“But you will never be truly happy with me if I cannot give you all that you need and desire.”
“I desire you. That is all. Whatever you can give me, I will take. Whatever you can’t give me, I accept.” No matter how hard I tried to reason with Quinn, she couldn’t see my point of view.
“I don’t think I could handle making the decision for you. It’s not fair to you for me to keep you if you desire much more than I can give.”
I was shocked and desperate to get Quinn to understand that whatever she was able to give me was all I needed. If she decided to call it quits between us over not being able to have a child, the outcome for me would be bleak.
“You don’t understand what I’m saying, love. I only want what you can give me. Everything else is subpar compared to holding you in my arms, knowing I will wake up with you every day for the rest of this life of mine.”
“But why? Why wouldn’t you want someone who could give you everything you desire? I mean…look at Cora. She can have children and she’s beautiful.”
“What?! No! The only woman I want is sitting here with me at this moment. You share the most intimate moments with me. I don’t want to share that with anyone else. I only find solace in your arms.
“Isn’t that what love is, Quinn? Accepting someone for who they are and what they can give you? It’s not about getting all the wants met. It’s about meeting someone halfway, enjoying one another until the tragic day that you part. It’s about respect and support, and it’s unconditional.” I wasn’t sure if that was what true love meant, but that was how she made me feel. She put her hands over her mouth, looking stunned. “Life for me is so different, everything is fresh and new. That is how I view love after all I have been through. Aren’t there things you desire from me I cannot give you?” I needed to prove a point.
“Yeah, I guess,” she said.
“Tell me what you desire from me.”
“I want you to be healthy, without this sickness that has tainted your life.”
“There you go. I cannot give you all you desire. You have to accept me for who and what I am in order to continue to love me, yes? I accept you for your medical issues, as I believe you accept me for mine.”
“You’re right. I do.”
A little relief washed over me. “See. It’s the same thing. We both have misgivings and issues, some not by choice, but we accept that about each other. It’s not about whether or not you can give me a child, Quinn. It’s about acceptance and forgiveness.”
“You are so right, Gun. That’s what love is about, and I lost that somewhere along the way.” Leaning in and wrapping her arms around me, she gently pressed her lips to mine. “I have never loved a man as I do you right at this moment.”
Words could not express what that meant to me. “I love you so much,” I said. “I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else.”
“I love you more,” she whispered while nuzzling my nose.
“Are you going to start with that again?” I playfully warned with a jacked up brow. Then I threw her small smile and nipped her lip. She smiled and I wiped her face dry. I lowered my tone, with a sexy edge, “You know, I can lock that door, then you and I can pick up where we left off this morning.” She shuddered in my arms.
I knew the hold I had over her. Maybe it wasn’t fair that I knew I could take advantage of it. Little did she know, she did the same every time she looked at me. I had an insatiable appetite for her and I wanted to make every second with her unforgettable.
I scooped her up and set her down on the large desk in the opposite corner. She gave no resistance. Immediately, I pulled off her jeans and lacy underthings. She fought to remove her clothes on the upper half of her body, while I fought to get mine off.
By the looks of her wetness, it was obvious she was as ready for me. She laid back on the desk and I positioned myself right at her entrance. She let out a small cry and I barked out a curse as I pushed forward.
Pulling her up into a sitting position, I rocked J.T. into her. Once I got moving, she accepted every bit of me with little resistance. I plunged deep into her over and over again. With all of the sounds coming from her, she was loving the fullness that she felt with me buried inside of her.
Such a fucking turn-on.
I rested my palms on the desk and my face into her neck, trying to muffle the guttural moans coming out of my chest. She felt so fucking good.
I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else ever again. Quinn was all I wanted and all I needed. No one else could ever make me feel the she did. Not only did I feel her physically wrapped around me, I felt her emotionally wrapped around me. Her life pumped through my body.
Quinn threw her head back as she peaked, spilling herself onto me, nearly shattering my eardrums with her cries of passion. She buried her nails, drawing blood, into my shoulders, riding out every hungry thrust. It was hopeless. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My body convulsed as I filled her with my seed, my growl rattling through my core.
Falling back onto the desk together, we lay sloppily intertwined. Our breathing was off the charts, but synchronized. She played with my hair, twisting it around her fingers. Feeling a little emotional over our chat and the connection we just shared, I glanced up at her with a couple tears tracked down my cheeks.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, concerned.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m just so in love with you. You do this to me. You bring me to my knees. I would be nothing without you.”
She smiled, wiping the tears from my face. Wrapping her warm, comforting arms around me, we laid there tangled for a few more minutes until her pragmatic nature kicked in once again. “We should probably get back to work.”
“Why must you ruin the moment with your practical side?” I murmured into her chest, still not moving.
“Do you think they will know?”
