amaya. You know that I’m always going to be here for you.”
“At least for the next twenty days,” I reminded him.
“Amaya,” Oliver shook his head. He did that a lot around me. I thought that I frustrated him more and more every day. “I really wish that you would stop saying that. For the next twenty days could we please just enjoy each other’s company?”
“I already say yes to that when you asked before.”
He rolled his eyes, and I laughed, pushing on his shoulder to lie on his back. I placed my hand on his cheek and softly kissed his lips.
“I do have one thing to say,” my heart was pounding hard.
“What is that?”
I took a deep breath and looked into his green eyes. “I’m happy that we’re Matched.” I said it softly, and I wasn’t sure that he had heard me.
The smile on his face let me know that he had. “I’m very happy, too.”
“It didn’t start out that way.”
“Well, no, but look at where we are now. I mean,” he shrugged. “I’m glad that we went through that rough patch.”
I rested my chin on his chest, still looking up at him.
“If you hadn’t been punished and we hadn’t been sent up here, would you have agreed to stay together after our first decision period was over?”
Oliver looked down at me, and I knew that he was picking his words carefully.
“In all honesty, I don’t know. I wanted it to work. I thought that we were a great couple, on paper, but you’re quite stubborn.”
I giggled. “I have my moments.”
“What about you? Would you have agreed?”
I rose up on my knees and shook my head. “No, because you’re too good and I wouldn’t have been able to be everything that you need. Hell, I’m not real sure that I am now, either.”
Oliver leaned up on his elbows. “What makes you think that?”
“You know why. I broke the Rules and if I kept my mouth shut no one would have known. Then again, someone might have figured it out and I didn’t want you to feel that blowback.”
He continued to stare at me. “Why did you tell? I mean, no one knew but Thaddeus and you. What made you tell the princess?”
“Guilt. Love for Xaveria. There were so many reasons why I told her that day, but most of all, I wanted the secret out.”
“Thaddeus isn’t a bad guy.” Oliver defended his Royal and friend.
“True, but he broke the Rules, like I did, and she needed to know about both of us.”
“Did you feel better after you told her?”
“Yes and no. I was glad that I told her and the truth was out in the open. However, look what happened.”
He nodded and got up off the floor. He went over to the table and began to clean up everything from lunch several hours ago.
I turned back to the fire. It had died down. It was mainly ash and a few specks of notebook that hadn’t burned yet, but all my written memories were gone, and I was okay.
I would survive being banished. I had the memories of Oliver and my time here at the cabin to get me through. It was what I would need to go on with my life.
I was sad and I knew it was because I wouldn’t be able to talk to him anymore once I was banished. I also felt a twist of my heart at the thought that he would be Matched with someone else.
All I thought was that she better treat him right.
Chapter 29
Day 75 of 90
My eyes fluttered open. The sun was bright and glaring in my face as I woke up. The last five days had been perfect. There was no way I could have imagined them any better.
I gazed up at Oliver, who was still sleeping. I was using his chest as a pillow. He and I had been sleeping in the same bed, and even though we had kissed and touched more, it hadn’t gone any further.
I studied his beautiful face. His shaggy hair had fallen on his forehead. I had the urge to run my fingers through it, like I had last night, but I left him alone.
I gently rolled out of the bed and headed to the bathroom. I quickly freshened up and softly tiptoed down the stairs.
We had stayed up last again, binge watching another season of How I Met Your Mother. I still couldn’t believe that Oliver had never seen it.
I looked at the clock, and even though it was early afternoon, I decided to make breakfast. It felt like a French toast day, and I gathered up everything to get started.
As I was finishing it all up, Oliver came down the stairs.
“That smells so good.” He kissed my cheek.
“Set the table and it’ll be ready in a second,” I smiled. Oliver nodded and went to the fridge to help out. I laid everything out for him, and I hadn’t realized how hungry I really was. The sweet smell of the syrup made my stomach grumble.
“I do need to work a little bit today, Amaya. Oscar sent me a text last night and there’s a problem I need to fix.”
I nodded. “That’s fine. I need to work out anyway. After eating all this on my plate, I’ll need to shed ten pounds.”
“Mmmm… this is so good,” Oliver moaned around his fork.
My cheeks flushed at the sound of his moan. He’d made the same one the other night. It drove me wild.
Oliver went on to tell me about two new clients that he’d signed and how much easier they were than the last client he’d worked with.
He seemed much more relaxed these past few days. Even if I was still trying to get him to tell me what was going on in Unit, he wouldn’t budge an inch.
We cleaned up everything together, and I headed off to the gym. The sounds of Oliver clicking and typing were rhythmic as I turned on the treadmill. I actually had no plans to run. Weighed down by the carbs in the French toast, I decided on a fast walk. That would at least burn off a few calories.
I stayed on the treadmill for a full hour before the carbs won and I realized that I shouldn’t have eaten that much and taken a nap instead of walking.
“Hey, I’m going to jump in the shower. Want to start season five when I get out?” I yelled at Oliver.
“That’s fine.”
The cool shower was exactly what I needed to get rid of the rest of the carb hangover. I slipped on a pair of purple yoga pants and a white T-shirt.
“Hey, I got it all ready.” Oliver handed me a bottle of water as I sat on the couch. “Are you hungry?”
“Don’t even mention food to me.”
“Same here,” he chuckled, sitting next to me. I curled up next to him as the first episode started.
I fell asleep somewhere in the middle of the season and woke up as Oliver carried me up the stairs.
“I’m too heavy for you to carry.”
Oliver smirked. “No, you’re not.” He laid me on the bed. “Rest,” he said and kissed my forehead.
When I woke up it was dark outside. I had slep
t the whole afternoon away. I felt refreshed but upset that I hadn’t spent the time with Oliver.
I felt his side of the bed, and he wasn’t there. I went downstairs and found him sitting at this computer, still clicking away.
“Sorry, I was so tired.” I sat down on the bench next to him.
“We’ve been keeping some crazy schedules these past few days. It’s not a big deal.”
I leaned on his shoulder. “Are you almost done? It sort of looks like it.”
“I’m done almost with this one.” He pointed to the left side of the screen. “I need to finish a few little things, and then I can start on the next one. However, right now, I’m ready to lay in bed with you.”
“I bet you’re tired.”
“Nope, not at all, but I would like to spend some quiet time with you.” He kissed the top of my head.
“I think I can arrange that.” I lightly pinched his side. It didn’t matter I just rolled out of bed. I wanted to be with him.
He took my hand, and we headed up to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut, and began to kiss me, walking me back toward the bed.
Oliver’s lips were soft on mine and felt almost like silk. He was so gentle and kind with each touch, it sent shivers through me.
I scooted back to the headboard as Oliver continued to kiss me. I opened my mouth for him, and it was my turn to moan. I tugged at his shirt, pulling it off of him.
Oliver had been getting braver, and he had actually slipped his hand under my shirt. He would still stop at my bra though. But I wasn’t wearing one tonight. I wanted so badly for him to touch me. He quickly pulled away from my lips when he noticed that his stop sign wasn’t there.
He looked deep into my eyes. I knew that he was asking for permission. He was such a gentleman.
“Oliver, I’m your Matched. It’s okay. It’s fine.” I tried to keep my voice smooth, but it was cracking with desire.
He nodded, but didn’t move his hand.
Okay, I needed a plan B.
I adjusted my legs, and he was cradled perfectly in between them. I could feel him and he felt good. I moved my hand from his back and lightly trailed it down his chest to the top of his jeans. He was either going to freak out or let me touch him.