by Ward, Quinn
“Come on, slow pokes.” Jayden stomped over to us, rolling his eyes once he was close enough to see why we were taking our time. “If we don't get our asses over there now, we're going to have to wait in line and Chase is already getting tired.”
“Chase doesn’t seem to be dragging,” Daniel pointed out. “I think you’re the one who’s going to have a meltdown if we have to wait.”
“Yeah, because I don’t want to wind up on a wagon filled with families and overtired, whiny brats,” Jayden admitted. I couldn’t blame him there. One of the only things I wasn’t looking forward to about tonight was the kids. It wasn’t that I had anything against little ones, but I was enjoying my time away from my younger siblings.
“Hey, don't talk about Zach that way,” Matt quipped. Zach stuck out his tongue, and Matt made a similar gesture. “You know I'm right. You're grumpy when you get tired.”
“He’s always grumpy,” Chase added. I opened my mouth to remind them to be nice, but Zach spoke up for himself first.
“Yeah, well maybe I'm trying to turn over a new leaf,” he insisted. “It’s not like I wanted to be a jerk.”
I slid my hand to the small of Zach’s back, digging in my fingertips slightly, silently telling him to let it go for the time being. It might still take a while before he let his guard down and stopped feeling guilty.
The seven of us made our way to the barn, where a familiar looking brunette was selling tickets. He’d been around infrequently enough, I couldn’t be certain if I was actually seeing my phantom roommate or someone who vaguely resembled him. Even though it was his choice to never be around, it didn’t sit well with me that he was truly the odd man out. “Holy shit, is that…?”
Jayden tracked my gaze. “I think it might be, but who knows. It's not like he's ever been around.”
“Hey, Justice,” I greeted him. The guy’s eyes widened, confirming that it was who I thought. I couldn't remember the last time he'd been at the suite. It was safe to say this was officially the last place I expected to see someone like him. He'd always struck me as a bit spoiled and pretentious; the type of guy who wouldn't dare getting mud—or even worse—on his designer label shoes.
“Oh, hey, guys.” His cheeks turned a bright enough red they seem to glow, even in the low light of the torches and lanterns lining the path. He didn't make eye contact as he counted the number in our party. “Seven tonight?”
“Yeah. Seven,” Jayden confirmed. He was in a foul enough mood, I waited for him to ask Justice what was up and why he was practically a ghost. Jayden wasn't exactly known for being discreet.
“That'll be fifty-six dollars,” Justice responded, his tone flat and professional. It shouldn't have stung, because we'd never gotten to know the eighth roommate in our suite, but it did. I wondered what was going on with him, and if he was in some sort of trouble that we should have realized sooner.
He handed over our tickets. “Here you go. The line forms right over to your left.”
“Thanks,” I said with a wave. Something gnawed at my gut, insisting that I hang back and check in on him. As nice as it was to have a room essentially to myself, if he was in some sort of trouble, I wanted to help him out. That was what we did. Even if he was a stranger, he was one of us by virtue of his housing assignment.
I waved for Daniel and Zach to go on with the rest of the guys. I leaned against the split rail fence until Justice had a lull in business. “Hey, so I know it’s none of my business, but you doing good?”
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” he responded defensively. Again, he refused to make eye contact. I didn't care how dedicated he was to his job, sorting and bank facing money wasn't that entertaining.
“I haven't seen you around the suite. If you don't come back soon, the rest of the guys are threatening to turn our room into a game room,” I warned him. I doubted they were serious, but twice I’d heard them complaining that it wasn't fair that ‘the kid’ had a room of his own when they all had to share. Because there was some sort of weird, ‘don't ask, don't tell’ policy, in the suite—even though everyone knew who was fucking everyone else—I hadn’t pointed out that sharing the bedrooms seemed to be working just fine for everyone so far.
“I might be back after the holidays.” Justice shrugged. “Sorry I haven't been a good roommate.”
That was…odd. His shoulders hitched up to his ears, and he seemed to curl in on himself. I recognized that behavior. He was scared of something. But what? It sure as hell couldn’t be us.
“I think I should be the one apologizing to you,” I told him. “If you've got something going on, you can talk to any of us. You know that, right?”
Justice nodded, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth.
“I mean it, Justice. Do you need help?” I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me off. Other than his outward appearance, nothing about the man before me resembled the cocky, entitled shithead who I’d seen a few times the first week of school.
“No. I’ll be fine,” he assured me. “You better get going before the rest of the guys leave without you.”
I tracked his gaze toward where my suitemates and my boyfriends were, near the front of the line, waiting to get on a wagon that was currently unloading. “Yeah, I guess I should. But I mean it. If you need me, call me.”
Before I left, I scribbled my cell phone number on a scrap of paper and shoved it into his hand. “I know there's something going on, and I'm not going to force you to tell me. But I hope that maybe you will, eventually. Those guys over there, they give a shit, too. I know it’s cliche as fuck, but we’re a weird little family and we take care of our own.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” Justice responded dismissively. “Go. Have fun with your roommates.”
