Just sharing the same space with John, and having it sanctioned by Steve, albeit reluctantly, was too much. David finally allowed his intense stress to fade away under the hottest water he could stand, letting the hot stream pelt his back, working out the knots. He finally felt able to release all the inner turmoil he had been bottling up since the attack.
After toweling off and then wrapping the towel around his waist, David turned toward his locker and spotted John standing alone at his own locker. David couldn’t hold himself back. This was his chance to let that ass know exactly how he felt about him.
“What the hell are you doing here? Just because we didn’t let on who you are to the team doesn’t mean we’re going to keep quiet indefinitely; at least I sure as shit won’t keep my mouth shut.” David was pleased to note Kevin seemed to follow his lead, still damp from his own shower, standing just off to one side and behind him. Kevin had remained silent since practice had ended.
“David, don’t.” Kevin’s voice was soft, yet stern.
“Don’t what, Kevin?” David turned around, breaking eye contact with John and squaring his shoulders. “Don’t make him admit to being the biggest jackass I’ve ever met, and certainly the biggest bigot I’ve ever personally come across? Or do you mean don’t make him pay for the marks he left on my arm while restraining me as I was forced to watch his so-called friends attempt to beat the crap out of you? Or, wait a minute—this must be it, don’t make him admit they were also damn jealous that a couple of fags outran them? Which is it, Kevin—any of those, or maybe it’s all of them?”
Kevin looked down. “Just don’t say anything. He’s not worth it.”
“He’s not even good enough to keep up at practice, underlining the fact that his parents obviously paid his way onto the team after he was kicked off the team at his former school.”
“I’m as good as any of you and I can prove it.” For the first time since David stood in front of John, he responded.
David quickly turned back toward John, glaring at him. How dare he defend himself? He didn’t even have the right to be on their team. He hadn’t earned his position like the rest of the guys. “Sensitive about your lack of skills, are you? Poor baby. Too bad your parents couldn’t buy you a faster pair of legs, maybe then you wouldn’t have to fight to defend your honor. Oh wait—you won’t fight now. It’s not four against two. You’re in the minority. How does it feel, Johnny boy?” David dragged out John’s name as he taunted him. It was all David could do to keep from trying to throw a right cross to the asshole’s chin.
“Today was my first day, and for your information I plan to be a team player.”
“Like you were a team player at the exhibition meet?” David balled his fists as he stepped closer to John.
“No. That was stupid. I shouldn’t have done it, but I felt pressured.”
“No, Johnny boy. I felt the pressure.” David seriously thought of spitting into John’s face but continued to hold back when he felt Kevin’s hand on his shoulder.
“David, please take a step back.” Kevin whispered loud enough for both David and John to hear him. “He’ll need to earn the right to stay on the team. We’ll all see to that.”
“So he gets no goddamn punishment for trying to beat the crap out of us? He can just move into our space, play nice, and all is forgiven? Is that how it works?”
Kevin’s mouth opened, but another voice jumped in before he could respond. “Yes, David, we let him have a second chance to prove he’s grown and become more than a pawn influenced by some stupid, bigoted jerks at his previous school.” Steve walked slowly, with a determined step, as he approached the three young men.
“You let him on the team. You could have prevented this.” David glared at Steve.
“I know you heard Coach Wilkins talking with me before practice.”
David felt his cheeks redden. He hadn’t realized his eavesdropping had been so transparent.
“My options were limited, or should I say nonexistent.” Steve looked at John. “You’re coming on our team with a tainted record. There are some things I don’t forget, and your recent inappropriate behavior is one of those things.” Steve turned toward John, his voice firm but soft. “I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to physical aggression or emotional intimidation. If I see even a glimpse of what I saw at the meet, you’ll not only be off the team, but in the principal’s office. I won’t just leave you in the hands of Coach Wilkins.”
John nodded. “I understand.” John bit his lip before he continued. “I’m sorry about my actions.” He looked from Kevin to David and back to Kevin. “What I did was wrong.”
Steve interjected, “What you did was illegal.”
“I know. It was stupid, and I should have been strong enough to refuse to participate. In my weak defense all I can say is, I felt pressured in a way you guys are lucky not to understand.”
David wasn’t sure he could listen to any more of this asshole’s excuses. “Care to explain or would that be too taxing for you as you waffle through this less-than-heartfelt apology?”
“I am sorry.” David snorted and came close to laughing out loud at John’s lame reply.
“Both of you throw on your clothing quickly.” Steve turned away from John to direct his instructions pointedly. “As soon as you can, Kevin, I’d like you to please take David out of here. I’m going to spend a few minutes explaining the team rules to our newest member, and then I’ll be ready to leave.” Although Steve spoke to Kevin, he looked at David. “Wait for me by the car. I’ll only be ten minutes at the most.”
David glared at John and then turned to Steve. “If you’re not at the car within ten minutes, I’ll know this dick let his fists do his talking again.”
“David, Kevin, get moving.” Steve pointed to the door, giving no direct response to David’s accusation.
