AOL opened, and the familiar male voice quietly announced, “Welcome!” followed by “You’ve got mail!” Lily could see from the header that it was from Owen; the subject read, “Re: No apology necessary.”
mrs lily diotallevi - can’t i just call you lily? please? (i’m married too) about sunday... don’t give it a second thought... i completely understand about having bad days... it happens to all of us. i have forgotten all about it... well, not completely. i haven’t forgotten about our painfully brief encounter, or about how lovely it was to have service enhanced by your beautiful face, and by the ever so fleeting glance into your eyes.
owen
A warmth surged through Lily’s body. He had called her beautiful. “... how lovely it was to have service enhanced by your beautiful face... how lovely it was to have service enhanced by your beautiful face...” Lily read the words over and over again, the computer screen casting a blue-white glow on her face as she sat tucked into the corner of the dark living room. She felt silly having signed her note as Mrs. Lily Diotallevi. It was so old-fashioned. Her mother would have a fit if she knew. Hell, Grandma Whitacre would have a fit, too. She hit the reply button.
Dear Owen,
Thank you for your understanding, although I assure you that my eyes are green, not red as they were that day. Talk to you soon.
Lily
Lily clicked on the “send” button with less angst this time, and as she sat reading Owen’s note yet once again, the familiar voice announced a new email. Owen was sitting at home writing to her at that exact same moment. The realization set her heart pounding. She opened the note.
hey... what are you doing up so late on a school night?
o
:)
Dear Owen,
I don’t know - I just can’t sleep. Got stuff on my mind, I guess. I was thinking of faking some sort of illness so I could stay home from school tomorrow. Do you know of one that will get me a day off, but that won’t actually make me feel sick?
Lily
P.S. What is that little thing you put after your name?
id like to play hooky with you tomorrow
ps it’s a smile, the colon is the eyes and the parenthesis is the mouth
Dear Owen:
I love your smile! I didn’t realize what it was - how fun!!!!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
i love your smile too
wanna chat
Before Lily could write back and tell him that she didn’t know how to chat - although she’d watched Joseph with his friends a couple times - a small window opened up in the upper right corner of her computer screen.
hey, not-sleeping beauty
Lily placed her cursor in the bottom portion of the window and typed. The conversation displayed on the screen.
Hey! Lily typed.
so whats got you up this lovely evening, wrote Owen.
I don’t know. Stuff.
hmmm sounds important... just kidding
You’re right - it’s not important.
so is everyone else asleep at your house, wrote Owen.
Yes. Even the dog is snoring. Lily wondered why he never used uppercase letters, or even punctuation for that matter.
what kind of dog do you have
A Basenji, Lily replied.
i’ve never heard of that kind
It’s a purebred. They don’t bark.
they don’t bark? what good is a dog that doesnt bark? what if someone breaks in?
Lily considered telling him that Joe practically bought the dog off the back of a truck, and that she was supposed to be a watchdog. She decided against it, mostly because she wanted to avoid the topics of husbands and wives altogether.
Well, she DOES bite!
lol
What is lol?, typed Lily.
laughing out loud
Oh! I’m still learning to use this computer. We just got it.
youre doing great so far
Thanks. Why don’t you use any capital letters?
i like to break the rules when i can... its very freeing - so whats the dogs name
Wishes
what kind of a name is that for a dog
Ha ha - the kind that’s chosen by a five-year-old.
i have my own wishes wanna hear
Lily hesitated.
Sure.
when we were talking after service the other day, i was wishing i could kiss you
The words pulsated on the screen. They seemed to reach out to Lily and brush themselves up against her. She stared at them for what seemed like hours.
are you still there
Yes. I’m here.
i probably shouldnt have told you that... damn. i have lots to do to set up for a morning session tomorrow so ill say goodnight now
Lily wanted to continue the conversation, but her fingers were frozen in place. She wanted to tell him she wished she could kiss him too, and that she wanted to run her fingers through his thick curly hair, bury her face into his neck and take in his scent, feel his skin against hers.
OK. Good night.
The system message displayed, “RecExec is no longer online.”
For the next two days, Lily logged into AOL whenever she could grab a few minutes alone, and each time she looked for an email, or to see if Owen was online. She couldn’t eat, and was having trouble concentrating. She replayed their chat repeatedly in her mind, each time conjuring up the delightful sense of danger and thrill it aroused in her. Her whole body seemed to be electric with it lately, much to Joe’s delight; she was more receptive to his advances than she’d been in all the years they’d been together. The sensation of wanting to have sex, of longing for it, craving it, was unfamiliar, and it frightened her. Surely Joe would notice. She wondered what he would do if he knew that each time, she’d been making love to another man in her imagination.
As the days passed, the memory of the chat faded, as did the tingling and the feverish distraction. The prospect of never feeling that way again was a terrifying relief. After three days, she found him.
I’ve been looking for you, Lily typed.
hey how are you
I’m OK. How are you?
i feel like an idiot, wrote Owen.
