Shocked, but unable to keep himself at the current pace set by Kevin, David took the initiative to pass and assume the lead. It was a seamless transition as he felt himself leaving the former leader behind. Although the fast pace made it impossible to fully pull away from the pack, David sensed his lead was not being threatened. For a moment David wanted to turn and see what had happened to Kevin. This wasn’t how the race was supposed to go, but David heard his pop’s voice in his mind. His pop. “You run the race you know you’re capable of running. You’re faster and stronger than you give yourself credit for being. Don’t let anything stop you, on the track or off. The race is yours to take. Keep running for it.” They were almost the same words Kevin had voiced before the race began, and David found them pushing him forward, faster than he had planned or expected to run.
Choosing not to look back, David pressed on. When the placard was revealed for the final lap, rather than feeling the weight of the nearly 5,000 meters he had already completed, David found the energy to move even faster. With the pace he had set himself, David wondered if he was even capable of a final kick, but he found he obviously was when he allowed his body to go.
Seeing the finish line ahead, David didn’t hear the roaring from the crowds, the calls of encouragement from Steve and Coach Wilkins, or the cheers from his teammates. All David could focus on was the line. Breaking the tape as he crossed the finish line, David’s arms automatically flew in the air, acknowledging his unexpected victory. He slowed to a jog, moving toward the inner area of the field to allow other runners to cross the finish unencumbered.
A few moments had passed when he felt one guy’s sweaty arm wrap around one of his shoulders and another around his back from the other side. Looking from right to left, he saw the faces of his two comrades in battle. On his left was John, smiling the smile of a supportive and tired friend. On the right was Kevin. He also wore a smile, but it was coupled with another emotion. David wasn’t sure if Kevin’s tired face was revealing his shock at the outcome, his disappointment, or his pride. Not sure which it was, David didn’t say a word.
The first to find his voice was John. “That was fucking amazing. Do you know what you did?”
His eyes wide, David looked from Kevin to John and back to Kevin, waiting for the answer.
“You broke the state’s 5,000 record.” Kevin huffed out the words as his breath slowly returned to normal.
“I what?” David couldn’t believe what they were telling him.
Soon the coaches were with them. Coach Wilkins pointed to the scoreboard. “Look at that time, kiddo.” David looked up, following the direction in which the head coach was pointing. “We took gold, silver, and bronze and you’re the hit of the first day. The crowd will remember this one for a long time to come.”
David looked at Steve. He gave him a huge bear hug and whispered in David’s ear. “Now I have another reason to be proud of my new son.”
David smiled. He had done something he never imagined possible—certainly not possible in his sophomore year, especially with Kevin in the race. A thought flashed through David’s mind. Kevin. Kevin wanted to impress all those scouts, and David had been the unexpected winner. David might have singlehandedly robbed his boyfriend of a scholarship all for the thrill and glory of winning one race. Had he won. Or had David just made himself the biggest loser in a way he didn’t want to contemplate but couldn’t help thinking about? Kevin’s parents, Jesse, and finally Rob all congratulated him and then moved on to Kevin to offer congrats on his second-place finish.
West Hartford High may have come out on top, but unable to read any emotions through the tired look on Kevin’s face, David was no longer sure he could feel anything but regret.
AFTER THE excitement of the awards ceremony, the boys made their way back to the locker room to shower before getting on the bus to head out for dinner and then home for a good night’s sleep before day two of the meet.
Kevin, John, David, and several other boys from the 5,000 took quick showers and dressed, all in a rush to get as much rest as they could before the next day. Several of the top finishers would participate in the 10,000-meter finale of the meet the next day, so the celebrations would have to be short and sweet.
“See you guys on the bus.” John brushed his fingers over his bronze medal, having placed it around his neck after he dressed for the trip home.
Once he left the room, David dared to look at Kevin. He took a deep breath. “Did I screw up? Have I ruined everything? I’m so sorry. I don’t know what possessed me to pass you. I shouldn’t have; I know that now.”
“Are you out of your mind?” Kevin raised his voice, expressing more of a statement than a question.
“Huh?” David wasn’t sure how to respond.
“You were so damn incredible!”
“But, Kevin—the scholarships, the scouts.” David was flustered, not sure what to say or how to explain himself.
“Holy shit! I thought you knew me better than this. Do you really think I’m so fucking shallow as to not support you when you have the biggest victory of your life?” Kevin’s glare stung. David was no longer merely flustered but had reached heights of embarrassment he couldn’t imagine.
Watching Kevin place his arm through the strap of his sports duffel, then over his shoulder, and turn toward the exit, David knew he had to act quickly if he wanted to fix this before it blew up in his face. He yelled louder than he planned. “Wait! I’m an asshole, a complete and total idiot.”
Kevin froze but didn’t turn back.
“I still can’t believe how much you love me and accept my ridiculous and unfounded insecurities. You’re so amazing, and I’m about as far from anything special as anyone can be, so I say stupid things instead of seeing what’s right in front of me.”
