Courageous Love

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Courageous Love Page 7

by Jerry Cole


  I shook my head. “Whenever I put on an outfit I like on a bad day, I feel one thousand times better.”

  “Why do you think that is?” Cecil asked.

  “Well for me, it’s about being in control. It sounds silly saying it loud, it wasn’t like I had a job or anything but, no it’s stupid.” For once I was self-aware enough to stop myself.

  Cecil walked over to me and put his hands out on the counter so close to mine. There was so much and so little air between us at the same time. “I want you to continue.”

  “Are you sure? It’s basically nonsense.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Well, about clothes, they make me feel like me. Like I chose them. You don’t get to choose many things about your life, who you are, or where you were born. But clothes you can pick. See? Stupid.”

  “I don’t think so.” Cecil said scrunching up his forehead. “It feels good to pick things out for yourself. Like clothes, friends, what you want to do in life.”

  “I guess I can have one good thought once in a while,” I said smiling.

  He frowned back and my face fell slightly. “Make sure to cut the onion into very small cubes,” he said and turned around to continue with the rest of the meal prep.

  I was just seriously fucking up today. This was exactly why I couldn’t ask Cecil to be anything more than my friend. I had no idea how to act around him.

  Dinner was amazing. Cecil didn’t even mention the pieces of the onion skin he gently pulled out of the tomato sauce he made. It was a vegetable filled spaghetti and probably the healthiest thing I had since I moved here.

  “You are seriously good at this Cecil,” I said as I finished seconds.

  “I just follow the recipes Daisy taught me when I was a kid,” he explained.

  “You don’t have to be so humble, you made it,” I insisted.

  There was a brief awkward silence between us as we cleaned off the table. He started washing the dishes and I dried. I wanted to be helpful, but part of me felt like I was just delaying the inevitable, that I had to leave.

  We finished up once the kitchen was clean again. I dithered around the hall with him. It seemed like we were drifting to the door but I didn’t want this day to be over yet. I was so indecisive. I was so sure that I couldn’t be anything more with Cecil and yet I couldn’t walk out the door either.

  “You should go,” Cecil said suddenly.

  “Oh.” I felt my eyes begin to sting. He was right of course, I had overstayed my welcome, dinner was done. But I guess some selfish part of me wanted him to ask me to stay.

  I turned around, ready to head out.

  “Wait.”

  I stopped.

  “But I don’t want you too.”

  “Why would you say it like that?” My voice squeaked as I whipped around to look him in the eyes.

  “Because you should go. I don’t want to keep you here,” Cecil raised his voice louder than I had ever heard it.

  “What do you mean? I stay out late all the time.”

  “That’s not what I’m,” he let out a long, frustrated breath.

  I stepped closer to him.

  “You didn’t choose this,” Cecil said finally, his hands balling into fists.

  “What are you talking about?” I moved closer, our bodies just an inch away from touching.

  “You were forced to move here. I know you don’t miss your home, but you didn’t want to come here. I don’t want to make you stay.”

  “You’re not making me do anything Cecil,” I promised. “I want to be here. I know I didn’t in the beginning but I like my creepy old house. I love teaching the neighborhood kids swear words. I love being a florist and I’m actually pretty good at it. I love going on walks with you Cecil. I love being around you.” I leaned closer and he leaned forward. “You make me feel less alone.”

  He closed the distance between us, his lips gently pressing against mine. Slowly I began pressing back harder and he caught on and even slipped an arm around my waist. I had to lean down to kiss him properly, but the magic was worth the arch in my back.

  “Adam,” he whispered against my lips. Then he stumbled backwards, his face washed with red. “Oh my God?”

  “Did you like that?”

  He looked down, his long hair covering his eyes. “That was my first kiss.”

  My eyes widened. “Is that a yes?”

  He surged forward, on the very tip of his toes and smashed his lips back into mine.

  It was definitely a yes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “I want you to be in charge here,” I said calmly as I ran my fingers through his hair which didn’t just look like a cloud, it felt as soft as one too.

  “You don’t mind?” He asked nervously.

  “Mind what?” I asked while curling a lock around my finger.

  “That I’m, you know, a virgin?” Cecil muttered into my chest.

  A laugh rumbled through me. “As long as you don’t mind, I’m anything but.”

  “I don’t mind. I’m not judging you for that at all,” he said quickly looking up at me with his wide pale eyes.

  “And I’m not going to judge you for not having any experience. I’ll help you through it.” I wanted him to feel loved and comfortable. I wanted to make sure his first time was done the way he wanted it.

  “I don’t really know where to start,” he said and let out a small nervous laugh. “Like I know how this works I’m not sheltered either. It’s. I’m sorry. I’m nervous.”

  “It’s fine.” I remembered how I was my first time; it was kind of a mess but a fondly remembered mess. “How about I try something, and if you ever feel uncomfortable, tell me to stop and I will,” I explained.

  He nodded. “That sounds good.”

  We were in Cecil’s bedroom. He had one of those fancy four post beds made of a rich dark wood and framed dried flowers hanging on every wall in his room. We stood near the bed where we had been kissing when Cecil asked in the politest, and adorable, voice if we could go further.

