Fly, Butterfly

by Annicken R. Day

  As I walked through the entrance of the iconic hotel, I smiled at the uniformed doormen and continued toward the restaurant, located in the heart of the main lobby. The dining area was beautifully decorated and packed with people. Archibald Hatchett, or Archie, as he now insisted I should call him, was already there. He stood up and waved as I entered the room. When I arrived at the table, I noticed a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket on a stand waiting for us. Archie, whom I still preferred to think of as Mr. Hatchett, was wearing a dark suit with a red handkerchief decorated with white snowflakes sticking out of the breast pocket.

  “Elegant,” I said.

  “Thanks to my wife.” He laughed.

  As the waiter popped open the bottle of champagne, I sat down and looked around the crowded room with all the dressed-up people and the cheerful atmosphere. Apparently, we were not the only ones with something to celebrate.

  After the waiter had filled up our glasses and left with a polite bow, Mr. Hatchett raised his glass, and I followed his example.

  “Cheers to you, Maya,” he said and smiled. “Three years ago, I suspected you would be great, but you have indeed exceeded all of my expectations.”

  “Thank you—and the very same to you!” I said.

  It was a lovely dinner. We covered the gamut, discussing business, philosophy, politics, culture, and life itself. However, every time Mr. Hatchett started talking about the long-term plans for TechnoGuard, I felt strange. For some reason I struggled with being excited about it—or even seeing myself as part of it.

  When I had accepted the offer to become CEO of TechnoGuard, I thought of it as a three-year plan. I had never been able to see beyond that. And now, when we had passed the three-year mark, I had a strange sense of completion. Even though I knew there was still a lot to be done, I wasn’t sure whether it should be me doing it. I hadn’t said anything about this to Mr. Hatchett, of course. I didn’t even know what to say or where these thoughts and feelings came from.

  Of course, it didn’t make sense. Things were going well. I enjoyed my job. I was content with my life and proud of the things I had achieved. Business woman of the year—who would have guessed?

  Still, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that there was something else I was supposed to do now.

  When we had finished our dinner and were waiting for our coffees, Mr. Hatchett looked at me solemnly.

  “Maya, TechnoGuard would never have been the company it is today if it hadn’t been for your leadership and your somewhat …,” he paused and smiled, “untraditional approach to things.”

  I smiled back at him.

  “I want you to know that I really hope you will commit to a new three-year period. But I have a feeling that you’re not quite convinced yourself, are you?”

  I realized Mr. Hatchett had picked up more than he let on. And that my poker face wasn’t what it used to be.

  “I’d be happy to offer you a higher salary and more shares to convince you to stay,” he continued, “but something tells me that when you have decided what you want, none of that will matter anyway.”

  I was flattered. But he was right. I didn’t care about the money or the shares. I’d already earned more than I could spend. I knew I would only continue if my heart was in it, and I wasn’t sure it was anymore.

  “Thank you, Archie, I appreciate your generosity,” I said. “But you’re right. Money is not what will determine my next move. And honestly, I’d be careful with hiring anyone who is primarily driven by that.”

  Mr. Hatchett grinned. “Look who’s teaching who now,” he said and winked.

  I laughed, then turned serious again.

  “I’ve had the most amazing three years, I’ve learned so much and am really proud of what we have achieved. But I owe it to you, the company, and myself to take some time to reflect before I commit to a new period. So if it’s OK with you, I’d like to think it over during the holidays.”

  “Of course! Anything you say,” Mr. Hatchett replied, then after a brief pause he continued. “I know you have groomed a few people on your team for an interim CEO role, and I appreciate that. But none of them are Maya Williams.”

  The coffee arrived and I was glad for the distraction. I didn’t quite know how to respond.

  After we’d both sipped our coffees, Mr. Hatchett went on. “But should you decide not to continue as CEO, I hope you will consider a role on TechnoGuard’s board of directors instead. I know I have the board’s full support for such an offer.”

