Ready to Love

by Franca Storm

  “It was a mistake, wasn’t it?” I ask, suddenly embarrassed as hell. I pull the covers up to shield myself. “Oh crap,” I mumble. “Can you leave and give me a second to get dressed and then we’ll talk this out?”

  “No,” he says. Before I know it, he’s climbing onto the other side of the bed. “That’s not what I meant. I just wanted you to know that you don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to,” I say, pushing the covers aside.

  This time, his eyes are all over me. “Nicki, once you give me the green light, I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to stop.”

  Oh my God. I swallow hard and tell him, “I want you to touch me.”

  “You don’t wanna talk about it first?”

  “Hell, no. After.”

  He slowly nods. “All right. Close your eyes.”

  Chapter 7

  ~John~

  She closes her eyes. Tightly. She screws up her beautiful face and I see her entire body tense. I stay where I am beside her and trail my fingers lightly down her right arm. Her breath comes in short, erratic bursts. I lace her fingers with mine and hold her hand tightly until her breathing starts to become more regular. Calmer.

  And then I brush my fingers over the straps of her lingerie. She whimpers quietly.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  She shakes her head. “No. I trust you.”

  Her words hit me like a fucking ton of bricks. I trust you. It has me hesitating for the first time ever when it comes to a woman. Damn, this is different. It’s not like normal. This is…more. A lot more.

  “We’re not gonna have sex.” Normally, I’d never be so polite when discussing this shit. But I know it makes Nicki uncomfortable and she’s already tense enough. She’s fighting herself. She wants to be touched, but she’s so afraid of it as well.

  She sits up and wraps her arms around herself.

  “What?” I ask. For once, I have no idea what she’s thinking. I’ve never seen her like this before—in a sexual situation.

  “It’s because I’m not like them, right?”

  “Them?”

  “The girls you usually…fuck.”

  Damn, hearing that word coming out of her mouth in this context is so hot. It takes me a second to focus. I silently will my cock to behave itself. Not tonight, buddy. “I don’t get it.”

  She blows out a frustrated breath. And right there, there’s the Nicki I know. “I’m not experienced.”

  Oh, of course. “You think I don’t want you?”

  She moves to speak, but I silence her as my lips crash against hers, showing her just how much I want her. She gasps against my lips. I hold back, kissing her slowly and softly like last time, like I know she’s comfortable with. I lower her gently down into the bed. As she returns my kiss, my hands brush along her shoulders. I peel off the straps of her lingerie, still expecting her to stop me. But she doesn’t. She’s too caught up in our kiss. I ease the silk down further, exposing her tits—the ones I’ve had many wet dreams about over the years. I knead them gently and she pulls back in surprise. I don’t stop and instead I increase the pressure and graze each nipple with the pads of my thumbs. A tiny moan escapes her lips and she arches her back, pushing against my waiting hands that are all too ready to accept more of her.

  “These are beautiful. You know that?”

  “Really?” she asks with amusement.

  “Mmm…yeah.”

  I straddle her and lean down and lick her right nipple.

  To my surprise, she giggles. I’ve never had that reaction before. The look on her face is so fucking adorable that I burst out laughing myself. She starts giggling harder in response to my laughter. I grip her waist and shift our positions, setting her on top of me.

  She pulls at the hem of my shirt and pushes it up my chest, trying to strip it off me. I help her get it off and I toss it on the floor. Her hands press against my chest and she hesitantly brushes her fingers over my nipples, my abs. Christ, the way she touches me is out of this world. I’ve never felt anything like it. Unlike the rough, frenzied touch I’m used to from the women I fuck, Nicki is methodical and gentle, her fingers so soft. “Oh fuck,” I breathe. “Amazing, baby.”

  “Baby?” she asks.

  “You like it?”

  “Yeah.”

  My words of encouragement motivate her and she leans down and uses her mouth, tracing the path her fingers took with her tongue. Damn, she’s good. I can’t stop myself from grinding against her in response.

  “Ah!” she exclaims in surprise.

