by Paige North
Melissa and Silvio enter the room.
“There he is,” Silvio says, his thick black glasses polished to a grand-piano shine. “Don’t you look dapper.”
“Did you buy this on Main Street?” Melissa teases, running the fabric of my custom-made Italian suit between her fingers.
“Saw it on the mannequin in the display window and I just had to have it,” I say, going along with the joke. “Have you heard from the others?”
“Yeah, they’re on their way in. Should be here in just a few,” Melissa says.
“Perfect,” I say.
“Everything looks great, Cole,” Melissa says, looking around the space. The staff are bringing in trays of light food and pitches of iced tea and water, and mini bottles of soda.
“We can expect a few bits of critical feedback,” Silvio says. “That’s normal. Usually, after the piece is shown, we’ll get a lot of positive feedback. But once one person says something vaguely negative, others will feel the need to pile on.”
“It’s true,” Melissa says. “But it’s usually either minor stuff that can be easily changed, or minor stuff that we think is good the way it is. For a piece like this, I can’t imagine there being much negative criticism.”
“All in all,” Silvio says, “I think this is going to be a really good showing.”
I feel really good about this. I think this is going to be a really cool, moving piece that will show what Peak Expeditions is all about.
Where I came from and what we stand for.
It’s going to be great for business. And I need something positive after the last few days and all of the stress and misery.
The others slowly arrive and I greet them. I shake hands, make small talk, let everyone get settled in seats. And then she walks in.
I’d been keeping one eye out, looking for her at every person who walked into the room. When she finally arrives, it’s like I can breathe again.
“Jessa,” I say. I take her hands and kiss her cheek. I’d rather give her a real kiss but since this is technically a business function, I somehow restrain myself.
I’ve been feeling better since the last time I saw her. That night in the hotel bar, after seeing the lawyer, I was definitely in a funk. Nothing could have made me feel better, but I still have some guilt over the way I behaved.
I was a dick and she doesn’t deserve that.
Jessa doesn’t deserve anything but love, and safety and warmth.
“You look beautiful,” I whisper in her ear. She’s wearing a full skirt that really shows off her legs, and a fitted top that really shows off her cleavage—but in a respectful way.
In a way that also makes me want to pull that blouse down and see more.
“Thanks,” she says, smiling at me. “You look handsome.” She runs her hand over the arm of my suit. “Fancy. Do you even own a suit that doesn’t feel like absolute heaven and fit you perfectly?”
“Of course not,” I say. “What would be the point?”
Melissa makes the announcement that it’s time to get started, and everyone begins to take their seats. I have save an empty seat for myself next to Jessa as I say a few words before the film begins.
“I don’t want to say too much,” I begin to the room, “so as to not spoil your unbiased opinion. But I will say that I do value your honest opinion—otherwise we wouldn’t have invited you. Peak Expeditions is a premier outdoor clothing and gear company with roots right here in this little town. They’re my roots. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show.”
My heart is beating with excitement as I sit next to Jessa. She reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze, and I hold her tiny hand tight in mine.
Watching it all over again, I can’t believe how slick and polished it is. We nailed this. Fucking nailed it.
When the short film ends, the room erupts in applause. I feel amazing—I knew they’d like it, but I suppose to need to slow down until we hear the comments. Melissa and Silvio have done this enough to know what they’re talking about.
Melissa, Silvio and I move to the front of the room to listen to the feedback. I'm so ready for it—anything to make it better I’m willing to listen to but it feels pretty good to hear the initial positive reaction.
“The cinematography is gorgeous,” one person says. “It makes the land look far more stunning than it really is.”
“The shot of you carrying that baby cow,” begins another.
“It’s called a calf,” I tease her. It’s funny that they don’t even know.
“Calf, whatever,” she says. “That was amazing. People are going to eat up that image, Cole. It’s rugged but caring. It’s perfect for the brand.”
“I teared up at that scene,” says someone else. “I’m not ashamed to admit it!”
We all laugh at that. I knew that those shots, as corny as I felt doing them, would be a homerun.
Melissa takes notes throughout the discussion.
When it’s all done, I feel amazing. We all have a glass of champagne (or two) and talk about when the film will be finalized and released.
“We’ll work out the details in the next couple of days,” Melissa says. “Enjoy the rest of the evening. You deserve it.”
“Thanks for all your hard work,” I tell Melissa. “You too, Silvio. You two are the best out there.”
Finally, Jessa and I are alone and back in the room. She’s standing near the corner, her glass of champagne in her hand only half finished.
“So,” I say, going to her, my heart feeling lighter than it has in days. “Amazing, right? I knew there would be some negative feedback and I was braced and prepared for the worst, but I didn’t think it’d go that well. The changes we have to make are so minor. This is going to be released in no time. Isn’t that great?”
“Yeah. I’m happy for you, Cole,” she says.
I realize that she’s forcing the enthusiasm. My heart drops, and my blood pressure spikes.
“What is it? There’s something you’re not saying,” I tell her. I look in her eyes, read her expression.
