“No, I just don’t want to cause problems for you two, if he does.”
“I’ll be gone before he’s done getting ready. I just needed this.” I lean in and put my lips to hers. She lets out a soft moan and this intensifies the kiss. I put her against the wall and help her wrap her legs around me. She’s gasping when I pull away from her mouth to work my way down her neck, licking and sucking. I put my hand on the hem of her shirt starting to pull it up over her head when I hear a knock at her bathroom door and it’s like a bucket of ice water.
“Ellie, are you ready yet? I’m going to call Cam and see when the car is leaving.” Shit! Her “date” is here to pick her up and I’m in her bathroom. Worst of all, he’s going to call my phone. The one that’s in my pocket, not on silent.
“Umm, yeah almost ready. I’ll be right there,” she yells. Then whispers to me, “Text him the details quick. Stay here. You can sneak out after we leave.”
Me: Hey, Mike is going with you tonight in case you need anything. He will be to your room in five minutes. You are leaving out the back.
Ryder: K. You coming out with us tonight after dinner? I need a drink
Me: You need a drink like you need another hole in the head. Maybe you can put the bottle down for one night. And yes, I’m coming out tonight.
Ryder: F U. Guess I’ll see you later, killjoy.
Elaina gives me one more light kiss before heading for the door. I step into the shower to avoid being seen when she opens the door.
This is what my life has become. I’m not sure how I’m going to tell him about Elaina and me yet. I don’t know if he’ll be more pissed that I’m keeping something from him or he’ll blame me for him not getting anywhere with Elaina.
Even worse, my dad is going to be furious. I’m going to have to tell him that it just happened and we didn’t risk being seen together while she was with Ryder. I can’t really avoid telling them since I want Elaina to stay with me for a few days after the tour and I live with Ryder. They are going to find out. Though I’m sure Mom would be happy, she has told me several times on the phone, how much she loves Elaina. She wants her over for dinner when we get to LA. I think she was disappointed that Elaina wasn’t interested in Ryder because she wanted a reason to keep her around.
When I hear to door from the suite leading to the hallway close, I leave the bathroom and walk out into the suite. As I’m getting ready to leave, something catches my eye; Ryder left his wallet sitting on the coffee table. I start to take it to him, but realize that it would look suspicious for me to find it right after he leaves.
My phone rings. It’s Caleb. I answer.
“Hey! You coming out with us tonight? We are meeting in the hotel bar to get started.”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you for a few drinks. Be right there.”
I hang up and go to the bar Caleb, Eric and Alex are talking to a female bartender.
“Hey Cam,” Eric shouts when he sees me approaching. Then he turns to the bartender. “You have to meet our boy here. He’s all work and no play. Very boring. What time do you get off? Maybe you could loosen him up.” How long have they been down here drinking? They have obviously had a few. She looks me up and down and gives me a wicked grin.
I look back at the guys. “I know how to have a good time, I just have a thing called a job that I have to do.”
“Suit yourself. We are going to talk to these ladies over here. We will give you two some time to chat,” Alex says with a wink.
Before I can respond, they’re moving down the bar towards three bleach blondes in tight dresses.
“Sorry about my friends,” I say.
“It’s no problem. I’m used to dealing with guys like that every night. Can I get you a drink? ”
“Actually, I should probably get back to work. My boss forgot his wallet, I need to get it to him.” This is so not comfortable.
“Maybe I’ll see you around. I‘m off in ten.” she smiles at me as I turn to walk away.
I walk the strip the few blocks to get Ryder’s wallet to him. I have a hard time convincing the hostess to show me to Ryder’s table. She thinks I’m a fan wanting to meet him. She asked me to show her his ID before she allows me back.
I see Ryder and Elaina’s table, they look deep in conversation. I can hear them before they see my approach.
“So, about the kiss at the bar in Houston…” Ryder says, looking down.
“I haven’t said anything to anyone about it, I don’t think Caleb has either,” Elaina interrupts. What the fuck? Why the hell were they kissing at that bar? Why is Elaina keeping it a secret from me?
“Here, you forgot your wallet.” I drop the wallet onto the table. They stop talking when they notice me.
“Thanks man. We all going out later?” he asks.
“I don’t care what you two do. I’m going back to my room.” I really don’t care if Elaina understood my double meaning behind that.
I turn and leave. I need to find a liquor store.
Chapter 33
Elaina
Ryder and I are sitting at a nice restaurant waiting for our meal in uncomfortable silence. He hasn’t spoken to me since Houston unless he was forced to do so. I know we need to talk but things are just so uncomfortable between us.
Ryder breaks the awkward silence first. “So, about the kiss at the bar in Houston…”
“I haven’t said anything to anyone about it, I don’t think Caleb has either,” I interrupt trying to get this awkward conversation over with. I’m sure I’m bright red.
“Here, you forgot your wallet.”
I glace up and see Cam standing there. Shit! How long has he been standing there and what did he hear?
“Thanks man. We all going out later?”
“I don’t care what you two do. I’m going back to my room,” Cam says before turning and walking back towards the entrance. Shit. He obviously heard our conversation and misunderstood.
