by Harry Mazer
‘Hannah, the smartest thing you ever did was pick Mary for your mother. You were smart before you were born. If you’d picked me, you might not have been so lucky. You might not even be here. Sorry about that. The truth is I wouldn’t have known it was you, till it was you. I admit you’re neat to have around – sometimes. Mostly when you’re sleeping. And if I was alone, I can see that you’d be someone to talk to. Except that I’d only be alone because I’d be stuck with you. If I was alone on an island with a dog, I’d be talking to him, too, after three days.
‘It feels like I haven’t talked to a human being in three months.’ He put her on his back, grabbed her sack. ‘You don’t believe any of this stuff. You think I talk too much, don’t you? Or do you just think, Let him talk, let him blab on, in the end I’ll have my own way?’
Outside the heat pushed into his face. ‘Where to today, boss? It’s too hot to be walking around. You want to go to the park? Yeah? Let’s go swimming. Yeah? You say yeah to everything. You’re a good kid. We’re going swimming. Now if you’d only learn how to talk and throw a ball and use the toilet you’d be some fun to be with.’
24
Day Four. The last day. The day Mary came back. ‘Let’s get this show on the road, Hannah. We don’t want to be slipshod today. We get out early, beat the heat, have our swim, and get back in time to get everything in place for you-know-who.’
At the wading pool there was a screaming mess of kids knocking into each other and thrashing through the water. It was a dangerous place for a little kid. He kept Hannah to one side where she wouldn’t be trampled. The benches were lined with watching mothers, plus a few token fathers. One bearded dude in a Mickey Mouse shirt nodded to Jeff. He nodded back and smiled at the mothers, too.
Hannah brought the water to her face and it ran between her fingers. Then she let the water run down her arms. The floppy hat he set on her head kept falling off. Her little shirt got drenched and he pulled it off. She was the only kid in the pool with a diaper on. The rest wore slick little nylon swimsuits and bikinis. ‘But what have you got to hide, peewee? No use sticking out your chest yet, but don’t worry – if you’re anything like your mother, you’re going to have what it takes.’
He couldn’t shake the feeling the mothers were watching him. One mother in particular, small and wiry, with glasses, the type who carried a whistle on a string around her neck. The mothers on that bench were all professionals with their carriages and trikes and toys, but she looked like the most professional of all. The old pro looking over the new boy.
Hannah kept getting up and falling in the water. Her diaper drooped and he pulled it up. It finally fell down for keeps and he took it off. What was wrong with a little kid running around naked? Even if she peed a little in the water, as long as no one drank it …
The skinny woman barked out an order. ‘Ron, slow down!’ A big kid with his hair plastered over his forehead froze, then took off after his friends again. Jeff had noticed Ron before. He had big feet and the loudest voice in the pool.
‘Ron! I said slow down!’
The kid threw himself over backwards and almost fell on Hannah. Jeff thrust him aside. ‘Watch it, Ron!’
The next thing he knew Ron’s mother was at the edge of the pool, ready to kill. ‘Don’t you shove my kid around, mister. Just keep your big paws to yourself. That pool doesn’t belong to you or your kid, either. This is a public pool. And she’s not supposed to be in here with her clothes off.’
‘Where does it say that?’
‘Where does it say that? Very good, very clever. Is that the way you talk to your pals? Pull that smart stuff on me and I’ll have you out of here so fast your head will spin.’ She marched back to the bench.
‘What’s that all about?’ he whispered to Hannah. ‘That lady’s crazy. That’s the way some people get their jollies, water rat. There’s a lesson here for you about life, but I don’t know if you’ll appreciate knowing it so young.’
He kept his back to the women’s bench. He was sure Ron’s mother was talking about him, and in his head he was answering back. She didn’t intimidate him. He wasn’t leaving because of her. But he finally did just that, hauled Hannah, protesting and slapping him on the face, out of the water. I don’t want to leave yet. I’m having fun. Just because Ron’s mother yelled a little.
He dressed her on the concrete wall. ‘Come on, you pill, it’s time to go anyway. She didn’t drive me away. Remember who’s coming today?’ He checked his watch. It was earlier than he thought. Time was dragging. ‘She won’t be here for a while, Hannah, but she’s on her way right now.’
