He’d spent hours on the backside of the apartment, waiting for the dead of night. He had heard her moans as she did nasty things with that man with her window open to let the night breeze into her bedroom. But when he had gone inside, she wasn’t there.
And now he was shot. It was her fault that he was shot. His arm hurt, and he’d lost so much blood that he was dizzy. Now he was lying in the woods, his shirt off and tied around his arm to stop the flow of blood from the flesh wound that was throbbing.
There had been so much blood.
It reminded him of all those beatings he had gotten after his mother abandoned him with his hateful grandparents. There had been blood then, too, and bruises all over his body. His grandfather had liked to put out his cigarettes on Xander’s skin, leaving his arms and legs pocked with cigarette burns. The beatings hadn’t been as bad as being locked in the cage though. Starved for days, screamed at by his angry, miserable, psychotic grandmother, who blamed him for the fact that Melanie had run off and left them all behind.
Everyone was out to get him. To hurt him. What he’d planned for Melanie was just a small taste of what she had left him to live through. He just wanted her to know what it was like to be naked and afraid and in pain and hungry and sure that nobody would ever, ever save you.
And then he was going to kill her, because evil like that shouldn’t exist in the world.
But Siobhan wanted to stop him. She had chased him and beaten him and tried to lock him up. She was trying to make him do it her way, and he would never, ever, ever do it.
He sat up, grinning to himself. “She thinks I’m a bad boy too. She doesn’t know how bad I can be though.” Xander giggled, clutching his injured arm to his side but, in the midst of his state of mental bliss, inspired by envisioning what he would do to Siobhan, he didn’t notice the pain anymore. “I’m going to show her how bad I can be, aren’t I? It’s going to be so fun. I just have to find her. I have to find her again, and I have to take her. She’s going to be mine, and I’ll show her. I’ll show her, show her, show her!” He got to his feet, almost dancing with anticipation. “She thinks she’s so strong! But is she as strong as me? Can she live through the things I did? No! No, no, no, no, NO!”
His balding head, covered by a few strands of sickly yellow hair, his beady eyes, and soft, pudgy face created a disturbing image, as Xander danced around the forest floor, giggling to himself as he continued to whisper affirmations for his new purpose.
“Oh, oh, oh,” he sang, his wound beginning to bleed again to create an even darker picture. “Oh, oh, oh, she’s going to die. They’re allllll going to die.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Julian
Julian was disoriented when he woke up in the hospital, nurses surrounding him as they put him on an IV, checked his vitals, and began a blood transfusion on his other arm. Although he knew that people were around him, talking to him, and touching him, when he first began to blink his eyes open, he didn’t understand where he was or who they were or what was happening. His mind felt fuzzy, and he started to move, the searing pain in his shoulder the first reminder of what had happened.
And then it all flooded back to him. Waking up and finding Siobhan missing, his fear, seeing Xander, the fight, being stabbed, shooting Xander, slipping into a vision.
A nurse smiled down at him prettily. “You’re all right, Mr. Giordano. We’ve got you all taken care of here. I’m glad you’re awake. You lost a lot of blood—a lot. But we’re getting that taken care of right now, and I want you to know that you’re going to be just fine. All you need is some patching up.” She smiled again, and he nodded thankfully to her as his mind continued to clear.
He looked over to his left, and his eyes locked with Siobhan’s. She was sitting there, staying out of the nurses’ way as they worked, but with her gaze trained intently on him. When he looked at her, emotion flickered over her face, but he didn’t know what it was.
“Where were you?”
The question seemed to cut her, and she bit her lip, turning her face away for a moment. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t understand her response, but he wasn’t sure if that was because of whatever pain medications they had him on, paired with the long span of unconsciousness he was still recovering from. “Why? Where were you?”
To his shock, tears filled her eyes for a moment, though they disappeared quickly. “Listen, I know that you’re upset with me, and I don’t blame you. But I can’t tell you where I was right now. All I can say is that I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I would never have left you if I had thought—”
Her voice broke off, and he realized that she thought he was asking her where she was because he was accusing her of something. “Siobhan…”
“Okay, Mr. Giordano,” another nurse said, interrupting him. “You’re looking better already, okay? Your vitals are strong, and we’re getting some more blood into you, and we’ve got you on an IV too, with some pain medication that’s going to make you feel real nice. The next step is for the doctor to come in and talk to you about what we’re going to do to stitch up that nasty wound, okay?” She patted his good shoulder. “You two just ring for us if you need something.”
The nurses walked out, leaving Siobhan and Julian alone in the room. She started to speak, but he didn’t let her.
“Siobhan, I don’t blame you. I was just worried about you. I woke up and you weren’t there, and it scared me because you’d left your phone and no note and I didn’t understand. That’s why I was asking. I was worried about you.”
She let out a sharp laugh. “You were worried about me? You’re the one in in a hospital bed after almost bleeding out on my apartment floor, and you were worried about me?”
“Yes.”
Siobhan groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “I was fine. I was…out. I just needed some space.”
“Space.”
