by Paige North
No wonder Evie couldn’t bear the thought of having a baby without the façade of marriage. Roper can barely handle the news. The baby might not be mine biologically, but I am Liam’s father. More than that piece of shit ever was, and I’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure it stays that way.
Alana
After that dumb kid took Liam’s beanie in the park earlier today, it took 12.8 seconds for him to catch a cold. So now, I’m rocking him near the fireplace, hoping he’ll fall asleep after hours of whining from not being able to breathe.
“Alright, buddy, alright. I’ll ask your daddy to get you something to help on his way home from the party.” I could order something from the corner store now, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable opening the door to a stranger without Liam here.
“Babababaa….”
“I know, buddy.” Pulling out my phone, I compose a text, knowing I won’t get the baby medicine for another couple hours, even though something tells me Liam’s going to be up half the night anyway. I’m only a few letters in when I hear the front door opening.
Not expecting Kase for a while—it’s not even 10 PM yet, and his father-in-law lives up in the Westchester area—I stand, clutching Liam against me. We both stop breathing to listen. Footsteps stomp through the hall in a hurry, heading upstairs. What the hell? Kase would at least tell me it’s him and he’s home.
“Hello?” I call out, my stomach in my throat. If there’s an intruder, my best bet is to go outside with Liam, run off, and get to safety. I hurry into the foyer, about to grab both our coats, when I hear a familiar voice cursing and then the sound of a wall or door being punched. “Kase?”
“It’s me, Alana. Don’t come up here.”
Something is wrong—very wrong. “What is it? What happened?” I start up the steps but stop. I might think I know him well, but you don’t really know a person until you’ve seen them through thick and thin.
Liam’s blue eyes are wide and soaking in the sounds upstairs. He looks to me for answers, but I don’t have any. I hum a little song until he lays his head down on my chest. We stand there so long, waiting for Kase to make an appearance that eventually, Liam falls asleep through my pacing and singing. Slowly, I make my way over to the play room where I can put him to sleep in his play pen. I’d much prefer putting him to bed for the night upstairs in his crib, but I don’t trust Kase right now.
He goes down easily. I put Liam’s blue bunny next to him and cover him with his cozy blanket, then close the door, leaving it ajar. Time to go see what’s going on. Did something happen at the party?
At the foot of the stairs, I call up, “Kase?”
Suddenly, a flurry of heavy footsteps sounds down the upstairs hall, and he descends the stairs in a hurry. I wish I could tell him he looks handsome in the suit he’s wearing, because it does, and I was too annoyed with him earlier to tell him, but there’s something in his face. Something serious has happened.
Over his shoulder, a bag is slung. “Move, please.” He brushes past me toward the door.
“Where are you going?” I hold onto his arm instinctively.
He pauses to look at it, then yanks his arm away. “Away from here.”
“What’s wrong?”
He pauses, hangs his head, half in shame, half in despair. For a moment, I think he’s going to lose it. “I don’t know, Alana. I just…I need to get out of here.”
“Kase…” I rush over to him, hold his arms firmly, and look up at him. “Tell me what happened. We can talk about this, whatever it is. Just…don’t go.” Panic rises in my chest. If he leaves, what’ll happen? Do I stay put with Liam? Do I report his leaving to the police, tell them that my employer took off without a trace?
“I have to leave, Alana. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of for a few days—”
“What? No. Kase, please.” I tug on his jacket, but he only pushes me back and re-slings his bag over his shoulder. “Where are you going?”
“No fucking clue.”
“Please tell me what’s happening. I can help.”
“You can’t help, Alana!” he shouts. His icy glare on me is a warning. I’m pushing him. But I can’t simply let him go either. Liam needs him—I need him.
“Why are you acting like this?” I beg.
“I’m not who you think I am.”
“Who are you, a murderer? Are you wanted in fifty states? Because, if you are, I still don’t think I could undo the way I feel for you, Kase. Tell me what’s going on. Please.” Overwhelming emotion overcomes me. “I love you.”
