“When I look in your eyes,” he cleared his throat uncomfortably aware he had apparently suffered a psychotic break and was pretty much laying his heart on the table with an audience and no certainty of how Elle would respond. Hell, he’d been fighting it for weeks and it was probably about time he acknowledged he’d lost the battle. He’d just never foreseen he’d be waving the white flag in public. But she needed this. Not later when they were alone, not tomorrow, not next week. Now. She needed validation she was someone instead of something. If he made an ass of himself, so be it. It’s not like it would be a novel experience. Somehow, though these weeks with her hadn’t completely appeased his fear of binding his soul to a mortal woman with a finite lifespan, he’d mostly replaced it with the quiet realization that at least a broken heart would mean he’d allowed himself to love someone deeply enough for it to break. And that love, however long it lasted, was worth it. She was worth it. He didn’t know how many years they would have, but maybe it was okay to be uncertain. They could be uncertain together and maybe it would help them appreciate each day they did share. “When I look in your eyes I don’t see test tubes or petri dishes or laboratories. I don’t see DNA or irrelevant genetic composition. When I look in your eyes, I see what no science can create or replicate. I see the radiance of your soul. I see you.”
When he finished speaking, Dimitri closed his eyes and dropped his forehead onto his clasped hands. In the profound silence that followed, he swore he heard the dust settling on the furniture. Elle’s reaction, when it came at last, originated completely from left field and her voice was much closer than he expected.
“What do you mean you can’t get past the Penelope? Did you know the original Penelope faithfully waited twenty years for her husband Odysseus to return from the Trojan War? And it’s not like she didn’t have offers, Dimitri. Lots of them. I’m quite taken with the name, really.”
Dimitri opened his eyes and glimpsed the toes of Elle’s shoes planted directly in front of his. He raised his head slowly, drinking in every inch of her, feet shoulder width apart, fists planted on shapely hips, lips pressed in a thin line, and brows arched sharply over blue, blue eyes glinting with moisture and doubt.
“Seriously? I spill my guts in a room full of people and that’s what you take away from it?”
“Kat and Kassian hardly constitute a room full of people. You’re going to have to own the Penelope, Dimitri.”
What the hell, it was just a name, wasn’t it? Dimitri turned it over and over in his mind. He sat back in the chair and looked up at her, standing in front of him, taut as a bowstring, waiting. Kat remained on the arm of the chair Elle had vacated, smiling against the fingers pressed to her lips. Mac drummed his fingertips on the arm of the sofa, head turned in the direction of the wall of windows overlooking the city. The seconds ticked by and Dimitri knew his response to this seemingly innocuous issue was vitally important. Elle shifted from one foot to the other and a flash of uncertainty crossed her face. Like a ray of sunlight piercing a bank of storm clouds, it hit him. It might not make sense to anyone else, but he got it. She needed him to accept the name, before she could truly believe he accepted everything else about her. And if he could accept her completely, she could completely accept herself.
“Well, I guess if you can live with my scarred mug, I can live with Penelope.”
“What scars?”
His grin cramped his cheeks. He reached out and grabbed the waistband of her jeans, tugging until she tumbled awkwardly into his lap and settled against his chest right over his painfully thumping heart.
“Did you know that when the Japanese mend something that’s been broken, they fill the cracks with gold? They believe when something’s been damaged it has a history and that makes it even more valuable, more beautiful. I read it on the internet so it must be true, right?” She traced her finger lightly along the length of his scar and smiled into his eyes. For a heartbeat, he found himself lost in their blue depths. He realized at that moment when he looked into her eyes he didn’t simply see her, he saw the missing part of himself. Whether she was human or Earthbound or some unknown species in between, she was his.
“Seriously?” he asked.
“Seriously.”
“Okay, then.” He lifted her slightly, removing her firm, wiggling backside from his now aching groin, and settled her more comfortably on his thigh. Her lips curved up with a knowing smile, but she made no comment and simply snuggled into him like a contented kitten. “Now where were we?”
