“Did you know that Jeremy was only twelve when he arrived? The same age you were when you decided to leave us and strike out on your own. He was the perfect little boy who never failed to show his gratitude to the senator and me. He wasn’t our own flesh and blood, but we never treated him any differently than we treated you.”
“I never decided shit, Mother. You and that sick fuck, whoever he was, forced me to finally defend myself and run away from here as fast as I could in order to survive. One way or another, I’ll find out who he was, and when I do, he’s a dead man.”
I shouted above the noise from the party and immediately stopped myself before someone got wind of the conversation. She bated me, got off on watching me lose it, and I fucking fell for it like an idiot. All of that took a backseat to finding Heaven and making sure she was safe and in my arms where she belonged. I broke away from my mother without giving her a chance to respond and ran toward the front entrance. My rental car was parked just outside, so I popped the trunk and retrieved my heavy black bag. I was about to face the nightmare that had plagued my dreams for years. In order to do that, I needed my power. My shotgun gave me the strength I needed to finally face my past, a past that started deep within the bowels of the mansion. The basement.
I heard the cheers before I reached the bottom of the landing. I remembered them like it were yesterday. Each step bought back a memory, overwhelming fear, just before she started to hum and made it all go away. My hands began to sweat, but I pushed forward. I gripped the handle of the black bag tighter and drew from its strength. I had to fight the pull of darkness, the need to escape consciousness, not for my own sake but for that of a beautiful nurse who I’d sworn to protect. I pushed my way through the crowd and searched frantically for any signs of Jeremy and Heaven. The sight of the small boy through the one-way glass caused my steps to falter, but I had to keep looking, no matter how badly I wanted to blast every one of those motherfuckers watching. My search turned frenzied. I ran from room to room with no luck until I reached the last door and froze solid.
Heaven was lying facedown across a table with her beautiful blue dress pulled up around her waist. Her panties were torn to pieces around her ankles and hung haphazardly, barely managing to stay in place. There was just enough light shining through the window for me to make out her face that was turned toward the doorway. One look at her dark, lifeless eyes, and I reached inside my bag for the handle of my M4. I was reminded of a time when Buck had taken all of us camping and we fished for our dinner. We fucked off too much to catch anything worth eating, but Sebastian managed to reel in a small guppy whose eyes bore a striking resemblance to Heaven’s. They were wide and glazed over, completely oblivious and incapable of giving consent to the asshole getting undressed by her side. My insides burned with outrage. He put his dirty, filthy hands on my woman and thought he could get away with that? I blinked several times to clear my head before advancing the cartridge in the chamber and pointing the barrel at the back of Jeremy’s head.
“You got two seconds to back the fuck away from her before I blow your fucking balls off.” He held up his hands and turned slowly, giving me a full view of his nakedness. I lowered the barrel from his head and pointed it at his balls instead. The asshole covered himself, as if that was enough to save his nut sack from a shotgun blast if I pulled the trigger. The only thing stopping me from killing that fool was Heaven’s trembling body while she stared off into space lying flat on that table.
“Hey, look, Max, she wanted it. Ask her yourself. You can have her once I’m done, or we can go at it together, makes no difference to me.” The fucker had the nerve to smile, like I’d really take him up on his offer. Heaven wasn’t his to give, and she never would be. She was mine. I held the gun steady. He had nowhere to run, even if he were brave enough to try it.
“I want to kill you so bad my dick is hard. Back the fuck up…NOW.” Don’t do it, boy. Another time, another place. Get your woman and get the fuck outta there.Buck’s voice inside my head saved that asshole’s life. He could thank me later. Haven hadn’t moved a muscle since I’d entered the room, so my only thought was to get her as far away from there as I could. I grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped her inside as best I could with one hand still holding my weapon trained on Jeremy.
“You won’t get away with this, Max. I know important people in this town. All it takes is a phone call, and I’ll have you thrown in jail for the rest of your life.” I lifted Heaven off the table with one arm and placed her over my shoulder. She weighed nothing wrapped tightly in that blanket, but I felt every tremble of her shaking body against my chest.
