“Don’t expect it to make sense, Lily,” said Sophie. “His objective is to hurt you. Attack never makes sense.”
“Good point,” said Lily.
“He could jus’ be tryin’ to scare you,” said Kitten. “Mebbe he thinks you’ll come back if you think he will take them boys away from you.”
“Yeah,” said Lily. “That’s probably what it is. I have to say, if he’s trying to scare me, he’s doing an excellent job.”
“When my ex lured my kids away, that’s just how it went,” said Claire. “First they became belligerent, then they asked for extended visits, then my ex got a girlfriend and the next thing I knew, they wanted to be over there all the time.”
“What did you do?” Lily asked.
“I panicked,” said Claire. “I went out and borrowed money from everyone I knew, I mortgaged the house and I took him to court. That was four years ago and it’s still not settled. My kids are still living with him, getting more deeply entrenched. Only now they’re so old, that even a judge would agree that they should choose where they want to be. Plus, they’re angry with me for causing their father so much trouble.” Claire was looking down, winding the cord from her drawstring jacket around her index finger, unwinding it, and then winding it up again. “I’ve dug myself into such a hole that if they did come back to live with me, I wouldn’t even be able to afford to take care of them. I lost my job because I had to be in court so much – my ex and his lawyer kept booking dates and then cancelling them at the last minute - once I had already gotten time away from work. I’m broke, unemployed, and I still have to live with this mess every day. If you want my advice, Lily, just let them go if that’s what they say they want. You can use the time to heal and get your act together. In your ex’s situation, with his job and all, I bet you’ll have them both back by the Fourth of July. And then this matter will be closed forever. You won’t have to live in fear of him stealing your boys away, and he will lose his power over you. I say call his bluff, and let’s be done with it. Otherwise,” added Claire, “this is going to eat you alive.”
“It already is,” said Lily.
After Joe picked the boys up the following Saturday night, Lily walked down to the neighborhood grill and ordered a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and fries to go, which she devoured while sitting on the front porch watching as the moon rose and cast ribbons of silver light on the water. She finally forced herself to go inside where the plan was to enjoy a long hot bath in the deep claw-footed tub before tackling a few unpacked boxes. However, a short rest on the bed to catch her breath turned into a sleep so sound that she didn’t stir until Wishes licked at her toes, which had found their way out from under the blanket and were dangling off the side of the bed.
“You’re a good friend, Wishes,” said Lily, filling her dish with dog food. “And,” she added, patting Wishes on the head. “I am grateful for your silence.” Lily made her way back upstairs just as the boys came bounding in and ran past her down the stairs.
“I’ll be right down,” she called to them. Lily peeked out the back window to make sure that Joe’s car was gone, then washed her face, brushed her teeth and pulled on a pair of jeans and the first T-shirt she could find. For the first time in recent memory, she wasn’t tired.
“Did you guys have fun?” Lily called from the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee, which had gone cold since the auto-timer had switched off more than four hours ago. She placed the “World’s Greatest Mother” mug the boys had given her for Mother’s Day into the microwave and joined them in the living room, looking forward to planning a day of fun and relaxation with them.
The boys - Pierce wearing his cowboy hat, as he had become accustomed to - were sitting on the floor in front the TV, playing Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo.
“What did you guys do with your dad?” Lily asked.
“Oh – no!” shouted Joseph. “Not Bowser! I hate him!”
“Look out, Joseph!” cried Pierce, covering his eyes with his hands.
“Hey – guys – I’m talking to you,” said Lily. “What did you do with your dad?”
“Nuthin’,” said Joseph.
“Let’s turn off the TV and go for a walk on the beach,” said Lily. “It’s a gorgeous day!”
Joseph looked at Pierce, and then picked up the game controller and resumed the game. “We don’t want to go to the beach,” he said.
“Yeah,” said Pierce. “We don’t want to go to the beach.”
“What do you mean? You love the beach. C’mon, let’s shut off the TV and get out into the sun and fresh air.”
