Ripped

by Olivia Rigal

  He pulls me towards him and scoots down a little so that we are both on our side, face to face. His eyes are on my mouth. His face hovers very close to mine. He freezes there for an instant and then our eyes lock. I'm holding my breath but not closing my eyes. Neither does he as he closes in and somehow merges with me.

  As our lips meet, there is not a solid part left in my body. I have melted to fit snuggly against him. He's this other part of me that I did not know was missing before. I'm still breathing but I'm not sure it's necessary. Fitting into him is all that I need to exist, to be me. After a moment I cannot measure he pulls away and kisses the tip of my nose. I sigh and shiver.

  "Are you cold, Love?" He's tone is so tender it brings tears to my eyes. God, I crave him and his affection so badly that it's almost too much for me. I shake my head and then burrow against him and hold on for dear life. He holds me tightly and whispers in my ear that I'm safe with him and he's not going anywhere. One arm is wrapped around me and his free hand caresses my hair.

  "How was your day after we left?" he asks.

  "Just fine, it's quiet this time of year," I tell him. "The busy season starts in the spring."

  "So what do you do for fun? What do you love doing? I want to know more about you."

  I don't know what to say. The fact is that I go to school, do my homework and work at the diner. I have a very light social life since most of the girls in school have given up on me. It's not that they don't like me, I actually think they do, probably because I'm a great listener. They have given up because I can only hang out with them during lunch recess and around the school library when we have a group project to work on. Actually the only thing fun I've done in the past years have involved being isolated with a boy in a deserted section of the library and I'm not about to explain that to Alexander.

  "I don't really do anything fun except hang out with Ten," I tell him. "Between school and work, I don't have that much time."

  He kisses me again and then says, "I don't usually do the tender bit."

  I lift my head and look at him. "What do you mean?"

  He shrugs,"I'm a get them and leave them the next day type of guy."

  "You are?" There's such a discrepancy between his words and his attitude that I'm unsettled.

  "But that's not who I want to be with you, Love." He closes his eyes as if what he was about to say was painful. "I don't know why, but I want you to need me. It does not make sense but I'm not fighting it."

  What he's saying is so perfect, the tears come back to my eyes. I blink and he wipes them away with his thumb. "Those are happy tears," I tell him. "Right now, here with you, I feel something I've never felt before. I feel at home."

  Chapter Four

  In my dream my bed is rocking; gently but it is rocking. Actually someone is nudging my shoulder. I open my eyes. I'm not in bed. I'm in a hammock and in Alexander's arms. Ten is standing next to us, on the deck of his bungalow. He points an index to his wristwatch and then puts three fingers up.

  Wow, it's three a.m. I have to open the diner at 8, which means I have to get there at 7. But first I need to go back home, shower, change, and then get to work.

  As long as I get to work in time the Bitch will probably avoid asking any questions about what I did and what time I got in. Past ten or eleven P.M. at the most, she's too drunk to remember a thing anyway.

  Shit, how will I get to work? I don't even have a bicycle anymore.

  Before I go in panic mode¸ I hand signal Ten to come to my side and help me get out of the hammock without flipping the entire contraption upside down. We have this very basic secret silent language that we created when we were kids that we keep using every so often just for the fun of it. Today it's proving really handy.

  He walks to my side, picks me up and sets me down on my feet. The wood is cold underneath my toes. I have to find the shoes I kicked down to the floor earlier. Before I do that I lean over and wrap the covers around Alexander. Incredibly, he's even more handsome when he sleeps. His smile is almost angelic. All his anxieties appear to vanish as he rests. I wish I could look so serene but I'm pretty sure I don't since most mornings I wake up with clenched jaws. Alexander stirs a little and opens his eyes. He looks up to me and then sees Ten.

  "I'm taking her home," Ten says. "Better me than you in case her mother's still up. I'll be back in a little while."

  "Goodbye, Love," Alexander says sleepily. "See you soon."

