I’d been staring over his shoulder, but his words pulled my attention back to his face. Was he being serious?
When he saw he had my full attention, he started speaking again. “When we went to the Rock and they wouldn’t give you dinner that night, the way you sat there, shoulders back and eyes twinkling as you stared at the stars as if you didn’t need anyone, I knew you were someone extraordinary.
“The way you’d fight with me and fight beside me and never back down, no matter what I said. Even the way you can’t wait to get your bacon in the morning, and sometimes the afternoon.”
“But if that’s all true, then how come—”
“I turned you down that night in my room? Because you didn’t know what I was, and until you did, I felt like I couldn’t go any further than that. And I wanted you to be ready. I wanted it to be your choice. Not something you were jumping into because you had no idea what you were even doing or because you felt you owed me a debt.”
“But why would you choose to be with me?”
He cupped my head in his hands. “There’s never been a choice involved. You were the one. You’ve always been the one and you always will be.”
I pulled him to me, covering his mouth with mine. I didn’t need to hear anything else.
Dax loved me.
Chapter 33
I was curled into Dax’s side, my head on his chest, his arm around me. If I could’ve stayed like that forever, I would’ve even given up bacon. But I thought I’d get more than a night, until I heard the knock at the door.
“Dax, a message came,” Tank said immediately following the knock.
Dax paused a second before he got up from the bed as I wished it had come tomorrow instead. He strode across the room, threw on a pair of pants, and went to the door.
He shut the door and opened the letter.
He held it out to me, and I waved my hand as I sat up. “Just tell me when.”
He crumpled the message and threw it in the corner. “Tomorrow.” He walked over and leaned his forearm on the post of the bed. “You ready for this?”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t sound ready.” He stood still, as if he were waiting for me to spill what was bothering me.
A couple of months ago, I wouldn’t have.
“If we succeed, it’s hard not to think of what might happen to…” I didn’t want to finish, as if I said it aloud, I was committing her murder or something.
“Your mother?”
“Yeah,” I said as I pulled my knees up to my chest.
He went over and opened the closet and retrieved a fancy bottle of what appeared to be whiskey.
“What? You’ve been holding out on the good stuff?”
He handed the bottle over, and I pulled the cork out and took a swig. I didn’t need to wonder why he suddenly thought I’d need good whiskey.
He didn’t have to say he knew something—it was written all over his face.
He hadn’t looked this bad since right before he’d told me that I’d have to leave the Rock because the people there would turn on me.
I felt like I’d just taken a swig of acid, instead of whiskey, which was burning its way through my gut. I toyed with the idea of saying nothing for a moment, leaving whatever he was thinking unsaid. But I didn’t think he was going to let whatever it was go. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He didn’t react immediately, and I could see him weighing his actions, or maybe measuring me? “Whatever it is, I’ll handle it.” I would. I felt like I could handle anything right now, and I’d survive because I wasn’t giving up what I had easily.
He either heard the strength in my voice or trusted what I said, because he nodded and went back to the closet as he spoke. “We’ve never talked much about how I got into the Cement Giant that day.”
“No, we haven’t.” I watched as he opened the door again and knelt down in front of it. There was a trunk on the bottom. I hadn’t paid much attention to until now as I watched him spin a dial around a lock.
“I had some of the guards paid off. I’d gotten a copy of your file from the place before I set a foot inside. It had most of your information, including things about your parents.” He opened the trunk, and I saw stacks of papers besides piles of money, some of it Newco currency.
As he shuffled through the papers, I moved toward the edge of the bed where I could see better. Then I got up and threw my clothes on when I was too anxious to wait.
I’d told him I was fine, that I could handle it. It was true. The way I saw it, there wasn’t a ton I could do about it anyway. You handled what came your way because you didn’t have a choice. How I handled it was still up for debate. Not embarrassing myself in front of this man who I knew I loved, well, that would be a nice start.
Dressed, I finally settled on sitting on the bed again. This way, if whatever I found out was too bad, it wouldn’t look like I was falling onto it later if my knees went out.
He turned and handed me the file. “This is it.”
I took it and held it with both hands but didn’t open it.
“Do you want a few minutes?” he asked, but I had a feeling he wanted to stay with me. If he’d wanted to leave, he would’ve just done so.
I looked up at his strong, handsome face. He never crumbled. He’d never break. The thought of this strong man watching as I broke down in front of him… No. I didn’t want him to see me that way. But the walls of my past had stolen too much from me already. I wouldn’t let it drive a wedge between what I was building with Dax now. I’d hold it together, one way or another.
“No.”
I flipped open the file, knowing that Dax had read this all before he met me. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.
A moment of instant relief came as I realized this wasn’t the file that the Dark Walkers had kept on me. It couldn’t be. There were too many gaps. The long sessions with Ms. Edith were missing, and various other interrogations I’d gone through at the hands of Dark Walkers were all missing too.
