by Stacy Adams
“Yeah, man? Why you ringing my phone off the hook?”
Stevens laughed. “What you gonna do about it? I forgot to ask you to let me pray with you, this last night at home before our trip, especially since Rachelle isn’t there.”
If she had been home, she still wouldn’t have thought to pray with him. Stevens knew that, but he was ever the gentleman. Gabe sighed.
Stevens grew serious. “I know you aren’t into this Christianity thing, Gabe, but it’s a huge part of why we do what we do in the mission field. Let me pray with you, and for you, tonight. It can seriously impact how well our mission trip goes and whether we’re able to help a significant number of people.”
Gabe sucked his teeth and reclined on the chaise. He kept his eyes open and stared at the ceiling. “Go ahead.”
Stevens asked God to protect them during their travels, to allow the medical supplies they had shipped a few weeks earlier to arrive on time, and for the hearts, minds, and souls of everyone they encountered to be open to the transforming power of Jesus. Then, he specifically prayed for his friend.
“Father, bless brother Gabe for agreeing to go on this trip to a foreign land to meet others’ medical needs. Thank you in advance for guiding him when he renders a diagnosis and performs surgeries. Give him wisdom as he leads and loves his family with the same love that you show him.”
Gabe winced. Is that the problem? I’m a great doctor but I don’t know how to love my family?
The notion left him uneasy. But when he surveyed the expensive furnishings and accent pieces in his bedroom, and recalled all that he provided for his family, he didn’t believe it could be true. Everything that caught his eye disproved that flash of doubt.
When Stevens said “Amen,” Gabe quickly said goodbye. He jumped up and headed to the bathroom.
Nothing else to do—so I might as well turn in early, he decided.
After a shower and a slice of cold pizza, Gabe turned on the TV and straddled the bed. He surfed until he landed on a sports channel and settled back on his pillow. Usually he enjoyed having the room and the remote to himself. Tonight, however, he felt awkward lying in this expansive space alone, with nothing but the shadows created by the moonlight to keep him company.
He was dozing off when his cell phone rang.
It was nurse Veronica.
“Hi, Gabe, babe. All packed for tomorrow?” she asked in a sultry drawl. “Ready for our trip?”
What did she want? “I’m ready. Stevens has made sure of that.”
“So you got prayed over too,” she said and laughed. “He and his wife are so cute. Surviving this God stuff is going to be the most interesting part of the trip.”
Gabe agreed. That and making sure he had a family to come back to. He sat up in bed and pointed the remote at the flat screen TV to turn it off. He reached for the cordless phone on the nightstand.
“Veronica, I’ll see you in the morning. I need to call Rachelle.”
18
Rachelle couldn’t go home.
She picked up Gabe’s message around ten p.m., asking if she could somehow make it home in time to see him off to Uganda.
“If I’ve pushed you away, I’ll do better,” he said. “Call me, Rachelle.”
If anything, the voice mail message made her angry. When she had settled Yasmin into bed and checked on Indigo, she went into the kitchen and called him back. He answered promptly, but she didn’t allow him to speak.
“Gabe, I got your message, but I can’t come home. Aunt Irene dislocated her hip in a car accident today and I need to be here for the family. She’s having surgery tomorrow.”
She didn’t tell him that Aunt Irene had been charged with drunk driving or that the accident had left a young boy with a broken leg and arm.
Gabe tried to interject, but she didn’t let him.
“Have a safe trip to Uganda. Don’t forget to call Tate and Taryn and leave them a message at Mom’s and Dad’s, if you haven’t already talked to them. And about your desire to work things out . . . we’ll see, Gabe.”
Rachelle sighed and felt the wave rushing toward her again. Where was all of this resentment coming from?
“I can’t believe you aren’t going to be here for me,” Gabe said.
Rachelle frowned. “You sound like a little boy, pouting over a missing toy. I’m not there to occupy you, the kids aren’t home, and even Helen isn’t around. You don’t have anybody to cater to you at the moment, so you’re feeling neglected. Well, too bad. Call me when you get back from Uganda and let’s see how sincere you are then.