He stares at me, long and hard. “You don’t know what love is until you’ve lost the most important person to you, Alana. You have no clue.”
“I know enough,” I fight back. “No, I haven’t lost a wife like you have, but—”
“I haven’t lost a wife, Alana!” He pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes slowly until he’s calm. He looks at me. “I was never married. I didn’t love Liam’s mother.” So, it’s as I thought…he only married her because of the baby. But then… “In fact, I’m not even Liam’s father.”
I can’t stop staring at him. “What?”
“I’m not his father. I’m nobody to him, Alana. I married my best friend to get her out of a quandary, and now my life’s fucking falling apart.”
“Why did you do that?”
“She needed me. She risked losing her inheritance, because her father’s ancient and would never go for her being a single mom. It’s the same bullshit that happened to my mother.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“Never mind, Alana!” He storms toward the door and turns the handle.
I have to speak now or risk losing him. “But you love him, Kase. You take care of him. He loves you like his father, so that’s all that matters. I don’t judge you.” In fact, this might be shocking, but it’s nothing that can’t be solved.
“That’s not all that matters,” he says, torment in his dark eyes. “Liam’s father came to the party tonight. Caused a huge scene. He plans on taking him, Alana. He plans on taking my son.” Kase cringes into his fist, and suddenly, I feel how hard this is for him. He wasn’t Evie’s husband and he’s not Liam’s father, and now it’s clear to everybody that he’s been lying.
Fuck.
“I’m nobody to Liam. I’m nobody to anyone.”
“You’re everything to me.” I pull him in, burying my face in his chest, and push the door closed. “Stay with me, please.”
“Alana…” My name comes out a whisper. Kase collapses in a heap of sobs against my body, but then he pulls himself together, drops his bag, and carries me up the stairs. “I need you so fucking badly.” No explanation necessary, but I know this won’t solve everything. Somehow, we have to keep him from losing Liam.
Kase drops me to my feet then shoves me against the wall roughly, all without reaching his bed. My arms are forced up and my shirt is pushed up over my head. Hungrily, he latches onto my tits, squeezing and sucking them hard, and my body arches into his mouth. I need more. I need him completely. I never realized how deeply I want to be his woman until tonight.
“I can help you, Kase.” I don’t know how I could possibly, but somehow, we can navigate this shitstorm together. “Make love to me, please.”
He grunts in response, pulls off the rest of my clothes, and drags me to the bed. Suddenly, I’m flat on my back and he’s between my legs, shirt yanked off, and his pants around his knees. There’s something feral in his eyes. He’s not a man tonight but something entirely new. Maybe his demons have finally possessed him and now I’m going to feel the consequences of my pursuit. He’s going to show me why I should’ve stayed away from him, like he warned me to so many times.
Kase pants, grits his teeth, and tells me to open my legs wider. I do as he says and he mutters, “Slather your ass, Alana. Take that delicious pussy juice and smear it all over your ass.”
My body tightens, though with fear or anticipation, I’m not sure. All I know is
that I’ll do anything for him, just like I told him that first day. Anything. If I have to bend over and take it up the ass for the first time to get him to stay, then that’s what I’ll do. I know that goes against everything this world has ever taught me, but this world doesn’t understand how much I love and trust this man.
This man I shouldn’t want but do.
This man I shouldn’t pursue but can’t stop.
This man I adore.
I do as he says then watch as he sheds the rest of his clothes, knees between my legs and pushes the head of his cock against my pussy. Dragging it around, he gets it wet then pushes his fingertip against my tight asshole. I’ve heard things. About pain and getting filled and feeling like it’s just too much, but I can do this.
I want this as much as he does, even if I’m a little frightened too…
Across Kase’s face is an eclipsed moon of conflict. I can tell he doesn’t want to hurt me or take advantage of me anymore, but I can also tell that I’m his only solace in this world and needs me now, more than ever. And that’s all I ever wanted—to be his woman.