Speaking without turning around, Kevin asked in a monotone, “What’s right in front of you?”
David knew the answer. He always had, but let his foolish and unwarranted low self-esteem get the better of him. “What’s in front of me is the most generous, caring, loving, and hot boyfriend a guy could ever hope for. He’s always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it, and he’s always forgiven my fucked-up behavior when I didn’t deserve it.” David took a deep breath. “I hope he still has enough patience left to want me in his life despite some of the idiotic notions that spill out of my mouth. He’s as far from shallow and unsupportive as anyone could be, and I’m a huge jerk to have misjudged him in the worst possible way.”
Holding his breath, David waited. The next move was Kevin’s and David didn’t want to hope or push any further.
It took almost a full minute before Kevin moved. David felt like he had been waiting forever but still didn’t dare interrupt, allowing Kevin the time he needed to make his choice. Putting down the duffel bag, Kevin had yet to turn and face David again.
Biting his tongue to keep himself from putting his foot back into his mouth, David continued to wait. His show had ended. It was Kevin’s show now.
David watched as Kevin pressed his shoulders back, seeming to stand taller. Facing the exit, Kevin finally broke the silence. “I’ve talked about the scholarships I’m dying to get so I can go to a good school after I graduate. My track performance is my saving grace. Maybe I forgot to mention, as I got more and more focused on this meet, how important my boyfriend is to me. Without him, and his ongoing encouragement—hell, his ongoing love, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today. Happy for our team, happy for him, and happy for us because no matter what happens when the race is over, he always makes me feel like a winner.”
Kevin turned and looked directly at David. “You are my top priority. The race was important and I did break my own personal best time, but it’s all about us. When everything is completed, the only one I want to run to is you.”
Unable to resist, David strode across the room and wrapped his arms around Kevin, pressing their lips together harder and with more determination than he thought possible. Kevin
was the one he wanted to run to also. David ran faster and stronger, and learned to love without conditions, because of Kevin. He hoped Kevin could feel David’s regret for his earlier foolish assumption in their tight embrace and in his kiss.
“Wow.” Kevin pulled his head back and smiled broadly at David. “If that’s make-up making out, I can’t wait to find out, after this meet is done tomorrow, how hot make-up sex can be.”
“Except I won’t give us another reason to have to make up.” David stood still and looked into Kevin’s eyes, hoping for confirmation.
“I’m sure we can improvise without having to fight first.” Kevin grinned and winked. “Now let’s get on the bus before the coach sends out a search party.”
“Thank you, Kevin.”
“For what?” Kevin furrowed his brow.
“For forgiving this immature jerk again.”
“I can’t help myself.” Kevin squeezed David’s hand in his own. “I love this immature jerk too much not to forgive him for his dumb remarks.”
David gave Kevin a quick peck on the cheek, then keeping their hands connected, grabbed his own gym bag with his free hand and dragged Kevin out of the locker room.
Chapter 33
THE SECOND morning of the track meet started out similar to the first. The major difference was the West Hartford team’s energy level. Everyone’s enthusiasm seemed to be heightened as a result of David breaking the state record during the final event of day one.
David watched with admiration as his pop—he loved thinking of Steve in that way—donned his coaching hat to give important strategic advice to all the runners, particularly those who had succeeded in moving from the multiple heats they had to endure the day before, to the finals. Only a couple of David’s teammates had not placed high enough in their preliminaries to race the second day. He felt good knowing no one on the team chastised them for not succeeding in running their best races. It was even more heartwarming to note all those who were on the bus on the first day of the two-day event had returned. Whether it was to run another race or to cheer from the sidelines, the team was united.
Still reeling from his incredible showing, David had trouble calming down enough to get to sleep at a decent hour the previous night. When he and Kevin had gone their separate ways, all David thought of was the way they would celebrate after the meet was complete. Thinking about Kevin, David felt himself get hard. Rather than doing what he should have, imagine a visit with his moms or getting his teeth cleaned, David lay on his bed, closed his eyes, and envisioned Kevin next to him. While his small indulgence was as close to satisfying as he could hope for, the aftereffect left David wanting more, and he then remained wide awake for far too long before sleep finally took him.
During the entire hour-long bus ride, David rested his head on Kevin’s shoulder and slept. Just inhaling Kevin’s scent left David feeling serene and relaxed. The extra sleep was well worth it. When they arrived at the track and field venue, David was refreshed and ready for action—the track type. He would have to wait until the end of the day to experience any action of a more pleasurable kind with Kevin.
The team assembled in their assigned staging area. As Steve continued to advise the runners who were soon to take their positions for the morning races, Coach Wilkins came up behind Kevin, John, and David.
“You boys gave us quite a show yesterday. I hope, and expect, to see more of the same this afternoon. There’s a reason the organizers save the 10,000-meter event for the end of the meet. Spectators will stay to see people running fast over longer distances.”