  I blow him a kiss while I slide my feet in my shoes and follow Ten into the bungalow where he picks up the windbreaker and the helmet from where I left them on the way in. We go down the steps and I'm about to go to the bike by the fence when I remember it's not his, it's Alexander's. I follow Ten to his bike. It's parked on the gravel path that leads back to the main road. When I feel we're far enough to speak without being heard by Alexander I catch Ten's arm and hug him.

  "Thank you, so much. It's the best Christmas present I ever had!"

  He's grinning and looking mighty proud of himself. He can be. He's made me the happiest girl on earth tonight. "And you have another one waiting for you at your house, Lovey" he says.

  "I do?"

  "Yep, I found you a bicycle."

  "What do you mean you found me a bicycle." I badly need a ride but I also badly need to keep some pride.

  "Well my mother got this new 10 speed monster for Christmas so you're getting the old one that would otherwise rust away in the garage."

  He looks at me with a cocky smile tilting his head as he zips up my windbreaker. He knew I would not let him get me a bicycle so he got one for the Ice Queen instead.

  This is perfect. The Bitch will be happy that I have some means of transportation again to get to school and to work and since it's a used bicycle I could always say that I purchased it.

  "You know I love you don't you?" I say.

  "Yes I do but I've bet you've said that to all the guys you've seen tonight," he jokes.

  "Nope, you're the only one," I protest. "He may have chipped a bit of my heart but I'm not sure I want him to know it yet."

  Ten climbs on the bike and says, "Poor man, don't you see how hard he's fallen for you?"

  I climb behind him, "You really think so?"

  We start moving as Ten says, "Only time will tell but if I were a betting man, I'd put good money on him."

  I so hope he's right and that Alexander will hang around for a while. Ten drives me home and sure enough, there's this lovely bicycle by the garage door where I usually tie mine.

  "What time do you finish your shift?" he asks.

  "Right after lunch."

  "Good, we'll be there." I watch him ride away smiling. My life does not suck that much after all. I take a quick shower, sleep a couple of hours, and get to work.

  We're drawing a big crowd today. Many people are taking a four day weekend and spending Christmas in the Hamptons with their family. The entire Clark clan plus Alexander show up at eleven for brunch.

  James Junior arrives first on foot. Ten's father likes to walk. When Ten was a teenager he used to walk all the way here with him. I thought they had some quality time together but I guess I was wrong because it stopped the day Ten got his bike.

  Then James Senior arrives with his daughter, Carla, and her son who's also called James. Since three James at the same table would be a bit confusing, James Clark Evans, Carla's son, goes by the name of Jimmy. He's with his buddy Steven. Those two are attached the hip. They do everything together. Ten even hinted that they share their girlfriends and that sent my mind in a spin. I wonder how that works. The questions I have pop in my mind every single time I see them and I'm pretty sure I blush. They must think I have a crush on one of them... or on both of them.

  Last there's Alexandra Clark, Ten's mother, aka the Ice Queen, with her latest guru. He's her yoga master who has replaced the Tai Chi instructor who previously replaced the meditation whatever. At least her latest obsessions are keeping her in shape. Last year she was into less physical
stuff. She was searching for the meaning of life through astrology and numerology. Obviously neither her husband nor her son, nor the family money, are giving any meaning to her life.

  The two women have tea, no sugar, no milk and half a grapefruit. Between them it's a competition. The winner is the one who eats the least. Their idea of a splurge is a bite of toast. I hope for them they enjoy looking so thin as much as I enjoy eating.

  The men on the other hand are serious customers. They pile up the pancakes, the muffins, the eggs, and the hash. When they're done, James Senior walks by the kitchen to thank Martha. He flirts with her and it's cute. Martha blushes like a young girl when he does. I like the old man. Even though he has created an empire, James Senior is still a carpenter at heart and a very simple man with healthy values.