I took a step back and stopped. They were his roommates, too. He should be with us. But he was working. It wasn’t our fault he wasn’t part of the suite bonding time. Besides, we couldn’t have invited him, even if we’d wanted to, since he’d never given us a way to reach him if anything went wrong. “Hey, don’t be a stranger. We’ll probably have more nights like this, and it’d be cool to get to know you.”
Justice waved me away. He thought I didn’t notice the way he glanced over his shoulder, shrinking even more as the man I assumed was the boss, stormed over and started berating him. I didn’t want to leave but forcing my way into his life would be rude.
“Everything okay?” Daniel asked as I hopped over the fence to stand with the guys. Someone chastised me for cutting in line and Zach flipped them off. I was officially too drained to point out that the gesture was rude, and he would have gone off if we’d been in that guy’s shoes. I curled into Daniel’s side, not wanting to burden Zach with what had just happened. Daniel held me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.
“Yeah, I feel bad that he’s not with us, you know?”
“Don’t. He’s the one who hasn’t made an effort to get to know anyone,” Daniel insisted. “If he comes around, we won’t hold it against him, but he has to make the next move. You can’t fix everyone.”
“Yeah, I know,” I grumbled, knowing it didn’t mean I had to like it.
20
Daniel
I tossed my phone onto the bed, reminding myself it wouldn't do me any good to get pissed off at my mom. It wasn't her fault the property management company had raised the lot rent again and she had to take on a second job to make sure she could keep the shady trailer that had been home since I was a kid and my dad skipped out.
“Everything okay?” Zach closed the lid of his laptop and flopped onto the mattress next to me. “What's going on, babe?”
A shiver raced up my spine at the term of endearment. Since the fall festival, Zach had been much more open with his feelings. Knowing our friends didn't have a problem with the three of us being together, as long as no one got hurt, seemed to break down his walls.
“Mom’s working all week,” I told him. “Looks like TV dinner for Thanksgiving for me. I know I’m a comple
te asshole for being upset, but this was always the one holiday we spent together. Christmas was never a big deal to us, and I got used to her picking up the holiday hours so other people could be with their families. But Thanksgiving and Black Friday were our time. It just sucks, you know?”
“I don't want you being alone,” Zach insisted, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. “Why don't you come home with me?”
“Wouldn't your dad have a problem with that?” I’d resigned myself to Zach keeping school and home life in two boxes, kept as far away from one another as possible. Colin and I had talked about it a bit, and we weren’t going to pressure him into anything before he was ready. Colin’s family was idyllic in comparison to mine, but mine was a fairy tale compared to Zach’s. From the way Zach talked, his dad would probably go to his grave without knowing his son was gay.
“Would it be a problem for you if we didn't tell him that your my boyfriend?” He choked on the suggestion as if it physically pained him to say it.
I swallowed back my gut reaction, that I wasn't sure if I could hide how I felt about him. We all knew what an ass Zach's dad was. And I wasn't sure it was a good idea for me to spend a long weekend with the man who caused one of my boyfriends to padlock himself in the closet for the first two decades of his life.
My mom might have made her fair share of mistakes throughout my life, but the one thing she always made damn sure of was that I knew she loved me. It pissed me off that Zach's dad couldn't see what an awesome man he'd raised.
“You don't have to if you don't want,” Zach backtracked. “I just thought it would be nice to spend more time with you. And if you're home alone, you know I'm just going to sit at my house, getting upset about how much I wish you were there with me. So, really, you’d be doing everyone a favor if you kept me company.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” I lied. “And it's not like he has to know we’re sleeping together, right?”
“We’re doing a hell of a lot more than that,” Zach growled, flipping me over and pinning me to the bed. “When you say we’re sleeping together, it feels like this is just the world's longest hookup, and I don't like it.”
“You never told us you wanted it to be anything more serious than that,” I pointed out. None of us had really put a label on what we were doing. I knew I called them my boyfriends, and Colin made no secret that this was serious for him, but Zach had always been tight lipped, changing the subject whenever we got close to a serious conversation.
“Well, I do,” he ground out. “You and Colin are everything to me. I'm probably screwing up by not waiting until you're both here to say it, but I love both of you and, even if it means pretending we’re still just roommates, I want you there with me for Thanksgiving.”
Well shit, when he said it like that, there was no way I could turn him down. Zach—the guy who shit all over anyone who was openly gay just a few months ago—was damn near poetic about how he felt about us.
“I want that, too,” I admitted. I hated the idea of Zach going home to spend the holiday with his dad, but I had it had seemed inevitable. Zach might have had a toxic relationship with his old man, but they were all each other had. Then again, that wasn't the case for Zach anymore. He had us and, every day, we worked hard to make sure he knew we weren't going anywhere.
“I love you, too,” I admitted. “And I don't think Colin would be upset knowing that we said it to each other before telling him. Maybe we can find a fun way to show him how much he means to us.”
“By fun way, you mean a sexy way, right?” Zach's eyes glinted. I knew this was a coping mechanism for him. Even before we'd all gotten together, he'd always tried turning to sex whenever things got too heavy.
“Yeah, baby,” I assured him. “We'll find a good, sexy way to say, ‘we love you, Colin’. But it has to be something really special, because I don't know if we would have gotten our heads out of our asses without him.”