“You are one lucky motherfucker, Jeremy, but don’t worry, we’ll finish this dance later.”
“Antonia will hear about this, Max. She won’t stand for your insolence.”
He was still spouting off bullshit when I backed out the doorway and took off at a steady pace down the back staircase. I made it out the servants’ entrance without being spotted and found my rental car parked right where I’d left it. I secured Heaven in the passenger seat with her seat belt, jumped in the driver’s side, and took off down the long road that led out of the gated community. Heaven’s beautiful face was the only thing left visible out of the blanket, and my heart broke even more when I noticed a single tear that sat along her long eyelash but refused to fall. I remembered how she’d told me that stupid-ass story about the vampires when I was too upset to drive. It was the only thing that had saved me from jumping off a building after that run-in with my mother. I wanted to hear her laugh again, make funny faces, and cross her arms like she did that day in the car. She opened herself up and told me something that she truly believed in. Dumb-ass vampires aside, it had made me feel alive. I owed her the same, so as I drove, I told her a story that meant something to me:
“My brothers and I were always getting caught doing stupid shit around the junkyard. Buck would threaten to kick our little asses, but that never stopped us from finding more shit to get into. Don’t get me wrong, Buck was scary as shit, but he never hurt one of his boys. Anyway, on this particular day, we decided we wanted to become blood brothers like they did in the movies, you know, by pricking our fingers and holding them together until enough time passed and we thought our blood would mix.”
I wasn’t sure if she was listening, but I kept on.
“We crouched behind a big stack of tires so Buck couldn’t see us. I took out my knife and passed it to Range so he could go first.
Sebastian thought it was a bad idea as usual. “Are you sure this is sanitary? We could get a really bad infection, a deadly infection! The doctor will have to cut off our arm and make us a fake one. Mother and Aunt Enid would kill me if they knew about this.”
“Don’t be such a pussy, Sebastian, it’s just a little prick of the finger. What’s the big deal?” Marcus asked. He was always the toughest after Range. He smacked Sebastian on the back of the head, grabbed the knife, and pricked his finger first. The rest of us followed, and then it was Sebastian’s turn. You should have seen his face, Heaven. It was a miracle he didn’t pass the fuck out right there on the ground. Once the sticking was over, we held our fingers together, but neither one of us knew what the hell to do after that.
“Are we supposed to say something? Like, make a vow to each other?” Range asked the group. It was a good idea, so I started.
“I vow…to always be strong for my brothers.”
Range went next. “I vow…to always fight for my brothers.”
Then Marcus. “I vow…to always protect my brothers.”
Finally, it was Sebastian’s turn. “I vow…to always love my brothers…but not if I lose my arm! Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat with one hand? How many of you guys will volunteer to hold my junk when I need to take a piss? Hmm? That’s what I thought. Mother and Aunt Enid…”
“Shut the fuck up, Sebastian.” We all said it at the same time, which started a fit of laughter that didn’t stop until we were roll
ing round on the ground, hootin’ and hollering. You should have seen us, baby.”
“Did you guys get caught?” She said it so low I almost didn’t hear it. I smiled from across the seat and breathed a sigh of relief. She’d heard my story and came back to me, my Heaven.
“Yeah, baby…we all got caught.” I missed you.
I drove around the city and searched for one of those shitty motels where the rooms were on the outside so I could rent one for the night. She was in no condition to walk inside a crowded lobby wrapped inside a blanket, which required far more explanation than I was willing to give.I had no doubt that my mother would be on the warpath and desperate for blood. My blood. None of that mattered to me as long as Heaven was by my side. She was what was important, not my mother or that asswipe Jeremy. Fuck both of them.