“Go slow, please,” I tell him. It’s my only request.
Kase moves from my pussy to my ass and begins to push in slowly. “I can’t promise anything.” I know. Tonight he’s an alpha wolf and I’m his submissive mate. I can’t control his speed anymore than I can control his pain.
But I can ease it.
Closing my eyes, I breathe deeply to relax and feel Kase’s massive cock beginning to fill me. There are no words to describe the depth and intimacy of this act. All I know is that in less than two months I’ve gone from complete virgin to Kase’s willing cockwhore, and I wouldn’t change a fucking thing.
When he’s in all the way, and I’m feeling like I’m going to explode, he leans down and kisses me strongly, with purpose. His eyes burn into my brain. “You win, Alana. You want me? Here I am.”
He’s got a plan, and I know what it is: he wants me to regret my decision to love him, by making this difficult and rough, so I’ll never want him again. But what he doesn’t understand is that he could never push me away. As long as he’ll have me, I’ll want to be with him. Even if he’s about to hurt me.
Suddenly, he pulls back and pushes in again. I cry out loud, gripping the sheets. He’s wrong. It doesn’t hurt, it overwhelms me, pushes me higher, teaches me new things about him. New things about myself. When he sees in my eyes that I’m not about to give up, that I want it harder and stronger than he’s ever given it to me before, he becomes unhinged.
Flipping me over, he pulls me to my knees, handling me like I have no free will, when everything about this is exemplary of my free will. All of it. And sooner or later, he’s going to realize that I’m the woman for him. Looking back, I see Kase preparing to push in again, only this time, he lets a long line of saliva fall from his mouth onto my ass. Swirling his cock around the fluids again, he pushes into my ass.
I moan and arch back into him. “More…harder,” I tell him.
“You’re a fucking masochist for pain, aren’t you, Alana? If you were smart, you’d leave me, find yourself a nice man who can love you the way you deserve.”
“I don’t want a nice man. I want the man I love.” Talking over my shoulder as he reams me in the ass is rebellious as fuck. No matter what he does to me, he won’t break me, won’t wear me down. With every push, I’ll push back. With every slam, I’ll slam back.
Before I know it, he’s full force fucking me, hoisting his foot onto the bed for leverage, balls slapping against my pussy. There’s pain, but it’s sweet pain, good pain, the pain of breaking down barriers and creating new pathways.
Another way for us to become one.
I will never not want this.
Kase
Alana’s still here.
She should’ve quit that day, should’ve ignored me and stuck to her job. Instead, she blocks the door to keep me from leaving, doesn’t judge me, and shares her entire body with me. That’s trust. She accepts me as I am. What I ever did to deserve this fearless, persistent, gorgeous woman, I’ll never know.
But here I am, pounding her in her virgin ass.
So beautiful. And fucking hot. And she’s mine—all mine. I could be a dick and take her for my own. She said it herself—she’d do anything for me, though I don’t know why. I don’t deserve her, and she deserves another man.
But the thought of another man doing what I’m doing now burns my balls. No fucking way can I let someone else get this view, have this woman.
My hands grip her cheeks, hold her still as I fuck her, and it’s a minute before I realize she’s touching herself throughout all this.
“You like this, Alana?”
“I love it. Come for me, Kase. Come inside my pink little asshole.”
Holy fuck, this girl knows what to say every time. The moment I hear it is the moment that electric wave rises up through my balls and shoots out and up, radiating all throughout me. “You’re getting it,” I tell her through a tight groan. “You’re getting your wish.”
“Yes, Kase. Come inside me. Make me yours.”
“You are, Alana. You’ll always be.”
Even if I can’t be with her. I can’t tell her this, because she’ll never understand what I’m about to do. Once my body is spent and I literally cannot move another muscle, I throw myself in bed, lie back, and pull her on top of me so she’s sitting on my face. Everything blends together, scents are musky, but I don’t care. It’s the most intimate way I’ll ever see her.