  Again, I was flattered.

  “Thank you, Archie. I really appreciate your generosity and belief in me. I will definitely consider everything you’ve said.” I felt overwhelmed by Mr. Hatchett’s unconditional support.

  As he asked for the check, I thought about what a strange situation I was in: having already achieved everything I once thought mattered to me, I was offered even more. Yet, none of it excited me.

  When the waiter brought our coats over, we stood up and I turned toward Mr. Hatchett with a heartfelt smile.

  “Thank you for a lovely meal and the champagne—and for everything else!” I gave him a hug. “Merry Christmas, Archie!”

  “Happy holidays, Maya,” he said and gave me a warm hug back. “Enjoy your well-deserved break! See you next year.”

  We walked through the lobby and as we left the hotel, I noticed that Mr. Hatchett gave the doormen money, wishing them and their families a happy holiday.

  Once outside, we smiled at each other, waved goodbye—then headed in opposite directions.

  As I slowly walked north toward Central Park, I wondered what on earth was happening to me. Something was changing, again, and I didn’t understand what it was.

  Maybe I just needed a break, get some time to think and chill a bit. Thankfully I would have plenty of time for that.

  The leadership team and I had decided to give everyone in the company two weeks of paid vacation over the holidays. Business was slow anyway, and people had been working so hard throughout the year and overdelivered on every target we’d set for ourselves, so they deserved it.

  We all did.

  When I approached Central Park, I decided to stroll through the Christmas market by Columbus Circle. It smelled of roasted chestnuts and mulled wine. Young Christmas carolers were singing a jazzy version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” and people stopped to listen.

  I made a stop at a small bookstand, thinking I might buy myself a couple of new books to read over the holiday.

  My eyes fell on one that looked vaguely familiar. Where had I seen this before? Then I remembered. It was one of the books that always resided on Mom’s bedside table. I remembered this one as a collection of poems and quotes.

  I picked up the book and opened it to a random page. There was a picture of a dark blue sky covered with sparkling stars and a quote by Joseph Campbell, saying that we must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Reading this gave me goosebumps, and it suddenly felt like my blood started flowing more quickly through my veins.

  I paid the lady at the bookstand for the book and went into the park. Christmas lights illuminated my path. Above me, snowflakes were in the air, and I watched how the last red leaves slowly fell off the trees and landed softly on the ground.

  Suddenly, something tickled my nose. I thought it was a falling leaf and carefully brushed it away, but when it came back again, I followed it with my eyes, and that is when I realized what it was. It was a butterfly. A beautiful orange butterfly. It danced around me, as if it wanted my attention. A butterfly in New York in December? What were the odds?

  I stopped walking, and suddenly I just knew what I was supposed to do.

  I had to go back to Kaua’i. And there was no time to lose.

  IN TRANSIT

  I was sitting in a deep leather chair at a coffee shop at the San Francisco International Airport, waiting for my connecting flight. The airport was packed with people, but I had found a comfortably quie
t spot in a corner, with classic Christmas songs playing lightly in the background.

  It was December twenty-second, and holiday travelers were running in and out of the shops, buying last-minute gifts. I’d never been big on Christmas. At least not after my mom died. I had vague memories of happy mornings with Christmas presents under the tree, but those mornings ended, just like a lot of things ended, when Mom died. My dad used to say that Christmas was a ridiculous concept invented to make people spend lots of money on things they didn’t need.

  I had just taken the first sip of my coffee when I heard a voice I recognized.

  “Maya! It is you!” The ever-gorgeous Rebecca was suddenly standing in front of me, dressed in a beige wrap dress and brown cashmere shawl casually thrown around her shoulders. “Oh, my goodness. I can’t believe it. William and I were just talking about you!” She gave me a warm hug, as if we were the closest of friends.

  Great. It’s you, I thought, slightly annoyed that she hadn’t changed one bit. She still looked like a supermodel.