HAVEN
We found a small motel about twelve miles outside of town with parking directly outside each of the rooms. The place was a dump, and we probably would have driven right past if it weren’t for the small neon sign that flashed “Motel” that we spotted from the road. My body felt so worn down; any place with a bed was good enough for me. I wasn’t complaining. Max paid for the room and helped me inside once I’d secured the blanket around my freezing body. The temperature was mild with very little wind, but I couldn’t stop the tremble that I felt deep inside my bones. As a nurse, I recognized the symptoms for what they were: a mild case of shock mixed with anxiety over what happened with Jeremy in that mansion. I didn’t want to think about any of that, not the little boy alone in that room or what almost happened if Max hadn’t saved me from that twisted fuck and his sick desires.
“Let’s get you a hot bath and some clean clothes. I know this isn’t the Four Seasons, but the bathroom is clean and there are plenty of towels.”
I sat on the edge of the king-sized bed, while Max turned on all the lights, checked the windows, and secured each lock. He went into the bathroom, and I heard the faucet come on just before he re-entered the room I was sitting in. He was right about one thing: I was a big pile of hot mess and hated every minute that he had to see me like this. I deserved his contempt, not his kindness. As much as I wanted to blame Jeremy or even Mrs. Lancaster, everything that happened was no one’s fault but my own. I was a dirty whore, just like Richard had told me I always would be. Nursing would never be enough to erase that fact. Max wasted his time saving me from the inevitable, but I was grateful nonetheless.
“You don’t have to be nice to me, Max. I know how much you must hate me.” I couldn’t look at him. My face was cloaked in shame and embarrassment.
“Hate is the last fucking thing I feel for you, Heaven, but you’re in no condition to discuss that right now, and neither am I. It’s been a long night. The warm water will make you fell a hell of a lot better than you do right now, so let’s go.” Stiffly, I followed his command.
My one-man pity party would just have to wait. Max helped me stand from the bed and gave me a gentle push toward the bathroom, removing the blanket from around my arms. I barely had enough strength to raise my head and see his handsome face while I walked the green mile inside and pushed the door closed. One look at my reflection in the mirror, and I crumbled to the floor in a heap of overwhelming relief that I’d survived. Dried patches of yellow throw up matched the tint of my pale skin, clumpy, smeared eyeliner along with tangled bird nest hair and voilà, first place winner of the Beatle Juice impersonation competition. I let loose an ear-piercing wail that was years in the making, for the boy, for myself, and for my family who was no longer with me. Max was there in a flash. He burst through the door, shut off the water, and swept me up in his arms before the first round of tears started to fall.
“Shhh, it’s alright I got you, baby. Hold on to me.”
He was down on the floor with me, and I clung to him with both my arms and legs. Max was my anchor; his unyielding strength held me to this earth and prevented me from floating away. I had the best cry of my life sitting down on that cold floor, and when it was finally over, I didn’t want to let go of the handsome man who held me. It had been so long since I’d relied on anyone other than myself. That cherished feeling was so euphoric and addicting I wanted to keep it for just a little while longer.
“I’m so sorry, Max. I never meant for any of this to happen. Everything just went crazy, and I couldn’t make it stop.” My words were muffled, since my face was buried in his warm neck. I felt an icky sensation from the tears mixed with snot as it painted a thin layer across my face. It was the best place on Earth, and I never wanted to leave.
“I know it wasn’t your fault, Heaven. Don’t blame yourself for the actions of that cocksucker Jeremy. Let’s get you cleaned up and into bed where it’s nice and warm, yeah?”
“I don’t wanna get up. It’s nice down here. Can we just stay like this for the next week or so?” He chuckled in my hair and patted my back as a sign that the hug fest was over and it was time to move my ass.
“Too bad, ‘cause you stink like shit and this floor is hard as fuck, dirty girl.”
After all the shit I went through tonight, Max somehow managed to make me smile and giggle like a fool as we stood from the floor together. He left me alone inside the bathroom so I could bathe on my own. I almost broke down and begged him to stay. I felt safer with Max, stronger, as If nothing and no one could hurt me. The idea of him seeing me naked didn’t stir my normal feelings of panic. Instead, I felt a warmth deep within my belly that begged for attention. I was aroused, my clit was swollen and throbbed to be touched. Perhaps it was the adrenalin or the feel of Max’s hard body when I’d wrapped my arms around him. Whatever the reason for this sudden awakening, I had to get it under control. Max was part of the elite and could never be mine.
