by RM Johnson
Sitting out here in front of this man’s house made me start to wonder why he would leave the situation he had. Not that Faith wasn’t worth it, but he had a wife, and a couple of kids, boys I think Karen said. What happened to make him want to leave? How did his wife compare with Faith? Suddenly I had to know the answer to that, I had to get a glimpse of her.
I thought about continuing to sit out there, hoping that maybe she would come out if she was in the house, or that she would drive up if she wasn’t, but I didn’t feel like waiting.
I pulled the key from the ignition, got out of my car, and slowly moved around it toward the house. I walked up to the fence, pulled down on the lever, and thankfully, it was not locked.
I whistled a couple of times, making sure there wasn’t some bloodthirsty rottweiler laying low waiting to attack. Then I went up the stone path to the front door of their house.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought as I climbed the final step. In front of the door, I raised a finger, preparing to ring the doorbell, when I stopped myself. What if the wife didn’t come to the door, but Mr. Robinson himself? Would he look at me, a strange expression on his face, then take a deeper look, finally recognizing me? And what would happen if he did that? Would he shut the door in my face, or upon seeing him, would I go crazy, push my fist through that screen door, grab him by his throat, and try to break his neck.
I turned around, looked at my car, and thought about walking back down those steps, and just driving away. But then I thought, to hell with that. Yes, I was intruding a bit by trying to get a look at his wife, but that was nothing in comparison to the intrusion he made upon my once future wife. I turned back around and rang the bell. I waited a moment, and then after no answer, rang it again. Still there was nothing. I peered through the square glass in the door, but saw nothing but an empty hallway.
No one was home. I turned, about to go back down the steps, when I heard the door opening behind me. A beautiful, dark-brown-skinned woman with long curly hair and green eyes was at the door.
She was wearing a faded green flowered print spring dress that brought out both the color of her eyes and the shape of her body. I was caught off guard with how beautiful she was, and for a moment, I couldn’t say anything after she said, “Hi. Can I help you?”
I stuttered, staring into her eyes, gazing at her rich, dark complexion, then said, “Uhhhh, is Max home? I’m looking for Max.”
“Max? No, I’m sorry, there’s no Max who lives here. Are you sure you have the right address?”
I dug out the little piece of paper I had written this address on, and glanced down at it. “Uh, yeah—7326 South Oakley, right?”
“Yeah, this is it, but still, there’s no Max,” she said, smiling sadly.
I was about to turn around and leave, feeling satisfied, no, actually privileged that I was able to lay eyes on this woman, when she said, “You have a number where you can call him?”
“Uh, yeah. You know I do,” I said, caught off guard again. “But I don’t have my cell phone with me. Would you mind terribly if I um …” and I made a gesture with my hand like it was a phone, putting it up to my ear.
“No, sure. That’s no problem,” the woman said, opening the door, and welcoming me in.
I stepped inside, walked down the hall, and now I really couldn’t believe what I was doing. I came to look at the man’s house, then wanted to see his wife, and now I was walking through his home. I took in everything around me, the pictures of Gary, his wife, and his two sons, hanging from the walls, and sitting on the mantel. Judging from those pictures, they all seemed so happy. Gary looked like the model husband and father. Oh, how pictures can lie, I thought.
The house was expensively and tastefully decorated with fine furniture and beautiful paintings. Gary must’ve been making nice loot, I thought, considering his wife stayed at home.
“This is a beautiful place you have,” I said to her, as she pointed me to the phone.
“Thanks. If you would’ve come by a week ago, it could’ve been yours. It’s sold.”
“I saw that. Why are you leaving, if you don’t mind me asking? Those cold Chicago winters?”
“No, we just think we’d benefit from a change of scenery,” she said, looking somewhat melancholy. “Get a fresh start.”
I wanted to know who “we” were, but I figured she was referring to her two sons, considering Gary was leaving this woman for Faith. What a shame, I thought.