“I wonder what his problem is,” Ryder says, “he rarely gets pissy. Maybe he needs to get laid.” He laughs.
“I’m not sure. I’ll be right back, I need to use the restroom.” I get up from the table and rush towards the little hallway at the entrance. Cam is already gone. I try to call his cell phone and it goes right to voicemail.
I leave a message. “Cam, please call me back. I need to talk to you.”
I take a minute and go to the bathroom to rinse my face with cold water to calm down. I just have to get through this dinner and I can go explain to Cam.
I compose myself enough to go back to the table. If I leave now, what excuse could I give? The food is there when I arrive, but I’ve lost my appetite. Cam has to know that I wouldn’t kiss Ryder. Well unless there were cameras there of course. If I could just explain what he heard.
“Okay, back to our conversation,” Ryder says and I suppress a groan.
“I know you were drunk. It’s fine, please just don’t do it again.” I glace at my watch, trying to determine how fast we can finish dinner and get out of here. Even though, I lost my appetite, I take a huge bit of my food.
“I was going through some shit and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I did it. I mean you are hot, but I think of you as a friend. I felt like such an ass the next day when Caleb filled in some of the blanks for me.”
“Apology accepted. I think of you as a friend too. You know you can talk about whatever it was, if it’s still bothering you.” I reach out and put my hand on his wrist. Whatever problems we’ve had, I can tell he really is a nice guy, it’s just buried deep. Very deep.
“I’m good, let’s just talk about something else. You want to go out tonight after dinner?”
“No, I need to get back. I’m getting a headache again.”
“Sorry, I’ll take you back before I meet the guys.”
**********
I swear that, Ryder is the slowest eater in the world. After watching him causally eat his meal while I pushed my food around my plate,
he takes me back to the hotel.
As we enter the building, Alex spots us, “Hey, you ready?”
“Yep, I thought Cam was going out tonight. What happened? He just told me he was going to his room instead.”
Eric laughs, “That might be because the cute redhead, we introduced him to earlier.”
“What?” I ask trying to keep my voice even.
“We thought Cam could use some fun, it’s been awhile since we got him laid, so we set him up. He left the bar and the bartender left a few minutes after him.”
He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t take some random girl back to his room because of a misunderstanding. My world feels like it’s caving in around me.
“Dude, I just told Ellie that I thought he needed to get laid, I guess that is why he was acting like a douche earlier.”
“I’m going to my room. Night guys.” I need to get away from them before I lose it.
“Night, Ellie,” they all shout.
I’m moving as fast as I can through the crowd. I need to get to Cam’s room. This can’t be happening. An old woman yells at me to slow down as I accidentally bump into her.
I make it to Cam’s room. There’s no answer when I knock. “Cam, please open up the door. We need to talk.”
Silence.
“Cam, please.” I’m pounding on the door now.
“What?” he almost shouts when he opens the door. He looks like he broke into the mini fridge and drank every bottle.
I flinch at the look of anger in his gaze.
“I’m not sure what all you heard, but I can explain.”
“Explain what? The fact that you and Ryder kissed at the bar in Austin or the fact that you didn’t tell me about it. Is that why you are so good at putting on this façade? You and Ryder really do have something going on. How many times have you let him fuck you?”
This sparks something in me and I’m angry now too. I ball my hands into fists. “How could you think that about me? I thought you knew me better than that. I only want you. But I guess it didn’t take you too long to get over it, since you invited a slutty redhead up here to help you forget all about me.”
“What the hell are you talking about? What redhead?”
“The skanky, redheaded bartender that the band set you up with.”
“I didn’t take her anywhere. I talked to her for a minute and left to take Ryder his wallet. Only to find you two talking about kissing each other.”
“Ryder kissed me at the bar when I went out to get some air. He was drunk and upset. I pushed him off, then he passed out. That’s it. I didn’t tell you because…”
“That’s it? He kissed you and you felt like you had to keep it from me. I guess I really don’t know you.”
“Please, Cam, just listen.”
“Look, let’s just talk in the morning.”
I could see that nothing was going to get resolved tonight. I nodded. Cam slammed the door then opened it again just to slam it harder. I hurried to my room, so I could fall apart. When I get to my room, I see I have a missed text from Karen.
Karen: Would you happen to know why I don’t have a balance at the hospital anymore or why my bank loan is paid off?
Cam. He paid off Karen’s bills, but now he hates me. I don’t deserve him. I should have told him everything that night. How am I going to make up for this?
I quickly get ready for bed and lie down with a box of tissues. In the first time since I meet Cam, I cry into my pillow until sleep takes me.
**********
Cam is driving my parent’s SUV on a deserted road, surrounded by cornfields. I’m standing on the side of the road watching him. I know what comes next in this dream. I see the ugly, evil sedan come up over the hill. I scream for Cam to swerve, but he won’t listen. The sedan hits the front of the vehicle and it’s flying through the air before landing in the ditch. “Cam!” I scream. The sedan has stopped in the middle of the road. The door slowly opens and the driver gets out. The driver is me. I’m responsible for this. “No”.
