by Ward, Quinn
“You know I'm right. She's going to kick your ass when she finds out that you left them on their own when they could've been with us.” My brother was way too giddy about the idea of Mom scolding me about how to properly be with someone.
“But they couldn't. Zach had to go home. I don't really get it, but he was adamant that his old man would be upset if he bailed on him this week,” I explained. “And I swear, if you tell Mom, I’m going to kick your ass.”
“No, you’re not,” Jayden insisted. He glared at me in the rearview mirror and I rolled my eyes. Whatever. It’s not like I was serious about it. “And it sounds like his old man needs a swift kick in the ass. If he fucked Zach's head that much, maybe he deserves to be alone with the gas station turkey sandwich for Thanksgiving. The old one that's out of date and gives him a wicked case of the shits.”
“Damn, don't hold back.” I had to laugh at the very graphic description of what Jayden thought Zach's dad deserved.
“I'm serious. While part of it’s on him for how he behaved, knowing that it was because his old man made him hate himself… That shit ain't cool.” Jayden twisted his hands around the steering wheel tight enough his knuckles started turning white.
“No, it's not,” I agreed. “I’m just glad he finally told us what was going on so we could help him.”
While Jayden pulled off the interstate and filled the gas tank, I fired off a quick text to Daniel.
Missing you guys already. Hope everything's going smooth there.
The conversation bubble appeared and disappeared a few times before a response came through.
I'm not sure I'd call it smooth, but no one's thrown hands yet.
Shit. That didn't sound good at all. I stepped out of the car, motioning toward the edge of the parking lot so Jayden knew where to find me once he and Chase were done inside the store. I held my breath as I waited for Daniel to answer the phone. “Hey, what's going on?”
“Nothing serious,” Daniel responded. “I'm sorry if I worried you.”
“So, what's wrong then? You sounded like something happened in your text. Is Zach’s dad being a dick to you guys?”
“Man, I have to tell you…” Daniel let out a deep breath. “His dad's a real piece of work. He hasn’t said anything specific, but he keeps giving me the hairy eyeball. It’s like he thinks that if he stares long enough, I’ll crack and spill all of Zach’s secrets.”
“Do you think it's going to be okay for you guys to be there all weekend? I don’t want Zach working himself into a bad place.” Hearing that things were already rocky didn’t bode well for four days around the big jerk. “If you want, I can give you my mom's address. When you have a family as big as ours, it's not a huge deal to add a couple more folding chairs around the table.”
“No, I think we’ll be okay.” There was a long pause across the line. “I miss you, Colin. It's weird because I didn't think it would feel this way being in a relationship with somebody.”
“I feel the same way,” I admitted. “At least the two of you have each other.”
“Yeah, but in some ways, that just makes an even bigger hole where you're supposed to be,” he admitted somberly. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and pull him against my chest until the sadness melted away.
“Damn, when did you get to be such a sweet talker?” I teased. I sniffled a couple of times and swallowed around the lump in my throat.
“Screw you. I am smooth as hell and you know it,” Daniel quipped. “Anyway, Zach’s dad wanted to talk to him, so I’m hiding out in his bedroom while they’re downstairs. I'll give you a call once he and his dad have hashed their shit out. I think it'll do him some good to hear from you.”
“Call whenever is good for you. I don’t care what time it is; if either of you need to talk, I’ll sneak away for you.” I nearly hung up when I brought the phone back to my ear. “I love you, Daniel. Make sure you take good care of Zach.”
“And who's going to take care of me?” Daniel teased. I could almost see his dramatic, kissable pout. I knew he didn't mean that and was trying to subtly point out that I was more than just a bit obsessed with making sure he kept Zach under control this weekend. I couldn't help it. I felt like I was shirking my responsibilities by not being there with them.
“Baby, you know I'll take very good care of you when we get back on Sunday night,” I purred. It wasn’t the right time to tease him, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted him to know he would be rewarded for putting up with Zach’s dad.
“Colin,” Daniel whined. “How in the hell am I supposed to go out there and pretend I’m not thinking about what you'll do to me?”
“If you want, you could always take it out on Zach's ass,” I suggested. “It'd be even hotter if you call me when you do it. Facetime, so I can watch. I'll tell you exactly what I want you to do to him. It'll be just like when we’re home.”
“Not just like it,” Daniel complained. “Fuck, I wish you were here.”
“So do I, babe. But it's only going to be a few days,” I reminded him. “Tell him he's not allowed to go to jail, no matter how much his dad pisses him off. None of us have bail money, and that would make Christmas hella awkward if I have to borrow money from my parents.”
“I'll try, but no promises. Love you, Colin.”
“You too, babe.” This time I did hang up. My heart ached, wishing I was there to hold both of them.
I couldn't go another mile. Jayden and Chase were right. My place was wherever they were. I leaned against the trunk of the car while Jayden and Chase grabbed drinks and snack food.
Jayden came out first. “Everything okay?”
“How would you feel about a detour?” I kicked at the loose gravel in the asphalt as I worried my lip. A real man would make eye contact, but after all the shit Jayden had said to me, I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want to see what a stupid idea he thought this was.