Reunion. The meeting of Jeff and Mary … the moment when they’d see each other … fly toward each other …
‘What are you going to do when you see her? You going to cry? Are you going to laugh? Maybe a little of both, right? And maybe you’ll act like she never went away. Cool cat. It hasn’t been bad, has it?’
Hannah pinched his nose.
‘Okay, I admit I was a little rough in the beginning. Are you going to say something to her about that?’
She pinched it again.
‘You are! You fink.’ He picked her up and put her on his shoulders. ‘After all, I didn’t really know what a baby was before. Four days with you, Hannah, and my whole perspective has changed. You want to know how, Teach? Your mother can’t do anything with you hanging on her back. Taking care of you is a full-time job. She needs me. She needed me to get away. And she’s going to need me when she comes back. What do you think about me being around all the time?’
He craned his neck to look up at her. ‘You like that, huh? I’m not sure about every minute. We won’t necessarily live together, that still has to be negotiated, but we’re going to be really close. She wants to be an actress. I want to be a director. It’s a natural for us to help each other. I’m an expert on you now. With me around she’ll have more time for herself. And for me.’
Long shot: Mary approaching the Orloff house. Close-up: Mary’s face full of anticipation. Reverse shot: Jeff out front holding up Hannah. Long shot: Mary running. Close on the three of them embracing, Mary kissing the baby (sound of violins). Close-up: Mary, with tears in her eyes. Oh my darling, I couldn’t stop thinking about you the whole time I was away. It’s been torture. I couldn’t wait to get back. Another angle: Jeff kissing Mary. Fade out.
Hannah had a stranglehold on his neck. He whipped her around into his arms. ‘Oh, my darling.’ He held her up in front of him and kissed her neck passionately. She squealed and blew spit bubbles into his face.
‘You like that? You got to be careful who you kiss. I don’t want you kissing every man who’s nice to you.’ He sat down near the slides with Hannah in his lap and whispered into her ear, ‘This is between you and me. Mary is my inspiration.’
He took Hannah over to the big kids’ slide. She had to wait for her turn. Then he put her on halfway up and caught her at the bottom. They’d done it four or five times when Big Foot Ron came flying over the top and knocked Hannah off the slide.
Jeff snatched her up. For a second, she was speechless. ‘Hannah, are you okay?’ She started to whimper. Her cheek was scraped. He brushed away the dirt, and she jerked away and started bawling.
Ron’s mother came over. ‘What happened?’
‘Your kid!’ Jeff said in a sudden rage. ‘He knocked her off the slide.’
‘Ron, get over here, you big jerk.’ She grabbed her kid. ‘You see what you did to that poor baby?’
He carried Hannah home in his arms. She was trembling and choking on her sobs. A woman on the street said, ‘Oh, poor baby. Take her in to the druggist. He’ll give you something.’ In the drugstore, the pharmacist looked at Hannah’s cheek. ‘Just a skin burn,’ she said and recommended a healing, soothing cream. Jeff put some on right away and she quietened down.
He’d been dreaming about the reunion with Mary. Some reunion. Mary would take one look at Hannah’s cheek and God knows what she’d think. Child abuse.
‘She might have a little tolerance, Hannah. After all, I’m not your father. I never had a kid sister. I’m the baby in my family. You didn’t know that, did you, Hannah? But if you think about it, you’ll realize that’s why I don’t treat you like a baby.’
At home he put more cream on the bruise, cooling it with his breath. ‘Feeling better? You’re a brave little shit. You didn’t cry a lot.’
When it was time to eat, the only thing she wanted was her bottle with juice. Jeff lay down on the floor with his face next to hers and looked into her eyes the way he couldn’t look into anyone else’s eyes. She looked back at him, her eyes wide, unblinking, with a trusting open look that went deep inside him. It hurt to look at her. Love was what he saw in her eyes. It scared him. A few days ago, he’d hardly known she existed and now – when had it happened? – he was caught.
25
Later that day, the phone rang. ‘Jeff?’ Mary said. ‘It’s me. How’s Hannah?’
‘She’s fine. Where are you? Are you here?’