On page four I read:
Patient’s parents declined visitation.
Nothing new there. That wasn’t what he was worried about. I’d known that my whole life.
I scanned through a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo about relinquishing parental rights and custody, and then two signatures below.
All the way at the bottom of page nine, there were “comments.”
There it was, the thing he hadn’t known how to tell me. In black bold script in my mother’s hand, it read:
We believe it to be best that Dahlia remain with you until the time you see fit to release her, if ever. Her delusions are a destructive force, and we give you full authority to do whatever it is you deem fit to protect our society from her.
She’d told them, almost encouraged them, to kill me. Maybe the Dark Walkers had applied pressure? No. The Dark Walkers had wanted me alive. This was all her.
I folded the file closed and held it out to Dax. He took a step closer and took it from my hand, his eyes studying my face. I held it together better than I’d thought I would. Maybe because it wasn’t that much of a shock. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t drowning in sadness.
He grabbed my hand. “Come on,” he said as he tugged me along.
I followed him down the stairs and out onto the back lawn, where there were chairs set up around where they’d build the fire for barbecues sometimes.
I sat as he built the fire up, and when it was blazing strong, he tossed the file in the center of it.
“Don’t you need those?” I asked. He’d held on to them, so there must’ve been some purpose.
“No. I was holding on to them for you. There’s nothing in there I need.” He sat down beside me. “It doesn’t matter what was in those files.”
I tried to smile, but I didn’t have the heart or strength after what I’d read.
He reached out and took my hand, and I loved the way his grip felt sure and steady. “I’m your family. You aren’t alone
anymore.”
Chapter 34
I’d felt like I was preparing for a funeral all morning, and in a way, I was. If things went well, it would be Zarrod’s.
Everything soft was stored away until I got past this day.
Dax was in war mode when I saw him. I gave him a nod before I climbed onto the bike.
“You ready?” he asked, turning his head slightly toward me.
I settled in and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I’ve been ready to kill this man since before I knew his name.”
“I’m glad you’re back.” His hand squeezed mine.
“Back?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know what to do with that peacekeeper person who was pretending to be you,” he joked.
A little laugh bubbled up in my chest. “Trust me, it was a struggle for me, too.”
“We killing this sucker today or what?” Lucy asked as she pulled her bike up next to us.
Tank, who was on her other side, was shaking his head, as if to say, Here she goes running her mouth again.
A final look around to make sure the other guys with us were ready, and we took off.
* * *
We stopped at a crossroad, just under three hours later. It was the shortest trip yet, and the proximity to the farm made my hackles rise. Whatever I’d led him to was pretty far outside of Newco by now.
Croq was in the distance, waiting beside the car, and the armed guards were lined up in front of him, waiting for something to go wrong.
I got off the bike without saying anything to Dax. What was there to say? It was nice knowing you and I hope we make it out in one piece? Have a great life, and if I never see you again, I’m sure there’s a nice girl out there for you?
No. The stuff that mattered, the feelings that burned in my chest for him, he already knew, and I wouldn’t mar them with some rushed words under these horrible conditions. To me, words of love meant more when they were given on a beautiful sunny day and no one might be dying.
I began on my way forward, knowing that this time, Dax would be following. That was the plan. He’d hang back until they got comfortable, leave Croq with Tank, and then turn into the beast and pick up our trail. Then together, we’d kill Zarrod.
Only problem now was getting past Croq. The magic he’d shared wouldn’t let me do anything that might cause him harm. Swapping places with me now was an iffy prospect when I knew I wanted to kill Zarrod.
I sought out the car and locked on to my target. That would be my workaround for any potential problem with the magic. I wasn’t swapping with Zarrod right now. I was getting to the car.
As I zeroed in, the steps came easier and easier, and I knew I was going to be able to get past this first hurdle.
Croq nodded as I approached him. The closer we got, the more his feet started dragging. It looked like he was purposefully trying to force himself forward, but his body was disagreeing with his destination.
Instead of walking past me, Croq stopped dead in front of me.
“Fuck!” he said, at not quite a scream but louder than talking. “This isn’t going to happen today.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I glanced back at Dax. He was already moving forward, and I didn’t think there would be any stopping him.
“What’s he planning?” It was the only explanation available, damn double crosser. Okay, I might’ve been planning something too, but that didn’t make Zarrod any better.
“Because of what you looked like last time. I can’t do it.” He pointed at me. “It’s your fault.”
Dax stepped slightly in front of me, between me and the Newco soldiers, who were already raising their guns, as things didn’t seem to be going in the natural progression.
“I’m fine,” I said to Croq.
“No, you weren’t fine, and now I can’t do this, so I won’t be fine either.” The glib and relaxed Croq was gone, and I realized his life might be at stake.
“Give us a minute,” I said to Croq as me and Dax stepped to the side. “I could go alone.”