Why?
the other night... i am just very attracted to you and thought i sensed something from you too
Like gasoline on a smoldering fire, Owen’s words set Lily’s body ablaze
You did.
really
Yes. I wanted to kiss you too.
you said wanted... past tense
Want.
we should make that happen. soon
Absolutely.
you know i find it very interesting that your user name is LilCap
Why? That’s just the first three letters of my first name and the first three letters of my maiden name.
well you know the story of little red riding hood?
Of course I do!
the modern fairy tale was based on an ancient story called little red cap and youre LilCap
So does that make you the Big Bad Wolf?
depends
On what?
on whats in that basket of yours
Their chat continued for three hours that night, and ended with their promise of returning the next. Every night, Lily lay in bed waiting for everyone else to fall asleep, and then she slipped down the stairs and turned on the computer. Lily and Owen spent hours swapping stories about growing up, sharing the dreams they’d both had of fame and fortune in the music business, their struggles with parenthood, and finally, of the loneliness they both felt in their marriages. The language was never explicit, but an eddy of innuendo churned beneath the surface of each exchange.
They chatted almost every night for a month, and Lily’s life became marked with a lightness, an optimism even, and boundless energy. She often exercised twice in a day, skipping lunch in favor of doing lunges - regardless of her lack of sleep. And since she and Owen had only talked about kis
sing, and hadn’t actually done anything, she reasoned that she was still faithful, and not doing any harm. He continued to operate the sound board at church on Sundays, and she continued to enjoy stealing glances from over her shoulder and coyly brushing up against him as the congregation squeezed itself out of the sanctuary at the end of service.
One night while hanging out online waiting for Owen to show up, Lily browsed through her account settings, and happened upon her online statement.
“Holy shit!” she said to herself. “This can’t be right!” At two dollars and ninety-five cents per hour, Lily had racked up charges in excess of three hundred dollars chatting with Owen.
According to the statement, the bill had been sent via postal mail two days earlier. Tomorrow was Joe’s day off. Her mind raced. What if Joe opened the bill before she could intercept it? She could tell him that it was a mistake, and that she would call the accounting department and give them hell, and demand that they straighten it out right away. And then she would have to come up with the money. Without Joe knowing.
The next day Lily watched in a panic, first as the mail truck pulled away, then as Joe retrieved the letters from the mailbox. He flipped through them as he entered the house.
“What’s this?” he asked, holding up an envelope with the AOL logo on the return address.
“Oh, that’s just junk mail,” Lily said, extending her hand. “Here - give it to me.”
“It’s all trash anyway, unless it’s a check,” said Joe. He tossed the stack of letters into the garbage can.
Lily waited for Joe to leave the room, then fished the bill out of the garbage, wiped the wet coffee grounds from it, and shoved the envelope into her purse.
The next Sunday after service, Lily approached the sound table. “We need to talk,” she told Owen.
“Sounds serious,” said Owen, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt and rolling them up, revealing a hint at his slender but muscular runner’s physique.
“It is,” said Lily, in a near whisper. “I almost got busted.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know how much we chatted this month? I had to intercept the bill so my husband wouldn’t see it.” Lily pulled the statement out of the envelope and showed it to Owen. “I don’t even know what I would’ve told him - or how I am going to pay it.”
“Can’t you just tell him you’ve been online chatting with friends?” Owen glanced at the statement. “I know people who easily spend this much every month on AOL."
“You don’t understand my situation, Owen.” Lily shoved the statement back into the envelope. “This will cause World War III at my house. Joe cannot find out about it.”
“What can I do?” Owen reached out to touch Lily’s hands. She pulled away and then looked around to see if anyone was watching.
“Nothing. I don’t know. Nothing. But we can’t chat online anymore.”
“Let me give you the money for that.”
“I can’t,” said Lily.
“Why not?” said Owen.
“Owen, that’s a lot of money. I can’t take that from you. It wouldn’t be right. Plus, it would be kind of icky.”
Owen looked at her and almost imperceptibly nodded in agreement. He scanned the ceiling of the sanctuary, as if he might find an answer there.
“How about if I pay that bill,” he said. “And then you come and work at the studio in exchange?”
“Out of the question,” said Lily. “What would I even do there? I don’t know anything about recording.”
“You don’t have to. I still have a pile of Easter service recordings that need to be billed and shipped. I’m still editing them, but I have to get them in the can soon because new stuff has been coming in every week and I need to get to those.”
Lily’s heart raced at the prospect, at least for the second or two before reality set in.
“Joe would never let me,” she said.
“Really?” Owen leaned in toward Lily as though he wanted to take her into his arms, but stopped himself. “Not even if you just said you were offered a temporary part-time job?”
“Not for you,” said Lily.
“Why not me?”
“You’re a man.”
“What is this guy, a Neanderthal?”
Lily couldn’t hide the shock and shame she felt.
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Owen said. “That was uncalled for.”
“No it wasn’t, actually,” she replied. “It’s sad, but not uncalled for.”
