by Eric Ugland
Anyway, we went home.
Chapter Fifty-One
While we'd been gone, some wheeling and dealing had happened between my various tenants, and a bit of a shake-up transpired. Lothar and Sven had moved into building three, taking one of the second floor apartments there. Lothar would serve as security for building three. Nadya was taking my workout room as her laboratory. Apparently the mimic had grown enough that it wouldn't fit through the door at the present time, and Nadya wasn't sure how she was going to go about training the thing to shrink sufficiently to move through the door in any rational timeline. So, that meant we had demo’d an apartment for no real reason. Which was annoying on many fronts, not the least of which being that we had to pay someone to put it back to being an apartment. I suppose there was the door between buildings, that was a useful element to have. A quick means of egress. Still, while they told me about the planned changes, I couldn’t help but wonder why they couldn’t have had this conversation, say, yesterday…
Shae was going to move into Nadya's lab apartment with Klara, while Mornax and Nox would move into the second floor apartment directly above the Heavy Purse. I still didn't have my workout spot back, but I was now the only one living in my apartment. At least, that was the theory.
All this was relayed to me in rapid-fire fashion by a very excited Shae, who was waiting on the stairs to welcome her new roommate. I don't think it will come as a surprise that Shae was significantly more thrilled with the new living situation than Klara, who shot me a look over her shoulder as Shae dragged her up the stairs.
I just shrugged and smiled. I went up my stairs, and stopped at the first apartment.
The door wasn't locked, so I gave a polite knock. After a second, it swung inward, and I looked up to see Mornax looking down at me.
"Clyde Hatchett," he said in his resounding baritone voice, "how may I serve you?"
"Uh, just looking for, uh, Nox, if he's around."
"I am here, Ma— Clyde Hatchett," Nox said.
"We have got to work on talking to each other," I said. “This is getting ridiculous."
I pulled the grimoires out, and tossed them on the lone table in the room.
"Can you read these?" I asked. “The language inside, I mean. I know you can read. You can read whatever you like. You can read these books if you like."
He ignored my bumbling and thumbed through one of them. I looked around the place. They had not gotten much set up. I'm not sure how much Lothar had done, but at that point, there were two chairs and a table that had clearly been 'borrowed' from the Heavy Purse, as well as a stool. There were also two beds sitting about as far apart as they could possibly be in the open studio-style apartment.
"I recognize the language," Nox said, "but I have yet to learn it."
"Can you read a few words out loud?" I asked.
"I don't know any of it."
"Sure, but can you sound it out? Do you know a language like it?"
"By my guess, it's a dialect of Silvestry, but some of the letters are stylized like you'd find with the Bussalf. I can try, but—“
"Just a few words. Humor me. See if, you know, maybe you can just sound out, like, five words."
He gave Mornax a bit of a look, but the big bull just shrugged. Nox sat down at the table and pored over the book. After a minute, he looked up at me.
"This is a bit ridiculous," he said. "But here we go."
The language sounded nice. Pleasant, a bit like the rustling of leaves and branches hitting each other. And then, those magical words:
Smashing! You’ve learned a new language, Lower Norfang.
"Holy balls, it worked," I said. I grabbed the book from Nox, and the words all made sense. I knew the language. This was maybe the best cheat code in the world.
"You can read this?" Nox demanded. "Did you make me sound it out just to have me be a fool for your entertainment?"
"No,” I said, "not at all. Nothing like that. I have a skill. Or, I mean, a boon where I can learn a language if I hear a few words of it. I didn't know if it would trigger just hearing a language read out loud. Or if the person speaking needed to actually understand what he was saying. You know, it was an experiment, and it worked. I know Lower Norfang now, even though you were just trying to make the sounds."
"That is an amazingly powerful boon," Nox said quietly.
"I know."
"You could be the most important asset to historical studies in, well, ever."
"I mean, let's not go that far."
"It has far reaching implications, my lord, beyond which you or I are comprehending right now. Languages that are dead or beyond our comprehension, they could be read by you, and who knows what secrets they might unlock—“
"Let's calm down, and take a step back."
He took a step back.
"No, I was wrong, take a step forward."
Confused, he took a step forward.
"Now take a step back. And take a step forward, and we're doing the cha-cha!'
"That's stupid," Nox said.
"But it got you to calm down, didn't it?"
"I suppose."
"Okay, well, these books are illegal, so we're going to need to hide them somewhere."
Nox picked up the other book and flipped through the pages.
"This one I can read," he said. "Would you like me to read it for you?"
'You can do that?”
“Of course. I will read it and see if it contains information that interests you."
"Sure. You keep that one down here, I'll take the other one upstairs."
"Do you have orders for me?" Mornax asked.
"Guard duty, my friend."
He nodded, then stopped. "Do you have someone to guard you this evening?"
"I'm fine," I said. "I think this thing is at the palace. I’ll be safe there."
He seemed mollified by that.
I went upstairs, put the grimoire in the bathroom, and my other things in the other room. I took a read of the grimoire, then a shower, then I did a little primping before getting in my suit. Trussed up and looking pretty, I still needed to find spots for my every day carry. I only had room for a few things.
