by Day, Sylvia
“Stop,” he snapped.
I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor, breathing hard. I could run to the ends of the earth and I stil wouldn’t be able to escape the fact that Corinne Giroux had to be better for Gideon than I was. She was calm and cool, a soothing presence even to me—the person freaking out over the unwelcome fact of her existence. My worst nightmare.
His hand twisted into my loose hair, restraining me.
His spread legs surrounded mine, his grip tightening so that my head was pul ed back gently to touch his shoulder. “I’m going to give you what we both need, Eva. We’re going to fuck as long as it takes to dul the edge enough to get through dinner. And you’re not going to worry about Corinne, because while she’s inside the bal room, I’l be deep inside you.”
“Yes,” I whispered, licking dry lips.
“You forget who submits, Eva,” he said gruffly. “I’ve given up control for you. I’ve bent and adjusted for you.
I’l do anything to keep you and make you happy. But I can’t be tamed or topped. Don’t mistake indulgence for weakness.”
I swal owed hard, my blood on fire for him.
“Gideon…”
“Reach up with both hands and hold on to the grab handle above the window. Don’t let go until I tel you, understand?”
I did as he ordered, pushing my hands through the leather loop. As my grip secured, my body sparked to life, making me aware of how right he was about what I needed. He knew me so wel , this lover of mine.
Shoving his hands into my bodice, Gideon squeezed my ful , aching breasts. When he rol ed and tugged my nipples, my head lol ed against him, the tension leaving my body in a rush.
“God.” He nuzzled his mouth against my temple. “It’s so perfect when you give yourself over to me like that…al at once, as if it’s a huge relief.”
“Fuck me,” I begged, needing the connection.
“Please.”
Releasing my hair, he reached under my dress and pul ed my panties down my thighs. His jacket flew past me to land on the seat; then his hand pushed between my legs from the front. He growled at finding me wet and swol en. “You were made for me, Eva. You can’t go long without me inside you.”
Stil he primed me, running his skil ed fingers through my cleft, spreading the moisture over my clit and the lips of my sex. He pushed two fingers into me, scissoring them, preparing me for the thrust of his long, thick cock.
“Do you want me, Gideon?” I asked hoarsely, needing to ride his thrusting fingers, but hampered by how far I had to reach to grab the strap.
“More than my next breath.” His lips moved over my throat and the top of my shoulder, the warm velvet of his tongue sliding seductively across my skin. “I can’t go long without you either, Eva. You’re an addiction…
my obsession…”
His teeth bit gently into my flesh, conveying his animal need with a rough sound of desire. Al the while he fucked me with his fingers, his other hand massaging my clit, making me come again and again from the simultaneous stimulation.
“Gideon!” I gasped, when my damp fingers began to slip from the leather.
His hands left me and I heard the erotic rasp of his zipper lowering. “Let go and lie on your back with your legs spread.”
I moved to the seat and stretched along it, offering my body to him in quivering anticipation. His gaze met mine, his face briefly lit by a passing swathe of headlights.
“Don’t be afraid.” He came over me, setting his weight onto me with excruciating care.
“I’m too horny to be scared.” I caught him and pul ed my body up to press against the hardness of his. “I want you.”
His cock head nudged against the lips of my sex.
With a flex of his hips, he pushed into me, his breath hissing just as mine did at the searing connection. I went lax against the seat, my fingers barely clinging to his lean waist.
“I love you,” I whispered, watching his face as he began to move. Every inch of my skin burned as if from the sun, and my chest was so tight with longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe. “And I need you, Gideon.”
“You have me,” he whispered, his cock sliding in and out. “I couldn’t be more yours.”
I quivered and tensed, my hips meeting his relentlessly measured drives. I climaxed with a breathless cry, shuddering as the ecstasy rippled through my sex, milking him until he grunted and started powering into me.
“Eva.”
I rocked into his ferocious lunges, urging him on. He clutched at me, riding me hard and fast. My head thrashed and I moaned shamelessly, loving the feel of him, that decadent sensation of being possessed and ruthlessly pleasured.
We were wild for each other, fucking like feral beasts, and I was so turned on by our primal lust I thought I’d die from the orgasm building inside me.
“You’re so good at this, Gideon. So good…” He gripped my buttock and yanked me up to meet his next thrust, hitting the end of me, forcing a gasp of pleasure/pain from my throat. I came again, clenching down hard on him.
“Ah, God. Eva.” With a serrated groan, he erupted violently, flooding me with his heat. Pinning my hips, he
ground against me, emptying himself as deep in me as he could get.
When he finished, he sucked in a harsh breath and gathered my hair in his hands, kissing the side of my damp throat. “I wish you knew what you do to me. I wish I could tel you.”
I held him tightly. “I can’t help it that I’m stupid over you. It’s just too much, Gideon. It’s—”
“—uncontrol able.” He started over again, thrusting rhythmical y. Leisurely. As if we had al the time in the world. Thickening and lengthening with each push and pul .