  “That’s my cock, baby. Hard for you.”

  Anxiety flashes in her eyes.

  “Not tonight,” I assure her. I slip my hand under her silky lingerie and tell her, “You’re not just some girl to me. I care about you. All right?”

  Before she can respond, I slide my thumb between her pussy lips. She bucks against me and I grip her right hip to keep her steady on top of me. She’s so wet. So ready.

  “Is this okay?”

  “Yes,” she chokes out, her eyes heavy with desire.

  I circle her clit slowly with my finger. She’s so responsive, writhing against me uncontrollably. I have to tighten my grip on her so she doesn’t fall.

  “You want me to make you come?”

  Her lips curl into a devilish grin.

  “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” She yelps as I push up her dress and grab her ass and pull her down onto my face. “Hold on, baby.”

  She rises up and her pussy is at the perfect angle above me. I lick the length of her slowly and softly and she moans out. I don’t give her a chance to catch her breath. She tastes sweeter than I’d imagined and I lose control, devouring her like a ravenous animal. Lips, tongue, teeth.

  She’s screaming, cursing, and bellowing my name. I’ve never heard any woman sound like her. Fuck, she’s so hot. She can’t keep still. I know she’s close. I tease her pussy with my index finger and she cries out in surprise, but she doesn’t try to stop me. I push it in slowly. She’s so damn tight. Fuck me. I twist it inside her and push in further, until her pussy swallows all of it. Her grip is unbelievable. And I swear to God, if she were anyone else, I wouldn’t hesitate to bury my cock in her. But she’s not just anyone. She’s Nicki. My Nicki.

  I pump my finger in and out, quickening my pace as my tongue flicks back and forth across her clit. She clenches around me, so fucking tightly and screams wildly as she comes hard. I lap up every delicious drop of her.

  I lift her off me and put her down beside me. She pulls her slip back down shyly, covering her upper thighs, and rolls over, gazing at me in wonder.

  “You okay?” I ask with amusement.

  “So that’s how you make your girls scream.”

  “No, baby. I only use my fingers with them.”

  “Why?” she asks, her cheeks all red and innocent looking.

  “Cuz eating a girl out is too intimate for a one-night-stand.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. No more talking about them now,” I say, sitting up against the headboard. I pull her between my legs so she’s leaning against me, her back to my chest. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her hair. “I’ve dreamed about touching you so many times, Nicki.”

  “Me too.” She lays her head on my shoulder and breathes, “I can’t believe we did that, that I let you do that to me. Once we got into it, I couldn’t think of anything else—none of that shit—just you touching me and driving me crazy. It was like the time we kissed.”

  “I’m glad, Nicki.”

  She turns to me and announces, “I want you to fuck me.”

  “No,” I say, shaking my head at her. “Not yet.”

  “I don’t get it. You had your fingers inside me. What’s the difference?”

  “The fact that you’re asking me that means you’re not ready. There’s a big fucking difference. You’re a virgin.”

  She pouts at me and then breaks my hold around her and climbs off the bed. “You’re af
raid.”

  “What?”

  “You’re afraid, cuz you know it’ll mean something. Something more than you’re ready for.”

  “Oh, give me a break,” I say, climbing off the bed and snatching up my shirt. “You think I would’ve had my hands and mouth all over you if I didn’t already feel something?”

  “Yes. You do it all the time to tons of your groupies!”

  “You are not one of them, Nicki!” I thunder. “You’re my best friend! I care about you!”

  “Friend?” she pretty much spits out.

  I scrub my hand roughly over my face. Shit. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have touched her. I should’ve just left it at the kiss. But after that text of hers, I had to see what was going on with her. Fuck, let’s face it; I wanted her tonight.

  I hold up my hand. “Look, let’s get something straight here,” I say, grabbing both her wrists and jerking her towards me. I stare down at her as I tell her, “I’m not fucking you until I decide. It’s not because you’re a virgin. In fact, if you must know, I like it. It’s refreshing and it turns me on. It’s because if I fuck you that would be it.”

  “What? What does that mean?”