“No!” said Pierce. He picked up his controller and then looked at Joseph, giving him a little nod. “Right, Joseph?”
Joseph nudged Pierce with his elbow, and then looked at Pierce with eyes widened, as if in warning.
“I’m serious, you two. We’re going outside.” Lily picked up the remote control and turned off the set. “Now,” she added.
Joseph folded his arms across his chest. “You can’t make us.”
Lily reached behind the TV set and pulled out all the cables for the game system.
“Mommy – what are you doing?” shouted Pierce.
“I can’t make you go outside, but until you do, there will be no more video games.”
Joseph ran for the phone. “I’m gonna call my Dad and tell him that you’re being mean to us.”
“No, you are not,” said Lily. She tucked the Nintendo system under her arm, and strode across the room, pulling the base of the phone from the wall as Joseph attempted to punch out a series of numbers on the keypad.
“Get outside, both of you.” Lily’s heart was pounding. She had no idea what her next move would be if they didn’t comply.
Joseph leaned over and whispered into Pierce’s ear. Pierce nodded and smiled at him.
“OK- if that’s what you want,” said Joseph. “We’ll go outside.”
“Yeah, we’ll go outside!” said Pierce.
Both boys darted out the front door and ran toward the water. Lily ran after them, stopping briefly on the front porch to pull on her flip-flops.
The three of them came to a halt at the water’s edge together, the boys seeming to be at as much of a loss about what to do next as Lily was.
“I could teach you guys how to skip stones!” she finally said. “Watch this.”
Lily picked up a smooth flat rock from the sand. With a flick of her wrist, she sent it sailing over the surface of the water, skipping every couple of feet until it finally disappeared beneath the waves. “Isn’t that cool?” she said.
Joseph raised a large rock overhead, walked over to the water, and let it fall, causing a splash that sprayed Lily with cold lake water.
“Joseph!” she cried.
Pierce followed suit by finding a rock and pitching it into the water, the limited force of his small body creating a much smaller physical effect, though not lacking in fervor.
“Good one, PJ!” said Joseph.
“OK, that’s enough, you guys,” said Lily.
The boys scurried about the beach, collecting rocks and firing them into the water, giving each other a high-five whenever Lily was caught in the splash.
“Cut it out!” Lily cried. “The next one to pick up a rock is staying in their room the rest of the day!” It was a punishment she wasn’t sure she could mete out.
“OK, no more rocks!” cried Joseph. He scooped up a fistful of sand and threw it up into the air. The wind blew the sand back at them.
Pierce then picked up a fistful of sand and released it, only to have it blow back into his own face. “My eyes! My eyes!” he cried.
Lily squatted down and set Pierce on her thigh. She splashed his face with lake water, which only made him angrier. He screamed and wriggled, landing himself face down in the cold, shallow water. He scrambled to his feet, his cries rivaled only by Joseph’s dark laughter. Lily grabbed Pierce and held his flailing arms down at his sides.
“Calm down, Pi
erce,” she said sternly. “As soon as you calm down, I will let you go.”
“Look!” said Joseph, pointing out toward the water.
“My cowboy hat!” screamed Pierce.
The small straw hat bobbed on the surface of the water.
“I’ll get it!” called Joseph.
“Joseph – no!” cried Lily. “You two stay right there. I’ll get it.”
Lily rolled up her jeans and waded out into the icy water. With every ripple, the lake carried the hat farther from shore, until it became clear that the only way to retrieve it would be to jump in and swim after it.
“My cowboy hat!” cried Pierce. “My cowboy hat!”
Just as Lily resolved to dive into the frigid water after it, the hat tilted and then disappeared beneath the waves.
“My cowboy hat!” cried Pierce. “My daddy gave me that hat! I want it back!” Pierce threw himself into the water. “I want my cowboy hat!” cried Pierce. “I want my cowboy hat!”
Lily wrangled him from the cold water.
“I want my cowboy hat! I hate the lake! I hate you!”
Joseph jumped up and down in the water, clapping his hands. “You tell her, PJ!”
