by M. Leighton
I swallow, my mouth suddenly dry. “No, you’re right. It’s not because I don’t want to. I… I just…”
He waits for me to continue, and when I don’t he asks, “What is it? Talk to me?”
His eyes drift away from mine for a second as he uses one finger to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“That relationship I told you about?”
“The guy who’s now your boss?”
“Yeah, that one. Well,” I say on an exhale, digging up courage and pushing down hurt pride, “last night, we were in his office and I…I thought he was going to kiss me. I mean, he was definitely going to kiss me. I didn’t misunderstand that. The way he acted after… Well, anyway, he was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him. I’ve kept things strictly professional since we broke up. When he ended it, I didn’t do the drunken calls or the pining or the ice cream binges, I just let go. I moved on. Or at least I thought I did. But after last night, I wasn’t so sure anymore.”
“So that’s why you don’t want to sleep with me? Because of him?”
“Not because of the reason you think. I called him on the way up here today. I was going to invite him to come and spend a couple of days with me. I knew what that could mean for us, but I thought I was ready to dive back in if he was. Only—”
I trip over the words, the fact that he was with another woman the whole time still stinging.
“Only?” Dash prompts.
I keep my eyes focused on his throat, concentrating on the manly curve of his Adam’s apple and the sexy way it hollows out right below it. What is it with me and men’s throats?
“Only a woman answered the phone. And he hadn’t even told me he’d started seeing anyone.”
“Should he have? I mean, he’s your boss. You two have been broken up for…”
“Two years,” I supply in his pause.
“You two have been broken up for two years. Do you really think it would be wise for him to discuss his personal life with you?”
There’s no judgment in his tone, no condescension. Just calm reason, like he’s really asking my thoughts on the matter rather than condemning what he assumes my thoughts are.
“Absolutely not. Until he almost kissed me. I think at that point, he should’ve told me.”
Dash is quiet for a few seconds, causing me to raise my gaze to his face. He nods. “I can see that. Agreed.”
“I was pretty hurt when I heard her voice, but then I got up here and you walked in and…”
“And?”
“If I had any real feelings for Jake, there is no way I’d have been so attracted to you.” I feel a blush sting my cheeks, my embarrassment making itself known. The burn deepens when I see Dash’s smile—wide and genuine rather than cocky and self-assured.
After a few quiet seconds, during which I fight the urge to bury my face, Dash asks, “Did you think you were still in love with him? Prior to that, I mean.”
I mull over his question. “I don’t think I really thought about that at all. I used to love him, and I miss him, and, at that moment, I really wanted him to kiss me.”
After a short pause, Dash says my name. “Dilyn?”
“Yes?”
“Have you ever really been in love?”
“I…I think so.”
“Do you think it’s ever really over when you truly love someone? Do you think you could ever turn it off? Outrun it? Drink it away?”
“Do you?”
“No. I think real love doesn’t ever go away. You can’t turn it off, outrun it, or drink it away. I’ve tried. My parents gave me every reason to stop loving them. But I couldn’t. As much as they’ve done, and as much as they haven’t done, I still love them, and I guess I always will. But I don’t think they ever loved me that way. If they did, they couldn’t have just walked away after my brother died. Yet that’s what they did. They just…disappeared.”
“Maybe you’re right,” I confess, my words so soft even I can barely hear them. “Because as much as I’d like to hate my father and my mother, I don’t. I think that’s why it hurts so much. Maybe I’ve never really been in love. Maybe I don’t want to be. Maybe I don’t want to give anyone else that kind of power over me.”
“I feel the same way.”
I stare into eyes so black, I can almost see stars, like I’m looking into the glistening night sky. For the first time in my life, I can see how loving someone completely could be dangerous. I don’t need something as cliché as time to tell me that if I were to let this man in, he could hurt me. Badly. He could break me if he walked away. But would I risk it? Would I risk it for whatever glorious days, weeks, months, years we’d have together? “What if we don’t have a choice?”
“That’s when we go all in. That’s the kind of love I’ll stop skiing for. The kind that’s worth everything. It’s all or nothing for me. And when I find my ‘all’, I’ll give her everything.”
There’s an odd pang in my chest when I tell him, “Then I hope you find her.”
He laughs, a short, hushed sound. “That’s like hoping I ski off a cliff, isn’t it?”
“Only if the cliff is worth it.”
“No cliff is worth that. At least not that I’ve found yet.”
Yet. Yet means maybe, just maybe, that could change.
It’s in those words that I realize that, as preposterous as it sounds, I want desperately to be that cliff for him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Dash
I watch as Dilyn pushes herself up onto one elbow, her golden eyes pouring down into mine like perfectly aged whiskey.
“Maybe you’ll find the right cliff,” she whispers. Eyes flickering down to my mouth and up again, she leans in and kisses me. It’s soft, tentative. But it’s enough to make me want more.
A helluva lot more.
When I go to deepen the kiss, she pulls away to push at my shoulders. When I roll onto my back, she throws one leg over and straddles me.