“In the meantime? Can you please ask Lyle and Chrissa to pray for Aunt Irene and for Jillian?” Rachelle asked. “I know they won’t just give lip service; they’ll actually follow through. Have a good night, Gabe. Be safe.”
“Good night, Rachelle. I’ll see you when I get back. Take care of yourself and . . . ,” Gabe sounded contrite, “come home?”
She hung up without responding. This attitude would earn her an ugly nickname in some circles, but right now she could care less.
Gabe was finally paying her some attention, and for the first time she could recall, she didn’t want to be bothered.
Rachelle rose from the table and filled the kettle on the stovetop with fresh water. Some people couldn’t live without their coffee; tea was her thing. She always had at least two cups in the morning and two before going to bed.
It had been an emotional day, and she wasn’t the least bit sleepy. Hopefully she could make some progress on her Top Ten List, or at least move past number one.
Why is this bothering me so much?
She asked herself that question for the hundredth time as she poured honey into her tea and stirred it with a teaspoon. Was it because Jillian had made the request and she wanted to honor it?
She thought so at first, but in just the past few days, she realized that answer might be too simple.
Jillian had merely opened her eyes to all that she was missing, despite the trappings of wealth and privilege. If she could focus enough to decide what mattered most, maybe she would be able to stop floating through life at everyone else’s whim.
The baby steps she had taken so far felt good, but what use was it to push the envelope if she had no road map? Every day she was better appreciating the fragility of life; she didn’t feel invincible anymore.
If she didn’t do something about it soon, the things she might someday desire would have passed her by.
19
The phone rang nonstop the next morning, with everyone from Aunt Irene’s fellow retired schoolteacher friends to Uncle Charles’s boss calling to check on her.
Rachelle had forgotten how quickly news spread in a close-knit community. She fielded as many calls as she could before deciding to change the voice mail message.
“Thank you for calling the Burns family. We appreciate your thoughts and prayers for Irene. She is undergoing surgery soon and is expected to fully recuperate. We will update this message as soon as there is more news. In the meantime, please keep the family in your prayers. Thanks and God bless.”
Rachelle felt a bit hypocritical recording such a faith-filled message when she barely knew how to pray. She took the ease at which the words rolled off her tongue as proof that she wasn’t the only one who could turn holy when the situation called for it. Yet if the need arose, could she have effectively prayed with or for Aunt Irene? She wasn’t so sure.
Once the calls began rolling into voice mail, she woke up Indigo and Yasmin and urged them to get dressed. The mother of Yasmin’s best friend, Carmen, had called last night and offered for Yasmin to spend the next few days with her family, so Uncle Charles could concentrate on caring for Aunt Irene. He had accepted the offer and Rachelle planned to drop her off on the way to the hospital this morning.
Indigo was adamant about not needing a babysitter and had sulked for most of the evening, after Uncle Charles told her she couldn’t stay home alone all day. From what Rachelle could gather,
he normally gave her that option. But he clearly was shaken by Aunt Irene’s accident and insisted that this time she go over to a friend’s house.
“I’m just not sure how long we’re going to be at the hospital, baby,” he told her.
She had stomped to her room and avoided him the rest of the night.
This morning, she sat up in bed and told Rachelle she had settled on someone: Troy’s niece, Chaundra.
“I really like her, and this would be the perfect way to get to know her better,” Indigo said. “Can I hang out with her?”
Rachelle had summoned every ounce of maturity she possessed to keep a straight face. Did Indigo really expect her to call and set this up?
She kept forgetting the girl had no clue. Indigo was born the year that Rachelle and Troy married and divorced.
Rachelle shrugged. She needed to do whatever she could to help right now. This wouldn’t kill her. “Did she give you her number? Call her and see what her uncle says.”
Indigo’s eyes grew wide. “Her uncle? You mean Mr. Hardy isn’t her father? Is he single?”