I didn’t waste a lot of time soaking and playing with bubbles. I washed my ass and got the hell outta there, anxious to get back to Max. I didn’t want to be alone. I wrapped a fluffy towel around my body and exited the bathroom just in time to see him returning from outside carrying clean clothing and some sort of heavy bag.
“My suitcase was still in the rental, so I bought you some clean clothes to put on. They’re too big, but at least they’re better than a towel.”
“Thank you, Max, I appreciate that.” I reached for the clothing and smiled when I heard a faint groan coming from his chest for the third time since meeting him. He caught my response and shook his head like an innocent school boy caught stealing the teacher’s apple.
“What? It’s not my fault you’re fucking beautiful.”
“Do you really think I’m beautiful, Max?” He stepped closer, so I raised my eyes to meet his, which were burning with desire. I shivered and held on tighter to the towel that was wrapped around me, afraid he would notice my nipples growing taunt.
“You, my sweet Heaven, are so fucking beautiful I have to fight myself to keep from kissing you, since I know that’s the last fucking thing you want from a guy like me.”
“I never said I didn’t want it, Max.” His sensual voice had me teetering back and forth like a toddler learning how to walk for the very first time. In many ways, I was a small child, new to the ways of romantic passion. Only this time, I was a willing participant who chose to give in to her feelings instead of being forced to fake them.
“No? Once I kiss you, I’m gonna want more. Like candy, I won’t stop at eating just one. Are you sure you want that, Heaven?” Fuck yeah, I want that…and more.
Running away was the furthest thing from my mind. I needed this, proof positive once and for all that I wasn’t a freak. I wanted to feel the touch of a man without the painful reminders of what happened before, that I was a woman with needs who could have them fulfilled without being made to feel like a whore. Most of all, I wanted to feel safe, safe in the arms of the man who’d proved more than once that I was worth risking his own freedom for, even when that meant going against his own family. I responded to his macho proclamation by attacking him like a three-hundred-pound linebac
ker playing in the Super Bowl. I missed his lips entirely then dove back in for a second pass. My mouth landed on his high cheekbones. I remembered that the tongue should be involved somewhere, so I opened up as wide as I could and sucked, carefully holding in my drool. You got this, Haven, keep licking.
“Baby, wait, wait…slow down. We need to practice your technique. How long has it been since you’ve been kissed?” Fuck. Fuck. Don’t cry, don’t cry.
“I…I’ve never been kissed before, Max.” He sucked in a huge breath of air and took a few steps away from me. I felt the chill of his rejection and wrapped my arms around my waist to settle it.
“Are you a virgin, Heaven? I know you’re younger than I am, but…”
“I’m not a virgin, okay, Max…I just…Let’s just forget this whole thing, okay? No harm, no foul.”
“Then you want to explain to me how a sexy-as-fuck woman in her twenties has never been kissed? Please tell me this is some sort of sick joke and you’re just fucking with me?”
“It’s not a joke, Max. What woman in her right mind would joke about something like that?”
I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl into a ditch and bury myself with dirt. I wasn’t ready to drag him into my fucked-up life, kicking and screaming every step of the way. It was a big mistake on my part to think I could do this and pretend I was a real woman for just one night. Max could have any woman he wanted. Hell, I’d witnessed it personally in a public restroom. He didn’t need someone like me; he had so many better options.
“You know what? You were right. This isn’t the right time to talk about…to talk. I’m tired, it’s been a long night, and I’m sure you could use a shower.” I turned away so he couldn’t see the mist that was forming in my eyes and climbed into the cold bed.
“I’ll give you that play, Heaven, but just this once. You have until I’m finished in the shower to get your shit together, then I want an answer to my question,” he barked.
Salvaging Max Page 12