I was not expecting Jayden to flash me a brilliant smile. “Finally got your head out of your ass, huh?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Then it's a damn good thing your brother’s currently talking to your mom, letting her know we won't be there until later.” Well shit. Funny how they knew this was a turning point, literally, before I did.
“I owe you guys.” I pulled Jayden in for a quick hug. “And no hard feelings about earlier. I get what you were doing, even if you were being a dick about it.”
“Yeah, well let's just say I’ve figured out the best way to get through to you,” Jayden quipped. I gave him a playful shove, and he smirked. “You can fool them a hell of a lot easier than you can fool me. I see you, Colin, even if you try to keep your shit buried.”
“Just don't tell Mom, okay?” I pleaded. The last thing I needed was her coming at me. Somehow, the nagging was preferable.
Jayden held out his hand, palm up. “My silence can be bought. What's keeping her in the dark about the best way to make you crack worth to you?”
“Not that much,” I scoffed. “I'm just a broke college kid, don't you know?”
“Yeah, and you're also a nineteen-year-old with a liquor cabinet most people would be jealous of,” Jayden teased. “Seriously, your talents are wasted at that pizza place. You should come talk to my uncles about working at one of the clubs. They could use a bartender like you since they haven’t been able to poach one from Club 83.”
“But I'm not twenty-one,” I pointed out.
“Good news is, you only have to be eighteen to serve as long as there's another licensed bartender on premises.”
Holy shit. I hadn't even thought about that. “But wait, I won't have to do anything freaky, will I? This isn't like a kinky version of Coyote Ugly, right?”
Jayden tapped his index finger against his bottom lip. “No, but I might have to bring that up to Jack. That's a hell of a good idea. It’s definitely unique, and he’s a sucker for shit no one else is doing.”
“I was kidding.”
“Doesn’t matter,”
Jayden said dismissively as he got back into the car. “You go to him for the interview and tell him about that, and you’re going to find yourself running a club before you’re old enough to drink. That’s what happened with the guy who’s running The Lodge now. He used the bar as a class project and Jack was so impressed, he made it come to life.”
Jayden got on the road as soon as we were all buckled up. He didn’t bother asking for directions, which was odd because everyone said Zach worked hard to keep school and home totally separate. “You know where you’re going?”
“Yeah, Daniel gave me Zach’s address at the end of last school year, but don't tell him that,” Chase explained. “He knew we’d be closer if things went bad. Until recently, we didn’t know what was going on there, but we knew his home life wasn’t a good one.”
“And he doesn’t like knowing people are trying to take care of him,” I added. It made sense, and I was grateful they’d all made sure he’d be okay, even when they were pissed at him.
“So, how are we doing this?” Jayden asked as we started seeing signs for Linwood. “Are you going to let Daniel know you're on your way or just ambush them with the surprise?”
“I don’t know. Which you think would be better?” Turning around and going to my parents’ place was sounding like the best idea. This was a lot of pressure on Zach whether he knew ahead of time or not. And I didn’t know what I’d do if he turned me away at the door. I’d understand, but it would hurt like a bitch.
“They’re your boyfriends,” Jayden pointed out. “How about you give it some thought and let me know. It's going to take us close to an hour to get there.”
“Are you sure you don't mind? This is a hell of a side-trip for you.” Even if they dropped me off at the curb without turning off the car, it was going to be after dinner time before they got home. And they were going to have to answer to Mom about why they didn’t have me in the car with them. I felt guilty about that, but not enough to call her myself. She’d be upset or ask questions, and I wasn’t ready to deal with either.
“Yeah, it's all good,” Jayden reassured me. “We’ll call it me trying to show you guys I’m not going to fuck with you too hard.”
“Don’t suppose you could just lay off the fuckery for a bit, could you?”
“Oh, hell no,” he scoffed. “Once we get back to school, I fully plan to make sure they know they owe me for delivering you to them.”
“Lovely.” I rested my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes. It wasn’t easy to drive out all the worst-case scenarios for the rest of the afternoon.
22
Zach
"Who in the hell is that?” Dad asked as he waited for me at the top of the stairs. Of course, he couldn’t step off the porch to greet his only child after not seeing me since the end of summer. No, that would be far too normal to expect from him.
“Good to see you too,” I responded sarcastically. “Daniel, the grouchy old man is my dad, Philip. Dad, this is Daniel, my roommate.”
We hadn't even gotten our bags out of the trunk, and already I felt like I was going to be sick. Reducing him to nothing more than the person who slept on the other side of the room felt wrong. I wanted to drop the bomb right then and there, telling him Daniel was one of the men I was stupid in love with. At least then, we could jump back in the car if he acted like an ass.
“Didn't tell me you were bring in somebody home with you,” Dad grumbled.
“Just found out last night. His mom has to work all weekend and there's nobody else at home,” I explained, hoping he would see how similar Daniel and I were in some ways.
Except, we weren't really. If the roles had been reversed and I was headed home with him, I had no doubt his mom would wrap me up in a warm hug and coddle me until it was time to leave. She was cool like that. Hell, I'd probably seen her more during the school year than I'd seen my own old man.