Rachelle put her hand on her hips. “He may be single, Indigo, but he’s more than twenty years older than you. Get over it.”
The girl giggled and searched for Chaundra’s number in her list of cell phone contacts. She passed the phone to Rachelle. “Can you ask for me? I’m nervous around him.”
Rachelle raised an eyebrow. “Maybe you need to find another friend to visit today. You don’t need to be hanging around a man you have a crush on, especially since there’s not an adult female in the house. I’m not feeling this.”
Indigo rolled her eyes. “So now you’re saying he’s shady? I can’t believe this!”
Rachelle took a deep breath and tried to remember how over the top she had been as a teenager. If she couldn’t muster some patience, she just might snatch this girl up. “Look, let’s remember what this is all about, Indigo—not you. Your mom had a serious accident, she’s having surgery today, and we all need to pull together. Call Sabrina or one of your other girlfriends and ask the parents if Chaundra can come over there and hang out with you. I don’t have the energy for the drama today.”
Indigo sat Indian style on her bed and lowered her head. She muttered something Rachelle couldn’t hear and held her hand out for her cell phone.
“Aren’t you concerned about your mother? You seemed to be yesterday,” Rachelle said.
The wistfulness in Indigo’s eyes conveyed more than would ever cross her lips. Just as quickly as Rachelle noticed it, however, it was replaced by adolescent indifference.
Indigo dialed a number and asked to speak to Sabrina’s mother. “May I come over for the day and bring a friend who’s new to town, Mrs. Robinson?”
When she received the okay, she called Chaundra and looked expectantly at Rachelle, who sat on the edge of the bed, waiting to see how things would unfold.
“Mr. Hardy, good morning,” Indigo stammered. “Will you speak to my cousin?”
She thrust the phone at Rachelle, who grabbed it before it hit the floor. She glared at Indigo.
“Uh, hi, Troy, how are you?” She knew he must be thinking she set this up. “I’m sorry to bother you so early, but we’re calling to see if Chaundra can hang out with Indigo today, at a friend’s house? I’m heading to the hospital with Uncle Charles and we may be there most of the day, depending on how Aunt Irene’s surgery goes. Indigo is going over to another friend’s house, and that friend’s mother has invited Chaundra over too.”
Rachelle wanted to kick herself for going on and on, like an eager-beaver teenager.
Troy chuckled. “These young ladies are something else, aren’t they? Sure, she can hang out with Indigo today. She’ll be excited to meet some other girls too. Should I bring her over to Irene’s or drop her off somewhere?”
Rachelle hadn’t thought through the logistics. “Let’s see, I’m dropping Yasmin and Indigo at their friends’ houses on my way to Jubilant Memorial. Do you want me to pick up Chaundra?”
“No, no,” Troy said quickly. “You’ve got enough on your plate.
I’ll bring her by there, and if you want, I can drop the girls off wherever they need to go. That way, I can introduce myself and Chaundra to the girls’ parents.”
Rachelle was impressed. For an uncle doing a dad’s job, he was on point. But then again, hadn’t he always been?
Don’t go there this morning.
Her brief self-talk jerked her back on course. “That’s a great idea, Troy. Can you be here in about an hour?”
By the time she showered and dressed, Uncle Charles had already left for the hospital. Since Yasmin was raring to go, he had taken her to Carmen’s house when he left.
Rachelle grabbed a few magazines and a bottle of water and made sure she had her cell phone, so she could check in with Taryn and Tate before she reached the hospital. Those “No cell phones allowed” signs were plastered everywhere.
She checked her hair and makeup in the mirror, out of habit. Gabe liked her to look flawless, even if she were running to the neighborhood gas station for a refill. He wasn’t here to offer a critique, so she gave herself an “A.”
She had been in Jubilant just a few days, and already she felt sluggish after missing her Pilates class. Maybe she could walk the neighborhood this evening, if all went well with Aunt Irene’s surgery.
