Despite Kira's inner turmoil, she smiled.
He patted his thighs. "Mount up, cowgirl."
She straddled his legs and rolled the condom on his beautiful, hot penis. Moving over him, she eased his head into her slit.
"Whoa. What's the hurry?" He grabbed her hips to stop her.
The faster she lost herself in passion, the quicker her heartbreak would stop hurting. For a while. Taking his hands, she placed them on her breasts. "I can't wait, big guy."
He worked her nipples gently.
She dropped her torso onto him, impaling herself. The slight pain she felt in her core was preferable to the vast one occupying her chest.
His fingers tugged at her nipples and groans of pleasure rumbled from his mouth.
She worked her thighs, riding fast and furiously, concentrating on the screaming muscles in her legs, the fullness inside her opening, and the building orgasm that barely overrode her sorrow.
Leaning down, she looked into Dallas's black eyes, loving the soul-deep intensity of them, memorizing it. She grasped his nipples and tugged them.
"I like that," he breathed.
The angle made it easier for her to speed up, to lose herself deeper in the motion and the sensation.
"Sweetheart. Gonna come." It rolled from him on a groan.
A whir of tingles raced up her spine and jingled at her brain. A weak orgasm, but bittersweet and unforgettable as her last with the man she…loved. She gasped as emotion broke free and flooded her eyes with moisture.
She'd said it, admitted it. She loved him. Nothing in her life compared to the sweetness and the pain of knowing she loved. And lost.
She held in the sobs as Dallas tensed and pumped upward, coming inside her, shouting, "Kira."
With her next breath, the damn broke. She dropped her head as a sob wracked her body and tears flowed, dripping onto his chest. She sucked in another breath and silently wept out her frustration and sorrow.
He froze. "Sweetheart." He pushed her hair back from her face. "Aw God, Kira. Are you hurt?"
"N…no."
"Are you just really happy we're back together?"
"No, you asshole." The anger helped, pulling her back from the edge of hysterics.
He lifted her off him and settled her on his chest, but she shoved free and stood, stumbling before she got her footing.
"I can't be with someone…" She puffed in uneven breaths. "Who can't trust anyone. Can't trust me." She swiped her hands across her cheeks to wipe away the tears. They would be the last ones she cried for him.
He slid onto his side and patted the couch in front of him. "Come here and let me hold you, sweetheart. We can talk about this. All night if you want."
"No more talking. No more touching. No sex, no cuddling. This is the end." It tore her apart to say it, but at the same time, she felt stronger, empowered.
"I feel like shit." He covered his eyes with his forearm. "I came at this all wrong, didn't I."
"No, you went right where your ultra careful brain directed. But I'm not going along for the ride. You want casual sex, and I…" Shit, what did she want? "I guess I need more."
He looked at her. "I'm not ready to promise…more."
"Will you ever be?" Her body shook with the letdown after sex, after her crying jag.
Dallas was silent.
That spoke louder than a gunshot. "I'm sorry. I used you just now. I wanted one last time, one chance to ease the pain." She was a horrible person. "I let you believe we'd be doing this…" She gestured between their naked bodies. "Until after the wedding, but I shouldn't have." When she sighed, it drained all her strength. "I made you believe I wanted to be your plaything."
"Plaything." He said it with so little passion, it sounded dry and nasty.
"I'll see you at the wedding, but I don't want to be with you then, like this. My heart can't take it. I'm a weak woman for such a loudmouthed redhead."
He sat up. "Where is this all coming from?"
"I've thought it through. Since I'll probably be seeing you when I visit Gigi in Reno, ending this now, spending next weekend as if we were just acquaintances, will help me move on."
He started to stand.
"No, stay there for a few minutes." She was a coward, but if he stood and held out his arms, she might just fold into them and accept his offer of a temporary relationship. She picked up her clothes from the floor, walked into the bedroom, hauling her suitcase with her, and shut the door, locking it behind her.
He knocked. "Kira. Let me in."
She ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower to flood out his voice. After rinsing off, she turned on the clock radio loud, drowning out any knocking or cajoling he might be doing. When she was dressed, she silenced the radio and picked up the brown envelope Barret had given her. She could give it to him now, but it might seem like a desperate attempt to buy his love. She'd hang on to it, give it to Dallas next weekend if the PI didn't have the buckle in hand by then. She shoved it in her big travel purse and wheeled her suitcase out of the bedroom.
He stood at the window fully dressed, heartbreakingly handsome
He walked quickly to her and reached out, taking her arms in his hands. "You don't have to leave for the airport yet. Sit down. Let's work this out."
As his touch on her arms warmed her cool body, his low, rugged voice pierced the place in her heart she was trying to numb. It wasn't what she wanted for her life, though. A fast, clean break right now was better than hanging on to him, hoping he'd change his mind and give her more of himself.
She stepped back, sliding out of his grip. "Happy Valentine's Day." She forced a smile. "See you next weekend."
It took all her strength to haul her suitcase toward the door, away from the man she wanted to be with so badly, it caused physical pain.
Of course, he said nothing, did nothing, as she opened the door and walked away.
****
Dallas watched Kira leave him. This was his last chance to call her back.
The door quietly closed. He was alone.
The silence buzzed around him like a swarm of locusts. He touched his back pocket where the casino's check sat in his wallet. Would it make his life complete? Were money and possessions the only things in his life that he trusted?
Kira had said he couldn't trust. He'd tried. He'd gone halfway, offered her today, tonight, next weekend. She wasn't a halfway woman, though. She was all or nothing, and he was still licking his wounds from the last woman he'd gone all-in for.
He walked to the bar and chose a beer from the fridge, then set it back inside and grabbed a bottle of water. He needed every brain cell to work through this one.
"Okay, feelings. Get in touch with my feelings." He sat in an armchair and stared at the mustang mural. What the hell was he feeling? Anger at himself for not being able to keep Kira here with him. Anger with her for cutting him off cold turkey. Hell, anger wasn't what he needed now.
He'd shut himself off from so many emotions that trying to dredge them up felt like hauling a rusty chain out of a dark pit. He looked at the refrigerator. Maybe he did need a beer.
A knock sounded at the door.
He jumped up. "Kira?" He rushed to the door and yanked it open.
Gigi and Boone look like they'd just rolled out of bed.
A worry line creased her forehead. "Kira just called and said she was on her way to the airport. What's going on?"
"I don't know." He stood back, gesturing them inside.
"Let me guess." Boone ushered Gigi into the suite ahead of him. "You fucked up."
Dallas closed the door. "Guess I did." Admitting it to two people he admired burned like fire in his gut.
Gigi sat on the couch, patting the spot next to her for Dallas. "What happened? Weren't things going well?"
Dallas sat down beside her. "I thought they were, but it's confusing. I can't get my head around it."
Boone grabbed three beers from the bar, handed one to each of them, and sat on the othe
r side of Gigi. "My very smart fiancée should be able to clear this up for you."
Gigi smiled at Boone then turned to face Dallas. "Tell us everything that happened."
He started with Kira's strange behavior in the back hallway of the casino the day before, told them about Jayden's suggestion to stick close to her in case she was trying to pull a quick one.
"And you listened to Jayden?" Gigi frowned.
"Afraid so." Dallas talked about Kira acting suspicious, and trying to leave the suite that morning, alone and with her suitcase, and how he'd kept her in the suite, kept an eye on her.
"Knowing Kira, I'd guess she was testing you." Gigi looked concerned.
Dallas set down the untasted beer. Gigi's guess seemed accurate. "And I failed the test." He looked at Gigi. "But do you blame me? What else was I supposed to do?"
"Talk to her." Gigi set down her beer, too. "Explain your concerns. Get a feel for what she's feeling."
Dallas stood and walked to the wall of windows. "Feelings. Hell, I don't think I have them anymore." His heart felt heavy knowing he'd messed up so badly. Was that a feeling?