“Before or after Cupid and his army of cherubs swooped in with little golden arrows?” Mac responded dryly, crooking a finger at his wife to call her back to his side.
“Before.” Dimitri shot back placidly, completely immune to his friend’s obvious sarcasm. He well remembered the lump of putty his brother warrior had been in Kat’s hands when they first hooked up.
“I believe we were discussing the finer points of genetic engineering, though when all is said and done, the how is far less important than the why. Wouldn’t you agree?” Mac arched a brow.
“Absolutely. Thoughts?”
“Kassian, does Cupid really have an army of little cherubs?” Kat playfully poked her husband in the chest.
“Cupid is a foolish, flighty little boy who likes to give himself far more credit than he’s due. Now can we please get back to the problem at hand?”
“Elle thinks Gatewick might be working with the Librarians in an attempt to create some sort of super-race,” Dimitri offered. “For what ultimate purpose, who knows, but consider a suicide bomber who doesn’t die and could be recycled for multiple missions. That would be a pretty valuable commodity, don’t you think?”
“But, why continue playing with the Retrovirus-mediated gene transfer if he’d had success with DNA microinjection?” Elle mused aloud. “That’s always bothered me. If his goal is to create his own version of Earthbound, why not stick with a method that’s proven successful?”
“Well, you said yourself a lot of this is based on supposition on your part. You don’t really know for sure what technique he used or even what he’s really up to, right?” Kat pointed out.
“Yeah, I guess so. It just seemed to be the theory that made the most sense,” Elle conceded with a sigh.
Mac glanced down at his wife, who shrugged before they both looked directly at Dimitri.
“How many more bombshells do you think she can absorb tonight?” Dimitri heard Mac’s voice in his head on the common channel used by all Earthbound.
“She’s pretty tough. Why?” Dimitri narrowed his eyes at his friends.
“She has a right to know all of it, Kassian,” Kat interjected. “Look at everything I had thrown at me in a short period of time. I coped. I know Elle and she will, too.”
“Dimitri?” Mac gave Dimitri the call, acknowledging the bond between his brother Defensori and his wife’s best friend.
Dimitri told Elle he believed she was strong and resourceful and he did. Whatever came, she would deal with it. And if her own strength failed her, she could borrow on his. That’s the way this love stuff worked, right? Yeah, he loved her. He could admit it to himself now, and accept it. He waited for the panic to hit, but it never came. Feeling as though he’d lived the last several hundred years looking at his life through an impenetrable fog, in this moment he had total clarity, and what he saw beyond the mist was Elle. He loved her and he had to learn to live in the present and let the future worry about itself.
“What are you three talking about?” Elle pouted.
“You heard that?” Dimitri pulled back and looked at her incredulously.
“Not really,” Elle’s face wrinkled in concentration. “More like a buzzing sensation in my head and a feeling I was missing something. And I know you guys have that whole telepathy thing going on.”
Dimitri exchanged a worried glance with Mac. Maybe Gatewick had been more successful than any of them imagined. Was it possible that because Elle’s Earthbound was genetically
engineered, it simply took time for her powers to develop rather than them being present from birth? Mac shrugged and shook his head. They were all navigating new territory and clearly Mac had no more insight into the possibilities than Dimitri.
“Elle,” Kat began slowly. “What did Gatewick tell you about the Librarians?”
Elle sat up straighter in his lap, accidentally grinding her bottom into his crotch. When she turned to grin at him, he realized it was no accident and that sent his blood racing in a way that made an uncomfortable situation even worse.
“He said they were a secret society whose mission was to observe and record Earthbound activity and do whatever it took to prevent them from interfering with human history,” she replied.
“Here’s the thing, Elle,” Mac began slowly. “Gatewick lied.”