My hands go to her naked hips as she settles over me. I only feel smooth, warm skin because all she’s wearing is a bra and her socks. I squelch the urge to push up against the wet heat between her legs starting to penetrate my thin pants, leaving a damp spot.
I clench my teeth.
Jesus.
Dilyn moves her mouth to my chin then down my throat to my chest. Her hands skim as she goes, roving over my bare skin and bringing my dick to raging life.
When she gets to the narrow waistband of my Under Armor, she curls her fingers into the elastic and starts easing it down. She pulls the material up and over my stiff cock then pauses to suck the head into her mouth.
With a groan, I push my fingers into her thick hair, my instinct to thrust into that hot cave, but she’s already on the move, continuing on and pulling my pants with her as she goes. When she’s dragged them off my legs, she tosses them aside, much like I did hers. I lift my head enough to look down at her. She’s watching me as she reaches around to unclasp her bra and let it fall from her shoulders.
I groan, my abs tightening when she cups them in her palms and tweaks her own nipples. “Holy fu—.” The words die on my lips when she bends forward and smashes those sweet tits around my shaft, moving the silky skin over me, base to tip and back again.
I flex my hips, rubbing myself through the canal of her perfect, firm breasts. It feels so damn good, but it’s not the friction I want.
As if reading my mind, Dilyn raises, climbing up my body to straddle me again. Moist heat gushes over my dick and all I think about is impaling her on it.
I sit up, grabbing her face in my hands and plundering her mouth like I want to plunder her body. I reach between us and slip a single finger into her, instantly feeling the tight, hot clutch of her body as it milks it.
“Oh, Jesus God. You’re so wet. So wet,” I murmur against her mouth, curling my fingers into her hair and tugging her head back.
I lick my way to her skyward-facing nipples and suck one, giving it a soft bite with my teeth. She m
oans, arching into me, so I slip another finger into her, thrusting twice quickly and then dragging them slowly in and out, moisture oozing down over my knuckles.
“Christ, I wanna be in you,” I admit, my cock painfully hard at this point. “Deep inside you. Stretching you so tight you’ll feel me tomorrow with every step you take.”
She moans, her silky muscles flexing around my fingers.
“Dash, please.”
I’m so torn. So damn torn. “Is…is this what you really want? You made me promise.”
Shit. I hate that I feel the need to bring that up, but hell, I like this girl. I don’t want her to hate me tomorrow because I can’t control my dick.
Dilyn’s mouth is partially open, her breath coming in pants as she cups my face and looks deeply into my eyes, her hips riding my fingers.
“I swear. I want this. I should never have asked you to promise not to give me something I want so much.”
“You’re sure?”
Christ, dude, let it go!
But I can’t.
I have to make sure.
“I’m positive. I want you inside me. Right now.”
“I’m not…not wearing any protection, but I swear I’m clean. I swear it.”
“I’m clean, too. And I’ve got an IUD,” she breathes, moving on my hand. “Dash, please.”
She doesn’t have to ask me again. I claim her mouth again, removing my wet fingers and moving them around to grip her ass and lift her onto me. When my head touches the sweet cave of her body, I pause.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, practically vibrating with need.
“Not one damn thing. I just want to enjoy every second of this. Feel every second of this.”
Slowly, so slowly it almost hurts, I lower her over me. She takes me halfway before I meet resistance and pause. I kiss her, suck on her lips, and then lick at her nipples until she relaxes around me. Only then do I lower her some more, leaning back until she melts down over me.
When I’m buried almost fully within her, I lean back even more and flex my hips. One sharp move and I’m in so deep, I can feel her heat pour down over my balls.
“Oh shit!”
My cock shudders with the need to explode, but I bite down, clenching my teeth until the urgency passes. I’m nowhere near ready for this to be over. I’ve gone bare before, cautiously so, but it’s never felt like this.
Dilyn pushes on my shoulders until I lie back, and then she starts to ride me. She’s glorious as hell with her wavy hair flowing over one shoulder, brushing one mouthwatering nipple, and her lush little mouth rounded into an O of pleasure. She rises up and then slams down on me, taking me even deeper, and I groan. She’s gonna keep pushing me until I come, and it’s too soon.
Sitting up, I grab her around the waist and spin until she’s beneath me. I pull her legs up and out, spreading her wide enough that I can lever up on one arm and use my other to explore the slick, hard little nub between her thighs.
She starts making these delicious sounds, like she wants to scream, but she doesn’t have the breath to do it. I pound her harder, pulling way out and slamming back in, grinding my hips against hers and circling my finger over her. I’m relentless.
I clench my jaw, growling down at her. “I won’t stop until you come all over me. I want to feel everything you’ve got dripping between us.”
That does it. She sucks in a breath, her thighs flexing around me, and then boom! Spasms, slow and tight, squeeze me as her insides roll in wave after wave of her orgasm.
She gushes over the head of my cock and down my shaft, coming all over my balls as they slap against her.