"Okay." Boone said. "So you went to the casino office and you each got your split."
Dallas spun around. "That's the thing. She didn't take half. She gave me all of it."
"What?" Boone's voice went up an octave.
"She's rich."
"She is?" Boone looked at Gigi. "You knew that, didn't you."
Gigi grimaced. "I knew her parents were rich, but she's pretty independent. I figured she'd take half the jackpot to pay off her school loans and—"
"No, she's got millions. She inherited it." Dallas watched for Gigi's reaction.
She sat forward, her eyes wide. "Really? She never said."
Boone scratched his cheek. "How did she work around the casino's regulations to give you the money?"
Pacing in front of the glass wall, Dallas told them about the attorney, and the words Kira had quietly spoken when they were alone. Words that had hit him like bricks. He explained that he'd given her some time, then come back to the suite and apologized. He'd thought things were back to normal, then she'd walked out. Again.
"Aw hell, buddy." Boone gestured to Dallas's beer. "Take a pull. You need a little numbing."
Dallas flopped into the armchair. "Sure do." His chest hurt, his head throbbed, and a feeling of panic built with each passing minute. "Problem is, when she walked away, she gave me what I asked for—a quick, clean end. Now I'm not sure that's what I want."
Gigi clasped her hands in front of her. "Tell me what you like about Kira."
"She's smart, beautiful, sexy, funny. She makes me happy." Her smiling face popped into his mind. "She doesn't let me get away with any of my BS."
"And you got plenty of that, buddy." Boone grinned.
Gigi turned to him and gave him a stern glance. The bull rider actually looked apologetic.
Was this what love was all about? Changing your bad habits just enough to make someone else happy?
Gigi caught Dallas's attention again. "That's good. What's one thing she does that makes you happy?"
"Well, she wanted to surprise me by giving me the entire jackpot." The disappointment on her face when he'd ruined it still haunted him.
"She's very generous. With her time and her…um…money." Gigi smiled. "I guess I know why, now. But what else about her?"
"She's adventurous." When he'd made love to her up against the wall of windows, his first instinct was to be more cautious, haul her into the bedroom, but he knew stepping out of his comfort zone would make her happy, so he'd done it, and had loved every second of it.
"She gets her own way, and makes me think it was my idea." When she wanted to go dancing, he was okay with it because dancing made her happy. When she wanted to hear the story of his arrest, he told her, because she wanted to hear it, and he wanted to please her.
Boone cleared his throat. "That'd be every woman's trick."
Gigi smacked his leg. "Boone, you're not really helping here."
He held up his hands. "Okay, okay. I'll let the expert do her work." The cowboy stood and went to the bar for another beer.
"Dallas, what do you feel for her?" Gigi tucked her legs under her on the couch.
"Feelings aren't my thing." He felt his jaw tighten.
"Don't say them out loud, just see if you can experience them."
He heaved a sigh. When he'd gone into the gift shop at the strip club looking for something heart-shaped, and the only non-triple-x rated item was the hip chain. What had he been feeling then?
He thought about the picture Boone had sent him. The six of them and their giant liquor glasses. Dallas had ignored everyone but Kira. Her face, hopeful, sexy, excited. His lips had curled up as he'd stared into her beautiful eyes.
He liked her, wanted to make her happy, wanted to see her smile. Her smile made him happy.
"Happy." Something warm radiated around his heart. He'd never been happy with a woman. Even his relationship with Layna had been just a physical connection, something he'd grasped at, hoping an emotional tie would follow. It never did with Layna, but with Kira?
A bubble of something crept up his throat and burst out of him as laughter. Was he going crazy?
"What's happening over there?" Boone leaned on the bar, watching him.
"I think Dallas has found what he's been looking for." Gigi's voice was soft.
Dallas glanced between her and Boone. "Does falling for someone and going nuts feel exactly the same?"
"Exactly the same." Boone said.
Gigi raised an eyebrow. "A girl has to be crazy to fall for a rodeo cowboy."