Shifting her position, Elle draped an arm over the back of the chair, and began to twirl a lock of Dimitri’s hair nervously around her finger. It was as sensuously silky as she’d imagined it would be. He loved her. Oh, he hadn’t said the words, and neither had she, but it was there in the air between them and they’d get around to it eventually. It was enough for now he’d made it clear he accepted her, every part of her. Knowing he still wanted her with all of her truths exposed and her secrets laid bare gave her a peace she’d never known and hadn’t even been aware she craved until now. She felt as though she could cope with anything McAllister threw at her as long as she had Dimitri at her side. Of course, if he ever called her Penelope, she might have to kill him.
Chapter Twelve
“Gatewick lied? Well, call the press ’cause there’s a newsflash,” Elle’s lips twisted into a grimace as she leaned back against Dimitri’s chest now that she felt the freedom to do so. His arms tightened around her imperceptibly, giving her the unasked for support he always seemed able to anticipate. “C’mon, McAllister. I know you’re dying to spit it out. Let me have it.”
Instead of continuing, McAllister drew in a deep breath and released it through pursed lips, while his wife favored him with an expectant smile.
“Yes, by all means, McAllister. Spit it out. It won’t kill you, I promise.”
“Fine. Elle, whatever impression you may have gotten, I do not dislike you. I freely admit, I completely misjudged you and totally underestimated you and, for whatever it’s worth, I apologize.” He frowned down at Katrina. “Happy, Wife?”
“You know what they say, McAllister. Happy wife, happy life. You may continue.” She waggled her brows in Elle’s direction. Elle simply shook her head affectionately at her friend knowing she had coerced the apology from the dark, frowning man at her side.
“You know, McAllister, if you weren’t wearing such a painfully constipated expression during the delivery, I might perceive that apology as a little more sincere. Admit it, you bought the ditzy shopaholic act of mine hook, line, and Louboutins. Guess that makes you the bigger airhead, huh?”
“Pushing.” Mac ground out between clenched teeth when Elle continued to grin and Katrina actually had the audacity to giggle. “I said it and I meant it, okay? Can we move on now?”
“By all means. Apology accepted, by the way.” Elle knew Kat had instigated the apology and for Kat’s sake, she would give McAllister’s sincerity the benefit of the doubt. But really, did he have to look as though he was having his teeth pulled?
“Good. Anyway, the Librarians have been around for thousands of years, and part of what Gatewick told you is true. Their mission, as they see it, is to observe and record Earthbound history. Period. They don’t interfere with us and we don’t interfere with them. My brother Alec, however, has managed to cultivate a couple of friendships within the organization that have been mutually beneficial, and he utilizes their research facilities from time to time.”
“So he’s the brains and you’re the brawn?”
“I’m going to ignore that.”
“As you wish. Pray continue.”
“When I filled Alec in earlier, he made a couple of calls. The Librarians categorically deny any affiliation with John Gatewick or his research.”
“I don’t understand,” Elle untangled her fingers from Dimitri’s hair and sat up straighter. “Why would he want people to believe he was a member? Seems like an odd thing to lie about.”
“I don’t know,” McAllister admitted. “The most plausible explanation either Alec or I can come up with is that whatever his ultimate goal, he wants to somehow pin any potential fallout on the Librarians by perpetuating the idea he’s working under their patronage. Maybe he’s holding some kind of grudge.”
Elle jumped to her feet, strode across the room, and began to pace the width of the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other tapping out the rhythm of her steps against her thigh.
“Baby, what are you doing?” Dimitri asked.
“Writing.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m writing. In my head, I mean. I’m trying to look at all of this as though it’s the plot in a novel and hypothesize a logical conclusion. Can’t hurt, right?”
“Actually,” McAllister sat forward and his brows flew into his hairline. “With your talent, that might be the most productive idea I’ve heard all night.”
Elle arched a brow. “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, McAllister.”
“Savor it,” he advised with a grin.