“Probably not.” Zach's expression fell. “I can't believe what a dumbass I was for so long.”
“Hey, don’t you talk about the man I love that way,” I scolded him. “You weren’t raised in a house where it was okay for you to be true to yourself. But now, you don't have to hide anymore. Even if your dad turns his back on you when he finds out, we’ll always be there.”
“You really mean that, don't you?” Zach’s eyes shone with unshed tears. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth to say more, then closed it.
“Of course I do. I don't know how it's supposed to work, but if anyone can make a relationship like ours last, it's the three of us. I don't ever want to spend a day without the two of you by my side.”
“Same,” Zach admitted. “Do you think Colin's going to be upset that we’re spending Thanksgiving together and he's going home?”
“Are you kidding me? I think he'll be relieved to know you're not walking back into your dad's house without someone there for backup.”
Zach bristled. “I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me.”
“I know you don't.” I slid my hand down the side of his face. I leaned in, pressing my lips to his. “That doesn't mean you don't deserve to know someone has your back. Always.”
“Now, let's get ready. Colin's going to be home from class soon, and if you and I are spending the rest of the week together, I'd like to have dinner with him tonight.”
* * *
We never did figure out how to tell Colin how we felt about one another. This morning, while he was in the shower, we made a deal that we’d figure it out over the weekend and tell him first thing when we got home.
Colin probably thought he did a good job hiding that he was upset about the two of us spending the holiday together while he went home to play the role of the disappointing son. On the way to student parking, he promised that his less than enthusiastic response had nothing to do with us, other than that he wished he could bail on his family, too.
I hated that his family didn't see how amazing he was. To outsiders, he was the lucky one. His parents were still married over twenty-five years later, he had a house full of siblings, and yet, as we said our goodbyes, I couldn't ignore the loneliness radiating off of him.
“It's only a few days,” I reminded him. I curled my fingers around the nape of his neck, not giving a damn who might be watching. “If you need us, all you have to do is call.”
“I'll be fine,” he insisted. “It's going to be weird sleeping in a bed alone.”
“Maybe, but at least you won’t have to worry about Zach kneeing you in the kidneys,” I teased, hoping to lighten the mood. It didn’t work.
Colin leaned back, grasping my shoulders. “Protect him. Don't let his dad close him off again.”
“I will,” I promised. I wasn't sure why, but I didn’t think Zach needed my protection this time. Over the past few weeks, he’d grown more comfortable with who he was. I’d meant it when I said I was okay with his dad thinking we were just friends, but within an hour, I felt something shift in Zach. I wanted to tell him it might not be a good idea to reveal his truth during the holidays, but once he made up his mind, all I could do was support his decision.
The holidays were never a good time for anything that might permanently alter a family relationship.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going?” Colin hollered as Zach opened the driver’s side door of his car. He faltered, catching himself right before he clipped his chin on the top of the door. “You don’t get to leave me without at least a hug.”
Zach beamed and his entire body relaxed as he jogged over to where Jayden and Chase were loading up Jayden’s car. “Sorry. I’m not used to having anyone to say goodbye to.”
“Not goodbye.” The tenderness in Colin’s voice created a lump of emotion in my throat. Fuck, I loved these men. At first, I was certain there would be jealousy to deal with, but watching Colin whisper something meant only for Zach, the only thing I felt was gratitude. “It’s only going to be a few days.”
“But I don’t want it to be any days,” Zach complained, his voice cracking more with every word. Our poor, sweet boy. I joined them, placing a hand on each of their backs. Zach leaned his head on my shoulder. “I’m not supposed to say it yet, but I can’t wait any longer. I love you, Colin. And I’m going to miss the hell out of you.”
Colin’s eyes grew wide as he swallowed hard. He looked to me, as if waiting for some sort of reaction. I nodded toward Zach. He was the one who needed our attention and reassurance.
“Fuck, baby. I love you, too. I have for a while, but thought I’d scare you off if I said anything,” he admitted before pressing a chaste kiss to Zach’s forehead. Then, he looked up at me. “And you. Don’t think you’re second best because I didn’t say it to you first. I love you, Daniel. And I’m trusting you to take care of him while you’re gone.”
“I don’t need—”
Colin cut off Zach’s protest with a searing kiss. He twisted his fingers through the back of Zach’s hair, holding his head firmly as he devoured our boyfriend’s mouth. By the time they broke the kiss, I was painfully hard. I turned away to adjust myself, giving them a few moments of privacy.
I had to smile when Colin essentially repeated what I’d told Zach before. “We know. You don’t need to be protected. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have someone there to look out for you. And that someone is Daniel since I can’t be there.”
“Fine, but if I find out the two of you think I can’t deal with shit on my own, I’m going to kick your asses,” he warned us.
Colin wrapped his arms tightly around Zach’s back and kissed the side of his head. “I wouldn’t expect any less. Now go, before I throw both of you in the back of Jayden’s car and kidnap you to see what a chaotic Thanksgiving looks like.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing,” Zach muttered as I said, “Tell your folks we can go there for Christmas if they’re up for it.”