Dax had his back to the guards but his head slightly turned to them, as if he were listening for someone to move in closer, or the click of a gun. “No, you can’t. You walk in there when we don’t have a hostage and Zarrod will know something’s up. The only thing you do is send the message that we’re desperate to see him, and then he’ll start wondering why. That’s if he’ll even meet you now.”
“If I don’t go now, we might never get another chance at him.” I’d finally decided I had to kill the bastard, and now I couldn’t even get close. It was almost enough to make me stamp my feet.
Dax stepped a little closer, and I wondered if he’d heard something before he said, “We don’t have a choice.”
“What about the farm? You know he’s going to come.”
“Then I build another one. The farm is replaceable.”
He was willing to lose his farm for me. He really did love me. He had to. It was the only explanation for it.
“As much as I like this newfound softness, I need the killer back until we get out of this,” he said, but then he moved and his arm accidentally brushed mine.
I shook myself, trying to lose the doe eyes I apparently had right now. He did have a point. This really wasn’t the time to turn an emotional corner and become all soft.
As it was, I could see the guards staring at us and could almost feel the itch in their trigger fingers. “We might get a fight sooner than planned.”
“Won’t be my first.”
“Now what?” I said, knowing we were about as free as flies in honey.
“We get on the bike and ride like hell.”
I tightened my ponytail and held up a hand to Croq, as if asking for another minute, when I really wanted to throw off the guards.
Dax wasn’t looking around, but I knew he was still listening to everything. “When I give the signal, our people in the forest will open fire and give us as much cover as they can. Stay low and get to the bike. You’re going to ride the bike and I’m going to get on the back so I can take the brunt of the shots.”
“I almost drove into a tree last time.” I might’ve fidgeted.
“Your control has come a long way. Just aim for home.” He looked at me with such confidence that he had me believing I could do this.
“It might be a rough ride.”
He smiled. “Rough isn’t dead. You ready? Because the guards are losing their patience, and one of them is calling Zarrod right now.”
“Let’s go.”
He nodded, and then I watched as Dax lifted a hand and ran it through his hair. The sound of bullets whizzing through the air exploded around us. I made a dash for the bike as I wondered what would’ve happened if he’d ever just had an itch.
I focused on getting to my target as the sound of shooting increased. I stumbled as a bullet grazed my leg, but was able to get to the bike. I felt Dax get on behind me, wrapping himself around me as I revved the engine as quick as I could, not liking the feeling of being a sitting target.
The bike exploded out from underneath us and I gripped the handles as we shot off.
When the jagged spikes shot up out of the dirt, I didn’t have time to stop the bike, but I tried. I jerked the wheel to the right and we went sliding.
* * *
I woke up with my wrists and ankles bound. There was a rope across my chest and stomach, securing me to a tree, and I wasn’t the only one. I looked down at the arm that was brushing mine and saw Croq’s shirt. He’d thought his goose was cooked if we hadn’t swapped, and looked like he was right.
There were about ten guards around us. Not a single one was a Dark Walker. I couldn’t believe I’d been laid low by a bunch of regular ole humans. Where was Dax? I couldn’t remember anything past the slide. I was a bit banged up with some scraps and my pants were torn, felt like there might be an egg on my head, but if I’d made it, he must’ve. But then where was he?
I tried to get my bearings but didn’t recognize the
place. How far had I been moved? Judging from the position of the sun, it couldn’t have been more than an hour or two.
“ETA forty minutes,” I heard one guard say to the other before he glanced over at where we were. He didn’t keep his eyes on me, though.
I slid my knees up slowly, watching to see how closely they were paying attention.
“Took you long enough,” Croq whispered beside me.
“What happened to Dax?”
“I don’t know. I got dragged away before I saw.”
I pressed my head back against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes. He was alive. I’d know if he was dead. Somehow I’d feel it. I would. My mind started to wander to what-ifs, and I dragged it back to now. I had to get out of here and find him.
“What do you know?” I whispered.
“They’re waiting for a truck. Your people in the woods took out the tires on the other truck. The one truck left that brought us here must’ve taken a hit to the gas tank, because it stalled out and stranded us. And now I’m as screwed as you are, because today was blown and Zarrod isn’t going to care why I couldn’t do it, and I have nothing left to give them in return this time.”
If I could’ve seen his face, I was pretty sure it would’ve been pouting.
“Well, suck it up and help me figure out how we’re getting out of this,” I said as I tried to assess all the soldiers for weaknesses.
“At least last time I got in trouble I had something to give them,” he continued.
“What did you have to give them?”
“That you’d found a place to heal your friend. They’d suspected but hadn’t been totally sure you could do it. They’d spent years trying to teach you had to draw maps that would lead them there and teach you the stars, thinking that would help you give them a location. They’d started to think you couldn’t do it until I told them. Now I’ve got nothing.” He said “nothing” loud enough that one of the soldiers glanced over.
The Magic: Wilds Book Four Page 21