  James Junior, on the other hand is a real snob. That probably explains his choice of spouse. Through the years, he's persistently questioned my friendship with Ten. He's told his son countless times that to get ahead in life he should stop hanging out with the help. Lately he's stopped. His son's officially dating proper society girls in college so it's okay if he slums with me when he's at the beach house.

  The fact that Ten became financially independent when his grandmother died may also have helped. Ten's inherited a four bedroom apartment in Manhattan from his beloved Granny and the rent he collects from his roommates pays for the maintenance and his living expenses. I'm sure that given the choice he would trade his freedom for a little more time with Granny. She gave him the attention he craved so much when he spent the summers with her. She was the sweetest woman. I really liked her a lot and I think she liked me too.

  Slowly the diner empties until there's just Ten and Alexander at one table and our regular in-house aspiring author nursing a coffee and scribbling away furiously in one booth. I've cleaned all the tables, checked with Martha to see if she needed anything from me. Wendy just walked in. I'm almost ready to go.

  Before I check out, I go refresh the author's cup. "Hey Pulitzer, you seem inspired today," I say as I give him a refill. He looks up from his notebook and grins at me. "Anything else I can get you before I finish my shift?"

  "No, I'm fine my dear, run along, it seems you're going to have an interesting day." I raise my eyebrows showing that I have no clue what he's talking about.

  "I know, I should mind my own business but I couldn't help but notice the dragon's not around and you've got two knights in shining armor waiting for you. Life is looking good for you, Princess." I giggle looking at my two knights.

  "It's the same story that's told over and over again," he says. "They've swapped white stallions for shiny bikes but nothing's new under the sun."

  "I like the romantic way you look at life," I tell him. "I can't wait to read your novel and see what sitting in this place every day has inspired you with."

  "Oh you will young lady, you will."

  He dives back into his own world and I go through the kitchen to the little room that serves as storage and locker room to check on Wendy who is about to start her shift. She just walked in and looks a mess.

  "What's up my girl?" I ask but just looking at her I know the answer. She's had another fight with her husband and whatever plans she had for New Year's day, she's given up on. It must be bad if she'd rather spend the first day of the year working than hanging around with him on his day off.

  "He's drinking again," she says and shrugs her shoulders. "I figured that since I was not going to do anything on my New Year's day, you should get it back and maybe do something fun with Ten if the Bitch lets you get away."

  "I'm so sorry, Honey," I say. She's a tiny little thing. She must be about my height five two or maybe five three but she's so frail that when you look at her you think a strong wind could blow her away. We have each other's back at work but at home there's nothing I can do for her. I go to hug her and I notice she's wincing. "Did he hit you again?"

  "No I ran out and I tripped," she answers sheepishly.

  I don't believe her for a second but I let it slide because now is not the time and place to badger her about standing up for herself. I'm telling myself that it's her life, it's her choice and I really should not interfere. I've got enough to do with my own life not to meddle with hers. What do I know about being in love with a drunk? Probably more than I'm willing to admit. After all at some point, way back when, I must have loved my drunk of a mother.

  I take the coward's way out and run to meet Ten and Alexander. I walk back into the dining area and watch them talking to each other animatedly. I'm happy they get along so well. I love it when the people I care about like each other.

  I feel a gaze on me and see that Pulitzer is watching me intently. I make a mental note. Later this week I need to ask him what his pen name is and what his book is about.

  The guys get up as I come back to them. They look so much alike it's uncanny. They both have this sort of grace as they move their long bodies. There's something feline about them. "Are you ready?" Ten asks.

  "Sure, let's get this show on the road," I say. The three of us walk out and as I strap my helmet on I realize have a choice of ride.

  As if reading my mind, Ten choses for me and tells me, "Ride with him, Lovey." I hop on the saddle behind Alexander and off we go.