Is this what Kira was feeling for him? Is this why she wanted more from him? She wanted to take things a step further, find out how much better this feeling could get.
He took a breath and prepared to ask himself "the question." Did he love Kira? Excitement raced around his heart, sending it pattering wildly. The Valentine's Day mushy stuff had hit him. Hard. But was it love?
"He's gone silent again." Boone strode toward them. "This could be bad."
"Give him time. He's realizing just how amazing Kira is. How letting her in could be the best thing he's ever done in his life."
"Kira is a hell of a woman." Boone leaned on the back of the couch behind Gigi. "I've gotten to know her over the last few months. She and Dallas would be good for each other."
Gigi looked up at her fiancé. "They would. It's not so much that opposites attract, as it is both of them looking for something that the other can give them."
They weren't very damn subtle, but he'd play along. "Like what?"
She nodded at Boone.
The bull rider smiled at Gigi, and Dallas's chest clutched at the emotion in his gaze and the intensity in the look Gigi returned. He wanted that for himself. With Kira?
Boone pierced Dallas with a hard stare. "You've been alone since you were nineteen. When you turned twenty-eight last year, something made you want to settle down, and you did, but with the wrong woman. Now you're afraid to admit Kira might be the right woman because you nearly got destroyed once."
His friend was right. And more perceptive than Dallas had given him credit for. He was tired of being alone.
"Buddy." Boone set his hand on Gigi's shoulder but stared at Dallas. "Your instinct to find someone was right. Don't let what happened with Layna make you lose your chance with Kira."
Dallas's cautious side still warned him not to let the connection between him and Kira get too deep. It told him that jumping into another relationship this quickly was foolish. But his heart told him something different. Nearing the end of his rodeo career, he wanted to be part of a family. Make a family of his own. He could see him and Kira building a house on his property in Reno. Building a life and a family. Could she be happy on a ranch in Nevada?
"What could Kira need from an old broken-down bronc rider?" She was a millionaire. She could do anything, date anyone she wanted.
"Dallas, she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life." Gigi laid her hand over Boone's on her shoulder. "Her family is in accounting. And while she did what was expected of her and got her degree in finance, she's not excited to work in her family's business."
"She never mentioned that." Dallas went back over the conversations he and Kira had. "She didn't mention anything about what she wants to do with her degree."
"Did you ask her?" Gigi's eyebrows lifted.
They'd talked about his parents, but never hers. "I guess I didn't." Why hadn't he asked again, after that first time when she'd fallen asleep? Why didn't he ask her about her life in New York? Had he been afraid of getting to know her better? Afraid it would lead to him getting too close to her?
"I hope Kira will forgive me for betraying her confidence when I say this." Gigi glanced at Boone before continuing. "After you and Kira met in December, she asked about you."
"A lot," Boone added. "She'd tune in to conversations whenever your name was mentioned." He chuckled. "Hell, if I noticed her interest in you, it had to be pretty damn obvious."
This was a lot for Dallas to take in. Kira wasn't happy in New York. She was interested in him, and she'd come right out and admitted she wanted to try a relationship with him. That thought alone made him want to run after her and drag her back to Reno with him. For good.
No, no running and no dragging. He had to figure this out. "I'll think about it, and when I'm in New York next week—"
"Dallas, don't be an idiot." Boone's voice echoed loudly in the room. "Do something now or she'll be gone forever."
Dallas looked at Gigi. She nodded. "I know Kira. If you wait, it'll be too late."
He stood and walked to the glass wall, looking out at the city. He could play it safe and do nothing, hope that if he decided to go for it next weekend, Kira would fall into his arms. That'd be the safest way. Then, if he decided this week that he didn't want her…
Fuck. Didn't want her? His breath stalled at the idea of not having her in his life. He wanted her so damn bad, his hands fisted and his heart thumped, ready for action.
He grabbed his phone from his pocket and pressed Contacts. K. Kira. He could call her, but she'd just send him straight to voice mail, and maybe block his number.
Cowboy Jackpot: Valentine's Day Page 8