I fucking know she’s bothered by something. But what exactly?
“No, it’s nothing,” she says, but her voice is tight. She’s holding back.
“Seriously, Jessa. The whole point of this evening was to give me feedback.”
“I’m just like another employee, here to tell you what you want to hear?”
“The exact opposite, actually,” I say, and it really pisses me off that she would say that. It’s not how I treat her, that’s for sure. She stands stiff, her fist wrapped around the stem of the champagne glass like she might snap it.
“Cole, I don’t want to be a naysayer. Everyone loves it, that’s all that matters.”
“Let’s hear it, Jessa,” I reply. My stomach and chest tighten with frustration that there is always something wrong lately. “I want to know what you think.”
“Fine,” she says. “Then I’ll tell you.”
I cross my arms and wait.
“This,” she says, holding her champagne hand out toward the screen, “is not a documentary. A documentary is a true story and what you showed me tonight is not the truth.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, flabbergasted. “That’s my story. Those are my beginnings. It’s who I am.”
“Suddenly Morningside Valley is who you are?” she says. “Ever since you came back you’ve been quick to tell me how crappy this town is but now you want to claim it as your roots? You can’t have it both ways, Cole.”
“I’m not trying to,” I say. “And maybe we downplayed how I really feel about the town, but that was just to protect the people here.”
“Please, it’s the opposite. You’re using the town’s goodness as a way to sell yourself and it’s an insult to every hardworking person who lives here. You said in that movie that you come back to Morningside Valley every chance you get. So the past three years you didn’t have a single chance to come home?”
“I’ve been busy building
a company, Jessa. You know that,” I say. How can she use my hard work against me?
“You said in that thing that you loved Rusty’s burgers. But we both know you were bashing them as being second-rate and inferior not long ago.” She says all of this as if I said I hate kittens and rainbows.
“You don’t think Rusty will love some free publicity?”
“Jimmy runs it now—I told you that!” she says, as if that proves everything. “Cole, people are going to see right through this thing. Your real consumers, the people who actually love camping and hiking and skiing, will see what a poser you’re being. Your actual customers love getting dirty. They love being outside in nature and exploring. Your hands don’t ever get dirty anymore, despite what you said in that video.”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” I tell her, feeling angry that she’s being so hateful about this.
“I’m not saying all this to be mean,” Jessa says, taking a step closer to me. “You asked for my opinion and now I’m giving it to you. Scrape this whole polished image of yourself and film something real. Show something authentic.”
“Please,” I say. “I’ve got a billion-dollar business. I think I know a thing or two about image and branding. I know how to sell to people, Jessa.”
“You don’t think they want the truth?”
“What truth?” I say. “That I don’t really eat at Rusty’s?”
“You talked about your ties to this town,” she says, “but you never once mentioned your family.”
“Of course I mentioned my father,” I say. “It was his farm.”
I see at once the tears well up in her eyes, and I’m gutted, because I know. I know what I’ve just done.
“I mean this family,” she says, laying her hands on her chest. “Me. Lucy. We don’t even exist in your PR world.”
“I—I didn’t think you’d want to be a part of it,” I say, rather lamely. The truth is, when this whole film thing began I didn’t know about Lucy, and once the wheels started rolling on it I thought it best to leave Lucy, and my romance with Jessa, out of it. Maybe my customers prefer a rugged single man.
But it’s not really how I feel. Jessa doesn’t know half the things I’ve done for her. And it’s starting to piss me off.
Jessa
“Don’t question my love for you and Lucy,” Cole says, and it comes out angry, like a threat.
Love? I think. When did that come into the picture?
I have to protect myself, and my daughter. Now he tosses the word out like it’s nothing, and maybe to him it is.
But he’s never really said he loves me, never really made me feel safe. I’m constantly wondering when he’ll take off again.
After this disgusting fake documentary, I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust Cole Frost.
“Cole, I can only go by your actions,” I say. “Lately you’ve been more cold than hot. I know you’ve been through so much with your father and the stress of the lawyers and the farm—I get that, I really do. But it’s more than that. You speak of love but how am I to know how you really feel—about me. I know you care for Lucy. I know you love her. But where am I in all this?”
Cole rakes his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated. But I am too. I deserve to know what is happening here.
Cole storms over to the laptop, unplugs it and brings it back to me. He pulls up something, and turns the computer to show me.
“This is where you are,” he says, pointing to the screen. “You and Lucy, with me—here.”
I look at the image. It’s a home—a big home. It’s spacious, clean, everything new and top-of-the-line. Fully furnished with a decent backyard complete with jungle gym and pool.
“Cole, what is…”
“It’s our home,” he says. “I’ve taken care of everything. You won’t have to worry about a thing. It’s eight thousand square feet, fully decorated, top-notch appliances, countertops, floors, bedding, you name it. It’s a palace for you and Lucy. We’ll enroll Lucy in private school—you have to think about her future. Miss Culbert will understand, I’m sure,” he says, trying to smile and sound enthused despite the conflict we’re having. “Lucy will make excellent friends here. I know you didn’t care for the city life, but this is right outside the city, in the suburbs so we can have the best of both worlds.”