  “How are you? You look lovely!” she said and beamed.

  “You too, Rebecca. It’s so nice to see you again.” And as strange as it seemed, I meant it.

  “Has he called you yet?” Rebecca asked, her face suddenly turning serious.

  “Who?” I asked, startled by her question.

  “William. He said he would call you today.”

  I hadn’t heard from William since I canceled our dinner. Why should he call me, and today, of all days? And why was Rebecca looking so serious all of a sudden?

  Something squeezed my heart.

  “Is something wrong?” I could hear the fear in my own voice.

  “It’s George,” Rebecca said, her eyes welling up with tears. “The cancer is back, and this time they say there is nothing they can do. It has already spread, and they don’t think he has much time left.”

  I felt paralyzed by the shock. I hadn’t even known about George’s first cancer.

  “How is he doing?” I was finally able to ask. “Is he in pain?” My voice cracked, and I felt myself on the verge of tears. Oh, George. Sweet, sweet George.

  “William says he is doing good, under the circumstances,” she said. “But George has been asking about you lately. He wanted William to let you know. I think he really wants to see you. You know how fond he became of you.” She gently touched my shoulder with her hand and looked warmly at me.

  “I feel terrible,” I said, wiping the tears that had started running down my cheeks with the sleeve of my cardigan. “I didn’t know any of this. I haven’t been back on the island in three years. I guess I haven’t been a very good friend.”

  “You can’t blame yourself for what you didn’t know, Maya,” Rebecca said sympathetically. “But maybe you could call him?”

  “I’ll do better than that. I’m actually on my way to Kaua’i and will go and visit him this afternoon.” I gratefully accepted the tissue Rebecca handed me.

  “What about you?” I asked. “Are you on your way to Kaua’i, too?”

  “No, regretfully not,” Rebecca said. “We’re on our way to celebrate Christmas with my in-laws in Connecticut.”

  Wait. In-laws? “Your what?”

  Just then, Rebecca looked over my shoulder. “There you are! Come and say hi to Maya!”

  I held my breath and slowly turned around. A tall, broad-shouldered man with a chiseled jaw and kind eyes reached out his hand.

  “Hi. Nice to meet you.” He looked like a model, too. Beside him were two small children, dressed in matching coats and hats. They shyly looked up at me.

  “Tom and Tara, this is my and Uncle William’s friend, Maya.”

  Tom bowed politely and Tara curtsied. They were adorable.

  “Maya, these are my twins, and this is my husband, Hank.”

  I couldn’t speak. My head was spinning, trying to process it all.

  “Ray, sweetheart, our flight is boarding,” Hank said.

  My jaw dropped.

  “Ray? Are you Ray?”

  My confusion must have been splashed all over my face. Rebecca first stared at me, and then she stopped in her tracks.

  “Oh no, Maya.” Her hand went up to her face. “You didn’t think William and I were together, did you?”

  I could only nod.

  She shook her head.

  “But we told you? When we first met? That we were friends from college and business partners?”

  “I never caught the business partner thing,” I said quietly, feeling incredibly stupid. “Besides, I thought Ray was a man.”

  “Ah, that silly name,” she sighed. “I always call myself Rebecca, but all my friends insist on calling me Ray just because I’ve always been such a tomboy at heart.”

  You just don’t look like one, I thought. I guess that is what had made me jump to conclusions. I felt ashamed about how I so quickly had judged her by her looks.

  “It does explain a lot,” she said. “The way you left abruptly that night and the fact that you have avoided William for years.”

  “Has he said that?” I asked.

  “Yes!” She nodded. “So, all these years you had no idea that William had fallen in love with you?” Her voice was vibrating with emotions.

  The ground below me started to shake. This was all too much. All I could do was shrug.

  “Well, then there are two men on the island who will be happy to see you,” she said and took my hand. “Just remember that one of them is very hurt. So, you might have to give him some time.”

  Rebecca’s husband placed his hand gently on her shoulder.