Wet, cold, and covered with sand, the three of them trudged back toward the house, Lily dragging Joseph by the hand and carrying a wailing Pierce in her arms.
After baths and a change of clothes, they were all subdued. Lily made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and warmed up a can of chicken noodle soup. The three of them sat quietly at the table, as Lily struggled to make sense out of recent events and out of Joseph and Pierce’s behavior.
Joseph slurped his soup. Pierce peeled the crusts from his bread.
“Guys, I gotta ask you – what the heck was that all about anyway?”
Joseph and Pierce exchanged a glance.
“What?” said Lily. “What on earth is going on with you two?”
“I want to go live with my Dad,” said Joseph.
A rush of heat rocketed up through Lily’s body.
“What do you mean?” she said.
Tears came to Joseph’s eyes. “My father is all alone and he won’t make it without us.”
“Of course he will, Joseph. He’s a grown man. He’ll be fine, in time. We all will.”
“He won’t,” said Joseph, a tear running down his face. “He’ll die if he’s alone.”
“Sweetie, look at me,” said Lily, taking Joseph’s hand. “Your father is not going to die. Is that what he told you?”
Joseph looked down at his soup, then glanced at Pierce, and then back at his soup. “No,” he said, pulling his hand out of Lily’s. “I can just tell.”
“I want to go live with my Daddy, too,” said Pierce. “Then you will see what it’s like to be left all alone, right, Joseph? Ow!” cried Pierce. “Why did you kick me?
“I don’t know what your father has been telling you,” said Lily, “but you are not going to live with him. It is not going to happen, so just forget about it.” The boys sat staring at her blankly. “Now finish your lunch and go play video games.”
Lily returned from group the next Wednesday, just as Joe was dropping Joseph and Pierce back home. The interior lights of the car switched on. There was a woman in the front seat, and she got out to let Pierce out of the back seat. She was tall and thin, and wore a short faux fur jacket and high-heeled boots.
“It was so nice to meet you, PJ,” she said.
“It was nice to meet you, too, Samantha,” Pierce replied.
“Can I have a hug?” Samantha asked. She squatted to bring herself down to his level, and he threw his arms around her neck.
“Lil,” said Joe. “I was thinkin’ of keeping the boys both days this coming weekend. You got any problem with that?”
Joe, Pierce, Joseph and Samantha all looked at Lily.
“Sure,” said Lily, still trying to put together the picture before her. “I guess that would be OK.” Her stomach churned, but she had no legal grounds to refuse.
“Will you be at my Dad’s on Saturday?” Joseph asked Samantha.
“You bet she will,” said Joe. “Now go and be good for your mother.”
Joe looked at Lily, winked, and drove away.
Lily found comfort in telling herself that it might be nice to have the entire weekend alone, but by Saturday night she was inexplicably anxious and by Sunday morning she found that she was pacing the floors, watching for the boys to return. When Joe finally dropped them off, they burst in through the back door, flung their jackets and backpacks onto the floor of the foyer, kicked muddy sneakers off into the air, spraying Lily with clumps of dirt, before barreling down the stairs, followed by Wishes, with Lily standing dumbfounded in the foyer.
“Wait just a minute, you two!” she called. “Just where do you think you’re going?”
“We’re gonna play the new video game Daddy bought us at the mall.”
By the time Lily arrived in the living room, Joseph and Pierce were planted in front of the television, each with a game controller in hand. On the screen was a graphical display of a war zone, with soldiers in arms running across a bridge, firing at oncoming characters.
“Get ‘im, PJ!” shouted Joseph. “Get him - blow his head off!”
“I’m trying,” shouted Pierce, as he furiously manipulated his remote.
“Oh, my God!” said Lily. “What in the world are you playing?” She walked over and clicked off the TV.
Joseph got up and clicked it back on.
“You are not playing that game in this house,” said Lily.
“My Dad said we could!” said Joseph. “He bought it for us - it cost sixty-five dollars!”