“Probably. We weren’t exactly quiet.” I looked up and smiled, knowing her face had flushed. After kissing her once more, I eased myself out of her with an intense exhale. We cleaned up and dressed in haste.
When I opened the door to leave, Henry was standing there with his fist up like he was about to knock. “Oh, hullo. I was just checking on Quinn, making sure everything was good.”
“Thanks. I’m fine.” She blushed. I pulled her in close to my side.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Henry seemed genuinely concerned for her welfare and I fucking appreciated that. Much respect. I need to return it.
“No, I will be fine. Thanks, though. I appreciate it.”
“Well, I will leave you two alone and head back to work.”
“Actually, we are heading back that way, as well,” I said. Henry let out a quick smile and turned around to walk away.
I wrapped my arm around Quinn’s lower back and tucked my hand in the back pocket of her jeans. She did the same to me. We walked back to cafeteria, unable to stop touching each other.
As soon as Josie saw us enter the room, she bolted for us. “Momma Quinn…” She embraced her. “I was so worried. Are you okay?” Cora came up to us, as well.
“Yes. I just needed a minute to sort out my thoughts. That’s all. Thank you for your concern, though.”
Cora laid her hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “I thought I said something that upset you.”
“No, not your fault. I’m just having a bad day, I guess.”
“Okay, well as long as you are all right. If you ever need to talk…you know, woman to woman…please feel free to pull me aside. I would be more than glad to lend an ear.” I was so pleased with Cora for offering. I know my love needed that.
“I may take you up on that offer.”
“Anytime. I’m serious. We both can commiserate together.” Cora smiled.
“Thank you, Cora,” I said and headed off and see what Henry’s plans were for the day.
Henry and I were leaning up against the wall, watching Quinn and Cora carry on. “She all right?” Henry asked.
It dragged me down a bit that Quinn would think she wasn’t good enough for me when, in fact, I felt it was the other way around. I didn’t deserve her or anyone else’s kindness.
“I hear you there. Quick lesson with women: no matter how many times you tell them they are beautiful or perfect or amazing, they won’t believe you. Just keep telling her and, hopefully someday, you’ll get through to her.”
With a nodded, I appreciated his words, since all of my female experience was in the sack. There was never any emotional attachment until Quinn came along.
Henry glanced over at Elaina chatting with Josie. Physically, Nick was with them, but mentally? Lost was written all over his face. “How is she doing?” I nodded toward Elaina.
“Not great, and she isn’t pleased you’re here. Anyway, she’s strong. She would shoot me dead for telling you this, but last night, after I got you guys and everyone else fixed up for bed, I sat outside with her and made her get it out of her system. She gave me a few bruises and scratches before she was done. She threw stuff, punched, kicked, and screamed things I have never heard her say before. If you knew her, you would know that is a shocker.” He chuckled. “I told her she needed to get it out so she could be there for Nick because she’s the only one he has now. I followed her around the town center while she threw a complete tantrum. When she collapsed from exhaustion, I carried her to bed.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, it was really intense. It killed me seeing her like that. Tore me right the fuck up.” Henry sucked in a long, deep breath. When he exhaled, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “You know, Nick has lost two women now. We had to make his girlfriend true dead at my wedding that never happened. Her name was Jenna. Man, he was so fucking bent at us, but she was trying to get him. We had to do something before Elaina lost him, as well. She had to make her father true dead. Claire made her boyfriend at the time true dead.”
The guilt was building up again. “I have to say, I am so bloody sorry for what I caused. I don’t go through a day without it weighing me down.”
“I understand. It’s hard for us. We were punished for this every second of our lives before the virus was even released.”
It felt good that Henry understood what was going on in my head. It was difficult for Quinn or Josie to understand, but it didn’t take long for Quinn to forgive me for what I did. At least, I thought she had forgiven me.
“Well, looks like the womenfolk are done. We should probably help them carry the supplies to the proper rooms,” Henry said with a sigh.
“You said you’ve been here a while?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah. Elaina feels a little more secure here than traveling. She was so upset leaving her family home but, with the bombings, there was no way we could have stayed. She wants to go back someday to see if it’s still there, but I doubt it is.” Henry cleared his throat. “We buried her mum there, thanks to Kellan.”
“What happened?” I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to know, but since Henry was being forthcoming, I felt I should be receptive.
“He used Elaina’s mother as his personal blood supply. He had her hooked up to IV’s for who knows how long. And who knows what else he did to her. She passed away shortly after we found them.”
“Christ, that must have been awful for Nick and Elaina.” Henry nodded. “Before we arrived here, we were staying at a shack further south. There were bombings all around us. I almost died in one attack. I was with two other guys scavenging for supplies. One died. The other one, shortly before we left to look for those supplies, tried to kill Quinn and me.”
“Really? And you didn’t beat him down?”