  I slowly sunk to my knees and rested my hands on the front of the jeans he was wearing. I looked up at him and he was so red he was almost purple. “Is this fine?”

  He nodded. It seemed like he couldn’t even form words. But it wasn’t a bad nervous, I could tell by the way his eyes wouldn’t let me go, even as shaky as he was.

  I unbuttoned his pants and then worked his zipper down. With another nod I slipped his pants down past his beautiful petite behind and then down his legs. He quickly stepped out of them and there he was in his button up hanging just over the edge of his boxers. I could just see the growing bulge like a half opened present.

  “You’re so amazing,” I breathed out as I ran my hands from his hips, down to his thighs.

  “It’s just my legs,” Cecil said way more humbly than I would have been with legs like his.

  I tried not to shake too much from laughter as I unbuttoned the bottom three buttons on his shirt fully revealing the dark gray boxers that I would work on next.

  “Still feeling good?” I asked as my fingers played with the waistband.

  “Just,” I felt his shiver under my fingertips. He regained some composure. “You don’t have to keep asking. I promise I’ll let you know. I’m enjoying this. A lot.”

  I let my right-hand stray down to his bulge and danced over it. “I can tell,” my voice hot and heavy.

  He shivered under me again and I took that moment to start working down his boxers. His erection was finally freed. It rested against his chest and I just had to reach out and play with it. It began to respond to my touch and Cecil began groaning. He sounded so soft even with his grunts of pleasure but I wanted to see if I could change that.

  “Sorry it’s not very big,” Cecil said guiltily.

  I shook my head. “I can tell you’ve only got your sex ed from the internet. All sizes are fine with me if you know what you’re doing. And I know what I’m doing. Besides, you aren’t exactly tiny babe,
” the endearment slipped off my tongue easy as anything.

  He blushed again. “If you say so, babe.”

  The rush I got from him calling me the name back was so strong that it urged me forward. I took the tip of his cock in my mouth and slowly took more and more of him. He braced a hand on one of his bed posts and I rocked forward.

  He got harder and harder as I let my tongue spin around him.

  “Adam,” he said through gasping breaths. His voice was so high pitched.

  I knew he was close. All of this felt so new to him he probably couldn’t handle it for much longer. But he’d lasted much longer than a lot of guys I’d been with.

  I decided to do something a little special for him. After a breath I took him in my mouth as far as he would go. He threw his head back as my warm breath tipped him over the edge. He came down my mouth and didn’t stop shaking until I slowly eased my head off of his cock.

  I looked up at him, making sure to catch his gaze, and licked my lips.

  “Adam, that felt amazing,” he panted.

  “What can I say? I’ve had a lot of practice.” I winked up at him and felt spectacularly dirty. I missed feeling this way.

  I stood up and dusted off my knees. “We’ll start slow for now, but whenever you’re ready we can go to the next step.”

  “Wait.” He put a hand on my chest and pressed against me. “What about you?”

  “I don’t need to finish to have a good time.”

  “But I want to return the favor.”

  “Well in that case,” I slipped the blazer I was wearing off and let it fall to the floor. “What do you want to do?”

  “Can I try something too?” he asked and started untucking my shirt.

  “Of course,” I murmured and leaned into him as he worked the shirt out. I began kissing his neck and he took my pants off and added them to our growing clothing pile.

  “Woah,” he said and I felt his hand cup my own erection that had been growing from the moment my knees hit the wood earlier. I was really only an inch or so bigger but I’m glad he thought it was so impressive. I showed that by biting at his ear. He giggled as he slipped down my boxers hurriedly. I couldn’t blame him for being impatient.

  His fingers hesitantly hovered over my cock. I thought I could just feel the ghost of them but I must have been imagining it. “Go on,” I urged into his ear.

  So gently, like it was made of china, he took my cock in his hand. He began stroking up and down slowly at first. He accidentally let a nail slip and ran it down my length. I gasped.

  “I’m sorry,” his hand flew away and my cock ached at its absence.

  “No,” I groaned. “That was good. Really good.”

  “It was?”

  “Do it again, it's so good babe.”

  He gripped me again but this time he ran his nails up and down. He was still afraid of hurting me so they teased across my skin and I involuntarily thrust into his hand.

  With his other hand he guided my head from his neck to his face. He kissed me again. It was sloppy and I wondered if he could taste himself on my lips. The very idea made me buck again. Cecil had gotten comfortable and was not jerking me off faster. Occasionally he would let his nails run along the bottom of my length just to make me jump. He was a quick learner.

  I dared to slip my tongue into his mouth as he gripped me. He pressed into me and with three more slow jerks I was coming into his hand as our tongues met.

  “You’re perfect,” I muttered into his lips over and over again, coming down from the sexual high.

  “I can’t wait to try out some other things,” he said so innocently for someone with my come all over than hand.

  “I’ll do anything with you babe,” I breathed and we melted into another kiss.

  ***

  We both got cleaned up and I had to unfortunately head home.

  “I’ll see you tonight,” I promised.