“Can’t you tell him it’s for church?” asked Owen.
“That’s a lie,” said Lily.
“Not really,” said Owen. “You would be helping me with live church recordings. It really is kind of like helping to spread God’s word when you look at it that way.”
“But he would ask me for the money I make.”
“So we’ll make it a volunteer job,” said Owen.
“But if it’s a volunteer job, how will I pay the AOL bill?”
“It’s not really a volunteer job, silly,” Owen laughed.
“Oh, my God,” said Lily. “I can’t even keep my own lies straight. I can’t do this.”
“Sure you can. It’s not that difficult. Just tell him it’s a volunteer job for church, work for a few weeks, a few hours per week, and in the meantime I’ll send the payment in. Just give me the envelope.” Owen held his hand out for the bill.
Lily considered the idea. “No - he still won’t go for it. He’ll ask me about you, why you offered me the job, who else works there. It won’t work.” She glanced around the room to see Donna watching them. Lily smiled and waved. Owen followed suit. Donna waved back tentatively.
“Hey - I have an idea,” said Owen. “We’ll have Donna come, too.”
“Donna?”
“Yes, you can tell your husband that I asked you and Donna to help me with a church project for a few weeks. Would he be OK with that? With you and Donna coming together?”
“Probably,” said Lily. “But that means you have to hire her, too, doesn’t it?”
“So?”
“So now you’re paying my AOL bill, plus you have to hire Donna. That’s crazy, Owen.”
“It’s not that crazy, Lily. Now that I think about it, I could actually use a little help with some things around the studio. I haven’t cleaned or organized anything in ages. Yes, this is really a good idea, now that I think about it.”
Lily’s stomach filled with butterflies - partly at the prospect of working with Owen, but mostly at the realization that they were standing in the sanctuary, plotting their deception. There must be some kind of special punishment for an adulteress who conducts her business in church.
“We can’t chat online anymore,” said Lily.
“We won’t have to, Lily. We can see each other, instead.” Owen’s warm smile melted Lily’s resistance. She extended the envelope to Owen. Just as he reached for it, she yanked it away.
“I’m not making any promises. And you’ll have to ask Donna yourself. It can’t come from me.”
“No problem,” said Owen. “I’ll tell Donna that I asked you to help out and that I needed someone else so you recommended her.”
“Yes, that’s good,” said Lily. “It would also serve as an explanation to Donna why you and I are standing here speaking in whispers.” Lily was surprised and pleased that she was catching on quickly.
They considered the conditions. Donna would take the job as long as the hours coincided with school and didn’t interfere with the PTW meetings. And once Donna was committed, Lily was sure she could get Joe to go along - it’s for church... it’s only for a few weeks... Donna will be there, too. It really was the perfect plan. And it had the added benefit of getting Lily off the hook for finding a way to pay the AOL bill. She had to repeatedly remind herself that that was the whole purpose behind the scheme in the first place. That was all she wanted - a way to pay the bill.
“OK,” said Lily, still distracted as her mind played out the scenari
o. She handed Owen the envelope. “OK.”
Donna was thrilled to take the job. “It will give me a few extra bucks to save toward our family vacation to Disney World this summer,” she said, clapping. “I’ve been hearing about this hotel called The Polynesian where they have a luau with authentic barbequed pork ribs - and then there’s Epcot Center where they have restaurants that serve food from all over the world - all in one place!” She quickly added, “Oh, I’m sorry, Lily - was that bragging? I didn’t mean to brag.”
“No - don’t worry about it. It’s cool.”
“What are you going to do with your pay?” Donna asked.
“I’ll probably use it to help out with the bills, so just don’t bring it up in front of Joe, OK? He’d be embarrassed.”
“Of course not, darlin’.”
“And maybe don’t talk about what you’re doing with your money in front of Joe or the kids, OK? Do you mind?” Lily would not be able to explain why Donna was getting a paycheck and she was not.
“Mum’s the word!” Donna pantomimed locking her lips and throwing the key over her shoulder.
Over the next two days, Lily felt intermittently nagged by guilt for involving Donna in the plan that she and Owen had hatched, but she found consolation in convincing herself that if she had told Donna that she had racked up a huge AOL bill that she couldn’t pay, that she was afraid to tell Joe, and that Owen had offered her a job that she couldn’t take unless Donna worked there with her, Donna would most certainly have gone along. By not giving her more information than she needed to have, Lily was actually protecting her. Donna could not be condemned for being ignorantly complicit. Plus, she would be getting a nice rack of ribs out of the deal.
After an agonizing night of anticipation, the black sky turned gray, and an orange sun peeked out from behind the horizon. Lily busied herself in the kitchen, emptying the dishwasher and setting the table for breakfast. She caught herself humming and harshly reminded herself not to appear so chipper. If Joe suspected this was anything more than a boring volunteer job for church, if he sniffed it out and determined that today meant something to Lily, he would be sure to pull it out from under her.
The Complete Series Page 96