“Where are you guys going?” I asked, and only after asking it, I realized how nosy I was being. “I’m sorry. I’m prying. Never mind,” I said, picking up the phone. “You were kind enough to offer your phone to me, and now I’m talking your head off.”
“No, it’s quite all right. I don’t mind. Sometimes I get lonely sitting around the house all day waiting for the kids to come home,” she said, brushing a hand over her curly hair. “We’re relocating to D.C. My husband put in for a transfer out there. I went to college there. I think it’ll be nice for the kids.”
“So your …” and I had to stop myself from asking if her husband was going with her, because I know that was what she just said. But how could that be the case if he was marrying Faith?
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“Oh, I was just saying, so you’re from D.C.?”
“No. I just went to school there; Howard. I was born here. But let me let you make your phone call, because now I’m starting to talk your head off.” She turned to leave the room, and although I didn’t want to, I couldn’t help but take a look at her behind as she walked away. Very nice, I thought. Very, very nice.
After leaving a message on my own voice mail for the fictitious Max I was looking for, I walked back toward the living room. She was there, standing, thumbing through an Essence magazine.
“So thanks a lot for letting me use the phone.”
“No problem. Did you find Max?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
“No, no. But I left a message on his machine. And thanks again.” I extended a hand to her, for what reason I don’t know. Was this a situation where you would shake hands? Anyway, she took my hand with one as soft as a baby’s belly, and shook it.
“Lottie,” she said, smiling that beautiful, gleaming smile of hers. “Lottie Robinson.”
“And I’m … Jay. Jay … Atkins,” I said, choosing not to tell her my real last name. We stood there, still shaking, looking into each other’s eyes, smiling weirdly, and I felt compelled to say, “You have really pretty eyes.”
Lottie smiled shyly, lowered her head, and slowly pulled her hand away.
“What, oh, I’m sorry. I don’t normally do that. I mean, I shouldn’t have …”
“No, it’s okay, Jay. It’s nothing that you did wrong,” she said, still looking down, occasionally glancing up at me. “It’s just when you’ve been … um, well. It’s just when you’ve been married so long, you kind of get used to not getting compliments, and when one does pop up, it kinda takes you by surprise, that’s all.”
“So, I haven’t offended you?”
“No, no, not at all,” she said, still smiling, shyly. “That actually made my day.”
“Well, good,” I said, smiling widely, feeling proud that I was able to do that. “Well, I guess I ought to be going now,” I said, and the words seemed to shake her a bit, as if she thought I was going to stay there forever.
“Uh, yeah. That’s right. Let me show you to the door.”
And she did. She opened it and stood there by it, just looking at me as though I was supposed to kiss her goodbye or something. I know that wasn’t what she was thinking, or expecting, but it just felt that way. There was an awkwardness about the moment, like we had just gone on our first date.
“Well, nice meeting you, and nice talking to you.”
“Yeah, likewise.”
“And who knows,” I said, making an effort to store away as much of her appearance in my memory as possible. “Maybe we’ll bump into e
ach other again.”
“Yeah, who knows,” she said, looking like she doubted it very seriously.
27
For the past week, Jayson had been acting really strange, like they were back in a relationship again. All right, she thought to herself, that wasn’t fair. Maybe he had reason for behaving like that. Maybe it had something to do with the two times she’d slept with him that night last week. But she couldn’t believe he’d misconstrued friendship sex at a moment of desperate need, for love sex.
He was hurting, beyond hurting, and she couldn’t take it, and she would’ve done anything, everything, to make him feel better, and that’s what she’d done, but she hadn’t expected things to go the way they’d been going.
For the past week, he had been calling and coming down to her place every night after she got off work. When she answered the door and let him in, he would always take her in a tight hug and kiss her on the lips before walking in.
“So what are we doing tonight?” Jayson had asked last night.
“I didn’t know we were doing anything. I didn’t know we had plans. Besides, we’ve been out practically every night this week, and I’m kinda tired.”