She nodded. “Yeah. I went for a …walk. I didn’t think I would be gone long, and I thought you wouldn’t notice. It was stupid, and selfish, and I hate that I did it. It’s my fault that you’re lying there.”
“No. It’s Xander’s fault.”
Siobhan looked up at him sharply. “It was him then.”
Julian nodded. “Yeah. Was he not there when you found me? I shot him.”
“No,” she said, pulling her chair closer to his bed, her investigator mode engaged now. “He wasn’t there, but there was so much blood. At first, I thought it was all yours, but it has to be partly his as well. Tell me everything that happened. Every detail. I called in a favor with the police department to get them not to come in and insist on the questioning and report making for a minute. They’ve pointed out that I’m running out of favors quickly, but for right now, we’re still the only ones on this. So tell me what happened.”
He had to smile slightly. The pain was easing, though his head wasn’t any clearer thanks to the medication, and he felt mostly like himself. Siobhan, clearly, was still herself, the emotions that he had seen in her just moments ago pushed aside in the face of information about the case.
Julian told her everything, answering all of her questions in as much detail as he could remember. He told her about waking up and not finding her there, his thought process that led him to conclude that something—though who knew what—might have happened to her. Walking into the living room and seeing Xander there, every word that he could remember Xander saying, and all that he had done to try to protect himself from the madman who was more determined than skilled when it came to fighting.
“You pushed the couch?” Siobhan’s eyebrows arched. “Nice. Very Hollywood.”
“It worked,” he said, shrugging and then immediately regretting moving that part of his body. “It knocked him off balance. I figured you had a gun by the door. I mean, I have met you.”
“Good call on that one.”
“I just took a chance that it was loaded and not on the safety setting.”
Siobhan scrunched her nose. “Yeah. It probably should be, given all these safety issues people talk about with guns. But I live alone. No children. No pets. No anyone except me who might hurt themselves with it, and it seems kind of silly to keep a self-defense gun by your door that you have to load on the spot. Anyone who comes through my door without my permission can potentially be shot within seconds instead of minutes.”
“Well, I’m glad for it now,” he said, although he had never been a huge proponent of guns. Tonight had taught him though, that while there were many dangers associated with having guns around, they could also potentially save your life. “Anyway, I didn’t shoot to kill. I tried to just get him to back off with the weapon, and then when he came at me anyway, I shot wide. He’s crazy, and if the country’s laws say that you can’t kill someone who is mentally ill, then I’m not going to kill someone who is mentally ill either. I just needed to slow him down.”
She leaned over and kissed him hard. “As much as I wish that he wasn’t out on the loose, I can’t argue with that. You’re a good man, Julian, who thinks logically in a crisis. I don’t always do that.”
He smiled, taking her hand with his good one and squeezing. “Thanks. I don’t remember much after that point. His emotions got stronger, and they triggered me into a vision, and then I woke up here. I don’t know how long I was out.”
“I got back to the apartment around four thirty in the morning,” she told him. “If that gives you an idea.”
Julian let out a whistle. “I found you missing at two thirty. It felt like an eternity that he was there, grappling with me, but it was probably just minutes. I was out for more than an hour and a half. Is that normal?”
She nodded. “Yes. You went into your vision and were out with that for who knows how long. During that time you would have kept losing blood, and that was the real danger when I found you. The wound wasn’t deadly, but the loss of blood could have been.” Again that emotion flickered over her face. “If I had stayed away longer…”
“Shhh,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I’m fine. Getting really sleepy, but fine.”
“You’re on meds. You’re going to be sleeping a lot.”
He nodded, laying his head back on the pillow as he continued to stare at her. “Siobhan, that’s a really long walk you went on. I’m not blaming you. I just want to know why you needed so much …space. Because I didn’t want any space. None at all. I woke up reaching for you.”
She turned her head away again, and he knew that there was something she wasn’t telling him. The possibilities of what it could be frightened him, and he struggled against the impact of the pain meds to try to stay away long enough for her to tell him. But he was fading, and she wasn’t quick to speak. He pressed her hand in a silent request, but she just looked back at him, a sad smile on her face.
Getting up, she bent over his bed and kissed him softly. “Close your eyes. Get some rest.”
He didn’t want to, but his body insisted. His eyes began to droop, and he couldn’t remember why he needed to stay awake to keep looking at her. In mere moments, he was asleep, his last thought that Siobhan might not feel about him the way he knew he felt about her.
Chapter Thirty
Siobhan
Julian was going to be fine, and Siobhan couldn’t have been more relieved. But as she sat there in the hospital chair by his bed, watching over him as he slipped further into his medication-induced sleep, her mind was far from at ease. She had already called Grayson, who confessed that Xander had lured his attendant into feeling sorry for him for his involuntary commitment and manipulated her into giving him some alone time. During that time, he had orchestrated and carried out his escape. Grayson admitted that it had happened within an hour of Xander’s arrival, and that he hadn’t called Siobhan because he hadn’t known what to say to her.