After changing in record time, Kevin flung his backpack over one shoulder, picked up David’s, and handed it to him. “Come on, let’s go. You’ve said enough. John knows how you feel.”
As they walked through the locker room door, leading directly outside, David stopped and turned to face Kevin. “Me? It’s pretty clear how I feel, but what I don’t understand is how you can let this happen.”
“I can let it happen because I respect Coach Garrett and know he wouldn’t have allowed John to join the team unless he had to. I can let it happen because I’m more than a gay guy. I’m a guy who wants to run, to run his way to a scholarship and not let little nothings like John Lewis get in my way.”
“He deserves to be stopped for trying to hurt you, hurt us.” David couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Everyone deserves a second chance.” Kevin’s words reminded David of their conversation prior to practice. Although he was convinced John was a complete jerk, David hated to admit, even to himself, that he hadn’t given him a chance to explain.
Nodding, David reached out to touch Kevin’s hand, hoping he wouldn’t pull away. Instead Kevin rewarded him by lacing their fingers together as they walked to the parking lot. “I don’t trust John. He’ll have to earn my trust, and it won’t be easy after what he willingly took part in at the exhibition.”
“It kind of sounds a lot like what you said to me earlier.” David didn’t like being placed in the same category as John.
Kevin stopped when they reached Steve’s car. He dropped David’s hand and gazed into his eyes. “It may sound similar, but we both know it’s not. You closed me out. You hurt me in a way John and his moronic buddies never could with their mere fists. Giving you another chance, us another chance, is far more personal and a lot more important to me. There’s no comparison, other than the words used.”
“I won’t screw up again.” David didn’t break eye contact with Kevin. “I promise.”
“I hope not.” Kevin scanned the area. David did the same, noticing football practice was just breaking up. “If it wasn’t so crowded, I’d use more than words to show you how I feel a
bout you, but we’ll have to wait on that.”
David nodded his agreement, although he was disappointed nonetheless. It was all he could do to keep from embracing Kevin and crashing their lips together once again. He hadn’t realized how much he missed their contact until that very moment, and David hoped they would have time alone in the very near future. He didn’t know how long he could wait before attacking Kevin in a way he hoped they would both enjoy.
Chapter 20
“HOW COULD you let that little prick onto the same team as my son?” Rob made no attempt to keep his voice down as he glared at Steve.
Although David knew he couldn’t keep this news from his father, he also hadn’t expected it to cause trouble between Steve and his dad.
“Rob, I don’t like this any better than you do, but my hands are tied. The head coach made it abundantly clear that if I wanted to keep the coaching job, I didn’t have a choice. Unless the kid screws up or doesn’t meet the standards expected of runners on our team, he stays.”
David was eager to make his father understand Steve’s position. “Look, Dad, I’m pretty pissed off about the situation too, but there’s no question in my mind Steve couldn’t say no to the addition of this creep to our team. Hell, I took it almost as badly as you, but Kevin made me see I was being unreasonable and had to let things play out.”
“I don’t have to be reasonable. I’m the parent around here, and your mothers have trusted me with your care. I don’t think they’d be all too happy about me allowing you to stay on a team that supports giving second chances to violent homophobes.” Dad started pacing across the living room rug. If the mood hadn’t been so intense, David would have laughed as his father resembled a stereotypical sitcom dad from decades past, waiting for the birth of a child. Unfortunately, nothing would lighten the already heated moment.
“What are you implying, Rob? Do you think I would do anything to put David in danger? You may not know this, although I thought it should have been damn obvious by now, but I love that young man as if he were my own son. But clearly, I’d better take a step back since I’m just the live-in helper and caregiver. I couldn’t possibly have the same feelings as his father.” Steve’s voice cracked. His pain and hurt, as a result of Rob’s implications, were evident.
David knew he had to do or say something before all the love they had felt hours earlier disappeared in a cloud of vicious and unchecked accusations. “Dad, stop!” At first David was surprised at the volume of his own voice, but when he saw the impact it had on his father and Steve, he didn’t regret his outburst.
Both Rob and Steve stared at David. Two sets of eyes went wide and their mouths remained closed as if awaiting a dramatic announcement.
Understanding it was up to him to break the silence, David took a deep breath to calm down, hoping his voice would remain quiet and steady after his previous reaction. “I nearly screwed up my relationship with Kevin. Hell, I don’t even know when he’ll feel like we’re really back together because he’s made it pretty damn clear he doesn’t trust me yet and isn’t willing to open up completely, protecting himself from getting hurt by me again. I’d hate to see the two of you in the same situation.”
David took a chance and walked over to the armchair adjacent to the living room sofa. “Would the two of you please sit down?” He gestured for them to take seats on the sofa. David was relieved to note they sat next to each other rather than at opposite ends. “I thought you loved Steve.” David looked at his father.
Rob pursed his lips and nodded. “Of course I love him. No matter how angry I am, that’s something that will never change. The same would be true if I were to get angry with you. I’ll always love you.”