“The best of what worlds?” I ask. I’m rattled. What is happening? He’s been setting up a home for us this entire time?
“The city and the country,” he says. “You're a country girl, I’m a city boy. Jessa, that’s why God invented the suburbs! You don’t have to live in a high rise, but you can still have your green space and quiet streets for Lucy to ride her bike and play with the other kids. And I checked, there are other kids Lucy’s age right in this neighborhood. She can grow up with them, be best friends. Have a life.”
“Cole, this is all…this is a lot to take in,” I say. I’m trying to wrap my brain around all this, but it’s feeling like it’s too much too fast. And I wasn’t included in any of it.
“Is it, though?” he says. “I asked you to come with me last time and you said no. This time we have a family, and we also have a home. Jessa, there’s no reason for you to say no to me this time.”
“Cole…I can’t just pick up and move,” I say. “My sister and my parents are here. I don’t know if I can move away from them.”
“What about me? Aren’t I important enough? You just said that you and Lucy were my family.”
“I-I know,” I stammer. “You are. And I want us to be a family. I just…”
“Just what?” he says. The look in his eyes is not hurt, or love or concern. It’s anger. He’s mad at me.
This is not how I imagined things going. Of course I’ve imagined a life in which Cole and I lived together as a family, raising Lucy. Happily ever after. But this anger in him is something different and I don’t know where it’s coming from.
“I’m just being honest, okay, Cole?” I say. “I don’t know if I can leave Morningside Valley. It’s my—”
“Home, yeah, I got it,” he says. “Heard it before. So where does that leave me? I can’t run my business from this little town. It’s ridiculous. You think I can have clients and designers and potential partners out here for a serious meeting?”
“Why not?” I say, angry at what he’s suggesting.
“Look around! There’s nothing here!”
I sigh, letting out all my tension because he still doesn’t get it. “I’m here. Lucy’s here.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not staying here. Do the right thing, Jessa. For our family. Move with me to this beautiful house I’ve set up for you.”
“I never asked for that,” I say.
He folds his arms again. Looks down at me. “I get it now. It’s me. This whole time it’s been me. I’m the thing that’s not worth leaving for.”
“Cole, that’s not at all what I’m saying.” My voice is shaking, and tears are forming in my eyes. How did this spin out like this? When I got dressed in this skirt and blouse I pictured the day and evening going so much differently. I hoped to go up to his room, make love, feel happy and safe. Now Cole is saying I don’t want him?
“Like you said, I can only go by your actions,” he says, throwing my own words back at me. “Just know that I’ll always be in Lucy’s life. But I’m not going to beg you to go away with me anymore. You already shot me down three years ago, I think I’ve gotten the message this time.”
“Cole, what are you saying?” I ask. Tears are now flowing down my cheeks.
He slaps the laptop shut and gathers up his phone and keys from the side table.
“You’ve said it all, Jessa,” he says. “I’ll text about when to next see Lucy. Or I’ll have someone contact you.”
With that he leaves the room. I’m completely stunned. Have someone contact me? He can’t even bear to send me a text about our daughter?
I drive home in a complete
haze. When I get there, Lucy is already in bed and I try to fill Avery in on everything, starting with that ridiculous documentary.
“Please, that thing,” she snarks. “I saw him buying beer at the A&P, cameras in tow, and I thought, you probably have all your food shipped in from France or something. No way would he eat our lowly food.”
“Avery, can you just…listen? Can I tell you what happened without you making a bad remark about Cole?”
She snorts. “That’ll take great strength.”
I look at her—my own sister, who I ran races with in the fields, borrowed dresses from and talked about our futures over bowls of popcorn and steaming mugs of cocoa. I take her hand and say, “I need you right now. And Cole is Lucy’s father. Whether he and I are together are not, that is a fact that will never change. So enough with the smack talking.”
She squeezes my hand back. “You’re right. I’m sorry, sis. I just don’t want to see you hurt again, that’s all.”
“Well, here I am. Hurt. Now help me sort through the pieces.”
So I tell it all to her, everything. She tells me it wasn’t cool of him to offer some ultimatum. “It’s too controlling,” she says. “Like, why won’t he budge on this?”
“Why won’t I?” I counter. “I’m the one who refuses to move.”
“Because you have family here,” she says.
“But isn’t my family with him more important?” I ask.
Avery slowly shakes her head. “Honestly? I have no idea.”
By the next day, word has spread through town that Peak Expedition, the film crew, and even Cole himself have all left town.
He didn’t say goodbye. T
hat feels like a final blow. He can’t even face me.
I wonder if I deserve it.
Cole
I throw myself back into my work. I go back to my penthouse, return to my offices, where everything is familiar and of my own creation. I built this entire company from a pair of boots. This is what I’m good at. This is where I succeed.