“And you need control.” I lost my breath on a particularly masterful stroke.
“I need you, Eva.” His gaze was fierce on my face as he moved inside me. “I need you.”
Gideon didn’t leave my side, or al ow me to leave his, the rest of the evening. He kept his right hand linked with my left al the way through dinner, once again choosing to eat one-handed rather than release his hold on me.
Corinne—who’d taken a seat on the other side of him at our table—gave him a curious look. “I seem to remember you being right-handed.”
“I stil am,” he said, lifting our joined hands from under the table and kissing my fingertips. I felt foolish and insecure when he did that—and conscious of Corinne’s scrutiny.
Unfortunately, the romantic gesture didn’t keep him from talking to Corinne throughout the meal, not me—
which left me feeling fidgety and unhappy. I saw more of the back of Gideon’s head than his face.
“At least it’s not chicken.”
I turned my head toward the man sitting beside me.
I’d been so focused on trying to eavesdrop on Gideon’s conversation that I hadn’t paid any mind to our tablemates.
“I like chicken,” I said. And I had liked the tilapia served for dinner—I’d cleaned my plate.
“Not rubberized, certainly.” He grinned and suddenly looked much younger than his pure white hair would suggest. “Ah, there’s a smile,” he murmured. “And it’s a beautiful one.”
“Thank you.” I introduced myself.
“Dr. Terrence Lucas,” he said. “But I prefer Terry.”
“Dr. Terry. It’s lovely to meet you.”
He smiled again. “Just Terry, Eva.”
Over the course of the few minutes we’d spoken, I’d come to believe Dr. Lucas wasn’t a whole lot older than me, just prematurely gray. Aside from that, his face was handsome and unlined, his green eyes intel igent and kind. I revised my guesstimate of his age to be mid-to-late thirties.
“You look as bored as I feel,” he said. “These events raise a considerable amount of money for the shelter, but they can be dul . Would you like to accompany me to the bar? I’l buy you a drink.”
Beneath the table, I tested Gideon’s grip by flexing my hand. His tightened.
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“What are you doing?” he murmured.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw him watching me.
Then I watched his gaze lift as Dr. Lucas stood behind me. Gideon’s gaze noticeably cooled.
“She’s going to al eviate the boredom of being ignored, Cross,” Terry said, setting his hands on the back of my chair, “by spending time with someone who’s more than happy to pay attention to such a beautiful woman.”
I was immediately uncomfortable, aware of the crackling animosity between the two men. I tugged on his hand, but Gideon wouldn’t release me.
“Walk away, Terry,” Gideon warned.
“You’ve been so preoccupied with Mrs. Giroux, you didn’t even notice when I sat at your table.” Terry’s smile took on an edge. “Eva. Shal we?”
“Don’t move, Eva.”
I shivered at the ice in Gideon’s voice, but felt stung enough to say, “It’s not his fault he has a point.” Gideon’s grip tightened painful y. “Not now.” Terry’s gaze moved to my face. “You don’t have to tolerate him talking to you that way. Al the money in the world doesn’t give anyone the right to order you around.”
Infuriated and horribly embarrassed, I looked at Gideon. “Crossfire.”
I wasn’t sure I could use the safeword outside of the bedroom, but he released me as if I’d burned him. I
shoved my chair back and threw my napkin onto my plate. “Excuse me. Both of you.”
With my clutch in hand, I walked away from the table, my stride easy and smooth. I made a beeline toward the restrooms, intending to freshen my makeup and col ect myself, but then I saw the lighted exit sign and went with my urge to bail.
I pul ed out my smartphone when I hit the sidewalk and
texted
Gideon; Not running. Just
leaving.
I managed to hail a passing cab, and headed home to nurse my anger.
I was jonesing for a hot bath and a bottle of wine when I reached my apartment. Shoving my key into the lock, I turned the knob and stepped into a porn video.
In the few shocked seconds it took for my brain to register what I was seeing, I stood riveted on the threshold, flooding the hal way behind me with blaring technopop. There were so many body parts involved, I had time to hastily slam the door behind me before I pieced them al together. One woman was spread-eagled on the floor. Another woman’s face was in her crotch. Cary was banging the hel out of her while another man was dril ing him in the ass.
I threw my head back and screamed bloody murder, completely fed up with everyone in my life. And because I was competing with the sound system, I ripped off one of my heels and threw it in that direction.
The CD skipped, which jolted the ménage a quatre in progress on my living room floor into awareness of my presence. I limped over and shut off the volume; then faced the lot of them.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I snapped. “Right now.”
“Who the hel is that?” the redhead at the bottom of the pile asked. “Your wife?”
There was a brief flash of embarrassment and guilt on Cary’s face, and then he shot me a cocky smile.
“My roommate. There’s room for more, baby girl.”