She hesitated. ‘I’m – I’m – Well, I hope you don’t mind, but I won’t be coming back until tomorrow morning.’
‘Tomorrow morning?’
‘Can you hang on one more night? The reason I didn’t call sooner is that I’ve been incredibly busy. I’ll definitely be there tomorrow morning. Do you think your mother would mind?’
‘My mother –’ He coughed. He’d forgotten that Mary thought his mother was there, backing him up.
She caught something in his voice right away. ‘What’s going on, Jeff? Are you sure Hannah is okay?’
‘Mary, my mother’s not here. She hasn’t been here the whole time. She’s in Washington at my sister’s wedding.’
‘It’s just you and Hannah?’
‘Yes. But everything’s been fine. Hannah and I are having a great time.’
‘You distinctly told me your mother would be there. I would never have left Hannah with you alone.’
‘Thanks for your vote of confidence. What do you think happened? Nothing until today.’
‘Today?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘What’s nothing? Jeff, you’re making me crazy.’
‘Everything’s fine, Mary. Don’t get excited, it’s just a scrape. Some jerky kid knocked her down in the playground and she scraped her cheek. I put something on it, a cream I got at the drugstore.’
‘Are you sure she’s okay, Jeff?’
‘She’s sleeping like a lamb.’
‘At four o’clock? She won’t be able to sleep tonight.’
‘Oh, yes she will.’ He felt he knew more about Hannah than she did. He was with Hannah, not her. ‘Hey wait – she’s waking up right now. Do you want to talk to her?’
He brought Hannah to the phone. ‘Say hello to your mother, Hannah.’
Right on cue, she started babbling.
‘Hello, sweetie!’ Mary said. ‘Hello, baby. Hello little face. I miss you, honey. Mommy’s coming home soon.’
‘Oh, Hannah,’ he said, the next morning, as they sat eating breakfast together in the living room. She was in her walker. He was barefoot, in gym shorts. The TV was on, but neither of them was watching. ‘Mary’s coming home today. You’re thrilled, aren’t you, Hannah?’
‘Raraa,’ she said.
‘That’s right. Your mother. You’re a smart little slob. Is Mary going to be happy to see us, Hannah, is she going to be impressed? Here you are, feeding yourself and look at the way we’re talking. I wonder if your mother is aware that even though you don’t say a lot, you understand everything.’
‘Rye rye rye,’ Hannah agreed.
‘Right. It’s been good for you to be with me, Hannah. You need a man around. Mothers worry about everything. Men are more relaxed. They take things as they come.’ Then he thought of his own parents. ‘Well, not in every case. But enough of this for now. This is the plan. We’re going to be cleaned up and waiting when Mary walks in that door.’
They walked around, surveying the house. ‘Can you believe it, Hannah? How can one kid do this. We ought to apply for Federal Disaster Aid.’
The couch pillows were on the floor, the chairs were turned backwards, there were toys everywhere and a wet diaper on the rug. Even the pictures on the walls were crooked. He tossed the pillows back into place, then the chairs, then all the toys into the corner and the diaper into the garbage.
The kitchen was worse. The table was invisible. He dropped an empty granola box and a pile of carrot scrapings into the trash. ‘Hannah, I’ll take a little credit for this.’ He filled the sink with soapy water and started the dishes soaking, then grabbed a bunch of half empty boxes and shoved them back in the cupboard. Then he went through the house like a Camaro, Hannah wheeling after him in her walker. Later, he lay on the floor, his feet up on the couch. Hannah crawled to the window and stood up, talking to herself.
‘See your mother yet? Pretty soon.’
They waited for her all morning, not going anywhere or doing anything for fear of missing her. At noontime he and Hannah ran out to the market to buy some last-minute things Mary would like, Heavenly Hash ice cream, canned peaches, and chocolate-covered graham crackers. Then a bunch of things for himself that he never ate, but this was special. They were going to have a party.
All day he waited for Mary, tied to the house, tied to the clock. He expected her every minute, kept looking up, ‘hearing’ her, running out to check. By the middle of the afternoon he was steaming. What was she pulling on him? What was her excuse? Was he going to get another phone call?