Chapter 34
Camden
My head is pounding and it tastes like a cat pissed in my mouth, but the stupid, annoying buzzing won’t go away. The fog clears a little and I realize that it is my phone. I turned it back on before I passed out. I thought about calling Elaina but couldn’t do it.
I answer. “What?” I mumble into the phone.
“You need to get up here. She’s freaking out. She woke up screaming, now she’s crying. You’re the one with the sister. I don’t know how to do deal with women,” Ryder says.
“On my way,” I say, now more alert. I jump out of bed and throw on some pants, not taking the time to find a shirt or shoes.
I take the stairs by my room, not bothering with the elevator at the end of the hall. Ryder is standing with the door open when I get to their floor.
“I think she just had a nightmare, but she won’t stop crying. Tell me you can stop it.”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ve got her, you can go back to bed.” Don’t need him around for the conversation we are probably about to have.
I knock lightly on her door. “Elaina baby, can I come in?”
I don’t hear a response, but I open the door anyways. She’s curled up on the bed, her face in the pillow. Her shoulders are shaking a bit with the force of her crying.
After closing the door, I walk to the bed, climb in and pull her to me.
She burrows her face into me and talks into my chest. “I’m so sorry, Cam. I wanted to tell you. I didn’t because I didn’t want to cause any problems between you and Ryder. He’s your best friend, if you knew that he pushed me against the wall and kissed me while I pushed him away, I knew you would freak out. I pushed him away because I only want you.”
“He what?” I growl, “I’ll kill him. I knew he was a womanizer, but to force himself on a girl.” I start to rise from the bed, but Elaina grabs my hand. I stop.
“He was really upset about something and very drunk. I don’t think he even remembered it the next morning. Caleb had to remind him.”
“Caleb knew about this?” How could she confide in Caleb and not me?
“Caleb came out to check on Ryder and pulled him away.”
“Just because he doesn’t remember it, that doesn’t excuse him.”
“Cam, it’s fine. He has apologized profusely and I’ve accepted his apology.”
“You should have told me.”
“I knew that you would be pissed at him and like it or not, he’s your best friend and your boss. I couldn’t let the rest of the tour be uncomfortable with the two of you at each other throats. Besides, don’t you think he would be suspicious about you being so pissed about it? Please Cam, I’m sorry. I should have told you and explained it to you. This can‘t be the end, we can get through this.” She’s crying again.
I kiss her forehead. “Shhh,” I soothe her. “I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me, but you thought that what you were doing was best. Next time, please just share with me. I don‘t care who it is, if someone does something to you, I need to know about it.”
“I will. I’m sorry. I promise I will share everything with you going forward.”
We lie in silence for a few minutes. I run my hand down her arm, trying to calm her.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t here for your nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?”
I can see some of her features with the light shining in through the window. She’s biting her lip to keep from sobbing. “You were in the SUV, Cam.” She didn’t have to explain this, the crash is a common theme in her nightmares. “I just had to stand on the side of the road and watch as the sedan came up over that hill. I screamed for you, but car struck you and the SUV flipped and landed in the ditch. The sedan stopped and the driver stepped out. It was me, I was driving that car. It was all my fault. It has always been my fault.”
“What? That crash wasn’t your fault. Is that why you have nightmares? You think you caused it?”
“It is my faul
t. My mom had been planning to make my dress for this stupid dance for school, but none of my other friends were going to have homemade dresses, so I begged my mom to take me to the mall to get a dress. Mom insisted that we all go as a family and Braden was pissed about it because he was late to meet his friends. We were fighting about that right before the accident. If I would have just allowed her to make the dress, we wouldn’t have been on that road at that time.”
She has been living with this unnecessary guilt for years. “You were thirteen and wanted a dress, that’s hardly something to feel guilty about. And that could have happened anytime. It isn’t your fault. The driver of that car is at fault. Do you think your parents and brother would blame you for the crash?”
“No, but it doesn’t mean I don’t still feel responsible for it,” she sniffles.
“They loved you and would want you to be happy. You survived a horrible accident, they would want you to live that life to the fullest and let go of anything that is holding you back. Have you talked to anyone about this?”
“No, can’t you see? I don’t want to get over it to live my life. I deserve this guilt. Three people that I love don’t get the chance to keep living their lives,” she shouts.
I take her hand and intertwine our fingers. “That is why you need to live an extraordinary life. Live for all of you. That’s what they would want. They loved you.”
“I guess.” She was starting to calm down, I wiped away the last few remaining tears. I know that she isn’t going to believe me tonight, but maybe someday soon, she will see the truth.
“Do you think you could go back to sleep, if I stayed here? I’ll just explain to Ryder that you were too upset to be alone.”
She nods. “Cam, I don’t know what I could have done in a past life to deserve you, but I don’t want to question it. You have given me protection, understanding, friendship, laughs and I know about Karen‘s bills. I can’t believe that you would do that. All that I can offer you is my love.”
For Now (Forever Book 1) Page 13