“Don't got food to feed another mouth,” he complained. At least he had the decency to look embarrassed by his outburst. “It's nothing personal, son. Just the money's tight around here, what with Zachary thinking he needed to go to school as far from home as possible without getting charged out of state admission.
“No offense taken,” Daniel reassured him. “And I promise, I won't eat much. I can chip in for dinner if it helps.”
I glared at him. No way in hell was he paying his own way for a holiday meal. He was my guest. I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and slapped a few twenties in Dad's hand. “There. That ought to cover our portion.”
“Where the hell did this come from?” Of course, he couldn’t just thank me like a normal human being. Fuck. I hated being here.
“I told you I was getting a job.”
“And I told you, you needed to focus on your school. No sense getting a fancy degree if your grades are shit.”
“Well, as it turns out, it's possible to do both,” I responded sarcastically. “Did you plan on moving away from the door or are we going to have to go out to the garage to get the tent?”
“No need to be snotty,” he scolded me. “Can’t expect a man to not wonder what's going on when his boy shows up with an unexpected houseguest.” Something in the way he his gaze flicked between us had my stomach churning. I didn't know how, but I just knew in that moment that he knew. Had he always known? Was he going to kick us out? Is that why he hadn't invited us inside?
“Like Zach said, Sir, he took pity on me when I told him I was going to be home alone this week,” Daniel explained, trying to extinguish the flames between me and the old man.
I couldn't help it. I was so damn tired. Who in the hell was he to assume there was anything going on between us, just because I'd never brought anyone home with me? Hell, if anything, that should reassure him that Daniel was just a friend.
But he wasn't. Not by a long shot.
I'm sorry, I mouthed to Daniel as I passed by him on my way into the house. He gave me a sad smile. I hated that we hadn't even gotten inside before he found out what a complete dick my dad was.
“My room’s upstairs,” I told him, pretending my dad wasn't behind us, probably watching for some sort of touch or change of tone in my voice that would confirm my secret.
“He can sleep in the guest room,” my dad offered.
“No need, Sir. We share a room at school. It's no bother at all. I'll just roll out a sleeping bag if Zach has one,” Daniel offered. “I wouldn’t want to put you out by making you have to do the extra washing after we leave.”
“’Course he has a sleeping bag,” my dad scoffed. “What kind of man doesn't have a sleeping bag?”
A lot of men, I wanted to tell him. Not everybody needed to prove their masculinity by owning a collection of camping gear they never fucking used. But I chose to keep my mouth shut. I promised Daniel I wouldn't do anything stupid, and I was really close to making the dumbest mistake possible.
As soon as we were in my room and the door was shut and locked behind us, I curled my arms around Daniel’s back. “I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to see him like this.”
Daniel took a step back, bracing his hands on my shoulders. “You can knock that shit off right the hell now,” he scolded me. “It isn't your fault he's being an ass. And you warned me it might be like this.”
“Still, doesn't mean I like that you're seeing it.” I buried my face against his neck, inhaling deeply to center myself. I needed the reminder that life wasn’t always the way it was here at home. In a few days, we’d leave, and things could get back to normal.
“And I don't like the idea of you having to put up with it all, and yet, here we are. Now, are we going to get out that sleeping bag?”
“You're not really going to use it, are you?”
“Not a chance in hell,” he promised me. “But your old man doesn't need to know that. We’re going to set it up to keep up appearances. I didn't want him to push the idea of me sleeping in a different room.”
“I wouldn't let that happen,” he insi
sted, even though I had no clue how I would have explained needing Daniel close to me at night. The last thing I wanted was to hear Dad berating me for being soft.
“I'm sure you wouldn't have.” Daniel combed his fingers through my hair. “How are you holding up?”
“About as well as can be expected,” I told him. “I wish it was possible to fast-forward to the end of the weekend. I want to go home. I want you and Colin to make me forget all of this. I hate feeling like this. Hate being here. Want to go home where everything feels right.”
God, I sounded so damn needy. What would happen when they got tired of me?
“That'll happen, you can count on it,” Daniel promised me. “And I'll be sure to tell him what a sweet boy you were for me, so he knows.”
“What kind of reward?” I asked, perking up slightly. I no longer felt weak because of how easily swayed I was by their surprises. It wasn’t about what they gave to me, but the knowledge that I’d pleased them that was the real prize.
“I suppose that would depend on how well behaved you can be. I know this is hard for you, but we just have to get through it, right?”
“Right.” I let out a deep breath as Daniel wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I could do this. I wasn't alone. I had Daniel here to remind me I wasn't worthless when my dad insisted I was. I was just about to suggest we lay down for a few minutes when my dad pounding on the door echoed through the room.
I jumped back as if he would somehow bust the lock and barge in on us. Daniel stiffened.
“I'm sorry. Give me time. Remember what I said earlier,” I begged him.
“It's fine.” Daniel combed his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and allowed myself a second to just feel.
My dad pounded on the door again. “Zach, why don't you meet me in the kitchen,” he suggested.
I let out a bark of laughter.
Yeah, as if I had a choice. That wasn't a suggestion, and if Daniel hadn't been here, he wouldn't have been nearly so polite. “I suppose, I'd better go down and see what he wants.”