She had hung up on him. Grayson was a good man, but the reason why they had never been more than friends with benefits was that he wasn’t the proactive go-getter that she needed in her life. And there had been no point in getting serious with him anyway, given that at the time, she had still very much expected to have an arranged match any day.
The fact that Xander was out loose in the world was not something that Siobhan wanted to think about. The man was unhinged, and more than that, he was a violent, murderous, vengeance-seeker who seemed to give little thought to self-preservation. The fact that he had broken into her house, no doubt intending to find her and not Julian, after she had taken him down with almost no effort earlier that afternoon indicated that he wasn’t fully rational.
And now he was out on the loose, possibly going after Melanie, or just as likely lying in wait for her again.
But it wasn’t just the fact that her safety was on the line that was troubling Siobhan. It was the fact that she had been out, flying around the skies, enjoying herself, while Julian was inches from death. And now, if and when she ever did tell him about who she really was, he would associate her dragon form with the night that she had abandoned him to be nearly murdered.
He’d said he didn’t blame her, and she didn’t disbelieve him, but the guilt still ate at her and undermined any hope she had that they would work past their very different lives and somehow try out a life together. How could he embrace who she was when it had almost cost him his life?
There was a light knock on the door, and Siobhan turned, hoping for the doctor but getting a better surprise instead. She stood up on her feet. “Ronan!”
He looked tired and worn as he gave her a slight smile and walked into the room, returning her tight hug. “Hey, you.”
“You look awful.”
“Thanks. You’ve looked better, but you have an excuse.”
She pulled back to look up into his face, noting the dark shadows under his eyes, the new lines in his forehead, and the downward tilt on either side of his mouth, like he was perpetually frowning. He was still the tall, dark, handsome man she knew and whom she had grown up with, but he looked like he had been beaten down by a force that he couldn’t keep resisting.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked, shaking her head. “I’m not joking around, Ronan. You look like shit. And I haven’t seen you in …weeks! You don’t answer my calls; you’re hardly ever in the office; and if you are, I just see the back of you as you’re coming or going. I’ve really been worried.”
“I know. You’ve sent Kean and Eamon both after me.” He tweaked her nose and sank into a chair. “Listen, enough about me.” He gestured toward Julian’s sleeping form. “Catch me up on what’s going on here. I got a text from Moira saying that you were here with a client who’s more than a client.”
Siobhan sat, too, wanting to tell Ronan about what was happening in her life, but too concerned about him to let the topic drop that quickly. “Yeah, I’ll tell you about it. But, seriously, Ronan. It’s not right what you’re doing, you know? You’re our leader. In the clan and at work, too. And you’ve disappeared on us. We’re worried, and we’re out of the loop, and maybe the others haven’t told you this, but you need to hear it. You need to tell us what’s going on with you, even if there’s nothing we can do. Even if it puts extra pressure on us. We’re all in this thing together, you know? We all have a stake in what you’re working on. And you can’t do it alone.”
Sighing, Ronan rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I knew that you wouldn’t let me get away with this, which is why I’ve been avoiding you.”
“You have?” The revelation was more hurtful than she would have expected. “Wow.”
He reached over and patted her arm. “Not like that, Siobhan. But I know you, remember? And I know you don’t pull any punches. I get that I’ve been MIA for way longer than I should have been, and yeah, it’s because I have some stuff going on that I don’t want to talk about. Mainly because I don’t really understand what’s happening myself yet, but I can tell you that what’s happening does scare me.”
Siobhan reached over and put her hand on his arm.
“Ronan …”
“Oh, don’t look like that,” he chided, patting her hand. “It’s fine. I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a situation where…maybe some of my inquiries have upset some people. I don’t know. But I’m handling it.”
“That’s all you can tell me?”
He nodded. “Yeah. For right now. Because it’s my job to keep all four of you guys safe, and you have to trust me to do it. Right?”
Sighing, Siobhan withdrew her hand and shook her head at him. “Right. But just so you know, I don’t have to like it.”
Ronan smiled. “No. You don’t.”
“Are you having any fun at all?” she asked. “What about the girl you were seeing for a while?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “She’s nice.”
“That doesn’t sound…emphatic.”
“It’s not.” Ronan leaned back in his chair, settling his palms on his thighs. “She’s a nice person. Not the one. We see each other now and then. There are a few women I see now and then, but it’s not that frequent anymore because of everything else going on.” He smiled at her again, arching an eyebrow. “Stop trying to distract me with innocuous questions to get the information you want to get. I know that trick. Now. Tell me about your guy.”
Siobhan scrunched her nose over getting called out, but then looked back at Julian, watching him as he slept peacefully, his shoulder bandaged and clean. “What do you want to know about him? He has psychic visions, and he came to me with a murder he had seen.”
“I know the basics,” Ronan told her. “I have been keeping somewhat in the loop, even if I’ve been on the downlow. But tell me about who he is. Moira tells me he’s special.”
“Yeah. He is,” Siobhan agreed, still watching Julian. “He drives me crazy. We had a really rough first meeting, and we didn’t like each other at all. But…something changed.”
“Do you love him?”
She looked back at Ronan, frowning. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve known him less than a week.”
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