  “Ray, we have to go.”

  “Give him some time, OK?” Rebecca gave me a hug.

  I nodded and hugged her back.

  “Nice meeting you, Maya.” Hank started walking toward the gate holding the twins’ hands.

  “Merry Christmas,” Tom and Tara waved as they walked away.

  “Nice meeting you all, and Merry Christmas,” I waved back and managed a smile. Rebecca placed her hands on my shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes.

  “Give both George and William a big, big hug from me. And don’t you dare break William’s heart again.”

  “You have my word.”

  Rebecca smiled and then turned to catch up with her family.

  The next hour I just sat in the chair and stared at the empty air in front of me. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been. When I heard my name announced over the loudspeaker, I was jolted back into the moment and hurried toward my gate.

  “Twenty more seconds, and we wouldn’t have let you board,” the woman at the gate said snippily.

  I thanked her, scanned my ticket, and boarded the plane.

  “Please fly fast,” I whispered to the plane as I sat down in my seat and closed my eyes.

  It felt like every second counted, and I couldn’t be too late. I just couldn’t.

  BACK ON THE ISLAND

  “Mele Kalikimaka” streamed out of the loudspeakers at Lihue Airport. It was comforting to be welcomed back by Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters, singing one of my favorite holiday classics.

  As I waited for my luggage, the doors facing the street were open, and the warm, humid Kaua’i air filled the small arrival area. Three hens were walking between the newly arrived visitors, minding their own business, and in the doorway, Hawaiian-shirted taxi drivers waited for their passengers. Everything was just as chill as I remembered it. As the luggage spilled onto the small conveyor belt, I thought about when I had arrived here three years ago, dressed in my corporate suit, on my way to the conference that would change my life.

  How different I had been then. How different life had felt.

  A familiar voice made its way to me through all the other airport noise.

  “Engelbert, Engelbert, look who’s here!”

  I turned around and saw Betsy, my flight mate from three years ago, dressed in a pink dress covered with yellow flowers. She had a lei around her neck and a b
ig white hat on her head. She opened her arms and walked toward me.

  “Come here, Maya doll. Let me give you a big hug!”

  A few seconds later I almost drowned in Betsy’s big soft arms.

  “Imagine seeing you again!” Betsy said with a big happy sigh, while I carefully released myself from her embrace.

  “What a nice coincidence,” I said. “Funny I didn’t see you on the plane.”

  “Oh no, we weren’t on the plane,” Betsy said.

  I smiled, a little confused.

  “We’re just here to pick up some friends that are coming for a visit. We live here now. Thanks to you!”

  “Oh, that’s amazing!”

  Betsy smiled and described how she and Engelbert had received an offer to buy 10,000 TechnoGuard shares for one dollar each.

  “Apparently someone was looking out for us,” Betsy said. Thanks to the money they earned selling the shares, they had managed to buy themselves a condo with an ocean view in Princeville, on the North Shore. “Our biggest dream, to move to Hawaii, has come true, and it’s all thanks to you.” Betsy had tears in her eyes and reached for some tissues in her purse, and soon she had to hand me one, too.

  “I am so happy for you,” I said and smiled warmly into Betsy’s round, cheerful face.

  Engelbert appeared with two large suitcases. He was followed by an elderly couple.

  “Well, lookie here,” he said with his deep, rumbling voice. “I’m so glad we can thank you in person. Had it not been for you, our lives would have looked very different today.”

  They were so happy. It warmed my heart to hear how everything had turned out so well for them.

  “And by the way, we’re not the only ones that are thankful to you. Many of our friends who attended that conference have done the same, and now we are a big happy family out here,” Betsy said. She hugged me again and invited me to join them for dinner one evening.

  My luggage finally arrived, so I thanked them for the invitation and put the piece of paper Betsy had given me with her phone number in my purse. I waved goodbye and promised to call, then hurried over to the rental company to get my car. I had no time to lose.