Tears were spilling down my face now. But what? Either he wanted to live with us or he didn’t.
“Your mom and I need to work some stuff out,” he said.
I figured it meant one day they’d take me out separately and tell me while they both loved me, they were going to take some time away from one another and oh, won’t the space do us all a lot of good? Well no, it sucked, and I was sick of this. I didn’t want to scream, “Make a decision,” and have them say, “Okay, let’s get a divorce,” but this waiting and wondering stunk, too. Everything had been fine, and now it was all messed up again. I went to get ready for bed, but when I came out to say “goodnight,” I overheard Dad saying this was getting to me.
“Do we have to get into this right now?” Mom asked.
“Laine, I hate being separated from you guys,” he said. “I don’t like leaving the clinic, but if I have to… but where would I live? I don’t want to live in the same town and have to get an apartment somewhere.”
Something touched my arm, and I almost screamed. I whirled around and saw Grandma standing there with a finger to her lips. She led me back to the den.
“Let them try and work things out, honey,” she said, sitting next to me.
“I thought everything was back to normal after Dad was here last time. Mom was sad when he left and they talked on the phone all the time, but I guess she’s mad because she had to quit school to take care of me.”
Grandma said my mom had wanted to take care of me. It didn’t make me feel any better, but I told her it did. She gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me to go to sleep.
****
In the morning, I went into the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal before Dad got up because I felt stupid for crying in front of him. No such luck. He was already at the table and asked if I wanted to go to a movie today. I shrugged.
“We could go to the museum,” he said, and I made a face. “No takers. Okay, how about… the mall?”
“For real?”
“Yeah.” He looked less than thrilled.
“I’ll go get dressed.” I tore out of the room before he could change his mind. I came back when he was asking Mom to go.
“Have you ever shopped with her?” she asked. “She’s got a mind of her own.”
“I wonder where she gets it from?” he said. She put her hand up to protest, and he walked up and put his hand around hers. “Kidding. We can go out for lunch, too,” he said.
Mom said she’d go, and Grandma and I piled into the backseat of Dad’s car. I noticed my parents were going out of their way to be polite to one another, and I got the feeling Grandma had said something to them. Dad even dropped us off at the door. After we ate, Mom wanted to look at couches at Jordan’s furniture store. While she was looking, Dad found some bookcases he liked. His old bookcase was in our den. Great, let’s buy more furniture for his apartment so he’ll never leave Chicago.
“What do you think of this couch?” Mom asked.
“It’s kind of formal, but if you like it,” he said.
“I thought we could move the other one in the living room downstairs,” she said.
“What are you guys talking about?” I asked.
“We’re thinking about finishing the basement and making a family room and an office down there,” she said.
“Why? Is Dad moving in?” I asked.
“Well, he’s going to see about transferring,” she said. I wasn’t getting the answer I wanted so I went to Dad.
“Hopefully, I’ll find some place I like. I don’t want to go into private practice—“
“But will you live with us?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said. “Now I think a new flat TV would look nice in the basement, but your mom wants some frou-frou thing to hold the TV you guys already have. I think you should decide.”
Mom cleared her throat. “Fine, we’ll get another TV. I could never stand all the sports you watched anyway.”
We ended up leaving the store because Mom said we should pick out a carpet before we got any furniture. We stopped at the bookstore, and I found a copy of Jane Eyre. Mom usually makes me pay half, but Dad bought it for me. He and I stood in line at the café, and I asked if I could get a latte. I read in Young and Fun Talisa always requested a latte on the set when she had to work. Of course she also asked for lavender candles, fresh peonies, and organic chicken salads. If I could request something, I’d ask for a hamburger to be flown in from my favorite burger place no matter what part of the country I was in. I had been in love with those olive burgers ever since I ate one when I was on a road trip to Flint with Mom.
“Do you drink coffee?” he asked.
I wasn’t crazy about it, but it seemed like something I should like. I ordered a white chocolate mocha latte.