First was a dagger. It had been a while since I'd taken the Tooth out with me, so I used some leather strapping to make a sort of back sheath for it. Reach up under my jacket, pull on a tie, and I had the tooth. It was going to be my only weapon, since taking along the magic sword seemed, well, gauche. Like I was going and expecting trouble at the ball. Which, to be fair, I was, but I didn't want it to look like I was expecting trouble. That was kind of the key: the appearance of being chill with the ability to throw down at a moment's notice.
For good measure, I wadded up the Bag of Stasis and got it on my side. It seemed more like an oversized money pouch than anything else. So I unwadded it, and I put a cloak inside. A big dark leather cloak that would give me plenty of bonuses to stealth. Then, wadding up the bag, I got it onto my person once more where it looked mostly normal. A check in the mirror, a touch up of the hair, the realization that I was just stalling because this seemed an awful lot like a date and I hadn't been on a date since that time I took Carolyn Zahn to a burger place on the East Side over by the Met. She thought it was a great friends night, and I didn't correct her.
Someone knocked on my door.
I stalked over, knowing it was probably Mornax or Nox coming to ask what else I wanted them to do. In some ways I appreciated Klara's more restrained approach. I swung open the door, ready to be annoyed.
Instead, it was Nadya.
She smiled.
She looked incredible, wearing a fantastic ballgown in a deep imperial blue. Her hair was up, her neck was covered in jewels, and she appeared every inch royalty.
And then there was me, with a bag on my side. I mean, it was commonplace for people to have bags or pouches because pockets weren't that big of a thing yet. And you had to carry around gold, which was both heavy and sizable. But still, she put me to sham
e.
"You look lovely," I said, and I didn't stammer at all. I silently thanked past me for putting as many points into charisma as I did.
"Thank you," she said with a slight bow of her head. "There's a carriage waiting for us. I didn't think it would do to show up sweaty from walking."
"So it is at the palace," I said.
She gave a demure little smile, like I'd figured out a secret, and she nodded.
"Ready?" she asked.
As I felt my nerves begin to act up, my stomach preparing to launch itself into an Olympic routine of internal gymnastics. I reminded myself that I had quite literally died. More than once. There was no way the evening could be worse than that.
Chapter Fifty-Two
The carriage was waiting for us behind the bakery, which meant, for this particular trip, we went up onto the roof of building one, across into building two and through Klara and Shae's apartment before going downstairs to the second floor, where we took the back door to the rear portion that was the carriage house and 'yard' of the building. A beautiful glossy black coach waited for us, with big black horses stamping, ready and eager to pull. The driver looked over at us, and bowed slightly to Nadya. There were three other people there, all wearing armor, all with large swords at their side, and all bearing the Imperial seal.
One of the guards opened the door to the coach and set a small stool out so that we wouldn’t need to climb in. Nadya went first, and the stool was disappeared. Apparently I did need to climb in after all. I looked over at the guard with a "really" expression on my face. He grinned back. I winked at him, and hauled my fancy butt up into the carriage.
"So, how's the pit?" I asked.
"Gross," she replied.
"Any good monsters?"
"None. It's truly just a clean-up. Everything there is long dead, but," she paused for a second, then just smiled.
“But what?"
"It's just very different now. Matthew is serious all the time, thinking about, well, probably politics. Godfrey is moping about his brother and the Thingmen. So it's just me, trying to bring a little levity to the group. It turns out they are not fond of mud fights."
"Is anyone?"
"I thought it was funny. But what have you been doing? I feel like I've lost track of you lately."
I looked at her, trying to gauge what my answer should be, where I should place the boundaries of the truth to tell her. "It's been strange," I said. "I'm almost sad I'm not in the pit day after day. Hopefully soon."
"Bah, soon you'll be running this guild of yours."
"I don't think there'll be that much to do."
"Fanciful last words."
"Right? I should knock on wood or something."
"Plenty of it around," she said, gesturing to the coach around us. Though, to be fair, most of the interior was lined in leather.
She looked out the coach window at the passing city, and I followed her gaze. People were hurrying home. It was that magical time between day and night, a gorgeous twilight settling across the cobblestone streets. It would have been a completely spellbinding moment, had our horses not been as flatulent as they were.
I tried to pretend I couldn’t smell it. Just seemed the polite thing to do. But then Nadya started laughing, and I couldn't resist. She had a lovely, infectious laugh, and soon we were both wiping tears from our eyes.
The Palace loomed up ahead. It was good for that, looming. But we didn't approach the building head-on. Instead, we made a westward turn and headed along a side street. We passed a group of carriages and coaches making their slow way through a gate and up toward a large, brightly lit building on the palace grounds.
"The ball's there?" I asked, almost leaning out of the coach.
"It is," Nadya replied.
"That's a huge building."
"The palace of the Blackburn. One of eight palaces on the grounds of the Imperial Palace. I suppose, if you count the Imperial Palace, there are nine. But most people don't."