“All right then, tomorrow,” Jayson said, smiling, taking her face in his palms, and kissing her on the lips again. “I guess I have some things I need to do anyway.”
She didn’t have the heart to tell him that she was really going over to see Gill—to try and decide what she was going to do with him. He had been calling like crazy as well, and Asha thought it was funny. Everyone was calling her home, trying to speak to her, except the person she really wanted to hear from. Angie. It had been a week, and nothing. And for her last two appointments, she didn’t show. As Asha waited at work, in her massage room, she worried that she might have ruined everything with this woman. Day and night Asha thought about calling her, but she knew that would only push Angie away more. It was the reason she was staying away now. Why hadn’t she just let things take their course and not forced the issue? Everything would’ve worked out okay, just like Angie said, and things would’ve still been fine between them. Just when they were seeming to really start getting close, Asha had forced them back twenty steps by trying to catapult them forward ten. And now, it was really starting to hit her, realizing just how stupid she had been.
She had to rectify this, Asha thought as she hurried to the phone. She had to fix this before she lost the woman she was falling in love with. Asha dialed Angie’s number as fast as her fingers would allow. It rang and rang while Asha stood there beating herself up, knowing that Angie wouldn’t pick up the phone, because that would give Asha the opportunity to apologize to her, and Asha knew, after her behavior, she didn’t deserve that opportunity.
The phone stopped ringing, there came the usual clicking, indicating that the call was being transferred to voice mail.
“It’s me, Angee. Sorry I can’t take your call. But drop a message in 1,2,3.” The beep sounded.
Asha stood there, unable to speak, wondering if she should just forget about trying to apologize, because it was probably too late, or speak her piece there, because she knew she would get no other opportunity.
“Angie,” Asha said, her voice soft, uncertain. “This is Asha. You missed your last two appointments, and I know it’s because you don’t want to see me anymore. I know I messed up by demanding everything right here, right now, when you were trying to take it slow so that it would work. Angie,” Asha said, swallowing hard, trying not to let her emotion be heard over the phone. “I am so sorry for pushing you faster than you wanted to go. I still want this with you. I just sometimes get worried that, maybe … that maybe … I don’t know. Just call me back,” Asha said, desperately. “Yeah, just call me back, and I’ll make everything up to you, and we’ll try it again, and I swear I won’t ever …” A beep sounded, cutting her off.
Asha lowered her head, hanging up the phone. Angie wouldn’t listen to the message, and if she did, it wouldn’t make one bit of difference, Asha thought to herself. But Asha needed to finish telling her how sorry she was. She was about to lift the phone again, when someone said, “You swear you won’t ever do what?”
Asha spun around and saw Angie standing there just inside her room. “How much of that did you hear?”
“All of it. You swear you won’t ever do what, Asha?” Angie asked again, closing the door behind her.
“I swear I won’t ever push us faster than we need to go, demand things that we don’t necessarily need just now,” she said, walking quickly over to Angie and stopping just in front of her, wanting to hug her, to kiss her, but not knowing if she still had that right.
“Angie, I don’t want us to end.”
Angie looked as though she was thinking over what Asha just said, and then she said, “Asha, I’ve been really thinking and—”
“Angie, don’t say it, if it’s what I think you’re going to say,” Asha said, moving very close to Angie. “I’m sorry about last week, and we can take it however fast or slow you want to, just don’t leave.”
Angie shook her head, seeming sorry in advance for what she was about to say. “Asha it’s just that …”
Asha wrapped her arms around Angie’s waist, placed her cheek upon Angie’s, and whispered in her ear. “You don’t want this anymore? You don’t want me?”
“No. It’s not that. I just think …”
“Don’t think, Angie,” Asha said, kissing her softly on the ear. “Do what you feel. You don’t feel this?” Asha touched the tip of Angie’s earlobe with the tip of her tongue. She felt a shiver run through Angie’s body, felt Angie’s arms find their way around her waist.