“If your mom asks, you’re drinking hot chocolate, okay?” he said as we walked to the table. “She always accuses me of giving into you and this is just one more—” he cut off as Mom came over.
“You and your whipped cream,” she said as Dad and I exchanged a look. I thought something with two kinds of chocolate in it would be a little sweeter, but it wasn’t bad.
Tori called when I got home and asked if I could sleep over next Friday for her birthday. I hadn’t been to Tori’s house in a long time, and I wondered if it would be weird spending the night with Tori and Ericka again. Then Tori said Ericka’s mom wouldn’t let her sleep over because they were going up north on Saturday. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad with just Tori there.
My dad seemed happy I was going over to the soccer player/brain’s house, so I pointed out I needed to buy her a birthday gift. Mom said he didn’t need to give me any money, but he took out his wallet anyway.
“Hey, remember this picture?” Dad asked pulling out a photo of me with the Easter Bunny.
“I remember buying the dress,” Mom said. “You’d only try on the ones with hats.”
“I was four,” I said, not wanting to bring up the fact if I had been born with better hair, then I wouldn’t have needed a hat.
Chapter Nineteen
I didn’t know how Yasmin McCarty had time to do her hair every day. It seemed like all the girls either already knew how to style it or had naturally perfect hair like Arianna and Devon. My hair didn’t curl well, and it fell flat after two minutes. I curled it on the first day of school, but Ericka said curly hair “wasn’t me.” She was probably right.
Peyton was also having hair problems in class.
“I hate my hair,” she said.
“Are you kidding? I’d kill for your hair. I’d love to have dark red hair, and it’s so thick—”
“It’s like wire.” She wrapped a strand around a pencil, and it was curled when she unrolled it. “See? I wish I had blonde hair like yours. It’s always silky like the conditioner commercial where the girl keeps whirling around.”
“Please, it’s albino blonde. I’d much rather have your hair,” I said.
She gave me a funny look. “Albino blonde? What are you talking about? It’s so pretty.” I told her what Ericka said.
“She’s just jealous, Landry. Who wouldn’t be with the frizz ball on her head?”
“Poor Kyle,” India said as she sat down.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“Arianna just broke up with him. She told him she just wants to be friends, but everybody knows she likes Stuart.” India got quiet when Kyle walked into the room.
Arianna and Kyle hadn’t talked in class last hour, but we did have a test. I couldn’t focus on the chapter questions, and I spent the whole class wondering whom Kyle might like next.
Ericka was already at Tori’s house when I got there for the party. I bought Tori a Crazytones CD, but I think she only pretends to like the band because all the girls on the soccer team listen to them. She put on the CD as Ericka went through her soccer pictures.
“Who’s this?” Ericka asked. “He’s hot.”
“Dave. He helps our coach out. Everybody has a huge cr
ush on him,” Tori said.
“Let me see,” I said peering over the top. “Hana told me about him.”
“He’s no Kyle,” Ericka said staring at me. When was she going to leave?
Ericka started talking about all the people she couldn’t stand at school. She was ripping Thalia apart, and when I stood up for her, she gave me the look where her pale green eyes go right through you. Then she said Hana had gained weight.
“Hana’s not fat,” I said. Ericka gave me a look, and I swear I wanted to run after those words as soon as they were out of my mouth. “Um, I like your hair, Ericka. Where did you get it done?” I asked.
“Tambylyn’s,” she said fluffing it with her fingers.
Her hair was too curly to wear it short, and it looked like a bushy triangle on her head.
“Landry, your hair looked good braided last week,” she said.
“Thanks. Peyton did it on the bus,” I said.
“It was so much prettier than just lying there like usual,” she said.
I hated how she insulted me, but she did it in a fake sweet voice so I couldn’t get mad at her. Well, at least to her face. Sometimes she said mean things I didn’t even catch until I get home, and then it was too late to do anything about it. Ericka has always gone after my hair since last summer when we played this dumb game called “I Wish.” The three of us all had to say stuff we wanted, and I wished my hair wasn’t so light and straight. I said I wanted dark, thick, wavy hair, and ever since then she’s attacked my hair. Why had I been sad when she stopped talking to me again?