“Thank you, Coach.” Kevin nodded. “We plan to give them their money’s worth.”
Coach Wilkins chuckled. “Considering the track meet is free to spectators, I’ll bet they get a hell of a lot more than that.”
John and David both laughed as Kevin continued, “I’m just glad running is still a sport that brings in so many supporters.”
“Especially when some of the participants might be candidates for the next Olympics.” Coach Wilkins patted Kevin on the back. “I know you boys won’t let me, your cheering section, or your school down.”
John wore a serious look on his face. “I hope not, sir. Thank you for giving me this chance.” Although John appeared to be speaking to the head coach, it was clear to David he was also addressing Kevin.
“I’ll be heading over to join Coach Garrett and leave you boys to focus and think about the race you want to run later today, and how to achieve it. West Hartford High and your community are proud of you all.” Coach Wilkins left to join the rest of the team, still huddled around Steve.
“Wow. That was intense.” David broke the awkward silence left in their head coach’s wake.
“We’re going to take this afternoon’s race, just like yesterday.” Kevin stood tall and sounded confident.
“Today’s the day those assholes from my old school will compete against us with their best runners. They’re good.” John bit his lip.
Kevin was the team captain and showed it through both his self-assured body language as well as in his words. “They’re good, but we’re better… and we want it more.”
“So this is the day we really do run for it all.” David took a deep breath. The meaning of those words meant more today, despite David’s record-breaking win in the 5,000. He had achieved so much and had so much still to go for. David wanted this more than he’d realized. He wasn’t everyone’s buddy, sidekick, afterthought. David liked having an exciting and meaningful life of his own.
Looking toward the bleachers surrounding the track, David spotted his dad walking over to his pop. Although he was too far away to get an inkling of what transpired, David watched his dad whisper something into Steve’s ear. His pop smiled in response and looked at his dad, nodding. It didn’t matter what they said, but somehow Rob had figured out how to be himself and build his life outside work. His dad had become the father he wanted and yearned for. Both his fathers were inspiring, each in his own way.
Hearing the announcer call the first runners to head to the starting line, Kevin, John, and David walked back to their team to lend their support. This was about all of them, not just the long-distance runners. David was part of something important, and he was proud of all his friends. He was part of a great track team from a school where intolerance was unacceptable. He was part of a relationship with a guy he cared more about than he could have ever imagined. David was part of a family—a much bigger and more fulfilling family than he could have hoped for.
“What are you all smiley about?” Kevin nudged David’s shoulder as they stood along the sidelines awaiting the start of the race.
“Nothing. Just glad to be here.” Although he was completely comfortable in his skin, feeling none of the old insecurities, there was no reason to get all sappy by sharing his private thoughts. It was enough he felt them; that would do for now.
AS THE time grew ever closer for the 10,000-meter race, David looked up at the stands one last time, knowing his event would be called soon. He grinned from ear to ear, easily spotting his now perpetually present father alongside Jesse and her parents.
Scanning further, he saw the group of college scouts, each still seated holding their tablets, and seeming to continually be taking notes. David imagined they were marking those runners they wanted to watch closely and recording their times. He also knew they could be noting those runners who didn’t deliver expected successes on the track. For a moment, David shivered, thinking he might lose all he had achieved the previous day if he didn’t perform up to par during the 10,000.
When the participants were called, David walked with his teammates to the prerace staging area. He hoped Kevin would show everything he had and John wouldn’t disappoint, yet unlike his earlier strategies, David intended to race for the gold. He would use the plan to follow behind Kevin, but if he felt the urge to pass, David knew he would. There would be no more spontaneous decisions. He was running to win, not to place second.
It wasn’t hard to spot the goons who had roughed up Kevin the previous fall. They couldn’t keep from pointing and laughing as they stared at the West Hartford team’s runners. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were saying, but rather than making David recoil, he wanted to crush those assholes. David hoped to embarrass them, and if possible put them to shame in front of their friends, family, and coaches. He knew it wasn’t PC to think that way, but as long as he didn’t share it with anyone, David was happy to use his anger and disgust for those bigots to fuel his run.
Hearing his pop calling out some final strategic pieces of advice and then yelling for them to bring it all on and take home victory, David waved and smiled, acknowledging his new father and coach’s words. Coach Wilkins bellowed, “Do me proud, boys, do us all proud!” David laughed. The head coach fit every stereotype of a gung-ho leader, yet David had noticed and appreciated that he was fair. Fair and unbiased attitudes were two of the things he was learning to thrive on in his new town. David hoped it would be something he could continue to count on in the future.
Positioning themselves at the starting line, the runners were all prepared. This was a race of strategy, speed, and endurance. Only those with the complete package would win. David could still hear the dickheads from Trumbull chuckling and mumbling as the racers assembled. One of them muttered, “Faggots,” under a phony cough. David took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and added the word to the fuel he was storing for the race.
Run for It All Page 19