As she holds onto the headboard, her clit pressed up against my tongue, I lick her, fingering her in the pussy until I begin to feel those muscles squeezing together. She’s perfect, beautiful to me, and incredibly sexy, the way she grinds herself on my face, using it to reach her angles and sensitive spots. Finally, she finds one that she likes and begins rocking back and forth, as I keep fucking her over and over with my finger.
“Keep doing that…”
My hand reaches up to cup her breast, giving it a little slap and pinching her nipple for good measure. Suddenly, her knees form a vice around my head and squeeze, as she cries out loud and climaxes hard and long, more of her essence coating my tongue and face. I love this woman. Will always.
But I can’t tell her. Can’t bring her hopes up. I’m out of words to describe how love just isn’t meant for me. Hopefully, she’ll forgive me in time. And once we’ve kissed our long, deep post-coital kisses and rubbed each other’s backs, once we’ve gazed into each other’s eyes, and once she’s fallen asleep, I pick up my bag, rifle through my night stand drawer for Evie’s phone, and go anyway.
Because life is Murphy’s Law. I know, the moment I give into Alana, accept her love, and start the path of partnership, that’ll be the moment something tragic will happen. An accident or disease will claim her, and I’ll have to go through that vicious cycle of excruciating emotional pain all over again. There’s only so much one man can take.
And I’ve met my quota for one lifetime.
Late at night, I walk into a random hotel on the Upper West Side. No clue the name, no clue the time. All I know is the price is right, and I need a place to be alone. At some point, Alana will wake up and find me gone. She’ll curse my name and call me a coward, and maybe I am, though I prefer to think of it as loving her. By cutting myself off from her, by helping her think of me as an asshole.
This way, she’ll never have to deal with the crap that is my life.
Sitting at the hotel desk, I send off a series of emails to all my secretaries and assistants. I won’t be in for a few days. I need to regroup, figure out what to do with my life. There are plenty of messages awaiting me from people at Roper’s happy hour who witnessed the spectacle that was his drunken proclamation of paternity.
What made that asshole think he could just show up there and make an announcement like that? Was that supposed to put Roper on his side just to make him hand over the business? Raymond was never there for Evie’s c
ompany, never put in the work, never kept his life straight enough to warrant high praise from the big boss. In the end, he must’ve known he wasn’t good enough for Evie or Liam because he left. Not so different from you, huh, boss? My conscience tells me. Shut up. I face my responsibilities. Just because I need to withdraw for a few days doesn’t mean I don’t.
Once I’m settled in, I whoosh out a heavy breath then take Evie’s phone and stare at it, as it charges. Once the phone logo comes up, I enter her password, which she easily gave me in case of an emergency during her pregnancy, and start looking through her messages. I have to find out if Ray was telling the truth and Evie left him. If it’s true, it’s a game-changer. It’d mean that I was stupid enough to fall for it. It’d mean I married her under the impression that I was helping her out of a jam when really, I participated in deception. But worst of all, it’d mean that I’m not the rightful father to the baby.
I find the text messages between Evie and Ray from early on in the pregnancy, and it’s clear they engaged in many a text war. Nervously, I read each and every one, from the early ones where they were a happy couple. There’s even one where Evie says I don’t trust Ray. Damn straight I don’t trust him. That was my first impression of him, and I told her so.
In another text, she tells him the exciting news that she’s pregnant and sends him a photo of the pregnancy stick test. It took him a while to respond to it but eventually, he replied with a heart emoji.
That’s it? That’s all you say when your woman tells you she’s pregnant? What a fucking loser.
After that, the texts get progressively more depressing, and eventually, it’s clear that Ray has left the building. By the end of the first trimester, he wasn’t responding to any more of her messages, and then began all of Evie’s texts to me and her friends telling us what a disappointment Ray was turning out to be. In her inbox, I find an email thread with one of Ray’s friends, trying to talk some sense into him and coax him out of hiding.