“Oh, I did. He got what he deserved. It was one of those ‘keep your friends close, but your enemies closer’ things. He actually saved my life during the bombing. I still can’t believe it.”
“Why did he try to kill you?” Henry leaned in and cautiously said, “Did he find out about you?”
“Well, let’s start with he shot me when we first encountered one another.”
“No shit?” Henry muttered. I lifted my pant leg and showed him my calf. “Jesus.”
“Luckily, one of their crew members was a doctor. He cut the bullet out and tended to the wound until it started to heal. Anyway, Mitch—that was his name—wanted my truck. If his wife didn’t come in when she did, I would have slit his throat and exposed myself. So I guess it was for the best. There would have been no way I could have contained myself. I have issues controlling myself sometimes.”
“Wow. That’s mental.”
“That I nearly slit his throat?”
“Maybe that’s the human in me speaking.”
“Maybe. He had a gun to Quinn’s head, and no one fucks with my woman. It must be the overbearing, overprotective prick in me speaking.”
We both laughed because we both understood each other completely. The ice had really melted between us.
Chapter 48
South West of Flores Island
After he was through with her, Roger disposed of Anne on the cold, unforgiving floor. Breathless, he landed on the bed and lay back, his hands behind his head like the cocky, ultra-masculine man with which he was well-acquainted. The dimly lit cabin could’ve easily been misconstrued as a place set up for a romantic encounter, but it was bereft of any perceptions of kind, loving words and actions. He moaned as he settled into the downy comforter.
At the mid-way point of their journey, between the shore of the UK and the port in North Carolina, the ship took a pounding from hurricane force winds throughout the night. While the ocean continued to produce significant waves, the ship listed to one side, causing Anne to roll across the floor. Roger chuckled. She looked up at him. “I loved you at one time,” she muttered. “Now I detest you.”
Roger sat up on his elbows. “That is not lost on me, my little bird; hence, why I keep you around. We have that special one-of-a-kind relationship.”
“Did you ever love me? Or even care about me?” It was unnecessary to answer her. “Why are you doing any of this?”
“Money, power… Is there anything else in life?”
“Money and power aren’t everything.”
“It’s simple. With money, I can have whatever I want. With power, I can make whatever I want happen. It’s a win-win situation.”
Roger swung his legs around and planted his big feet on the floor. With his elbows digging into his knees, his muscular forearms hanging free in front of him, he looked down at Anne, her bones protruding and eyes sunken.
“You don’t feel sorry about murdering so many people?”
“Survival of the fittest.”
“Injecting innocent people with a horrific virus… It’s just not right. What about Luke?”
A low, sinister chuckle rumbled in the cabin, “I’m sorry. Who?” Roger’s icy blue eyes danced with utter amusement at the implication that he had no idea of whom Anne was speaking.
“Liam,” she whispered. “What about Liam?”
“Ahh, yes. Him. Well, again, survival of the fittest. But fear not, my bird. Your precious baby is alive. In fact, I have great plans for him.”
“You’ve already done enough to him!” she retorted with what little strength she had left.
Roger rose naked above her, lip lifted into a snarl. He grabbed her hair and pulled her up to his face. “You are out of line! Don’t you dare give me any more of that tone.” She whimpered as he fisted her hair and pulled her closer to his lips. “Your opinion is insignificant to me…or to anyone else, for that matter. No one listens to a whore who spreads her legs like you d
o,” he growled.
“I only offered myself up to you when I loved you. Since then, you take what is not given and what is not yours.”
His lips hovered a breath from hers, eyes digging into the pit of her soul. “Tsk, tsk, Anne,” he whispered. His warm, scotch-tainted breath made her body recoil. With one hand firm on the small of her back, Roger pressed his naked, aroused body against hers. “One thing you obviously haven’t learned yet is I don’t need to ask, and it doesn’t have to be given. I take what I want when I want because it’s mine. Do you need punishment for me to prove this point to you?”
“No.”
“You have been awfully sassy this morning, Anne. You know precisely how I feel about impudence. I think you should go to the cellblocks now before my temper gets the best of both of us.”
With unfeigned courage in her voice, no matter the bruises on her body and in her memories, she growled against his lips, “Just do it, you filthy, vile pig.”
His lips trembled against hers as every sound dripped from them. “Is that what you want, Anne? You want to die? Because if you keep this disobedience up, that’s exactly where this is heading.”
“You have ruined my life, my son’s life, and the lives of so many others. Hundreds of thousands of people’s lives have been devastated because of your arrant delusions.”
His eyes narrowed. “I suggest you keep your mouth shut,” he growled through his clenched jaw.
“Just do it, you son of a bitch. Just kill me because I want nothing more than to feel something!”
“You want to feel something?” He grabbed her throat and jerked her spine straight. “Is that what you want, Anne? You want to feel something?” The rims of her eyes reddened as he choked her.
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