“Come on, Indigo! Mr. Hardy will be here in a few minutes.”
It felt strange referring to Troy in such formal terms, but Rachelle wasn’t sure what he had told Chaundra about her. She intended to downplay their connection as long as he did. At the same time, she was nervous about seeing him again, even if only briefly.
She plopped on the living room sofa to wait for Indigo and glanced at her watch. It was just 8:45, but it seemed so much later, perhaps because she had risen around six a.m.
Thinking about Aunt Irene’s accident and the fact that she had been drinking saddened Rachelle. After they helped her work her way through the hip injury, the family needed to address her drinking.
The doorbell rang and Rachelle trotted to answer it. Troy and Chaundra stood there expectantly.
Rachelle opened the door wide and welcomed them in. She hugged Chaundra and led them into the kitchen.
“Indigo left a bag on the table in here with her iPod and a few other necessities,” she told Chaundra and Troy. “I want to make sure she doesn’t forget it. Are you guys thirsty?”
Instead of joining them at the table, she bustled about, all of a sudden finding things that should be put away or reorganized.
Indigo emerged from her bedroom and greeted her friend. “Thanks for coming over,” she told Chaundra. “You remember Sabrina from my party, right? She has a great hangout room at her place.”
Rachelle explained that Troy would be dropping them off.
“That’s the plan,” he said and looked at Rachelle. “Then I’ll swing by the hospital and check on Irene.”
Rachelle waved him off. “You don’t have to do that,” she said. “It’s nice of you, but I know you’re busy. When do you start working on campus?”
“Not ’til the fall semester begins,” he said. “But I’ve been dropping by occasionally, just to get a sense of how the department works and to organize my office.”
Rachelle nodded.
“Let’s get in the truck,” Chaundra told Indigo. “There’s a song I want you to hear on my iPod, and I didn’t bring it in.”
When they were gone, Rachelle and Troy stood facing each other across the kitchen island. Neither knew what to say, but neither looked away.
Rachelle wanted to ask him why he had custody of the girl. No—she really wanted to know whether he hated her for leaving him all those years ago, with nothing more than a note and her half of the rent.
Troy broke the silence. “I couldn’t hate you if I tried, you know.”
A thrill raced through Rachelle. How had he known what she was thinking? Then she remembered—he had
always known her that well.
The fact that he could still read her expressions after fifteen years, when Gabe had no clue, stunned her.
Troy peered into her eyes and she realized the connection was mutual: she knew what he was thinking and feeling too. He might not hate her, but he needed the explanation she had never had the courage to give him.
She couldn’t. If he knew why she left, he just might realize she hadn’t been worthy of him in the first place.
She zeroed in on his lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him again.
“You know, Rachelle, I’ve forgiven you,” Troy said.
Those words chilled her like a splash of cold water.
“I kept holding out hope that you would realize we had something special,” he said. “I just knew you would finally wake up and decide that your mom and dad couldn’t keep making all of your decisions for you and that you would come back.
“After a while, all I wanted was the reason you just threw us away. But even without that, I moved on.”
Tears filled Rachelle’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Troy.”
She wanted to ask why, if he had loved her so much, he hadn’t come after her.
With that selfish thought, she couldn’t look at him any longer. She turned her back and wiped away the single tear snaking its way down her cheek. “I was young and stupid and intent on keeping my parents happy, but I didn’t realize how much it would cost me.”
That was all she could offer him right now. Besides, the girls were sitting in the truck waiting.
As if on cue, Rachelle’s cell phone rang and she trotted to the living room to retrieve it from her purse. It was Aunt Melba.
Troy paused in the entrance connecting the two rooms and waved at her as she flipped the phone open. He formed his lips to speak, but instead smiled and left through the front door.
Rachelle watched him go and calculated his assets. He was smart, kind, and talented. He could have been a football star with that physique or a model with that face, but he had never used those qualities to his advantage or been arrogant about what he considered his gifts from God.