Tori said Ericka’s hair always looked good, and Ericka got a stupid smirk on her face. Tori’s told me a million times she hates Ericka’s hair. Mrs. Robins brought in a cookies n’ cream ice cream cake, which I always hate because it tastes like dirt in ice cream. I kept looking at the clock and wondering when Ericka’s mom would pick her up. Tori wanted to play a card game, but Ericka wanted to play truth or dare. Ericka got her way, and she went first.
“Okay, um… truth,” she said.
I wanted to ask, “How do you get your hair so bushy?” but instead I asked if there was anybody she liked.
“Stuart Graham, but don’t tell anyone,” she said.
Stuart would laugh in her face, but I swore to keep it a secret. I thought she was stupid for telling me about Stuart seeing as she told him about my liking Kyle. I still can’t believe Tori told her my secret. I went next, and Tori asked who I had a crush on. I wasn’t about to say Kyle again, so I said Cristian and explained I met him at the mall. They both looked impressed. Then we dared Ericka to go knock on Tori’s older brother’s door. Matthew was a senior and Ericka always got nervous around him, so it was kind of funny.
Tori grabbed my arm, and we hid in the laundry room when she went upstairs. Ericka couldn’t find us and I could hear her padding around in her bare feet going, “You guys?” I started to feel bad so I walked out, but Tori didn’t come out right away. Ericka’s feelings were hurt and I should have felt bad, but I hated the way her lower lip pouted when she became “Victim Girl.”
Ericka’s dad finally came to pick her up, and Tori and I rolled out our sleeping bags.
“Ericka threw up last time we had a sleepover, and we had to sleep with all the windows open,” Tori said. “It was so cold.”
“She threw up and didn’t go home?” I asked.
“No, because it was at her birthday party,” Tori said looking embarrassed. Well, it wasn’t like Ericka had been speaking to me then, but it still hurt to know I hadn’t been invited.
“My mom thought it was dumb she didn’t invite you, but you know how Ericka gets,” she said, playing with a string on her sleeping bag.
“Yeah,” I said. Way to stick up for me, Tor. She flipped over on her stomach and started telling me about how Ericka had been driving her crazy. I snuggled down in my sleeping bag as I listened. It was just like old times with us laying on the dark carpeting in Tori’s family room and complaining about our friends. At first I was into it, but then it was, like, enough. I wondered if I was going to have to spend the rest of my weekends listening to her complain about Ericka, but never having the guts to do anything about it. I guess I must have fallen asleep while she was talking because the next morning she said something about “boring me.” Well, how much complaining can a person take? I couldn’t say I had been listening because sometimes I snore a little when I sleep. Ericka thoughtfully told me last summer.
Tori’s dad made pancakes for breakfast, which I hated. He covered it in syrup, and the maple smell made my stomach do flip-flops. I managed to get one pancake down without throwing up, and Mr. Robins offered me another one. I shook my head, and Mrs. Robins poured me a big glass of soy milk, which is the only thing which makes me feel sicker than pancakes. To make matters worse, Mrs. Robins had gotten syrup on the outside of the glass and I go nuts when my hands get sticky. It’s just the grossest feeling in the world. Tori was chowing down like she hadn’t eaten in days, while Mrs. Robins was eating a delicious looking donut.
Tori’s brother came downstairs wearing sweatpants. Matthew’s hair was all messed up, but it made him look even cuter. He gave us this head jerk like “Hey,” and stuffed a donut in his mouth.
“Anybody want the last one?” he asked. Please, give it to me. For the love of all which is good, give me the donut. I was starving for something not syrup-covered.
“Landry? Wanna split it?” he asked.
“Huh? Oh yeah, yes. Please.” He broke it in half and handed it to me. I took a bite and tried to keep the powdered sugar from giving me a mustache. I was surprised he offered it to me since I always felt invisible around him.