  “It means there would be no other woman after that. I can’t just fuck you. You mean too much to me. I wouldn’t be able to just walk away. I’d want everything.”

  “Like a relationship?”

  “Yes.” I let go of her and pull on my shirt. She doesn’t say anything. She just stands there in shock, not knowing what the hell to say. “You want me to stay with you tonight? We did a lot,” I say, knowing she might end up having nightmares again.

  She shakes her head dazedly. “No. It’s fine. Thanks.”

  “All right. Then I guess I should…go?”

  “Sure,” she says, turning away. And before I can say anything else, she walks to the bathroom and closes the door behind her.

  Is this a trick? Like when a woman says one thing, but means another? Does she really want me to stay? Or did she mean what she said? Fuck, I’m way out of my depth here.

  I spend the next couple of minutes just standing in her apartment, before finally opening the door and walking out. Please don’t let this bite me in the ass later. She told me to leave, so I’m leaving.

  Chapter 8

  ~John~

  “I’m not fucking you until I decide.”

  Did I actually say those words to her? I can’t believe it. I’m so used to being a detached asshole with women. And doing those things with Nicki last night was anything but detached and it freaked me out big time.

  The last thing I want is to hurt her.

  Shit, I should never have opened this can of worms. I just couldn’t let her get with that fucker, Axel. But now, after my screw up last night, I haven’t been able to stop wondering whether I’m really any better.

  “John! Did you hear me?” Mitch yells from across the kitchen table.

  I look up and see him munching on some cereal right out of the box. Great, that’s done with then. Who knows where his hand has been. I hate when he does that shit. “No. Sorry. I’ve got things on my mind. What were you saying?”

  “Things, huh? You mean a girl?”

  “What?” I get up from the table and open the fridge. I pull out a beer and rip off the cap. “No, no girl.”

  “So, Nicki then?”

  I almost spit out my beer. “And Nicki’s not a girl?”

  “Not really. She’s like one of the guys,” Mitch tells me.

  You have no fucking idea, man. And the way she tastes? Mmm. Delicious. I down some of my beer and force myself to agree, “Yeah. Right. So, what were you asking me?”

  “When you and Nicki are gonna get down to songwriting. Our stuff is getting stale, man.”

  Fuck, this is the worst time for all of that. But he’s right about the songs. We need more material ASAP. The two of us still haven’t finished the song we started a month ago. “I know. I’ll talk to her and see when she’s free.”

  “Free for what?” her voice comes from the kitchen door.

  I glance over to see her leaning against the door frame, her arms folded against her chest in her defensive pose. She’s wearing sweatpants and a baggy hoodie. More defensive tactics.

  “To do some songwriting,” I answer.

  “Whenever,” she says casually. “Whatever suits you.”

  Whatever suits me, huh? Yeah, she’s pissed at me. “Fine. I’ll let you know.”

  “Fine.”

  “What the hell is up with you two?” Mitch asks, glancing back and forth between us.

  “John?” Nicki says, putting it on me.

  “Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” I tell Mitch.

  “Well, as long as it doesn’t affect practice.”

  “It won’t.” I glare hard at Nicki and drive my point home. “Will it?”

  “Of course not,” she responds, approaching me. She reaches for the beer bottle in my hand and asks with fake sugary sweetness, “May I?”

  I hand her my beer.

  She leans against the counter and turns her body so that her back is to Mitch and only I can see her from the front. She licks the neck of the bottle, her tongue swirling around it slowly, lapping up all the condensation. And then her lips wrap around the neck and she pumps it in and out of her mouth slowly.

  Fucking hell.

  She finally takes a sip and then hands it back to me. “Thanks. Just what I needed.”

  That’s it! “Come with me,” I demand, harshly, gripping her hand and pulling her behind me.

  Mitch cocks an eyebrow, silently asking me what the hell’s going on. I ignore it and continue dragging Nicki behind me. When I reach the kitchen door, Chloe is walking in.

  “What did I just walk in on?” she asks when she takes in the sight of me and Nicki both looking pissed off.