“Cary Taylor. Don’t push me,” I warned. “It’s real y, really not a good night.”
The dark-haired male on top disengaged from Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnatural y dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing viciously. “I can make it better,” he offered with a leer.
“Back the fuck up.” I adjusted my stance, preparing to ward him off physical y if necessary.
“Leave her alone, Ian,” Cary snapped, pushing to his feet.
“Come on, baby girl,” Ian coaxed, making me sick by using Cary’s pet name for me. “You need a good time. Let me show you one.”
One minute he was inches in front of me, the next he was sailing into the couch with a scream. Gideon moved into place between me and the others, vibrating with fury. “Take it to your room, Cary,” he bit out. “Or take it somewhere else.”
Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to staunch it with.
Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. “You’re not my fucking mother, Eva.”
I sidestepped around Gideon. “Wasn’t screwing up with Trey enough of a fucking lesson for you, you idiot?”
“This isn’t about Trey!”
“Who’s Trey?” The bottle blonde asked as she got to her feet. When she caught a good look at Gideon, she visibly preened, showing off an admittedly pretty body.
Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainful y dismissive and unimpressed that she final y had the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky gold lamé dress she picked up off the floor. And because I was in a mood, I said, “Don’t take it personal y. He prefers brunettes.”
The look Gideon shot me was lethal. I’d never seen him look so livid. He was literal y vibrating with suppressed violence.
Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary step back. He cursed viciously and shoved both of his hands through his hair.
Suddenly bone weary and desperately disappointed with the men in my life, I turned away. “Get this mess out of my house, Cary.”
I headed down the hal way, kicking off my other heel en route. I was out of my dress before I reached my bathroom and in the shower less than a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around my knees.
“Eva.”
I cringed when I heard Gideon’s voice, and tucked into an even tighter bal .
“Goddamn it,” he snapped. “You piss me off worse than anyone else I know.”
I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair. He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked. “Go home, Gideon.”
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. “I’m not fucking leaving you here. Cary’s lost his damned mind!
That amped-up asshole was seconds away from putting his hands on you when I got here.”
“Cary wouldn’t have let that happen. But either way, I can’t deal with him and you at the same time.” I didn’t want to deal with either of them, actual y. I just wanted to be alone.
“Then you’l just deal with me.”
I scooped my hair back from my face with an impatient swipe of my hand. “Oh? I’m supposed to make you the priority?”
He recoiled as if I’d hit him. “I was under the impression we were both each other’s priorities.”
“Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight.”
“Jesus. Wil you drop it with Corinne already?” He spread his arms wide. “I’m here with you, aren’t I? I barely said good-bye to her because I was chasing after you. Again. ”
“Fuck you. Don’t do me any favors.”
Gideon lunged into the shower ful y dressed. He yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn’t soften this time. I didn’t give in. Even when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive licks.
“Why?” he muttered, his lips sliding down to my throat. “Why are you driving me insane?”
“I don’t know what your problem is with Dr. Lucas, and I honestly don’t give a shit. But he was right.
Corinne got way too much of your attention tonight. You pretty much ignored me during dinner.”
“It’s impossible for me to ignore you, Eva.” His face was hard and tight. “If you’re in the same room with me, I don’t see anyone else.”
“Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were looking at her.”
“This is stupid.” He released me and shoved the wet hair out of his face. “You know how I feel about you.”
“Do I? You want me. You need me. B
ut do you love Corinne?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No. ” He shut the water off, caging me to the glass with both arms. “You want me to tel you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is about?” My stomach cramped as if he’d struck me with the ful force of his fist. I’d never felt that kind of pain before, hadn’t known it existed. My eyes burned and I ducked under his arm before I embarrassed myself by crying. “Go home, Gideon. Please.”
“I am home.” He caught me from behind and buried his face in my soaked hair. “I’m with you.” I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out.
Physical y. Emotional y. The tears came in a torrent and I couldn’t stop them. And I hated crying in front of anyone. “Go away. Please. ”
“I love you, Eva. Of course I do.”
“Oh my God.” I kicked at him, flailing. Anything to get away from the person who’d become a massive source of pain and misery. “I don’t want your fucking pity. I just want you to go away.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Eva, stop fighting. Listen to me.”
“Everything you’re saying hurts, Gideon.”
“It’s not the right word, Eva,” he pressed on stubbornly, his lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel for you.”
“Shut up. If you care about me at al , you’l just shut up and go away.”
“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other women…But what the hel do they know about me?
What the hel are they in love with when they don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you.”
I stil ed, trembling, my gaze on the mirror’s reflection of my mascara-smeared face and bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon’s ravaged beauty. His features were overcome by volatile emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me. We looked al wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being around others who couldn’t real y see you or chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came with being a fraud, portraying an image of what you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with the fear that the people you loved might turn away from you if they ever got to know the true person hidden inside.