Tori and I went upstairs to get dressed, and I put on some lip gloss in case Matthew was roaming the hall. Tori wanted to see if her parents would drive us to the movies, but I just wanted to go home and take a shower. I told her I had to get home, and her dad dropped me off. I called Devon as soon as I had finished my shower.
“How was the party?” she asked.
“Okay, so what’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing,” she said, sounding bored. “I went to the movies last night with India. Oh, my mom needs to use the phone so I gotta get off.”
She hung up without saying goodbye. I sat on the floor and twisted my hair into little bunches. The phone rang, and I thought it was Devon calling back.
“Landry? What are you doing today?” Peyton asked.
“Nothing. Why?”
“My mom’s on a cleaning kick, and I gotta get out of here. Do you want to go to the mall? My dad will drive if your mom can pick up,” she said.
I threw on some jeans and didn’t feel like doing my hair, so I just put it in a ponytail. Peyton came to the door wearing jeans and a ponytail, too.
“Where do you want to eat?” she asked. “Tacos?” I didn’t feel like a taco, but I said it was fine. “Do you want pizza instead?” she asked, looking around the food court.
I shrugged. “If you do.” The pizza smelled so good I was almost drooling.
“You pick,” she said.
“Well, you said tacos.”
“We could eat at different places,” she said. “But I think I’ll get a slice of pizza.”
“Pizza sounds good,” I said, following her in line.
“They have cheesecake,” she said. I loved cheesecake, and we decided to get a piece. We inhaled the pizza, but we both felt stuffed halfway through the cheesecake.
“I’m going to burst,” she said leaning her head back on the booth. “But remind me to buy some of those gummy fish things before we leave.”
“How can you think about eating again?” I asked. “But I might get one of those suckers dipped in chocolate,” I said. I wiped the cheesecake off my mouth, but I didn’t bother to put on any more gloss.
We bought some candy, and she suggested we go to a furniture store. We sat in the sale section in the back where they shove all of the ugly chairs no one will buy. No one paid any atte
ntion to us back there in the corner and we ate our candy before going to the toy store. I was looking at the video games when she kicked a big beach ball down the aisle at me. We were laughing so hard people were staring.
“What do you wanna do next?” she asked.
“I don’t know. What do you wanna do?” I asked. I wanted to go to the bookstore, but I wasn’t going to bring it up in case she’d think I was a nerd or something.
“Do you want to go to the bookstore?” she asked.
We grabbed some books and magazines and went to sit on the ladybug seats in the children’s section. There was only one little girl there, but she was too busy wiping her runny nose all over her sleeve to bother us.
“There’s Yasmin,” Peyton said.
I looked up, and there she was looking like a model with her dark hair in a sleek ponytail wearing jeans and an expensive looking angora sweater. We were basically wearing the same type of outfit, but Yasmin looked like a cover model and I looked like a kid going to playgroup. I started to go back to my magazine when I heard a familiar voice. Kyle came around the corner, and reached over to take Yasmin’s hand. Oh crap.
“They got back together?” Peyton asked. “I didn’t think Kyle would get a new girlfriend so fast after Arianna.”
I nodded and hoped she couldn’t see how upset I was, but my face gave me away. Peyton suggested we get something to drink. I was going to get a white chocolate mocha, but she ordered a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and it sounded better. We sat in the café, and I told her I didn’t want anyone to know I liked Kyle — especially Devon. She swore she wouldn’t say anything.
“Kyle’s a jerk. He keeps dating girls who are all friends. It’s just weird,” she said, licking whipped cream off her upper lip.
“He’s too short for me anyway,” I said.
“And he has girl hands,” she said. She looked past me. “How does Yasmin move in those jeans? They cost a fortune, too.”
I looked over to where Yasmin was leaning against the magazine rack. Her super straight ponytail made her look at least seventeen, while mine was more like a flattened broom. We sat looking at magazines for an hour.
True Colors Page 15