Before she can stop, I pull out and flip her onto her stomach, pulling her round ass up toward my belly and plunging into her from behind. She braces herself up on her hands, looking back over her shoulder at me. When she meets my gaze with those sleepy, sexy eyes of hers—eyes that were made for moments like this—I lose it. I grab her hips and pound into her, almost vicious in my need now.
“I’m gonna come. Tell me you’re ready for it.”
“Please, please, please,” she huffs, rocking her body back against mine, taking me deeper every time.
And then I’m there, pouring come into her, every muscle in my body tightening until my back is arched away from her and my cock buried so deep I feel her give a little more.
Finally, I collapse over her, resting my forehead against the curve of her shoulder. “Did I hurt you?” I manage to ask, my body shuddering involuntarily, my dick still pulsing inside her.
“No,” she says breathlessly.
“I think you might’ve gotten me a little too excited,” I confess on a derisive laugh.
“You don’t hear me complaining.”
“Good,” I tell her, pulling out and laying my hand on the swell of her ass. “Don’t move.”
My legs are like rubber as I make my way to the bathroom to wet a washcloth and take it back into the living room. Dilyn is lying, belly up, but otherwise where I left her.
“I said don’t move.”
“I couldn’t help it. My legs and arms don’t want to work any more.”
She grins and I grin.
“I know the feeling.”
I kneel down and clean her up, wishing I could start all over and devour her again. I could drown in this woman and never want to come up for air.
“What are you thinking?” she asks.
My hand has slowed to a stop, not intentionally, so I move to give my dick a swipe then toss the damp washcloth on top of my pants before stretching out beside Dilyn.
“That I would love to do that all over again.” She smiles and curls up against me, which for some odd reason causes me to admit, “And that I could drown in you and never want to come up for air.”
At that, she lifts her eyes to mine. “Funny. I was thinking almost the exact same thing.”
Seconds pass with her looking into my eyes, me getting lost in hers, and something happens.
Something that makes me want to ski right off a cliff.
I shake off the thought and go for humor to lighten the mood.
“That you could drown in you? That would be interesting.”
She slaps my chest playfully. “Smart-ass.”
The excitement of the day, the exhilaration of conquering the mountain and then coming back to find a little piece of heaven waiting for me, finally catches up with me. Without meaning to, I doze off, my last memory of staring into Dilyn’s warm, smiling eyes and then…nothing.
CHAPTER NINE
Dilyn
When I wake, it’s morning. One arm is numb and my legs are pinned down by something.
That’s when the night before comes back to me in a rush.
Dash.
I smile automatically. I will forever associate his name with wonderful, magical things. A charming smile, drugging kisses, a hypnotic touch, but so much more than that, too.
I open my eyes. Dash is still holding me, his chin angled up toward the top of my head. His jaw is dark with stubble and his gorgeous mouth is relaxed in sleep. This way, he looks beautiful, innocently beautiful rather than the devilishly handsome man that appears when he opens those incredible eyes of his.
I snuggle in closer, content to rest in his arms until he wakes. Seconds, minutes or maybe even an hour later, a sound rouses me. My first thought is of a car engine, but it’s quiet now, so I can’t be sure I didn’t just dream it.
I turn my head to listen, but only the snap of the dying fire and Dash’s deep, even breathing break the silence.
Then I hear a muffled thump. I know then that it’s definitely a vehicle of some sort, because that was definitely a door slamming shut.
I get up quickly and scoop up the scattered bits and pieces of my wardrobe, tugging on first bra then shirt then pants, not seeing my panties right away. Before I can wake Dash, a knock sounds at the door. I race to the window, sidling up to it and peeking around so I’m not seen. What if it’s the woman Dash had c
oming? What if she came anyway and arrives to find me, naked, in the arms of her man?
A spike of self-loathing rises up inside me, but I push it to the backburner and stretch out a little farther until I get a glimpse of the right half of a body. I straighten, a frown coming to my face.
The person at the door looks an awful lot like Jake.
I brush a hand over my hair to smooth it before I twist the lock and crack the door. Sure enough, Jake, my boss and my ex-boyfriend, is standing on the porch of a secluded chalet in the middle of nowhere, Colorado.
“Jake? What are you doing here?”
“Jesus, Dilyn! You scared the shit out of me. You called yesterday and when I called you back, I got no answer. I tried several times, and when I couldn’t get you, I texted Calvin to see if he’d heard from you. He said there was a big snowstorm and you would probably be stuck up here, so I hopped the next flight out of the city and came straight here. It took me half the night to find someone who would rent me a vehicle that could get me up here in all this snow, and then the rest of the night to find you.” He takes a deep breath, rakes a hand through his hair. “Are you okay?”
I stare at him for a few seconds, mouth agape, pondering all that he just told me. “I’m fine. There was no reason for you to come all the way up here.”
“Of course there was. I thought something had happened to you.”
“Well, it didn’t. I’m fine. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
The skin between Jake’s eyes pinches into a frown. “Is something wrong?”
I consider lying, but these last hours, spent in bold honesty with Dash, make the prospect of speaking anything less than the truth distasteful, like it would somehow diminish what Dash and I shared. I deserve someone who is completely straightforward with me, and I will give nothing less.