“Yea - my Dad said we could!” mimicked Pierce.
Lily walked over to the game console and pushed the eject button. “Well this is my house and I say you can’t.”
“You’re a bitch!” said Joseph.
“What did you say?!” Lily started toward him.
“I said you’re a bitch,” said Joseph, heading for the stairs. “C’mon PJ - run!”
Pierce followed Joseph up the stairs.
“Both of you put your things away while you’re up there, and stay in your room until I tell you to come down.”
Lily pounded out Joe’s number on the phone, but there was no answer. When the beep signaled Lily’s opportunity to leave a message, she said, “Joe - it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this message. The boys -”
Lily heard a loud thump and then Wishes came running down the stairs.
“Help!” Lily heard Joseph cry.
She slammed down the receiver and took the stairs two at a time.
“Help!” cried Pierce.
“We’re being abused!” shouted Joseph.
Lily flew into Joseph’s bedroom to find Joseph straddling the window sill, one foot on the floor of his room, the other outside on the roof. Pierce was leaning out the window, his feet off the floor, as he balanced his belly across the sill.
“Abuse! Abuse!” cried Pierce.
Lily ran over and pulled Pierce away from the window, and then grabbed Joseph and pulled him inside.
“What in the world is going on up here?” she cried. “Why are you guys acting this way?”
“You’re abusing us!” said Joseph.
“Yea!” said Pierce.
Lily stood and looked at her sons, their arms crossed over their small chests, looks of defiance plastered across their faces, and she burst into tears.
Pierce ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her hips.
“Don’t cry, Mommy!”
Joseph stomped past Lily and back down the stairs. Lily sat on the bed crying, with Pierce at her side.
“It’s OK, Mommy,” said Pierce. “I’m sorry. We’ll be good, OK?”
Lily kissed Pierce on top of his head. “I’m OK,” she said, wiping her face. “Are you OK?”
“Yes, I’m OK, Mommy. Don’t cry, OK?”
“OK,” said Lily, strugg
ling to put a smile on her face. “Just go downstairs and play nice with your brother, alright?”
Pierce hopped down from Lily’s lap and scampered down the stairs.
Lily replaced the window screen, closed the bedroom window and securely fastened the lock. She surveyed the vista from where she stood, grateful that none of her neighbors lived close enough to hear the commotion.
When Joe finally called Lily back later that evening, she explained what had happened.
“And this is my fault, how?” Joe said.
“They had just come from a visit with you, Joe. And that video game you bought them is awful - did you even watch it?”
“They play it over here all the time,” said Joe. “They wanted one for your place.”
“It’s no wonder they came home so wild.”
“Lil - it’s not the video game’s fault that you can’t handle your own children.”
“I can handle them just fine,” said Lily curtly. “I just don’t want them playing any more violent video games.”
“Your house, your rules,” said Joe. “My house, my rules.”
“Screw you!” said Lily, and she slammed down the receiver.
The following Tuesday night after dinner the phone rang, and Joseph leapt up from his chair to answer it.
“Hi, Daddy!” He spoke to Joe in the syrupy way that children speak to babies. “Aw, nuthin... we just finished eating. What did you do today? (pause) What? You DID?! (pause) You want me to tell her right now? And then do what? (pause) OK, Daddy.”
Joseph turned toward Lily, pointed the headset of the phone at her and announced, “Mom, my Dad just bought our house!”
“What do mean? What house?”
“Our house – our house on Trevi Way – my Dad just bought it!”
“WHAT!? Lily screamed.
“He’s coming over to get us so we can go see it!”
Lily’s stomach roiled and her knees grew weak. She trembled with anger and panic.
“Let me have the phone, Joseph.” Lily extended her hand.
“She wants to talk to you, Daddy.” Turning back to Lily, Joseph said, “Daddy said he doesn’t want to talk to you, and you can just tell me whatever it is you want to say.”
“No, baby, I can’t,” Lily told Joseph, placing her hand on the receiver. “I need to talk to your father.”
The Complete Series Page 126