“See, Kassian,” Kat rose gracefully to her feet and patted her husband on the head. “You said something nice about Elle all by yourself and it didn’t even kill you. Coffee, anyone?”
“I’ll deal with you later, wife,” McAllister swatted his wife’s behind as she headed off in the direction of the kitchen.
“I’m counting on it, husband,” she laughed over her shoulder.
“I still don’t get it. How do the Fallen figure into all this?” McAllister directed the question at Elle. “I can’t see any reason they’d back any project with the potential to increase the number of Earthbound on the planet.”
“No idea.” Elle shrugged. “In fact, until Dimitri mentioned them, I never even suspected they were involved. Sure, there were always others around, but I couldn’t tell you if they were human, Earthbound, or Fallen. Oh, and Gatewick has a backer, Justin Chen. Gatewick sure as hell doesn’t have the means to finance this sort of thing on his own.”
“Name Chen ring a bell?” McAllister asked.
“Nope.” Dimitri shook his head slowly.
“Maybe it’s just a coincidence and the animorti really were tracking Dimitri?” Elle asked hopefully.
“Unlikely. Don’t forget Kat’s recollection of the men who came looking for you after you escaped. She knew they were evil, though she probably attributed the knowledge to her empathic abilities at the time. Probably animorti. I think we have to assume that whatever Gatewick’s agenda, a Fallen is behind it at worst or integrally involved at best.”
A gray curtain obscured her vision and Elle felt her bones dissolve as her mind went to a place she fought hard to keep it from traveling. A pair of strong arms caught her as she felt herself crumple to the floor, and pulled her securely against a solid, broad chest. She blinked rapidly into Dimitri’s worried face and her breath came in uneven little pants as she struggled to clear her vision and hold onto consciousness.
“What the hell…” McAllister muttered as Dimitri strode to the sofa and McAllister shot to his feet to make room.
“Get those pillows under her legs,” Dimitri instructed briskly as he lowered her carefully to the couch, his voice sounding faint and faraway. McAllister grasped both her ankles in one large hand and raised her legs as though they weighed nothing while stuffing a mound of decorative cushions beneath them. Dimitri crouched next to the sofa, tenderly brushing her hair back from her forehead. “What is it, baby? What happened?”
Elle concentrated on Dimitri’s beautiful dark eyes gazing down at her with such concern, and willed the mist to clear. Her finger
s tangled in the neck of his T-shirt, fisting the fabric like a lifeline. Pleading with her eyes, she opened her mouth to speak but her still racing pulse fluttered like the wings of a hundred moths in her throat, stealing her breath and leaving her gasping.
“Breathe with me, honey. C’mon, watch me…like this…smell a rose, blow out a candle.” Elle concentrated on mimicking Dimitri, pulling in great gulps of air through her nose and blowing it out through tightly pursed lips until the fluttering subsided and she resumed breathing almost normally. She still held his shirt in a stranglehold and pulled him to her when he made a move to sit back on his heels.
“What if I’m one of them?” She whispered in a choked voice.
“What? Who?” Dimitri’s dark brows knit together in a genuinely puzzled expression. With a groan, Elle released his shirt and struggled to raise herself onto her elbows. His arm went immediately under her shoulders to assist her into a sitting position and McAllister pulled a couple of the pillows out from under her legs and shoved them behind her back. Elle pushed her hair back off of her face with a shaky hand and drew in a deep breath.
“If Fallen are behind this, what if my DNA isn’t Earthbound at all. What if…what if my DNA is actually Fallen? It isn’t like Gatewick didn’t lie about everything else. Oh God, Dimitri…what if I’m one of them?”
Elle buried her face in her hands. What if, after everything—escaping Gatewick’s compound, building a life, exposing her secrets, and finding the man she suspected was her once in a lifetime—it turned out she was biologically his sworn enemy, the product of evil?
“Oh my God, Elle! What happened?” Katrina’s shriek was followed by the clatter of a serving tray and its contents as she dropped it on the coffee table.
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