  * * *

  Alexander, Ten and I are lying on our backs on a large blanket on the beach in front of the bungalow. That's where Ten and I usually hang out. It's not legally a private beach but people have to walk for such a long time from the road to get there that we seldom have company in the winter. The sun is out and the clouds few and far between. I'm in between the two of them listening to Alexander telling us about the two record deals he's been offered. The most interesting one comes with a one-year tour as the first act of some well established bands of the label.

  "That's why I was really excited about this offer when I got it," Alexander says.

  "You're not anymore? What made you change your mind?" Ten asks.

  "Oh, I didn't. I'm going. I've worked too hard to get where I am today to give anything up but there's this gal I just met and ..." he does not finish his sentence but flips to his side and looks at me. "Now that I've found her, I realize I'm not going to like being away from her so much. She may have too much time on her hands."

  I'm not sure how to feel about this. What we have is so new. Does he think I'm so fickle that I could not wait for him while he tours? Now on the other hand, I realize I should be worried. A year is a very long time.

  "Yes it is," he says, and I realize that I must have said it out loud

  "It can seem like an eternity." I add.

  Always practical Ten asks, "Did you get a copy of the schedule? I'm pretty sure they can't have the bands and crew working every single night for a year. There's gotta be gaps in the tour schedule to let every one go home every so often."

  "You're probably right," Alexander says. "I had not thought about that."

  "So take this deal that works best for you," I tell him while what I really want to say is, please don't go. I suck it up and say, "I'm not going anywhere. If anyone should be worried about your touring for a year, it's me."

  "Why?" He seems genuinely surprised by my answer.

  "You'll be the one subjected to temptation," I answer. "You're going to become a huge success, you'll have groupies throwing themselves at you... some of them will surely be very pretty and very persuasive and you'll probably not always be strong enough to resist temptation."

  Ten laughs and cuts me off. "Listen, Lovey, I don't want to sound like the arrogant bastard that I can be, but I'm pretty sure that Alexander's like me. Tour or no tour, he can get a different lay every night if he wants to, so that's really not the problem."

  "You're probably right," I admit. I turn my head to look in Alexander's eyes and he says,

  "We're going to have to figure out a way to trust each other. Can you think of anything that I could do right now to convince you that I'm serious about you?"
<
br />   Staring at the sky again, I ponder about it for an instant before answering him. "No. I can't. I'll think about it though."

  "Knowing her, you're gonna have to stick around for the next ten years before she stops doubting you really care about her," Ten jokes. "That's about how long it took me."

  I send a friendly punch to his shoulder in mock anger. Ten calls to Alexander, "Hey man! Hold your woman. She's dangerous."

  It's cute the way Ten called me Alexander's woman and it's hot that Alexander didn't object. Alexander rolls me over so that I face him and kisses me. I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight to him. When we come back for air, I say, "So you'll be gone on tour for a year."

  "Yes, I will. Let's go back in so I can get warmer before I hit the road," Alexander says.

  "You're going back now?" I ask not hiding my disappointment.

  "Yes, I need to work every so often and my uncle's bar is the best job I could find. He's flexible with my schedule and the tips are great but I still need to get there to earn my pay. Don't fret, Love, I'm coming back next weekend to start the New Year with you."

  "Cool," I say.

  After Alexander goes, Ten and I stay together a bit. "Next week, we'll have the house to ourselves," Ten tells me. "My parents have this big to-do in the city and Grandpa is flying away to Acapulco with Carla and Jimmy."

  "Weren't you supposed to go with them this year?"

  "Right, I was but I changed my mind. I think I've found something more fun to do."

  "What's that?"

  "Being happy," he says and gives me a dreamy smile.

  "Did you meet someone too?"

  "Yes I did."

  "I'm happy for you. Tell me about him!" I smile at Ten. My friend's happy and today, I'm officially the luckiest girl on earth.

  "Nope, he's still officially a mystery date. You'll just have to make something up in your head, but whatever you dream up, it won't be anything like the real thing."

  "Oh, come on, tell me just a little bit about him. Just a rough description, just two words and I'll let my imagination fill in the blanks."