  “Tonight.” Cecil said and waved to me shyly the whole time he closed his front door.

  We still went on nightly walks even though we were dating and saw a whole lot more of each other during the days. It just felt like a sacred time for our relationship. I wasn’t even spooked by the whole place anymore. Cecil had helped me view the place as somewhere important to a lot of people, as a memorial. It was special and nothing to be afraid of like I was.

  Cecil had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t leaving Ravenwood any time soon. The only reason I was leaving his house instead of taking a well-deserved nap in his fancy bed with his curled in my arms was that Stacy needed me.

  I got home a few minutes after Stacy wanted me back for but I had spent that time kissing my boyfriend, so could she really blame me?

  As soon as I opened the door, I saw Stacy on her phone. “Adam,” she said in a very fake cheerful voice. It was much higher pitched and more polite than she had any right being. Which could only mean one thing.

  “Your parents want to speak to you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I made the motion of screaming without making a sound as Stacy handed me the phone. She gave me a look that conveyed that she knew how much I didn’t want to talk to them but that I had to do it anyway. Her looks always said a lot.

  “Hello?” I said making my voice extra sugary for the people who threw me out like I was garbage.

  “It’s so good to hear from you honey,” my mom said and I could tell she was holding back tears.

  I rolled my eyes. They could have talked to me any time in the past two months and a half. They had Stacy’s number obviously. “How are you Mom?”

  “We’re fine, everything’s fine,” my mom insisted.

  “Enough about us, we want to hear about you,” my father butted in and got the point as quickly as I wanted to so we could get to the end as quickly as possible.

  “Hi Dad,” I said and leaned back against the closed front door. I needed all the support I could get to get through this conversation.

  “Seriously Adam, Stacy says there has been some real progress, but I want to hear it from you.”

  “I have a job,” I said plainly. “I work as a florist five days a week.”

  “And you haven’t skipped a day or left early?”

  “Not once.” It wasn’t a lie when your boss let you go home early to cheer up the man you had a crush on right?

  “Do you like the work?”

  “Yeah,” I said easily. Beth was letting me make up my own arrangements based on customer requests and I was getting the hang of it. It felt like art school all over again but I was actually enjoying it.

  “Stacy says you’ve really found a place in the community.” Was that Stacy’s safe version of “fucking the graveyard keeper” or the safe version of “being the resident bad influence”?

  “She’s right.”

  “I’m proud of you.” It may have been the first time my father ever said that to me.

  “Thanks Dad,” I tried to muster enthusiasm but it only made it into my voice, I didn’t feel a bit of it.

  “Are you ready to take a third of the company?”

  “What?” I saw Stacy flinch in the corner at how loud I was.

  “That was the whole point of this,” he said like that wasn’t crazy. “Didn’t you see how fulfilling your hard work was? I bet the first thing you bought with your first paycheck gave you a rush. Now you can come home and work for me until you can take it over with your siblings.”

  God, I hoped my siblings weren’t in the room with them to hear this, they would explode.

  “Actually Dad, I won’t be doing that.”

  “What?” It was his turn.

  “I decided I am going to stay here. You were right in the end. I will thank you for sending me here. I finally found where I belong.”

  “You can’t mean that…”

  “What happened to me finding value in my work?” It was a good thing this wasn’t over video or he’d see my shit-eating grin. “I like being a florist and I’m going to continue
being a florist.” As long as Beth could put up with me that was.

  “But that isn’t…”

  “Finish that sentence Dad.” I dropped the cheerful act.

  “It isn’t proper work.”

  I let out a bitter laugh. “This wasn’t a learning experience. It was a punishment.” It became so clear to me. “You wanted to show me what a job like this would be like so I’d run back to you and finally be the son you wanted. Why can’t you accept that the twins want the company? I don’t want anything to do with it.”

  “It would look bad if one of my sons refused to take over the family business,” my father insisted. “It'd be worse if they found out what you really were doing.”

  He was finally showing his true colors. The twins had to get it from somewhere.

  “Bye Dad. I was going to ask you to send me my stuff and my phone but honestly? You can keep them.” I hung up without letting him get another word in to try and convince me I was making a mistake. I knew I wasn’t.

  I turned to Stacy and suddenly felt a little guilty. “Stacy I’m sorry. I can tell them you tried to convince me to come back. I don’t want you to get fired.”

  She took the phone and shook her head, her mischievous smile on her face. “Oh Adam, my resignation email is set to be sent out in an hour.”

  I was stunned. “You’re quitting?”

  “Adam, my employers sent me out in the middle of nowhere as part of some stupid scheme to punish their son. After the first few weeks I realized that I didn’t want to work for someone like that. I haven’t quit, yet, because I wanted to keep an eye on you and make sure they didn’t send someone terrible to watch over you.”

  “Are you leaving?” I asked. The thought made my chest ache slightly. I suddenly realized I would miss her.

  She shook her head. “Not yet. And also not forever. This town has grown on me too Adam. I have a new job lined up and I have to attend a month of training in the city, then the rest is online, which is when I’ll move back. I wasn’t lying when I said I had a conference call. I just failed to mention it was an interview.”

 

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