"Is that the biggest of the eight? You know, not counting the Imperial Palace?"
"No. Second, um, third smallest. But other than the Imperial Palace, it's the closest to the walls, so it's the one that gets used for events."
"And it's where you live?" I asked, joking.
She looked at me, then nodded.
"Wait—“
"I haven't always been fully truthful with you," she said. "It's just, I didn't want you to think I was some stuck-up princess who lived in a palace and gets waited on hand and foot."
"Okay, but you are a princess who lives in a palace and gets waited on hand and foot."
"But I'm not stuck up."
"You aren't. That's kind of the important thing."
"I'd like to think so."
We bypassed the line of coaches, and, instead, went to a gate further along, where we were whisked through without having to stop. Then we went up a long and smooth road lined with beautiful trees, and finally stopped at the narrow western end of the Palace of the Blackburn. Several footmen and footwomen (footpeople? Sounds weird) were there to help the two of us out of the coach. Nadya knew all of them by name and greeted them quickly.
"You are late, Lady Glaton," a stern looking woman in all black said.
"I'm not late—“
"Your parents are waiting for you in the Exalted Room."
"Yes, ma'am," she said, then turned to me. "Family stuff."
"Do I—“
"You come with me," she said, a slight smile on her face. “It’s part of the quest, remember?"
The old lady in black rolled her eyes, but then turned and marched into the house, expecting us to follow right behind.
I have a decent memory for directions. Usually one or two trips to a place is enough for it to get stuck in the ol' noggin. But the Blackburn Palace, or Palace of the Blackburn if you're being formal, was a maze inside. Especially because we were taking the servant’s hallways through the place. And everywhere we went, there were servants who dutifully stopped what they were doing and stood out of the way so we'd have easy passage. It made me feel weird, I hadn't expected that sort of response. In both this life and the last, I'd always been the person to get out of the way, or, the person who got shoved. So being the more important person was disconcerting. Although it was mainly Nadya the servants moved away from. Or maybe it was the lady in black. She was fierce.
After about five minutes, or more, of marching through the halls, we got to a door and the lady in black stopped, and turned around. She looked over Nadya, and did a little adjusting of the dress, pulling the neckline a bit up. Then she tucked a curl of hair back in place, and generally tutting over her.
Of course, as soon as the old lady looked away, Nadya undid the various adjustments, and stuck out her tongue at the lady.
I smiled. The old lady in black frowned.
"Not much I can do for him," she said, and stomped off.
Nadya grabbed my hand, then pushed open the door. And we walked into high society.
Chapter Fifty-Three
More or less. It wasn't quite a ball room, but it was certainly more than just a regular room. There were about twenty people inside, a few waiters serving drinks and small bites, and lots of chatting. Everyone was dolled up to the nines, and everyone stopped to look when Nadya and I walked into the room.
Nadya didn't seem to notice. She spotted who she wanted to speak to and dragged me over that way. I, on the other hand, was hoping that elves had evolved not to blush, because I felt like my face was on fire as forty eyes dug into my very soul. Sure, there's a touch of hyperbole there, but I really felt massively out of place.
She stopped at a group of four people, two men and two women. All older than us.
"Mother, Father," Nadya said, "This is Clyde Hatchett."
Great. The Parents. Already.
I smiled immediately, almost involuntarily.
"It is an absolute pleasure to meet you," I said, wishing I had some potion of unshame.
; Her mother and father were actually not what I was expecting. I'd thought of them, initially, as distant relatives to the throne who, perhaps, had a run-down manor house in one of the older parts of town. Then, I thought they'd be stuck up Rich people. With a capital R. But these were both warm and open people who seemed genuinely happy to meet me.
"Ah right," Nadya's father said, "the young man who saved you in that horrible pit fiasco."
"Did you mention he's an elf, Nadya?" her mother asked. "I don't think we have any of the traditional fare—“
"No need," I said.
"Thank goodness. I would hate to have forgotten--"
"Mother," Nadya said firmly.
"Yes, well, it is lovely to meet you."
"Nice to meet you as well, your, uh, highness?"
"I suppose that is our honorific at the moment, is it not, Dalton?"
"I am a prince, and you are a prince's consort, my dear," her dad said.
"It's all so confusing."
"Nina, playing dumb does not suit you."
She coyly slapped his hand.
"Mother, Father," Nadya said, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from them, "I'm sure we'll see you more this evening."
"You owe me at least one dance," her father, Dalton, said.
"I'm listening to lectures and looking at monsters tonight, Father," Nadya called over her shoulder. "We can have a dance another time.”
She took me over to the bar, and she ordered wine for us both. It came back in crystal glasses, and was a bubbling red, but it tasted fine. A bit piquant for a slob like me, but, well, I wasn't exactly a drinker.
Then we were back in the mix, meeting the whole family. It was a blur as I met Glaton after Glaton. And while I knew they were family, I was a bit surprised at the diversity of appearance. Sure, all of them human, but other than that, they ran the gamut. Finally, the rounds had been made, and Nadya and I were left alone at the side of the room.