“Good answer, Dad, but you have to back those words up with actions. You admitted why you kept your distance from Steve and me, but you’re building a massive wall with your overreaction to a completely fucked-up situation, one we have no control over.” David was relieved neither man decided to reprimand him for using bad language. It was a sign his words were respected, especially in this context, and he knew it. “Do you think Steve would ever do anything to hurt me intentionally?”
“No, he never would.” David’s father faced Steve. “I know Steve would never hurt you. It’s apparent he would never hurt either of us, and he thinks of you as a son as much as I do.” Rob shook his head. “I’m sorry. Sometimes the alarmist jackass in me takes over, and I don’t think before I blurt out something completely ludicrous.” He sighed and held Steve’s hands. “I really am sorry. I know you must have been backed against a wall, and I’d rather have you as David’s coach than anyone else. I know you’ll take care of him better than anyone else in the world, including me.”
Steve smiled for the first time since he and David had arrived home and shared their news with Rob. “I accept your apology.”
Still holding Steve’s hands, Rob turned his head toward David. “I know you think of Steve as more than a caregiver, hell, you probably think of him as more of a father than I am.” David was going to deny his father’s statement, despite its accuracy, but Rob continued too quickly for him to speak. “I’m okay with that because Steve has been the example I needed to help me become a real father to you. It wasn’t just a one-shot deal—attending the last meet. I’m going to keep learning and working to be the best father I can possibly be. Like Kevin will need to build trust with you, I know you’ll need to build trust with me as you already have with my amazing fiancé. I guess we both have to be patient with the people we love. They deserve our love and respect unconditionally, and maybe working as a team, we can learn to be better partners with a little mutual encouragement.”
David felt his shoulders relax as the tension that he wasn’t aware had built up so high drained from his body. He sat back into the cushions of the armchair and closed his eyes briefly, thinking about his father’s words and letting them sink in. After a few moments, he opened his eyes, glad Steve and his father had given him the time to reflect. “Dad, Steve, I never thought I’d say this, let alone admit it out loud, but I’m glad I finally have both of you in my life. There are things happening for me I’m fairly sure wouldn’t have if I still lived with my moms and only saw you a few times a year.”
Watching Rob’s Adam’s apple move up and down as he silently swallowed, David continued. “I didn’t think I really had a father figure to turn to for support. Sure, there were friends of my moms, but none I ever allowed to get too close. Now, well….” David trailed off, unsure if he could go on.
“David, you’re safe with us. Your feelings are safe with us.” Steve always knew what to say, and David noticed his father squeeze Steve’s hand.
“I was just going to say, it’s really cool to not only know, but to feel like I actually have two dads now.” David felt his cheeks heating up. “I know it sounds corny, but it’s true.”
“I still hate that a kid who tried to help beat the crap out of you and Kevin is on the track team, but it’s good to know you’ll have one of your fathers watching closely from the inner circle.”
“Rob.” Steve’s voice hitched.
“I think I’ll leave the two of you alone. I have some serious homework to do, and I have to think about how I can continue to find my way back onto Kevin’s good side. But like you, Dad, I’m working on wiping out my cowardly side, so I know I’ll earn his trust again.”
“In the same way I hope I did with Steve.”
Steve smiled. “You never really lost my love or trust. Like you, anger would never make me love you any less.”
“This is getting way too gross a moment for a kid to witness between his parents. I’m out of here.” David chuckled and left the room. He hesitated before walking into his bedroom and risked looking back toward the living room. As he expected, his dads were in a lip-lock that didn’t seem to be breaking apart any time soon.
Opening his door, David grinned. Not only did he theoretically have two moms and two dads…. David now felt like he did. The on
ly thing that would make everything better would be to have his boyfriend back in every way. It would be an added bonus to win a few races at the next track meet to top it all off. Passing math wouldn’t be too bad either. He snickered as he closed his bedroom door behind him and turned on his iTunes loud enough to block out any more mushy stuff his fathers might do or say.
Chapter 21
AFTER TALKING with Kevin for the third night in a row, David disconnected his cell phone, pressing the End button far firmer than was necessary. He tossed the phone on the bed. “Fuck!”
Even yelling curses at his phone wasn’t enough to stem his frustration. Not only had they had what David thought was a great conversation, but they laughed about crazy things at school and gossiped about Jesse and all the dramatics she was bringing into her life as she and Craig were about to celebrate their six-month anniversary. It was all going so well until the very end… again.
“So, Kevin, how about meeting up. I finished my homework, and it’s still early enough.” David waited a moment, but since he hadn’t heard a response from Kevin, he continued, “We could go have coffee and talk in person for a change.” He tried to keep his voice relaxed but wasn’t sure if his anxiety about asking Kevin to go out for the third time in a row wasn’t coming through loud and clear over the airwaves.
“I still have a lot of homework, David. We’ll get out soon, but tonight just isn’t right.” Kevin’s earlier chuckles and lighthearted chatter seemed to disappear in an instant.
“Sure. I understand. Homework has to come first.” David sighed. “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow. I think we’re really going to kick ass at the meet on Saturday. It’ll be strange running on an indoor track since I’ve gotten so used to running outside.”
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