He threw her instructions away and fed Hannah anything she wanted. She chewed on his pizza, took a swig of his beer, and shared his chocolate bar. Then he and Hannah sat together, watching TV. After waiting for Mary all day, he wasn’t in the mood to get her ready for bed or even clean her up. Or himself, either.
‘Jeff?’
It was late and dark, and he didn’t hear her until she was at the door. Then he nearly maimed himself getting his feet untangled. Mary! Finally! He took a swipe at the ring of yellow around Hannah’s mouth and ran to the hall.
Mary, wearing shorts, a knapsack on her back, her braided hair in a crown on her head. She looked like a Tyrolean hiker asking for directions. ‘You’re early,’ he said. Sarcasm right away. This wasn’t the way he had imagined greeting her. This was The Reunion (Music under – guitars strumming). Mary and Jeff fall into each other’s arms.
Instead, here he was in a pair of grubby shorts, a rag in one hand and Hannah in his arms, starting one of her world-famous arias.
And Mary – taller than he remembered her, face longer. Had she always had that space between her front teeth? Could four days make that much difference? ‘Jeff!’ She smiled, then reached for Hannah with a needy, wanting, hungry look.
He stood there waiting his turn. ‘We’ve been waiting for you all day.’
‘You sweet face.’ Mary kissed Hannah, kissed the bruise on her cheek, kissed her hands, the backs and the palms, and each finger.
How about him? He put his arm around Mary and found himself patting her knapsack. He finally got his hands on her and rubbed her shoulder. ‘Hey, Mary, it’s great to see you again.’
‘You, too, Jeff.’
26
‘What a day it’s been,’ Mary said. ‘I’ve been up since fivethirty this morning.’ She hugged Hannah. ‘It’s so good to hold her again!’ She smiled at Jeff. ‘She really looks wonderful.’
He perched on the arm of her chair, his hand on her shoulder. ‘I thought you were coming in the morning.’
‘I thought so, too. I’m sorry, Jeff, but it was hard to get away. There were so many last-minute things to do. So many people to say good-bye to. I wish I could tell you everything that happened.’
‘Why don’t we just sit back and talk?’ he said.
She stood up. ‘I’m afraid if I relax I’ll never get up again.’ She picked up Hannah’s sneakers. ‘I ought to get going. Is all this stuff Han
nah’s? I’ve forgotten how much junk she has. Where do I start? What do I have to take with me? I should get back to the Belcos’ before it’s too late.’
‘Why do you have to go tonight?’ Close-up: Jeff’s bed. Two heads. ‘You can sleep here,’ the hypocrite said. ‘Lots of room.’
‘No, Jeff, you don’t want another night and morning of Hannah.’
‘I don’t mind. You’re so tired … I’ll put Hannah to bed. You just sit and watch me do my stuff.’
He cleaned out the playpen and put the sheet down. ‘Usually she’s asleep earlier, but I let her stay up for you. I sleep here on the couch to keep an eye on her.’
‘That’s where I’ll sleep, then.’
So she was staying. ‘That’s great. We can sleep in here together.’
She caught his chin and smiled at him. ‘Oh, no, you don’t, Jeffy. I know where your mind is.’
‘I just thought – in case she wakes up and you don’t hear her.’ He ruined it by smiling too happily.
‘I’ll help you clean up in the morning,’ she said.
Mary put Hannah in the playpen, then sat down next to her, stroking her back. ‘I’d like to crawl in the playpen and sleep with her.’
‘We can hear her out in back.’
‘I’ll stay until she falls asleep. You go on out, Jeff. I’ll be right with you.’
I’ll be right with you. Very good. Once Hannah was asleep … He went outside, but he was back almost immediately.
‘Shh …’ Mary stood up, and they tiptoed out together. ‘Poor thing finally gave up,’ Mary said. In back, they sat down at the picnic table and she started telling him about the workshop. ‘That first day I thought I’d made a terrible mistake. I missed Hannah so much. And I didn’t know anybody. I almost turned around and came back, but by the end of the day I’d met Marsha. And that changed everything. I made a friend. Jeff, it was beautiful in the mountains. You would have loved it. Cool enough for blankets every night. We slept out a lot, the whole company, at the edge of the lake.’