“Why don’t you think about it. Just don’t say no, Angie,” Asha said, taking Angie’s earlobe into her mouth, sucking on it. “Will you do that?” And then Asha gently eased her warm, wet tongue into Angie’s ear. She felt Angie’s knees weaken, and then Angie turned her face to Asha.
“Okay, I’ll think about it,” Angie said, kissing Asha.
“I missed you so much,” Angie said, as they continued kissing.
“I missed you too,” Asha said, pulling Angie toward the table, helping her up, unable to pull her lips from Angie’s as she sat up there.
“I kept telling myself how crazy I was to let you walk out of here,” Asha said, as she pulled Angie’s Tshirt up and over her head, exposing her bare torso. “I kept telling myself that if I ever saw you again, I would make you feel how much you mean to me.” And now Asha was unzipping the skirt Angie was wearing, sliding it down from her hips. “I was hoping so much that I’d see you again, and now you’re here,” Asha said, her tone feverish, taking a moment to savor the sight of Angie’s caramel thighs as they spread out across the table. And then she reached around and grabbed the waistband of the thong Angie was wearing and slid that off.
Angie was sitting in front of Asha naked, and Asha placed both her warm palms on Angie’s knees and gently started to pull them apart.
“What are you doing?” Angie said, seeming in a dreamy state, her eyes partly open.
“I think you know exactly what I’m about to do,” Asha said. “Have any objections?”
Angie slowly shook her head, not saying a word.
Asha slid a hand up Angie’s thigh, feeling how increasingly warm it got as she moved farther in between her legs. She touched Angie with a single finger, watching her eyes roll back in her head, feeling how wet she had become, and then Asha lowered herself to her knees. Asha urged Angie’s legs open just a little wider, when all of a sudden, the door swung open.
“Asha, you got some clean towels in—oooohhhhhh!” Big Les howled, her eyes popping damn near out of her head.
Asha leapt up from her knees, throwing Angie’s skirt in her lap, trying to cover her up, as if it wasn’t too late to stop Les from seeing all that was about to happen. But Asha knew there was no hope. Judging by the looks on Les’ face, first, shock, then delight, Asha knew she had been found out.
�
��I was just massaging my client,” Asha quickly offered.
“Don’t worry, Asha. I know exactly what you were doing,” Les said, winking. And before she closed the door, she said, “I’m sure I’ll rap to you later.”
28
After being busted by Les, Asha had Angie quickly grab her things and get out of there.
“Are you going to be all right?” Angie said, turning to her, even though Asha was steadily trying to push her toward the door and out of the room.
“I hope so. I don’t know.”
“You call me and let me know what happens. You hear me?”
Asha nodded her head and opened the door for Angie, quickly closing it behind her. She fell back against it, knowing that she was in a world of trouble and had no way of getting out of it.
For the rest of the day, Asha tried to pretend nothing had happened, as though Les hadn’t seen anything. Asha took the rest of her clients, trying not to let them see that something was really bothering her. During the course of the day, she tried her best to steer clear of Les, but that was impossible. When she did see Les, Les didn’t say a word, really didn’t even acknowledge Asha, which she thought was strange. Maybe Les didn’t plan on making a big deal of this after all. Maybe, after seeing how Asha had stood up to her a couple of days ago, she had decided that Asha shouldn’t be messed with.
Asha closed her eyes, praying that was the case as she finished massaging her last client.
“All right, Belinda, that’ll do it for today,” Asha said, pushing her cart of oils and other bottles aside.
“Thanks, Asha. I’ll see you next time,” Belinda said, climbing down from the table, and walking toward the changing room.
Asha went over to a chair and fell into it, wondering what she would do when Les finally approached her. What would she say? The time would come, Asha knew. All that nonsense about Les not bothering her, she knew that was garbage. Before the day was out, Asha knew Big Les would be up in her face, gloating at the fact that she had something on her.