  “Five minutes and we practice,” I snap at her.

  I pull Nicki into my bedroom and kick the door shut behind me. As soon as we’re inside, I release her.

  “You don’t manhandle me, John!”

  “What the fuck was that?” I bellow, folding my arms across my chest and leaning against the door so she can’t get out until I’m done talking to her.

  “What?” she asks, daring to deny it.

  “The attitude? That fucking performance?”

  “Performance?”

  “The blow job with the bottle!” I thunder, getting more infuriated by the minute. She knows I have a nasty temper and yet she’s pushing me to unleash it.

  She doesn’t answer. She just stares at me. At my cock, to be more precise. Yeah, what a shocker, Nicki. I’m hard after your little demonstration. Any guy would be after witnessing that.

  “I should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to handle it!”

  That gets her attention as I knew it would. Good. “Excuse me?”

  “Me eating your pussy and finger fucking you until you came on my mouth,” I say, making it as graphic as possible to unnerve her and shock her into hearing me.

  And sure enough she cringes and breaks eye contact. “You couldn’t handle it,” she says quietly, suddenly all embarrassed.

  “Why do you think that?”

  “Because you wouldn’t…you know?”

  “What? Fuck you? I already explained why. We talked it out before I left.”

  “What you said and what you meant are two different things. I know you, John.”

  “Do you now? So what did I mean then, according to you?”

  “That you’re too chicken shit to be in a relationship. You’re not ready to give up your groupies. Not even for me. Not even for us.”

  Huh. Well, clearly she does know me then. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

  She scoffs and strides towards me, trying to get to the door. “Move. Or I’ll make you,” she threatens, clenching her right fist.

  I step away from the door and throw it open. “Be my guest.” As she tries to walk through, I grip her wrist, stopping her. When she loo
ks back at me, I warn her, “Don’t bring our personal shit around the band again. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes,” she says through gritted teeth.

  “I’ll hold you to it. Believe me,” I tell her as I let her go. When she’s out of sight, I lean against the door and blow out a heavy breath. “Fuck.”

  Chapter 9

  ~Nicki~

  “No,” John tells me, flat out refusing me. “We’re not doing that cover at our next gig.”

  “And why not?” I ask, eyeing him as I clutch my microphone.

  He’s resting one arm against his microphone and drinking a bottle of water with the other. “It’s not our sound,” he answers. “And it’s too cheesy.”

  “So love is cheesy now?” I question, cocking an eyebrow.

  He recognizes the humor in my eyes and his gaze softens. And then he grins. “No. It’s not, Nicki. It’s not.”

  “Aww, John. Going soft are you? Didn’t know you had a romantic side,” Chloe teases, sitting behind the drums and twirling her sticks around in either hand.

  John glances at Mitch. “Help me out here. They’re ganging up on me.”

  Mitch laughs. “Ladies, back off my boy.”

  As Chloe and Mitch launch into another one of their bickering matches, I turn my microphone back on and start singing the opening lyrics to I Wanna Know What Love Is by Foreigner.

  My gaze snaps to John in surprise as he joins me, his powerful raspy voice weaving with mine in that perfect way that sends a thrill through me every time we perform together. He winks at me and I grin happily. This is us communicating in the way we do best.

  Mitch and Chloe fall into the rhythm and back us up. John watches as my fingers fly across my Fender, executing a flawless solo.

  Then his gaze snaps to my eyes as we sing the final lyric.

  The second the song is over, he flings his arms around me tightly. He whispers in my ear, “I know what you’re trying to say with this song. Just give me time, okay?”

  He pulls back and looks at me expectantly, waiting for my agreement.

  My stomach clenches. Just give me time. I’ve seen enough chick flicks, heard Chloe’s complaints about the guys she’s been seeing enough to know exactly what that means. I know how John is with other women. Everyone on campus does. He’s a big time player. He just takes what he wants from a woman and then he’s gone. There’s no way I’m gonna wait around for him to tire of screwing around with girl after girl before finally giving us a shot. Ugh!